I'll Head Over to Your Place
My brain short-circuited for a second. I couldn't come up with any kind of response.
Stay over at my place? Out of nowhere? She doesn't even like being around me that much.
While I was still reeling from Shin Yujin's sudden words...
I couldn't ignore the way her voice was still trembling. At the same time, something I'd completely forgotten in the chaos of regression suddenly came back to me.
Right after we got married, back in the early days of our marriage following that long relationship. There had been a stalker following Shin Yujin. He would trail her whenever she came home alone at night, and he knew the address of both her school and her house.
Luckily, the laws regarding stalkers were solid by then, so we were able to get him properly punished. But even years later, Shin Yujin couldn't shake the trauma. She hated walking alone at night or being home by herself.
That's why we eventually moved, and she changed schools too. When I couldn't pick her up, Kim Yerim would do it. And when I had to work late, she'd stay at Kim Yerim's place until I got home. That's how I remembered it.
Even long after the early days of our marriage, Shin Yujin still couldn't easily overcome that trauma.
God, am I really this pathetic? No matter how distracted I was, how could I have forgotten something like that?
She still doesn't like sharing the same space with me. And I'm sure the feeling is mutual for her.
Even so...
I couldn't possibly leave her alone.
"Are you home right now?"
"I'm heading over to your place right now. Wait for me."
"What are you talking about, coming over here by yourself? I'm coming to you."
I ended the call, quickly threw on some clothes, and rushed straight to Shin Yujin's house.
Seeing that this was the first time she'd called me today, it seemed like Kim Yerim had been staying with her at night ever since the regression. That was a relief.
If I'd remembered her trauma, I never would've let her go home alone. What the hell was I thinking? I knew everything and still sent her back by herself.
When I arrived at her house, I was about to ring the doorbell but realized that might scare her too, so I entered the door lock code and stepped inside.
"Hey, Shin Yujin."
The moment I opened the door and walked in—
-Thud!!
Shin Yujin came running and threw herself into my arms, holding on tight.
She didn't need to say a word. I could feel every single one of her emotions. The way her body was trembling, the way her arms shook around my neck—it explained everything.
I patted her back as she tried to explain the situation. She didn't have to say anything. I already knew. Through my actions, I told her what was in my heart.
This was the side of her I'd seen in the early days of our marriage. Maybe the version of Shin Yujin I was most familiar with.
I felt like absolute garbage.
By the time our relationship had soured, she stopped showing any vulnerability, so I'd convinced myself she was fine and acted like none of it had ever happened. I was the worst.
"Let's go to my place. Pack some clothes to change into."
Even though she was alone, every light in the house was on. Even in the bathroom. The TV was blaring at full volume too, like she was trying to fight the trauma.
"They're where you always keep them. Second drawer under your bed."
"There's no reason for me not to remember."
"What now?"
"Under the hanger in your room."
She must have been incredibly tense. Shin Yujin, who normally kept better track of her things than anyone, was fumbling around like this.
Once she'd packed everything, we left the house together. In the dark street lit only by faint streetlights, her trembling hand was impossible to miss.
Before I could even think about it—
-Squeeze!!
I grabbed her hand.
Even though it was sudden, Shin Yujin didn't say anything. She just held on and kept walking.
"For what?"
"We're supposed to be dating right now anyway. It doesn't matter."
"Who cares? Just tell Kim Yerim about this properly. She'll believe it more then."
Her tone was as stiff as always. But underneath it, we talked about other things as we made our way to my house.
While she unpacked her things, I turned on every light in the house and waited. When I brought her some tea I'd brewed...
"You know it."
"It should help you calm down."
The conversation flowed naturally, like we already knew everything about each other.
"You mean you didn't shower?"
"Go ahead and make yourself comfortable. I'll be in my room."
I went into my room alone and thought about Shin Yujin again. Over and over. Dozens of times.
Before the regression, I'd used the excuse that I was too used to it all. After the regression, I'd used the excuse that I was too distracted. I'd forgotten so many things.
No matter how bad our relationship had gotten, no matter how much I'd considered divorce, this was inexcusably complacent of me.
"Haah... I'm seriously pathetic."
I'd let out a small sigh of self-loathing when Shin Yujin, fresh from her shower, walked into my room. Her hair was already dry—she must have known exactly where the hair dryer was. Guess I didn't need to tell her where anything was.
I got up from the bed, laid out a blanket on the floor, and lay down.
"You hate being alone in a room, don't you?"
"You can't even sleep on the floor properly. Just take the bed."
"It's fine. You came all the way here to sleep together, and if you don't get any sleep because of me, I'll be the one feeling uncomfortable."
I knew how sensitive she was about sleeping arrangements, so I readily gave up the bed. Besides, I could fall asleep anywhere just by closing my eyes.
"No. You can't sleep when it's bright. You can turn them off."
A little anxious, I turned off every light in the house as she'd said and lay down on the floor. Shin Yujin lay down on the bed too, but for some reason she turned to face my direction.
"What?"
"Why thank me for something like this? It's not like we've only met a couple times."
"Fourteen years. Way too long."
Maybe this was what people meant when they said familiarity breeds affection. I just couldn't leave her by herself.
"Is that really okay?"
"You can't do anything when you're alone anyway. If it's easier for you, then do that."
"You've known each other since high school. If you suddenly told her something like this, wouldn't she be shocked?"
The conversation flowed in a much more comfortable atmosphere than before. It seemed like she found the talk enjoyable too, because we couldn't easily end it. It really felt like we'd gone back to the days when we got along. Of course, the way we spoke to each other and our attitudes were different now.
"Then it'll be toast and fried eggs again, right?"
"For two years, that was the only breakfast I ever got."
"Making breakfast is such a hassle."
"I've told you so many times. You have to eat breakfast, even if it's something simple."
"Yeah. You sleep well too."
I savored the warmth of Shin Yujin that still lingered in my arms and carefully closed my eyes. Hoping she could sleep comfortably.
How much time had passed?
Sunlight streaming through the blinds hit my eyes hard. I tried to ignore it and sleep more, but the light was too strong. Eventually I woke up, let out a deep sigh, left the room, and drank some water.
I opened the bathroom door to use the toilet.
But then—
"Huh?"
"Uh...?"
Our eyes met. Shin Yujin, in the middle of showering. Completely naked, without a single thread on her body.
Oh, right. I'd slept in the same house as her last night.