The Acting Vice Guild Master's Stumbling Debut
I decide to think positively about botching the announcement. I've become the "acting" vice guild master for the currently vacant position—in other words, just a temporary stand-in. I'm by no means officially appointed. The guild master probably still doesn't fully trust me. When you think about it, I'm the most senior receptionist left, so it's only natural I'd handle something like this. So, this doesn't mean I'm any more deeply entangled with the guild, right?
"Since there's no predecessor to hand things over, I'll tell you a few things the vice guild master needs to know."
"Y-yes……."
Guild Master Veronica has brought me into her office and sat me down. When we first met, she was just a slender beauty, but now, clad in that blood-red exoskeleton armor, she looks like a complete monster. Especially those massive, vicious arms formed from the exoskeleton, in addition to her original two—they're downright intimidating.
"First off, the vice guild master position is known to have three slots, but that's not actually true. You seem to know that already."
"Yes, there's one more. Natalia-nim……."
I thought she was just another guild member wandering around unnoticed. But because Natalia signed off on my appointment as vice guild master, things ended up like this.
"Natalia is my assassin. She strikes when monsters aren't the target—when it's people. If the situation calls for it, you move her as well."
"Y-yes, yes……."
The "situation that calls for it" probably means when someone tries to run from the guild.
"And about your duties."
"Eek."
Veronica tosses an envelope stuffed with documents my way. I fumble it awkwardly and barely manage to catch it.
"Reports on Labyrinth City's news will come to you every day. You sort that information and announce it every evening at the guild tavern."
"Ah, yes, got it."
This was the routine announcement the previous administrative vice guild master handled. It's necessary to inform adventurers of things to watch out for during their activities—like a con artist posing as a client, or a threatening monster appearing on a specific floor of the Great Labyrinth. Until now, with no vice guild master, it had been neglected, but from today, acting stand-in me would take it over.
"I don't hate your girly male demeanor, but it worries me. Announcements must be delivered with confident poise. Only then will all the adventurers recognize you as their superior and actually listen instead of tuning out."
"Yes……."
"……Also, keep the content simple and clear enough for a child to understand. Not every adventurer's skull is filled solely with muscle."
"Understood."
"Frankly, I still don't trust you. That's why even with full vice guild master consensus, I didn't appoint you officially. Prove me wrong with today's announcement. A man who can't even handle one presentation has no place in my guild."
"……Yes."
"Then go."
I bow to the guild master, clutch the document envelope to my chest, and step out into the hallway. Convinced that a new opportunity has arisen, I flash a triumphant smile.
This time, she'll definitely kick me out……!
She said she'd expel me from the guild if I botch the announcement—her words carried that clear intent. And I don't even need to prepare anything special for it. I'm terrible at presentations to begin with! Even in my past life, speaking in front of crowds left me trembling, my voice a timid squeak. Would these bold, imposing female adventurers pay any mind to some tiny man mumbling up front? Once they see my pathetic display, the guild master might personally hurl me out with those monstrous arms.
After finishing their daily work, adventurers without special plans gather at the guild tavern to eat, drink, and get rowdy. By evening, nearly every guild member is there unless something comes up. That's why vice guild master announcements happen at night.
"Everyone, could you pay attention here for a sec?"
Vice Guild Master Helen climbs onto the central platform in the tavern, drawing the guild members' eyes.
"You've all been inconvenienced without announcements, right? It happened because a vice guild master spot opened up suddenly, but luckily, we have someone to cover the duties starting today."
"Nah, it wasn't that bad……."
"Do we really gotta listen……?"
There were no announcements, but the info was always posted on the guild bulletin board anyway. Those who cared would read it regardless, and the rest wouldn't bother whether it was announced or posted.
"Give a warm welcome! Acting Vice Guild Master Vivi!"
"Oh! Vivi?!"
"Vivi! Vivi! Vivi!"
I'm Vivaldi, not Vivi. For some reason, the guild members erupt in enthusiastic cheers. They love teasing me anyway, so they're probably treating it like a clown taking the stage.
"Come on up."
"They're all waiting for you."
"Eh……."
I didn't even ask for help, but the female guild staff working the tavern grab my arms and drag me up onto the platform with them.
"Just read this."
"You got this, Vivi."
"Eek……."
As I reach the platform, Helen sidles up close beside me, holding the announcement sheets. Another guild member presses in from the other side, stroking my back encouragingly. Subtly, from both flanks, their ample breasts squash against my face. My cheeks burn like they've been scorched. The fragrant scent dizzies my head; I can't even remember why I'm up here. There was some plan, some strategy—what was it again…….
Half out of my mind, I start reading the words on the paper.
"I-I'm Vivaldi, t-taking on acting vice guild master d-duties……."
"Wooo! Yeah! That's it! Having that wilted little guy announce every day was killing my buzz!"
"Vivi! Your voice is so cute!"
"It's a night for craving that fresh lower belly!"
As everyone shouts at me, my spirit crumbles, and I hang my head. I can't tear my gaze from the paper to escape their stares.
"F-First item…… R-recently, reports of damage from the Monster Protection Association's activities have been s-sharp-ly increasing……."
"Aaaah?! Can't hear ya!"
"Hey hey! Who's that adorable squeak for?!"
"E-eh……."
A few female adventurers complain and approach the platform, and suddenly the rest swarm over too. Caught off guard and terrified, I can only huddle like a small animal.
"It's okay, they're just messing around. You're doing great, Vivi. Now, keep reading?"
Helen whispers kindly, pointing to the next line with her finger. I barely regain my composure and move my lips again.
"S-sharp-ly increasing…… The guild leadership is fully aware of the issue's severity and……."
"Vivi! Your face is all sour!"
"Smile a bit! Like this—will that make you laugh?"
"Th-this isn't just Tragodia's problem, it's, hehe, th-that tickles……!"
Finally, someone climbs onto the platform and pokes fingers into my armpits. The others follow, packing the stage.
"Why are you shaking so much? Buck up!"
"A vice guild master needs to stand tall!"
"N-not vice guild master, just acting…… hehe, I said it tickles……!"
"Males are so squishy, huh?"
"Why's your frame so skinny?"
They knead my body all over, as if trying to pep me up. I twist away from the tickling, but they don't stop.
"Since it's a problem for all of Labyrinth City…… we've set up a meeting with other guilds to, heek, discuss countermeasures and…… hehe, coordinate……!"
"Oh, really?"
"S-so, please wait for the results…… *cough*, *hack*……!"
I've barely finished the first item, and I'm already exhausted. The guild members around me seem to have had their fun, and the mood settles a bit. I look up to see Guild Master Veronica and Vice Guild Master Kali watching from afar. My pathetic spectacle must be beyond belief—their faces are flushed beet red.
The guild master calls me to her office, saying she has words about yesterday's announcement. Veronica isn't wearing her armor. She just sits there with her face buried in her hands as I take a seat in front of her. She probably didn't expect my performance to be that bad.
"……."
"……."
"G-Guild Master……?"
"Ah, right……."
I want to hear her tell me to get out of the guild already, but she's silent for so long that I speak first. Her face is bright red—must be furious.
"Sorry…… Your image from yesterday keeps replaying in my mind…… It was…… impressive…… announcement……."
"I-is that so? I'm sorry."
"Sorry……?"
"For being so…… pathetic during the presentation……."
"Ah, a-ah. Yes. Not what I expected…… But it boosted guild morale quite effectively…… And their grasp of the announcements improved…… You just took a different path from me, but toward the same goal……."
"……Pardon?"
I have no idea what she's saying, but it doesn't sound like she's calling me here to kick me out. Looks like this plan failed too…….
"B-by the way. That…… announcement. How about a private demo for me beforehand next time……?"
"Pardon?"
"Ah, no. I misspoke."