Superluminal Secrets and the Unmelting Lollipop
It was too vast and beautiful a candy to call it mere bribery. …………… Dr. Stein chuckled dryly in agreement.
"My word, what a long and grandiose name. Must be from quite the esteemed family. You must've had a tough journey getting here."
Jenica bristled at his nonchalant attitude, her hackles rising instead.
"Let me make this clear upfront: I have zero intention of divulging any secrets about my species."
Impressive. She didn't seem like the same girl who'd been squirming on Yeom Hana's shoulder just moments ago. If she weren't in that tracksuit, she might've looked downright convincing.
"Oh? Ah, you're under a misunderstanding, miss."
Dr. Stein waved it off lightly.
"I already know the rough biological traits of Kepler-442b intelligences and their civilization's details. We've got some celestial observation experts on our side."
"……Lies."
"A monarchy ruled by a single queen with absolute power. Most of the population lives on the homeworld Kepler-442b, and they're running a satellite terraforming project via orbital elevators. Right?"
Jenica's mouth clamped shut. In that instant, the flavor of her emotions shifted. The puffed-up pride she'd been faking deflated like it'd been doused in ice water, cooling to a chill.
Jenica, you're scared.
The old man from what she dismissed as a primitive civilization knew her species' political system and long-cherished projects. Must've hit her like a truck.
Jenica fell silent for minutes on end. Dr. Stein seemed to give her time to compose herself.
"Shall we get to the point?"
A note of seriousness entered Dr. Stein's voice for the first time.
"Superluminal navigation tech—do you know anything about it, miss? The principles, maybe some clues?"
Dr. Stein's emotions reached even me up on the ceiling. Intensely resolute. Depending on Jenica's answer, things could go south.
In the suffocating pressure, Jenica's golden eyes blinked once.
"……I'm just a scout officer. I doubt even Earth soldiers know how their vehicles work."
With that, a long silence settled over the interrogation room. Dr. Stein stared piercingly at Jenica's face without a twitch, judging truth from lie.
Then, abruptly, Dr. Stein burst into hearty laughter.
"Hahaha! Ah, what a relief. Truly fortunate that our alien miss here doesn't know that tech."
Jenica's pupils rippled with bewilderment.
"Did you just call that fortunate?"
"Indeed. Quite fortunate."
Dr. Stein leaned back in his chair, his bomb-like hair swaying.
"We're deliberately not researching superluminal navigation."
Wait, really?
[Eeeeh?!]
The little accidents' eyes went wide in chorus. The bespectacled one crossed her arms, eyeing Dr. Stein suspiciously.
[No way. A civilization that hasn't even properly left its home system has superluminal tech?]
[But considering the multi-phase reinforcement barrier……]
The doctor-gowned accident started scribbling on the blackboard.
[Maybe this old man's Tower of Reason group has a vague inkling. They're just not sharing it with what they call 'mundane civilization.']
Hmm, sounds right. Just look at the dark matter reactor. S. Hawking himself used it fine, but it's not commercialized.
"Impossible. If that's true, why?"
Jenica raised her voice in denial of reality, but Dr. Stein didn't seem inclined to elaborate.
"To protect alien civilizations and Earth humanity, of course. We have to prevent the inevitable mutual assured destruction."
"That's absurd…… A civilization that can't even reach into space…… But……"
"Seems you have an inkling yourself, miss."
"…….."
Jenica's face drained white. She worked her lips as if to retort, but some horrific conclusion in her head left her speechless.
Oof, she looks seriously rattled. Jenica's emotions turned to a muddy swamp of fear and confusion. No idea what she pieced together, but it lined up with Dr. Stein's words.
"That's enough for the interrogation. You can head back and rest now, miss."
Dr. Stein stood, slipping a hand into his coat pocket.
"I should thank Korea's Threat Management Agency for cooperating on hearing out our alien miss. And……"
Dr. Stein suddenly snapped his head back, staring right at me plastered to the ceiling. No mistaking it this time—it wasn't a glance. This grandpa clearly knows I'm here.
As I pondered what to do, Dr. Stein stuck out his tongue.
Nyah nyah.
Agh! Grandpa pulled a nyah on me. Even the signature pose.
[……It really was visible.]
……………
The interrogation room door opened. Out came Dr. Stein with his leisurely stride, Yeom Hana close behind.
I peeled off the ceiling in slime form and trailed them silently.
Hmm. He nyah'd me, so I gotta pay him back. Daring to nyah an Outer God-girl. Pranks deserve pranks in return.
Ideas, anyone?
The little accidents shot up their hands in my mindscape.
[Scatter Lego blocks under grandpa's feet! Hurts like hell barefoot!]
[Chew ten packs of bubblegum and stick it on his bomb head!]
Fun ideas, all. But something's missing. I want more fun.
[Then how about……]
The bespectacled one adjusted her glasses.
[Smearing his coat with permanent kimchi stain? Tweak the molecular structure a bit……]
Oho. Classy. Shortlisted. Would work on anyone.
While mulling pranks for Dr. Stein, he and Yeom Hana ahead chatted.
"Um, Doctor. Outer God-Alpha……"
"Destroyed the multi-phase barrier and escaped to roam free. I know."
"You……knew. So what does the Tower of Reason plan to do about that entity?"
Hmm. No best prank yet. In my mindscape, I propped my chin. The kids debated Lego vs. giant gum pros/cons.
"Let her be. No other choice. We agreed on that."
"……That's it?"
"Korea's Threat Management Agency is doing the same, aren't they? Tower of Reason too. Plenty inside yanked hair over it, but conclusion's the same. Gotta get along."
Alright. Rock-paper-scissors it is. Lego team, gum team—pick reps and—
The sharp-eyed accident stepped forward. Usually combat duty keeps her back, but her eyes sparkled today.
[I've got an idea!]
Yes? Spill.
[Twist old man's brain synapses into a 4D Möbius strip for just 0.1 seconds!]
……Oooh?
[Disrupts the cerebral cortex sneeze reflex path. He'll fart out his butt instead of nose every sneeze for life!]
Whoa, genius.
[Achoo! Turns to fart!]
[Fart! Hehe.]
Dirty talk gets 'em giggling, every kid. But you're today's winner.
I thumbs-upped the sharp-eyed one; the kids swarmed under her, tossing her skyward.
[Yay!]
[Sharp-eyes wins!]
Hooray cheers. Great. Let's do it.
As I gathered energy for the "sneeze-fart" prank—
A round object thrust into my view. Swirling rainbow stripes. A massive lollipop, size of two fists, floating before my nose.
Dr. Stein stopped, turned, and offered it to me trailing behind. Mischief twinkled through his round glasses.
"Little Outer God miss, a gift to build rapport—will you accept?"
I took the lollipop, eyeing his kindly crinkled smile. Just candy? Not another nyah prank, right?
Up close, light bent faintly around it. Air shimmered visibly over the surface like heat haze.
Lick.
Mmm. Fruit tang exploding on my taste buds, sweet-tart bliss. Not bad.
Lick lick lick.
……Huh. Licked a bunch, but it hasn't shrunk. Rainbow stripes unchanged. Why?
The doctor-gowned one zipped over with blackboard and chalk.
[Candy surface has different spacetime curvature!]
Time-axis graph on the board.
[Old man warped the candy's time flow to near-stop. No physical wear from licking. Theoretically eternal!]
Bspectacled one chimed in.
[Relativistic eternal candy. Time dilation lollipop.]
[Whoaaa!]
[Lick forever, never melts!]
[Best!]
[Yay!]
Mindscape kids jumped in glee. Hmm. Eternal lickable candy is top treasure, sure. But this is a bribe. Trying to buy me off with candy……
……Too vast and beautiful a lollipop to call it mere bribery. Plus, it never wears down.
Lick.Mmm. Sweet-tart.
Oh well. Sneeze-fart prank's off.Hee hee.
"Looks like you're pleased. Shall we head out for real now?"
While I was lollipop-focused, Dr. Stein turned.
"Hana, guide me to the rooftop helipad. Heading back at sublight."
"Y-yes……."
Yeom Hana led. I followed, licking.
Pat pat pat. I observed her profile en route. Lips part, clamp, twitch, swallow.
Yeom Hana's someone I swallowed and spat out once. Her emotions hit sharper than most humans'. Vice versa, she gets my intent broadly.
Something huge clogged her throat now. Dying to speak.
I pocketed the lollipop in subspace and approached. Thump thump. Fisted her back.
Thump, thump, thump. Outer God-girl broadcast. Frequency: Say your true feelings!
"Eek!? Why suddenly!?"
Yeom Hana twisted in startle.
"S-stop thumping!"
Nope. Upped the tempo. Thumpthumpthumpthump. Won't stop till you spill.
"W-wait! Quit it!"
As we tussled, Dr. Stein grinned.
"Oh right, you said you can vaguely read the little Outer God miss's intent. What'd she say?"
Yeom Hana's ear tips flushed red.
"Sh……She's thumping my back to say my true feelings to you, Doctor."
"Huh? Heh heh. True feelings? Now I'm curious too. Not a confession, I hope?"
At grandpa's teasing, Yeom Hana's face tomatoed. And—
She neither confirmed nor denied, eyes darting to the floor in haste.
……Huh? No way, she into grandpas for real?