089 – Fluffy Ghosts Only Like Me #3
The exploration of Pandora Market's North Gate went far too smoothly for my liking—unfortunately.
"This necklace! The nymphs would absolutely adore this design!"
Jingling jingling.
Crowzer darted into an abandoned jewelry shop and snatched a golden necklace off a mannequin. Elfridi, the married elf lady, stuffed her pockets full of precious gems while cackling, "Hee hee hee."
"Joey, I thought you were just a big talker, but damn, you're the real deal! Is it because you're tight with Hestia's little sister? She's got that innate connection to the spirit world, after all. Gods are such weirdos."
An elf still felt pretty exotic to someone like me, who hadn't fully shaken off the 21st-century worldview. But I kept my mouth shut—commenting on that might count as sexual harassment against elf sensibilities. As I'd said a million times, anything tied to scandals like that could mean worse than firing. I might end up turned into one of those hideous hell cockroaches.
After cramming her pockets with loot for a good while, Elfridi pulled out a map. She pointed to a spot, but the writing was too small for me to make out.
"A few more corners from here, and we'll hit the North Gate's auction house. It's crawling with evil spirits—no one's dared go near it. But the odds are high that's where my item's hiding."
"What exactly are you looking for, elf lady?"
Crowzer beat me to the question I'd been avoiding.
Elfridi's red eyes gleamed with a sinister light.
"Everyone blames Business Renewal for this market's downfall. But the truth? It started right here at the North Gate—and it nailed the coffin shut. Details are censored, so who knows what went down."
Censorship. The more I learned about Pandora Market, the more that word kept popping up.
"Why would merchants handling treasures like these bolt without grabbing their stock? Why are evil spirits swarming this place? Here's my theory."
Point. She jabbed the map at the auction house again.
"Something huge happened in that auction house, where the evil spirits are thickest. And if it involved some kind of item? It had to pack serious power."
"Ooooh! Snag that, and fame and strength come rushing in! This Crowzer's name will echo across the world once more!"
Fame boost? If something like that existed, I sure as hell wasn't touching it. But sketchy vibes aside, I spotted something off in her story.
"If that item really caused the market's collapse like you say, wouldn't it be smarter to steer clear?"
Merchants fleeing without their goods? Whatever tragedy hit could repeat anywhere. I voiced my concern, and Elfridi snorted.
"Scared?"
"Nah. Kinda makes me wanna dive in."
An item that wrecked Soul Society's busiest market? Grabbing that would twist my career into knots easy. My mood lifted as she pocketed the map.
"But it's just a hypothesis. We'll know for sure when we check it out. Break's over—let's move."
# # #
Sure enough, evil spirits packed the path to the auction house. Of course, with me leading, they parted like the Red Sea.
Hooo... hooo...!
Hoooo...!
My stomach churned a bit. My plan to be a total nuisance on this party hunt(?) was fizzling out.
"Elf fire!"
Whoosh!
Hell cockroaches popped up here and there, but Elfridi roasted them crisp with a burst from her staff's tip. No room for me to screw things up.
"I heard Prince Zagreus's wives were legendary adventurers and heroes back on earth. And yeah, it shows. That elf's magic rivals Circe or even her mentor Hecate."
Circe was the famous witch from Greek myth; Hecate, her teacher, the goddess of magic. To Crowzer, Elfridi matched a goddess of magic. That was the problem.
I'd meant to keep competent people at arm's length.
No choice now but to hit the auction house and find that 'special item.'
I pushed through the fluffy ghosts into the auction house. It was round like a coliseum, seats encircling a central stage—more theater than auction block, really. Fitting, since Crowzer, who'd trod more stages than most, lit up with interest.
"Theater-style layout. Looks like this place offered more than buying and selling—entertainment for the crowd, too... Ooooh! That!"
Crowzer jolted in shock. He grabbed a weird vase and beamed.
"This has sheet music etched by the Muse goddesses! Thought it was lost forever—never dreamed it'd be here! With this score, this Crowzer can rise as the greatest bard again!"
The Muses ruled music and arts—Orpheus's mom and aunts, in English. Crowzer's eyes sparkled.
"My brother Joey! Thanks to you, I found this gem amid our perilous quest! Your name will shine in the masterpiece I'll compose!"
A song from Crowzer, reborn as Orpheus via his mom and aunts' inspiration, with my name in it? No! I had to stop that!
"Crowzer! Dangerous!"
"Wh-what are you—?!"
Crash!
I lunged at him, snatched the vase, and smashed it on the floor.
"Aaaagh! My muse! That could've bankrolled a century of lounging! I even mapped the sales route! Joey! What the hell?!"
Wait, you were gonna sell it anyway? My conscience stung a little less.
But then...
Hiss hiss...
"Gah! Snakes from the broken vase!"
Just like Crowzer yelped—a snake burst out. Blood-red eyes, pitch-black scales—like Satan's serpent.
"Th-that's a fire serpent! Bites wound the soul itself—a mythical beast! Who'd have thought it'd nest in there? If I'd grabbed it clueless..."
Shiver.
Crowzer trembled in terror.
"Joey! You saved me! You're my lifesaver!"
This was getting ridiculous. Worse, the snake—pissed at losing its home—hissed threats, scales bristling.
Elfridi raised her staff. "Everyone, careful! Don't get bit!"
Hiss hiss hiss.
Very noisy, that snake. And sure enough...
"It says put the staff down—it doesn't wanna hurt us."
"Huh? What'd it say?"
"Joey, you understand snake?"
Snake tongue. After headaches with snakes and hydras lately, I'd studied it in spare moments—enough to get by.
Hiss-hiss-hiss-extra-hiss.
"What was that? Sounded like curses to this Crowzer."
"It just wants to sleep peacefully. Says leave the auction house quick. It'll grant a wish if we do."
Seemed like a snake who'd holed up here amid the evil spirits. Maybe it knew about our 'item'—truth or not, location?
"Shhh. Ooh, shhh."
I asked. The snake nodded, slithered off fluidly. We followed to the auction house basement—a warehouse crammed with junk.
Gape. Crowzer gawked, eyes wide in awe and shock.
"These treasures... Sell one, and you're set for life. As an artist, this Crowzer has a keen eye for value."
Finally, the snake stopped before a mysterious object.
Round like a gem, floating midair. Blood-red glow, ruby-cut, thumbnail-sized.
Shiiiine.
But it blazed so fiercely—like a mini sun or radioactive hunk.
"That's it! The thing I sought! Power radiates off it. Enough energy to obliterate the North Gate. Mount it on my staff—"
Elfridi beamed, her red eyes mad with greed.
Crowzer matched her glee. "That's this Crowzer's! With it, I'll rule beyond art— the world itself! My treasure! My precious! Haaah!"
Over-the-top reactions. They lunged for the gem together.
"Mine!"
"This is mine!"
They tangled in a shameful scrum. Inspiration struck me.
I'll jump in the mud fight too!
Joey, greedy and disgraceful—perfect ring to it!
"It's mine!"
I feigned lust-crazed eyes and dove in. But as my hand reached—
Crack!
Far softer than it looked—like hardened sugar. It shattered in my grip, leaving a rice-grain speck of white light. Like a fallen star.
"Wh-what did I...?"
"This Crowzer blacked out too."
Elfridi and Crowzer snapped back. Problem.
"Joey! You saw that evil gem tempting me, losing my mind—and smashed it? Willpower against greed like that! You're incredible!"
"Even I lost it. Not bad, Joey."
Damn, not the ending I wanted!
This useless gem—
Fling.
I tossed the speck skyward. A drifting evil spirit snatched it midair.
Hooo hooo...!
Hooo....
Then the miracle: Its form shifted, shrinking to a small boy.
"I'm... back? From that hate-filled evil spirit body! You saved me! What's your name, my soul's benefactor?!"
Evil spirits shedding ghostification for full souls? Impossible, as far as I knew. Even Alcestis needed exec shares pooled just to pause hers temporarily.
A ghostification cure. Crowzer rubbed his arms.
"Chills, brother Joey. Did you predict this...? Reversing that curse—greatest discovery ever!"
"Joey! So that's your name! I'll never forget this debt! But I gotta go somewhere... Take this humble thanks!"
The boy pulled hell onions from somewhere, handing me bundles.
"Nureongi!"
He bolted off. Whatever—my plan was toast.
"Nyaaagh!"
Clutching the onions, I screamed and fled home.