Let's Avoid the Guild Master
A draining, depressing morning. Even the morning sun seems reluctant to rise, as if it wants to sleep in a bit longer. But guild receptionists have to clock in as early as possible. If we're late preparing for the day, clients will head to other guilds instead, and that'll mean losses for us.
Plus, I heard today is the day the guild master herself is coming to check on my work. After all, I've just been promoted to vice guild master with the approval of two others. She's planning to see with her own eyes if I'm really up to the task. Which means I have to work even harder than usual, putting in extra...
No. I just won't do it, right?
I almost got swept up in the moment and turned into the ever-diligent receptionist Vivaldi again. My goal is to get kicked out of the guild, isn't it? On a day when I need to show more dedication than ever, what if I just no-show? What would happen?
She wouldn't kill me... would she?
It's a crazy guild that murders people just for trying to desert. Committing this kind of rudeness right in front of the guild master might put my life in danger. ...No, I have to do at least this much. It dawns on me that I've been too cautious up until now. To overcome the threats of overwork death or execution looming before me, maybe I need to steel myself for the worst.
Guess I'll sleep more!
I let my forcibly roused body go limp again, sinking back into the cozy embrace of my pillow and blankets. Closing my eyes at the exact time I should be getting up fills me with an immense sense of sinful indulgence.
......In my half-dreaming haze, I think I glimpse the guild master's figure.
......I'm just a lowly receptionist, so I've only seen her from afar a few times, but she's huge and terrifying.
BAM! A massive thud jolts me awake in a panic. The front door is dented inward from the outside, rattling on its hinges. Trembling like a frightened rabbit, I creep over cautiously and peer out. The door's so badly damaged I can see outside without even opening it.
A woman...?
A strikingly tall, elegant beauty, pure white from head to toe, is slumped against my door. Her outfit reveals smooth, bare legs, and she's barefoot, no shoes in sight.
"Ugh......"
"U-um, are you okay?"
"......Cough. What a pity. It seems my fall wrecked your door."
"Uh, um......"
I couldn't muster the courage to complain. If she can half-demolish a door just by tripping, she could probably crumple me up and toss me in the trash without breaking a sweat.
"I'll compensate you...... ugh...... where's my wallet...... dizzy......"
"N-no, I'm fine, so please just rest and recover first......"
"Bleeech......"
She keeps looking woozy, and sure enough, she hurls up a rainbow-colored mess right in front of my house.
"Hah, hah...... To show such an unsightly display before a mere man......"
She wipes her mouth with her arm and looks up. Her hair and skin are white, but her eyes gleam a deep crimson. Her face looks utterly exhausted.
"......A humiliating request, but might thou aid this body? It seems the wine I drank last night was poisoned."
"What?! Th-then we need to get you to a hospital—"
If she's poisoned, we need emergency treatment ASAP. I move to support her, but she waves me off.
"Touch me not, thou man. A simple hangover cure will suffice. Hast thou perchance some warm food to offer? I shall reward thee generously."
"Ah, uh...... sure...... Come in? Huh, it won't open."
"......Such frail arms."
The door was too busted to budge, but she stands, yanks it open effortlessly. She's pretty tall, too. From her words, she seems to despise men intensely, so I avoid all contact, keep my mouth shut, and guide her silently to the table. I head to the kitchen and heat up some chilled broth—pig stock I'd simmered with various ingredients whenever I had time. I'd tried recreating pork bone stew from my past life out of nostalgia, but it didn't taste quite right, though it was decent enough.
I turn off the heat once it starts boiling vigorously and ladle some into a bowl for her.
"Hm. Modern men are so frivolous, distasteful. But thou art quite modest. That's the flavor a male should have."
"Ahaha......"
She props one arm on the table wearily, grabs the bowl with the other, and slurps it down.
"......Foo. A fine hangover remedy. Hot and rich. The fat invigorates the body. Hast thou more?"
"Y-yes, of course."
She seems to love my pork stew, demanding refills until the whole pot is empty.
"Fuuu...... Lad, ever thought of opening a restaurant? This could really take off."
"Who knows. Not sure if everyone would like it as much as you......"
She leans back in her chair, staring right at me. Her complexion is already much improved.
"Thou lackest confidence. Even a frail man must have faith in himself."
"R-right."
"Dost thou feel overrated in daily life? Thinkest thou thy skills are modest, yet others praise thee excessively?"
Is she some cultist or fortune teller? What's the intent behind these vague questions?
"Uh...... why do you ask..."
"Answer without prattle."
Her attitude is incredibly condescending, dismissive of men, but what could a weak guy like me do? Piss her off, and I might end up like my door. And honestly, it didn't feel that bad.
"Yeah, pretty much...... I just learned to read and write early, that's all, but whenever something I do works out by chance, everyone makes way too big a deal out of it......"
Her question dredged up memories of the guild. The members overhype me way too much.
"Doth it burden thee? Thinkest thou it hath thrust an ill-fitting role upon thee?"
I nod quietly. Sure, it's burdensome, but more than that, I feel aggrieved. Why does everything I try to screw up end up succeeding? Why can't I just get expelled and instead find myself on the brink of vice guild master?
"Thou...... art different from the men I've seen thus far. Not at all what thy looks suggest. With such a pretty face, thou couldst flutter thy lashes like a whore and solve many woes."
"I-is that so."
I'm still not used to this world's views on men and women. My thoughts and actions might differ from the typical male here. Though even by my past life's standards, I wasn't exactly manly.
"......Then, I must take my leave. Follow me."
"Pardon?"
"Did I not say I would reward thee? This body keeps its word."
No, I figured she'd hand over cash or equivalent right here. I wanted to sleep more, not trail after her for it. But defying an absolute powerhouse? No way. I quietly get ready and follow.
"Ah, with the door like this, leaving the house empty will be troublesome."
Watching her yank the dented door straight with a creak, my judgment feels confirmed.
"......"
"......"
She barely speaks as we walk. But something feels off. The path we're on is exactly my usual commute route. Soon, the Tragodia Guild hall comes into view, and sure enough, she's heading straight there. So much for my no-show plan—it shrinks to mere tardiness.
"Oh my, didn't expect you two to arrive together?"
"Hm. It came to pass."
Helen, passing by, greets us casually, as if she knew this woman was coming. Her friendly vibe stirs a bad premonition in me.
"Did you two chat a bit?"
"I know not else, but he seems no frivolous man."
"Right? This auntie told you. He's not like the men you think. And he's adorably cute, no? Honestly, your type?"
"......Silence."
No, it can't be. Absolutely not.
"Receptionist Vivaldi."
The moment she calls my name—without me ever telling her—my blood runs ice-cold.
Crack, crack.
Blood-red energy erupts from her body, morphing into a dark-crimson exoskeleton that envelops her. Slender as she is, her height makes her imposing once the blood-armor covers her, bulked up massively. The vicious figure etched in my memory.
"To be frank, I visited thy home to tell thee thou needst not come to work henceforth. Men take all lightly, shirk responsibility yet crave power."
"A-ah......?"
I'm so flustered, only half-formed sounds escape my lips.
"Yet at least with thee, I sensed the weight of great duty. I shall observe further. In the name of Tragodia Guild Master Veronica, I recognize thee as 'acting' vice guild master for the vacant position."
I want to scream, but my body goes limp, silencing me completely.