Dispatched to the Academy

A week had passed since I'd barely managed to salvage the situation after coming within a hair's breadth of that thrilling, heart-pounding interview with the Golden Duke. Until about three days ago, I'd even been dreaming about Section Chief 3 exploding in spectacular fashion and the Golden Duke finally paying a visit to the Audit Department.

In the dream I would be left utterly helpless against that casually laughing face and the soul-threshing eloquence, only to slam my desk afterward muttering, "I should have countered like this!" I had no idea how many times I'd done that. The details were so vivid it only made me angrier. Who the hell was controlling my dreams? How had I managed to have the exact same dream four days in a row?

"You slept so deeply you had dreams?"

"Four days in a row...?"

"You... slept...?"

"The Audit Department's ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠working environment has hit rock bottom..."

What the hell was that last one supposed to mean. What had these people been doing without sleep for an entire week.

"Because the Chief piled all the night shifts on me, my date got postponed. I've been catching up on the backlog and haven't been able to sleep lately."

"Maybe not letting you go home is a public service to the young ladies of the capital?"

Vicious bastard. So the ones destined for success could still manage romance even in this environment. Section Chief 3 stared at Section Chief 2 with mournful eyes at that wide-area provocation against all singles. That guy had been a textbook "never gonna make it" specimen until he miraculously got married.

Of course, so was I. Our eyes happened to meet; Section Chief 3 and I exchanged a brief flash of solidarity before looking away. I had no desire to get used to this particular brand of camaraderie.

Watching the whole scene, Section Chief 1 scratched his head and opened his mouth.

"Chief, I have something to tell you."

"Huh? Section 1's report is finished, isn't it?"

"Yes. It's not a report. I have a message to deliver."

"What is it?"

"The Minister is looking for you. He said to come once the meeting is over."

My body tensed at the words that the Minister was looking for me, then relaxed again. The fact that he'd granted a grace period until after the meeting meant it probably wasn't going to be another session of flying ink bottles and roaring.

I felt a little sad that I instinctively flinched the moment I heard the word "Minister." I didn't have many superiors, yet every single one of the few I did have was far from ordinary. Wouldn't ten perfectly average superiors be better for my mental health?

"No, why does that old man use people as messengers when he has a perfectly good communication crystal sitting right there? Last time he made ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠the Vice Minister do it too."

At those words, Section Chief 1's red eyes silently fixed on me. The look clearly asked whether I was seriously posing that question. What? What is it, man.

"Chief. You said you don't answer the Minister's calls well? He was furious that he has to dial ten times just to get through three or four."

"Well, when a person's busy with important work, they might miss a call or two."

A civil servant could inevitably miss calls while handling major matters. The Audit Department wasn't some rural guard outpost; it was one of the empire's core departments. If the Chief answered every single call, wouldn't that actually be proof of negligence—evidence that he had far too much free time? If a subordinate chief was diligently working, the Minister ought to be happy about it.

At my shameless reply, Section Chief 2 burst out laughing. The sound seemed to say, "That's exactly why you're a regular guest at the Minister's office."

"If I were the Minister, I'd have driven a pen into the Chief's skull long ago."

"No wonder he always tries to slam me down whenever he sees me."

One of the lingering mysteries had finally been solved. Ah, so that was why...

"Khuh... Anyway, shouldn't you be going? It's not that he's calling you because he's angry, but if you're late you'll definitely get to see an angry Minister."

"I see that all the time, so I don't particularly care."

Even as I said it, I quietly rose from my seat. Precisely because I saw it all the time, I wanted to see it even less. Every single time he grew angry in new and different patterns, ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠which was enough to drive the person on the receiving end completely insane. My eyes grew distant for a moment.

"If you keep acting like that, when I retire I'll name you the next Minister!"

That scolding from a year ago still hadn't faded. To strike at the very thing a person feared most... too cruel...

"Anyway, nothing more to discuss. Dismissed."

"Yes~"

"Come back safely."

-Knock knock

"Your Excellency the Minister, it's me. The Audit Department Chief."

"Come in."

The moment I opened the door I seriously considered closing it again. Filling my entire field of vision was the Minister, dumbbells gripped in both hands, flaunting his muscles while working out. Ugh. My eyes.

"...What are you doing?"

"Did the young guy already go senile? I'm working out."

No, I wasn't asking because I failed to notice he was working out. What kind of Minister did weight training in his office during business hours.

"Ah, yes. I understand."

Of course, with that particular Minister standing right in front of me, I couldn't bring myself to say any of that out loud.

Better that he's in workout mode than rage mode...

If he were in rage mode, those very muscles he was training would come flying straight at me—how was anyone supposed to endure that. A modest wish arose that he would simply train alone for a hundred or a thousand days instead.

Watching me carefully enter, the Minister tossed the dumbbells into one corner. With a heavy thud the entire floor shook violently for a moment. Crazy... absolute lunatic...

"Why so surprised? Can't you even lift that much?"

"Pardon? Why would you assume I can lift that?"

The Minister, every inch of him equipped with muscles that flaunted their existence as if begging to be noticed, walked toward me. It looked exactly like a giant bear standing on two legs and approaching.

At that wondrous spectacle I nearly dropped to my knees and begged for forgiveness of my own accord. I had no idea what I had done wrong, but anyway, I was sorry... The Minister who had drawn close frowned and smacked me hard across the back.

"Ack!"

"You punk, looking at you now—why are you so skinny? Stuck in the office all day and lost every bit of muscle."

"No, I have never once heard that anywhere else...!"

In your eyes, is there anyone who isn't skinny!

Protesting as if seizing up from the pain radiating through my back, the Minister didn't even bother listening with half an ear and simply sneered instead.

"Of course you haven't heard it. You never go outside."

"No, damn it—it pisses me off more because it's true."

"Enough. Sit. I called you because I have something to say."

Since the Minister turned without the slightest mercy and sat in the seat of honor, I had no choice but to stop protesting and take my seat as well.

Somehow he seems even bigger after just a few weeks.

Quickly scanning him from head to toe, I confirmed that his muscles had indeed bulked up a subtle but definite amount since last time. Infinite-growth muscles—who the hell had released such a deranged creature into the world. Looking at that, was it even human? More like a half-ogre. One thing was certain: this was not the kind of talent who should be lingering as Minister of Finance.

Every time we held a welcome party for new Finance Ministry civil servants, the way the newbies' pupils shook madly the instant they saw the Minister was proof that this was not one person's private opinion but the consensus of all mankind. Even at best he looked more suited to be Minister of War or a general; he was far too large a person to fit inside the vessel called Finance Minister. In multiple senses of the word.

"What are you thinking?"

"Just... that you're amazing."

If people heard I worked under someone like that, how would they look at me... They might assume the Audit Department was a gang rather than a government office...

At my rough "amazing" cover story, the Minister showed no particular interest, leaning back in his chair and stroking his chin. Wow. Even the chair looked small now.

"You. You don't have any work assigned lately, right?"

"Well, yeah. If I were holding onto something, it would be work Your Excellency threw at me, so you'd know about it too."

There were plenty of reports coming up from the sections and matters that needed handling, but nothing the Chief himself had to personally seize and push forward. I had almost been forced to run around the field myself over the Golden Duke business at Chief level, but fortunately it had wrapped up at Section 3.

"Hmmmmm..."

"Why? Don't tell ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠me you're trying to dump work on me? But lately there isn't anything for me or Your Excellency to take on, is there?"

"There isn't. There wasn't."

"Why end the sentence with 'there wasn't.' That's ominous."

That meant there was something now. Instinctively seeing a future in which I got thoroughly beaten by dumped work, my expression twisted. But whether I wore a disloyal face right in front of him or not, the Minister paid it no mind.

What is this. Is it really a big deal.

It wasn't like the Minister to stay quiet when I openly displayed dissatisfaction on my face. Instant scolding and a flying fist wouldn't have been strange at all, yet he kept silent. They say no news is the scariest news of all, and this definitely did not feel like ordinary business. Damn it—only a week since cleaning up the Golden Duke mess, and something else had already blown up?

Meanwhile, just as Karl was sunk deep in worry, the Minister was sunk in worry of his own. A matter that needed handling had appeared, yet it was a bit too large for a mere department chief to take on and a bit too small for the Minister himself to go. Of course, if he forced the chief to handle it, the job could be finished somehow—but if things twisted the wrong way, a situation might explode that would force the Minister to rush over in person.

The problem was that these days even the Minister could not casually move his body. If it had been possible, he would have moved long ago without any of this fretting.

Should I leave it to this guy after all.

On the organizational chart Karl was simply one of the department chiefs of the Ministry of Finance. But considering the status of the Audit Department and Karl's personal stature, he could not be regarded as an ordinary department chief. Not quite on the Minister's level, yet clearly a cut above the other chiefs.

"Hey."

"Yes?"

"You said you wanted to go to the Academy, right?"

At those words, Karl's twisted expression smoothed out completely.

At the Minister's words my eyes shot wide open and vitality began to course through my body. Yeah, I had said that often enough. That I wanted to enjoy a simple Academy life instead of this damned civil-servant existence—I had repeated it until my mouth wore thin. Every single time, getting smacked on the back of the head by the Minister telling me to stop talking nonsense had been the daily routine.

Could it be—the angle? The retirement angle?

Then it made perfect sense that the Minister had been worrying like that. Having to release a high-grade talent of my caliber, of course he would deliberate until the very last possible moment. And yet, even so, the Minister had decided to accept the resignation.

In truth I had trusted the Minister. I had never once doubted that beneath that burly body and vicious way of speaking sat a solemn and considerate heart. That was why he had not ignored his subordinate's pitiful pleas and had finally accepted them! Though the time we had spent together was only about four years, those four years had been more meaningful than forty. Damn right. Of course they had.

"Your Excellency the Minister! From long ago, deep in my heart, I have respected Your Excellency!"

At those words the Minister looked at me with an expression that clearly said, "This punk's crazy again," but I paid it no mind. In my heart the Minister had already risen to the position of a hero who had granted my lifelong wish.

"It is regrettable that I must leave Your Excellency's side to live as a mere Academy student, yet I will never forget the four years that felt like forty which I spent with Your Excellency. From the very moment I first met Your Excellency, my time has flowed differently from that of other men. Thus not a mere four years but four years like four hundred years..."

The Minister, who had been watching with complete indifference, half-listened to the retirement declaration as he held out a document he had written.

"Cut the crap and just read this."

"—Thus the four years like four thousand years spent with Your Excellency... What is this? Retirement-pay documents?"

Only then did I stop the ninety-five-article resignation speech and take the paper the Minister offered. Under normal circumstances I would have received it recoiling as if handling radioactive waste, but in my heart the Minister had already ascended to the position of a god who reigned for the sake of the world's order.

"...Huh?"

And with a single sentence that entered my gaze, that god's position began to shake violently.

My trembling pupils turned toward the Minister.

The Minister calmly nodded.

"You wanted to go to the Academy, didn't you. I specially took care of it."

"You crazy bastard! I said I wanted to enroll in the Academy—what kind of lunatic wants to go to the Academy to work!"

But the order had already been written. The Minister of Finance, who oversaw the Ministry of Finance by the Emperor's command, had issued the instruction himself. To refuse without proper cause was a challenge to the Emperor—a challenge to the Empire itself.

If told to do it, you did it. If you didn't like it, you could go to another department. The very karma I had so often cast upon the section chiefs had now returned to me. Of course, I had learned that entire brand of karma from the Minister in the first place. Ultimately losing on every possible justification, I had no choice but to leave the Minister's office holding the order that was, in effect, a slave certificate, all the strength gone from my limbs.

"Real son of a bitch..."

The Minister's position had been revised from god to son of a bitch.