Kidnapped by the Demon King Minister
The chief princess who had been kidnapped by the demon king known as the Minister escaped under her own power and returned.
"I'm back."
"You've returned? It finished faster than last time."
"Looks like the old man's stamina has dropped a bit. That's why he ought to keep his temper in check on ordinary days."
While I answered the Deputy Chief, the four Section Chiefs who had been sitting with him started to rise. I waved them back down into their seats.
"Ah, forget it. No need to stand on ceremony."
"When you're the one taking the heat from the Minister in our place, we at least have to do this much."
"You son of a bitch, get up right now."
The Second Section Chief who had just provoked the Chief, and the Chief who tried to crush him with raw authority in retaliation. It was a complete circus, yet they seemed so used to it that they snickered and settled back into their places. Only after I took the seat of honor did the five offer a bow of the head. I nodded in return and checked the faces gathered around the table.
Deputy Chief, First Section Chief, Second Section Chief, Third Section Chief, Fifth Section Chief. Good. Everyone was here.
"All right, my dear slaves. Quitting time is right around the corner, yet I must express my deep regret for gathering you like this."
"I've got a date planned. Is this urgent?"
"With those words just now, you're confirmed for night duty."
"Fuck."
The Second Section Chief, who had opened his mouth for nothing and only lost his stake, sank into silence. I shook the single sheet of paper in my hand. This was the culprit that had dragged me all the way to the Minister's office, the reason an emergency call had gone out to the entire executive team right before quitting time. On the way over I had suppressed the urge to tear it to shreds more times than I could count.
"See this?"
"I don't know about the rest, but the Minister's seal is crystal clear."
"What's the content? It's been ages since all the executives were in one room."
"Your masterpiece that stole two precious hours from the Chief."
Whish—the document went flying. As if it were the perfect embodiment of my twisted feelings, it danced through the air before landing squarely in the center of the table.
Only then could the executives read the contents, and as if they had rehearsed it, they all awkwardly averted their eyes. The Deputy Chief let out a sigh that sounded like his insides were rupturing. The Section Chiefs either cleared their throats or fixed murderous glares on dust motes floating in the air so they would not have to meet my gaze.
"Who led the hit on House Yorun?"
I murmured the question in a low voice while savoring the spectacle. It was exactly like parents delivering an ultimatum: If you tell the truth right now, I'll let it slide.
"Uh… I did it."
The Third Section Chief, who had been carefully reading the room, raised his hand with extreme caution. I answered the obediently confessing criminal with a gentle smile.
"You will bang your head on the floor while you speak."
"Yes…"
Of course everyone knew that answering the ultimatum did not actually earn you a free pass. But everyone also knew that refusing to answer and holding out meant what came next would be truly unendurable. The Third Section Chief swallowed his tears, stood, and slammed his forehead into the floorboards. The other Section Chiefs studiously looked elsewhere and prayed the sparks would not fly their way.
Officially the Third Section Chief had led the operation, but in reality every Section Chief had piled on together and torn the target apart. Since I knew that full well, I glared at them all with heated eyes before letting out a long sigh.
"My dear slave sirs. The work we do is the role of hunting dogs, but if we really bite anyone without looking ahead or behind, then at that point we can no longer call you dear slaves. We have to start calling you dear sons of bitches."
The department I led was the Audit Department under the Empire's Ministry of Finance—an institution that could wield absolute power with only the Minister of Finance and the Emperor as its official superior commanders.
And the name by which it was openly known was exactly what I had just used: hunting dogs. A pack of lunatics who monitored every flow of money, kept watch the moment even a single coin of imperial budget was involved, and the instant illegal movement was detected, smashed skulls without hesitation.
The prestige of the Audit Department was so considerable that people openly wondered whether it was safe to leave such an organ under the Minister of Finance rather than making it a direct imperial agency.
And because of that considerable prestige, the moment you chose the wrong target to bite, you got beaten from every direction as if the entire empire had been waiting for the chance.
"This time, when House Yorun suddenly had their wrists cut off, quite a few contracts went down with them."
"A regrettable matter."
"Because of that incident, the Golden Duke expressed his concern to the Minister."
"……."
The Deputy Chief, who had kept silent until then, flinched hard at the words Golden Duke and turned a murderous stare on the Third Section Chief still glued to the floor. He had known that one count family had been wrecked by a badly chosen target, but that the Golden Duke was connected to it was news to him. Had he known earlier, the Deputy Chief would have offered the Section Chiefs up as sacrifices long before the Minister ever summoned me.
"…Then what exactly did the Golden Duke say…?"
"You know that man goes completely insane over money, right? Rather than punishing whoever is responsible, he wants monetary compensation."
"I already have a list of the families competing with the Golden Duke's faction. Which section should I hand it to?"
"Third Section."
At those words the Third Section Chief, who had been steadily becoming one with the floorboards, finally rose. My gaze on him was still far from kind, but what else could I do? Work like this was exactly what the Third Section was built for.
"You clean up your own shit, right?"
"Yes, yes, of course."
"The Golden Duke isn't the type to make a big fuss once the losses are covered, so handle it well."
"I will never forget this incident and will be careful."
"Good. Get out."
The Third Section Chief bowed at the waist and fled the Chief's office at a speed that suggested he was terrified I might change my mind and grab him again. A guy built like a mountain with muscles that looked carved from rock, yet there were times I wondered whether he had dumped every single stat point into agility. Maybe having no brain meant less wind resistance?
"The rest of you be careful too. If something like this happens again, prepare yourselves for your entire sections to be disassembled mid-air."
I waved a hand in dismissal. The Section Chiefs who had been sitting on pins and needles finally escaped. Once they reached their own offices the downward scolding would begin in earnest. But what did I care? If they had simply done their jobs properly in the first place, none of this would have been necessary.
When I first took office everyone had been careful even of falling leaves and had triple-checked every document before moving forward. These days the kids were slack, never properly tense, and their work left a lot to be desired…
"This fucking…"
"What's wrong?"
"Nothing. Just remembered something old."
The Deputy Chief, who had been about to leave, turned at my voice. I forced a smile and shooed him out again. Then I recoiled in horror at how naturally my thoughts had stretched into pure old-fogey territory.
Four years of civil-servant life had ruined my once-fresh self this thoroughly…! I was only twenty-one. How much dark evolution was I planning to undergo over the next several decades to already be thinking such hideous things!
Should I just grab the budget and run for real?
That would certainly end my civil-servant career, but it would also end my life. No matter how solid my family backing was, if the Audit Department Chief embezzled budget funds, it was a hanging offense for the crime of lèse-majesté alone.
I had gone through the trouble of possessing this body only to get a death-by-embezzlement ending? That was simply too ugly no matter how I looked at it. I had not endured this long just to receive that kind of finale.
I turned toward the window behind me. The sun was already sinking. The meeting had ended faster than expected, yet because I had summoned everyone right before quitting time, even that short interval had pushed us past the official end of the day.
With this, today had become "The Day I Re-Achieved Forty Consecutive Failures to Leave on Time." With whom exactly was I supposed to share this joy…
Because a duke had been involved, the Third Section's tearful ass-kissing performance combined with the guilty-footed voluntary cooperation of the other sections allowed the situation to be resolved smoothly. The Minister even dropped a quiet tip that the Golden Duke had looked quite satisfied after about four families competing with his faction had been quietly removed this time.
I had already been timing when to blow those houses away. Now a reason that made their destruction mandatory had appeared, so what was left to hold me back? Hearing the report of them being wiped out as if someone had just carved through a lifelong nemesis filled me with an almost rhythmic excitement. If they could perform this well when they put their minds to it, why the hell had they done the original thing in the first place?
"…And so, some of the assets seized this time were transferred to House Yorun. We washed them a few times before handing them over, so there should be no problems later."
A few days later, at the meeting that reconvened, I clapped in genuine satisfaction at the excellent results. See? When our kids decide to do something, they do it well.
"As expected, the Third Section Chief's shining intellect never fails to inspire admiration."
"Chief, previously you said that bastard Third Section Chief's head only shines so much you wanted to get rid of it."
"Shut your mouth."
"Hiiing…"
I cut off the First Section Chief's untimely interjection with absolute firmness. Reactionary elements who tried to destroy the trust and friendship between superior and subordinate would not be forgiven!
The First Section Chief's sudden internal exposure; the Second Section Chief casually running a hand through his abundant hair while snickering; the Fifth Section Chief quietly contemplating the Third Section Chief's shining hea—no, intellect. The Third Section Chief trembled with pure dread at the unexpected public roasting.
The First Section Chief who had caused the entire mess merely tilted his head as if he could not understand why the Third Section Chief looked so traumatized. That complete absence of malice made him even more lethal.
As the meeting topic began to drift toward "Since when has the Third Section Chief been bald?", I rapped the table a few times to gather everyone's attention.
"Stop teasing the guy who just came back from actual work."
"Only the Chief and the First Section Chief said anything. We didn't open our mouths."
"Follicle-gifted bugs are teasing material for bald people just by existing."
"Whoa, I didn't know that."
"Geureumheu…"
Damn it. I had meant to stop the conversation, yet I had only made it run further.
"Anyway, Third Section Chief, you worked hard. But you understand this time was lucky, right?"
"Yes, well, the materials needed for the operation were already prepared, so we could move quickly."
"Not that. If we were going to get caught by a duke, the Golden Duke is the better option."
"Ah."
As if in full agreement, the Third Section Chief nodded. It was always best never to get involved with dukes at all, but if you absolutely had to get involved, the Golden Duke was the least terrible choice. Among the Empire's five dukes, he was the only one who came anywhere close to being a normal person. The other four were not human in a wide variety of meaningful ways.
"If any section ends up tangled with another duke, I will personally take the lead and offer you up as a gift, so don't worry."
"Ehh, that actually worries me so fucking much though?"
"If you don't like it, transfer to another department. If you can transfer."
I heard someone mutter "fucking Chief bastard," but I paid it no mind. I cursed the Minister bastard often enough myself.
Of course I never did it where he could hear me. Second Section Chief—you're on night duty again today.