Off on Assignment - 1

"I really hope I just drop dead somewhere out of nowhere."

Thanks to the Minister's vicious little scheme, I had tasted paradise and hell in the same fleeting instant. Barely back in my office, I shoved the remaining documents into a drawer without a second glance.

There was no way I could focus on work in this mood. Wow. Giving something only to snatch it back is the absolute worst, and he just does it like it's nothing.

Of course, the Minister had never once actually promised me retirement.

"I'm heading out first."

"Sir? The workday isn't even over yet. Where are you going?"

"You guys can leave too."

"Flexible hours really are important, after all."

The section chiefs' protests melted the moment I dangled the carrot of early leave. After never even daring to dream of clocking out on time, suddenly getting sent home early must have felt like pure bliss.

Section Chief Two, in particular, looked over the moon as he bolted out first. That bastard really needs sleep—he's going to wander off down some weird path again. For a second I considered dragging him back, then immediately looked away. If I catch him, I have to stay too, and I refuse.

The day after the Audit Department's historic early dismissal.

"Congratulations."

"Congrats."

"Congratulations, sir."

The moment I opened my office door for work, the senior staff had gathered and greeted me with applause. What the hell was this? Some new form of harassment?

"What are you idiots doing?"

"We heard everything. Your wish came true, right?"

"What kind of bullshit is that."

That wish had burned up in the lava of hell just yesterday.

I stared at them with pure indifference. From behind, the Deputy Chief sidled up and gave my shoulder a couple of pats. Then a finger pointed toward empty air. I followed his finger, and squeezed my eyes shut tight.

Two goddamn placards hung there in all their gaudy glory.

"You son of a…"

"Chief, are you… moved?"

"Hehe, we found out late yesterday and scrambled to put them up."

"If something this good was happening, you should've told us first. Isn't this a happy occasion?"

In order: Bastard Two, Bastard One, Bastard Three. I glanced at the Deputy Chief standing behind them; he lowered his head and averted his eyes, looking apologetic for failing to stop them in time. Yeah, this sudden disaster must have blindsided you too. You're the only one I can trust around here.

"…Where's Section Chief Five?"

"Yesterday he said we should throw a celebration party for you, and after that no one's been able to reach him."

"He hasn't even shown up for work yet. My, my, skipping out on such a joyful day."

Great. Section Chief Five could join the "trustworthy" list. Stopping three section chiefs alone was impossible, so he'd chosen to go dark. A reasonably wise decision.

I smiled. Section Chief Two smiled with me. Section Chiefs One and Three grinned and clapped even faster. The Deputy Chief quietly stepped out of the office and closed the door.

Not long after the Deputy Chief shut the door, the sound of something being torn down was followed by three heads slamming into the floor.

"Is it over?"

Section Chief Five approached the Deputy Chief, who was listening through the door to a booming roar that was starting to sound more and more like the Minister. Showing up this fast meant he must have been waiting nearby, watching how things unfolded. Truly excellent situational awareness for an Audit Department section chief. The tragic part was that he was using that skill solely to survive the Department Chief.

"It just started."

"Hmm. Have you eaten?"

"No. I rushed over the moment I heard the news."

"Then you should eat now. This will take at least an hour."

The Deputy Chief glanced at the tightly shut door and nodded. This one definitely wasn't ending quickly. As he walked off with Section Chief Five, a stream of curses that sounded like they were rising from hell itself echoed behind them.

"Are you fuckers even human—!"

Maybe not one hour—more like two. The Deputy Chief offered a silent prayer for the section chiefs' souls and picked up ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠his pace.

Thanks to the three section chiefs' outstanding performance, the Audit Department enjoyed a lively morning. Meanwhile, after two full hours of expressing my deep emotion at the top of my lungs, I was busy massaging the stiff back of my neck. Would my retirement come first, or would I collapse from stress-induced rage first? Truly a fierce chicken race… My chest was getting all petty just thinking about it.

As I sighed, the communication orb on my desk began glowing blue. Blue light… a direct line from the Minister.

Damn it.

Another sigh escaped me. They say sighing drives away good fortune—at this point, was my luck already under lien? How else could my life look like this? Maybe I should go to church and get a blessing. If I put enough in the offering box, maybe my fate would turn around?

"Yes… Audit Department Chief speaking."

—Huh, look who's answering right away for once.

When I touched the orb, the Minister's face popped up above it. The Magic Tower really overdoes it. They could have just made something that carries voices—why invent one that shows faces too? Even before I transmigrated I almost never did video calls.

"Well, I happened to finish what I was doing and was taking a break."

Periodic hierarchy reinforcement with the section chiefs was one of a Department Chief's important duties.

—That so? Perfect timing. Get over to the Minister's office. Urgent business.

"You drop a bomb like yesterday's and now there's more urgent business? Did you leave your personality up north or something?"

—It's related to yesterday, so shut up and come.

And just like that the connection cut out unilaterally. Rank really is a thug. Rank is a thug.

I don't lose in protocol rank anywhere else, you know.

I got joint-kicked by the Minister so casually that even I half-forgot it, but Department Chief is a position that gets respect wherever you go. Even more so when you're a chief in the Ministry of Finance, second-ranked among the Empire's administrative departments. But of course the other party had to be the Minister. Son of a bitch.

"I'm stepping out for a bit."

I gave the Deputy Chief, who was buried in work, a heads-up and headed for the Minister's office. Lately my attendance rate at the Minister's office seemed to be climbing higher and higher; it couldn't just be my imagination. What was so great about a place where the only thing I ever saw was that massive, muscle-bound Minister, that I kept getting dragged there?

"Oh, Audit Department Chief. It's been a while."

That didn't mean I actually wanted to see anyone else, either.

"Your Excellency the Foreign Minister? What brings you here?"

A middle-aged man with a kindly face, the Minister of Foreign Affairs, was having tea with the Minister. When he greeted me warmly I hurriedly bowed, then glared at my own Minister. If another minister was present he could have at least given me a warning.

Under that look of mine, the Minister set his teacup on the table as if to say, "And what exactly do you want me to do about it?"

"He came because there are important matters to convey before you leave on this assignment. A man of his station made a special trip for your sake, so listen gratefully."

"Haha, this is for the sake of the Audit Department Chief who is setting out on a long journey for the Empire. What thanks do I deserve?"

"Please don't gild him too much. He gets full of himself in no time and starts trying to act like an equal."

"Ho, speaking from experience? I'll take that under advisement."

The Foreign Minister chuckled and turned his gaze back to me.

"So, Audit Department Chief. You've been appointed Emergency Inspector to the Academy this time, yes?"

"Yes, that's how it turned out."

"Until now, a section-chief level inspector was more than enough for the Academy assignment by custom. Dispatching a Department Chief means something serious enough to warrant it has occurred. The Finance Minister has explained the basics, I assume."

No, I haven't heard a damn thing.

My eyes moved toward the Minister of their own accord. Yesterday we'd just shouted at each other the whole time, so I'd learned jack shit.

The Minister apparently had nothing to say about that either; he quietly drank his tea and avoided my gaze. Whether he noticed the awkward eye-contact between superior and subordinate or not, the Foreign Minister pulled out a handkerchief, dabbed his forehead, and continued.

"The truth is, this year's Academy freshmen have… a great many problems."

"A great many problems? Has the commoner ratio somehow exceeded half?"

"If it were that, we wouldn't call it a problem. See for yourself."

With that the Foreign Minister handed me the documents he had been holding the entire time.

"A list of persons of interest among this year's incoming students."

"Who on earth would Your Excellency personally label a 'person of interest'?"

I couldn't help but question it. The Academy was the Empire's ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠foremost educational institution and a preliminary social arena, so children of high rank commonly enrolled. Even members of the Imperial Family frequently attended, and the same went for the five great ducal houses below them.

Excluding special cases like myself, the vast majority of the Empire's blue blood entered the Academy. And yet the Foreign Minister had personally come all the way to ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠the Ministry of Finance to call certain people "persons of interest." Were there really figures who warranted that?

I was about to skim the list quickly when my eyes stopped cold. The very first name at the top was extraordinary enough.

1. Ryutis Lovens

I stared at the Foreign Minister, temporarily speechless.

"That… can't be, right?"

"It is exactly the Ryutis you're thinking of."

My brow furrowed hard.

"Why the hell is a prince of Armein crawling into the Academy?"

"If I knew that, do you think I'd be sitting here like this? The Foreign Ministry was turned upside down. We even probed Armein about what in the world was going on; they said the prince's will was so firm they were at a loss themselves."

An answer that helped not at all. I scratched my head irritably and looked down at the name Ryutis. Third prince of the Kingdom of Armein, which boasted national power second only to the Empire on the continent.

There was precedent for foreign students entering the Academy, but never high-ranking figures. Their own countries had educational institutions—what grand experience were they supposedly seeking by coming all the way to the Empire?

"This is insane."

"Don't lose your head already. There's still quite a bit left, isn't there?"

The impact of the first batter had been so strong I'd almost forgotten, but a whole string of names still remained. After belatedly checking the rest, I let out a hollow laugh.

2. Later Ostia

3. Tanian Enes

In order: second prince of the Uven Alliance, and a leading candidate for Next Saint of the Holy Kingdom.

Watching my common sense pack its bags and leave, the Foreign Minister added in a quiet voice whose content still pierced my eardrums.

"Those three are the foreign dignitaries. Domestically, you'll recall that His Highness the Third Prince is also entering this year."

"Yes… I know."

Which made it even more maddening. An imperial prince of the Empire, a prince of the second-strongest nation, a prince of the next-ranking alliance kingdom, and a Next Saint candidate from the Holy Kingdom—whose territory might be small but whose prestige could not be ignored—were all gathering in one place. One decent terrorist attack and the entire continent would go berserk.

"Ah."

So that was why I was going.

I looked at the Minister, who had kept silent until now; he nodded as if to say, Yes, exactly what you're thinking.

"The Academy is nominally absolutely neutral, but it sits right in the middle of Imperial territory and the vast majority of its students are Imperial citizens, so the clause is practically dead letter. That is why Academy security has always been handled by Imperial forces. Recently, however, a portion of the Academy guard has been reassigned to other regions."

The Empire redeploying its own troops was an unassailable right no one could protest. But with the Academy's security forces reduced, the sudden enrollment of key figures from three nations changed everything. From the perspective of three foreign ministries already hypersensitive about the safety of their important personages, learning that the Academy's guard detail was smaller than before would be enough to make them faint.

Of course, if their own key figures simply never enrolled in the Imperial Academy, they wouldn't care whether the guard force was large or small. But for reasons no one could fathom, the three of them had dug in their heels and forced their way in. And so the civil servants—mere tools for realizing the will of their betters—had to make that will happen somehow. As a result, swallowing the diplomatic discourtesy, the three nations had declared their intention to send their own troops to the Imperial Academy.

Sending foreign troops onto Imperial soil, into an Imperial educational institution? Even the three foreign ministries must have suffered severe mental whiplash doing it. But what choice did they have? If the princes and the saint-candidate were going no matter what, ensuring their safety took absolute priority. Royal safety ranked above diplomatic propriety.

Naturally the Foreign Ministry had first refused flat-out, telling them not to talk nonsense. What lunatic would want foreign soldiers on their own soil? Yet the three foreign ministries, blinded by the ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠need to secure their important personages, had been truly desperate.

Faced with declarations dripping with every diplomatic flourish—"If you just yield on this one thing, we'll make major concessions elsewhere!"—the Empire had finally agreed to allow a small escort force from each of the three nations to protect their students, on the condition that full rosters of those forces be submitted.

"There was a lot of talk about how we would handle the chaos from a sudden vacuum, even if the trend of reducing Academy security forces was already underway. Then the three nations said they would send troops and even pay for them. Since we couldn't stop the enrollments anyway, we accepted gladly."

"And once foreign forces are stationed inside the Academy, a war of nerves is inevitable. If the people responsible for royal escorts start throwing their weight around, the Academy faculty won't be able to handle them. Conveniently, this is exactly the season when we dispatch an inspector to the Academy. With this year's freshmen being so glittering, the donations pouring in have been incomparable, so we have the perfect pretext to send someone of Department Chief rank."

Under the one-two punch from the Foreign Minister and the Minister of Finance, I couldn't manage a single rebuttal. No civil servant, whoever was sent, could negotiate directly with royalty. That meant most of the talking would be done with the escort forces below them—and the point was to crush them with the authority of a Department Chief's rank.

I understood. I saw the necessity too.

The problem was that I was the one who had to do it.

Was this an academy novel all along?

Man, man, man—crossing national borders and forcing their way into the Academy. All in the same year. That meant the Academy was going to be the main stage. The invisible hand of the Creator was clearly herding the protagonists into the Academy.

Fuck. The free chapters never mentioned the Academy, so I just figured whatever. Who could have known, looking only at the childhood scenes in the free chapters, that it would head to the Academy?

As I silently spat curses inside my head, the Minister walked over and clapped my shoulder.

"Whenever it gets hard, just think of it this way: if you screw up, the Foreign Ministry explodes."

Wow. That really fills me with motivation.

After that I had no choice but to scramble through preparations for the Academy assignment.

I got a transmigration, but no regression? If I could just go back exactly four years, that would be perfect.