You Know My Size Better Than I Do
In the brief silence that followed, I scrambled to pull myself together.
“S-sorry.”
The apology I should have offered immediately only slipped out after far too much time had passed. I had no idea what kind of reaction to expect from Shin Yujin.
“You need the bathroom?”
Her tone was so utterly indifferent that I felt embarrassed for getting flustered in the first place.
“If you’re in a hurry, go ahead.”
“No, it’s fine. I’ll go after you finish washing up.”
“Suit yourself.”
I carefully closed the bathroom door, stepped into the living room, and sank onto the couch with a heavy sigh. Part of it was regret for my thoughtless behavior, but mostly it was because of how casually Shin Yujin had handled the whole situation.
Strictly speaking, her attitude wasn’t strange at all. Having regressed with our memories intact, we were intimately familiar with each other’s bodies after fourteen years together. It was simply that her complete nonchalance had thrown me off balance.
-Clack!
“All done.”
“Oh, yeah.”
“What’s with the red face? Did seeing my body do that to you?”
“Of course it did. That’s a perfectly normal reaction.”
“You’ve seen it plenty of times before. You know my size better than I do.”
“…It’s just weird hearing you say that with that face.”
“Anyway, did you get that hard because you really had to pee?”
At Shin Yujin’s question—no, at her light teasing—I glanced down. Sure enough, my lower half had risen to full attention, proudly making its presence known even through my underwear and pants.
“It really is big.”
“What the hell are you saying!”
I brushed off her bizarre joke, used the bathroom, and came back out. If she’d made comments like that with the face I was used to, it might not have felt so jarring. But seeing those innocent twenty-year-old features deliver that kind of line was something I simply couldn’t adjust to.
When I emerged, Shin Yujin was already wearing an apron and making breakfast. As expected, it was toast with melted butter and sunny-side-up eggs.
“Oh, right. The salt is…”
“I’ll find it and use it.”
“Of course you know where everything is.”
“Yerim said she’s coming after lunch, so I’ll eat here and head out afterward.”
“Sure, whatever.”
“What should we have for lunch? If we’re missing ingredients, I can run out and buy some.”
“You’re planning to cook?”
“You helped me yesterday, so it feels like the right thing to do.”
Personally, I could never say no to Shin Yujin’s cooking. Everything she made tasted better than average, and some dishes were so good they could easily be sold at a restaurant. If I’d been alone I would’ve just boiled ramen, so there was no reason to refuse.
“Han Yuchan.”
“What?”
“Laundry’s done. Hang it up for me.”
“When did you even wake up? You already ran a full load?”
“I got up a little early. There was a huge pile in the laundry room. Try living like a civilized person for once.”
“I was going to do it this morning. You’re the one who threw everything in the washer first.”
Following her request, I pulled out the finished load and hung it on the veranda. I spotted several items that weren’t mine—her clothes and underwear must have been in there too. She’d even hand-washed some things. This wasn’t “a little early.”
“Did you not sleep well?”
“No, I slept fine. I just woke up early.”
“Looked like you were up at seven.”
“My eyes just opened. Maybe because I slept so comfortably. Come eat breakfast.”
After hanging the laundry, I sat at the table and ate the breakfast she had prepared. It had only been two weeks since I last had this exact meal, yet it felt like ages. Even though I used to get sick of this breakfast every single morning, today I ate it with genuine pleasure.
“You’re not dropping bread crumbs everywhere anymore.”
“Guess not.”
“Would’ve been nice if you’d done that from the start.”
While eating, I noticed her habitual gesture—pressing her thumb with her index finger. I knew her bone wasn’t actually fractured, but instinct made me reach out and grab her hand anyway.
“What?”
“Don’t do that.”
“It’s not broken anyway. It’s just a habit, I can’t help it.”
“Still, pressing it like that can’t be good for you.”
“There goes Han Yuchan with the nagging again.”
“If you stop doing it, I’ll stop talking about it.”
“Fine, I won’t do it anymore. Happy now?”
After breakfast, we turned on the TV to relax. While flipping through channels, we landed on a variety show Shin Yujin used to love. She loved it so much that even after it ended its run, she would hunt down episodes online.
“Hey, Shin Yujin. Your favorite show’s on.”
“What?! It’s not time for a new episode.”
“Must be a rerun.”
“I have to watch it right now!”
She naturally settled beside me and began watching with sparkling eyes. Even though she’d seen it enough times to memorize every line, her expression was that of someone watching it for the very first time.
“Cough! Cough!”
Hearing her cough, I stood up and brought her some water. Her throat had always been weak; she used to run a humidifier constantly at her own place, and even after we got married we kept two or three of them going.
“Here.”
“Thanks. You should get a humidifier for this place. The one I gave you… wait, I haven’t given it to you yet, have I?”
“How is a twenty-year-old already losing her mind?”
“You say twenty, but the mind inside is thirty-four.”
“And I’m thirty-seven.”
Having regressed, our way of thinking remained firmly in our mid-to-late thirties. As a result, people had teased us more than once for acting like old souls in young bodies. What could we do about it? We’d already survived a society and corporate life that was far more insane than anything these kids could throw at us.
Even when a nightmare group member joined our recent team project, I barely batted an eye. Society was full of people far worse.
“Oh, right. Do you still smoke at this age?”
“There are cigarettes in the house, but I don’t smoke them. I quit.”
“You were smoking heavily back then. That’s why I told you I wouldn’t date you if you didn’t stop.”
“I quit with pure desperation. I didn’t want to lose you.”
“Then you can start again now. There’s no girl like that to stop you anymore.”
“Why would I restart something I already quit? It’s still bad for me.”
Talking about the past like this naturally brought back old memories. I remembered her ultimatum—that if I didn’t quit smoking, there would be no dates. To me at the time, it had felt like a lightning bolt from a clear sky, so I’d somehow managed to quit.
While lost in thought, I suddenly met Shin Yujin’s steady gaze.
“What?”
“Your body really was in great shape at this age.”
“Are we body-shaming me now?”
“Lift your shirt.”
“Have you lost your mind? What are you talking about?”
“Come on, hurry. I want to see something nice.”
If I hadn’t seen her like that last night, I wouldn’t have had to entertain this ridiculous request. Telling myself it was the wish of a sick patient, I reluctantly pulled up my shirt.
“Satisfied?”
“Wow, look at those abs. Your chest is so firm too.”
“Are you actually insane? Why are you touching me?”
“It used to be so nice. Why did it get all soft?”
“Probably because after we got married the company was hell, so I drank every night.”
“So marriage really was the problem.”
“Yep. Marriage was definitely the problem.”
For a while, neither of us would probably think about dating again before marriage. I was sure she felt the same.
“You should exercise consistently. It really helped.”
“I may not have lived that long, but I’ve lived three years longer than you.”
“There’s no set order for who goes first. Just remember that.”
“Looking at our current bodies, it seems like you’d go first.”
“What are you even saying?”
“You didn’t exercise at all. After turning thirty you said you couldn’t live like this anymore and finally started working out.”
Shin Yujin, who had seemed unwilling to back down, quickly retreated and returned her attention to the variety show. She had probably convinced herself that since her body was young again after the regression, exercise could wait.
Watching her quietly enjoy the program, it still didn’t feel real that we were sitting together like this. For two whole years we had avoided sharing the same space at all costs. We hated being together no matter the atmosphere, because we both knew that simply being close would lead to a fight.
“I don’t know if it’s just me, but doesn’t it feel good every time you wake up in the morning?”
“It’s nice that my body isn’t heavy at all and moves exactly how I want it to.”
“Exactly. That’s why my mood is usually pretty good.”
“No matter how weird things get, it’s still less annoying than dealing with society.”
“Pfft! True. And being twenty instead of thirty-four somehow gives me more confidence.”
“I like right now. If we’d regressed any earlier I’d have to go through military service twice. That would be fucking awful.”
If we had regressed to a time before military service? Whoever was responsible for sending us back, I would have resented them endlessly. No—I would have found them somehow and made them pay the price.
-Viiiing! Viiiing!-
“Oh? It’s Yerim. I’ll take this.”
“Go ahead.”
“Yeah, Yerim!”
The moment she answered Kim Yerim’s call, her tone and pitch completely changed from how she’d been speaking to me. It was like she had an internal switch. I never knew a person’s voice could transform that dramatically.
“I slept over at Yuchan oppa’s house. It felt a little lonely being by myself~”
“…What the hell are you saying?!”
I was startled by Shin Yujin’s sudden high-pitched, cutesy tone. Her face flushed bright red and her eyes widened like a startled rabbit.
What was that? Why was she acting like this all of a sudden?