Health Claps and the Blonde Neighbor
Health claps, clap clap. ……………
“Uh…… you’re the Alpha Outer God, huh.”
Yeom Hana stopped in her tracks upon spotting me.
“Um, could you move aside a bit? There seems to be another alien in that room besides the Super Small Annoying Thing.”
What, of all times, right now? She’d been trembling, crying, mumbling about a last supper, and had finally drifted off to sleep. How hard had I worked to get her to sleep? I couldn’t wake her up.
I puffed out my cheeks full of air and shook my head vigorously side to side. No no.
At my firm refusal and expression of displeasure, Yeom Hana’s face turned troubled. She let out a deep sigh, then squatted down to meet my eye level.
“Please? Okay?”
Huh?
The flavor of Yeom Hana’s emotions suddenly shifted. Just moments ago, it had been rigid combat mode, gears meshing perfectly tight…… but now…… hmm. It felt like the cautious gentleness of someone trying to soothe a fiercely snarling cat.
Why was Yeom Hana acting like this all of a sudden?
Wait, the topic went completely off the rails. Anyway, if Yeom Hana wanted to join the welcome party for the new alien girl tenant, too bad—she was a step too late. The blonde twintail alien girl had already devoured the pizza right down to the crust. And the cola. And the after-dessert ice cream too.
Still, since Yeom Hana was asking so nicely, maybe I’d let her peek just a little. I cracked open the door to the isolation room where the alien girl was sleeping, just wide enough for two fingers.
This should let her look inside without actually entering.
But the moment I opened the door, Yeom Hana’s gaze locked onto the doorframe.
“Why’s the isolation room lock cleanly sliced off again? Don’t tell me you did it, Alpha Outer God?”
At her sharp observation, I looked away and pretended to whistle. Just as she said, the spot where the lock should’ve been was now just a smooth cut surface.
Tch. That’s why I don’t like quick-witted kids—whoever said that was right.
But what could I do? That room wasn’t going to be the Super Small Annoying Thing’s isolation cell anymore. It was about to become the organic-alien girl’s bedroom. No need for an external locking mechanism.
As I kept averting my gaze, Yeom Hana sighed softly and peeked her head through the gap.
A king-size bed in the darkness. A small lump in Threat Management Agency gray sweatsuits huddled on top.
Oh, I’d tucked her in with a blanket, but she’d kicked half of it off. Her sleeping habits are rougher than I thought.
On the table, empty pizza boxes and three cola cans scattered around. Two empty Häagen-Dazs ice cream containers too.
“Ah, that alien from before.”
Yeom Hana’s voice dropped low. No way, did she know the alien girl?
Her eyes narrowed, gaze shifting from the sleeping alien girl to the pizza boxes, to the gray sweatsuits, then back to me.
“……Pizza? Agency gray sweatsuits? Why’s she here? Don’t tell me that’s your doing too, Alpha Outer God?”
I shrugged exaggeratedly. Of course! The result of my super kind deed.
I’d brought the starving organic-alien girl here, given her a shower, changed her clothes, fed her pizza and ice cream, and tucked her in. That’s TV animal shelter level stuff. Too bad she wasn’t a puppy or kitten.
I poked my chest and shrugged my shoulders high. Aren’t I amazing?
“And you’re proud of that……? I really have no clue what’s going on. Haa.”
Yeom Hana pressed her forehead in exasperation, then tried to push the door wider to step inside.
What’s this three-thousand-times sensitivity monster up to? I quickly grabbed her and yanked her back out. No no. She just fell asleep. No entering. Just look from outside.
“Nngh……”
A groan-like sound leaked from Yeom Hana’s mouth, and flame-like sparks flickered then faded from her Neutronium Suit.
“Ehew, fine, fine.”
In the end, Yeom Hana shrugged and backed away from the door gap. Good girl. Such a good girl. As praise, I went to pat her head—but my hands wouldn’t reach, so I stroked her butt instead.
Yeom Hana, used to it by now, swatted my hand away. Heh, acting shy. Petting’s nice, though.
Yeom Hana brought her hand to her ear. Communicator.
“Unidentified alien, contact established.”
Hmm, reporting now, huh. Her voice turned crisp. Business mode this time.
Sorry, but I don’t really need to hear work talk. It’s boring.
I turned my gaze away and shifted my consciousness to the mental world.
A bunch of little thought-mischiefs gathered, doing something. Towel tag, huh.
The mischiefs sat in a circle, looking up at me as I approached. Good, let’s start.
One mischief folded the towel into a loop and passed it around, while another peeked behind.
Yeom Hana’s voice drifted faintly from outside, fragmented by the mischiefs’ noisy chatter.
“Two weeks ago, crash-landed on Namsan, only the spaceship recovered and——”
The towel tag grew more intense. The glasses-wearing mischief started writing the rules on a blackboard, complaining they didn’t know them, while the doctor-coat one watched with arms crossed.
“Right now…… um, she’s sleeping.”
Yeom Hana’s report interspersed amid it all.
“Looks like she ate the cheese bomb pizza. Yeah. That famous one from the cafeteria.”
A short silence followed. Someone must’ve asked something over the comms.
“……You think an alien bought it from the cafeteria? No way. Who do you think’s the only one who can freely go between the threat isolation facility and the cafeteria?”
Another silence.
“Yeah. Her.”
I didn’t catch everything, but looks like Yeom Hana’s “job” was to check on the alien girl. Huh? Wait. Does that mean her work’s done now?
She saw her. Confirmed she’s sleeping. Report finished. Free time starts now.
I slipped out of the little mischiefs’ towel tag and returned to reality.
Let’s play!
Eyes sparkling, I grabbed Yeom Hana’s arm.
“Wait, wait——”
Pat pat pat.
My room had the Elder Ring, Trialsphere 2, tons of comics. Or we could continue Mask Song King on TV.
I overheard Yeom Hana add to her comms.
“This’ll take a bit. I’ll bring her in today…… probably.”
……………
My room had a pretty diverse game selection, so I felt like trying something different this time. The fighting game Iron Blood Fist. Odeokhwan taught me.
That guy didn’t discriminate by genre when it came to games. And he taught me one more thing.
Health claps.
Pick the ridiculously huge robot character, land a one-two punch, then clap attack. If it lands clean, it chunks 30% health; even blocking takes massive guard damage. And combos can’t be countered.
One-two clap. One-two clap. One-two clap. One-two clap.
Yeom Hana’s broom-head character put up a decent fight with her own Bongkwon moves, but even the strong broom-head’s “Oa!” couldn’t stand up to health claps.
KO.
“……Is this even a game?”
It is. Iron Blood Fist is a game where newbies beat pros.
Hehehe.
I was on an 8-win streak when barefoot footsteps echoed from the hallway. The blonde twintail alien girl in gray sweatsuits had woken up.
Rubbing her sleepy eyes, she snapped to attention the moment she saw me, then spotted Yeom Hana behind me and yelped “Hiiiiiik!?” while plastering herself against the wall.
Scared of me, scared of Yeom Hana. Classic face.
No helping it. Time for this Outer God-girl to make introductions.
I dragged the alien girl’s arm to stand her in front of Yeom Hana, then took Yeom Hana’s hand and placed it over the alien girl’s. Shake hands. She’s the neighbor I brought.
After that, Yeom Hana took the alien girl away. Something about a doctor from the Tower of Reason coming to hear her out.
I saw the alien girl flailing on Yeom Hana’s shoulder, yelling something. Hang in there—it’ll be quick.
Once they were gone, I got curious. A doctor from the Tower of Reason—what kind of person could that be? Surely they wouldn’t bully the poor organic-alien girl. She’s not even 1 Kilo threat grade.
Probably just fascinated by the first alien to visit this planet and wanted to ask questions.
Hmm. Anyway, I’m curious about the doctor’s identity, so let’s go see. Pat pat.
I opened the ventilation duct entrance and slid inside. Transformed into slime girl form. Zipping along the pipes. Squeezed into the interrogation room ceiling vent.
0.003 millimeters. Invisible to human eyes.
Perfect stealth. Hehehe.
Spread thin across the ceiling, I peered down.
Just in time for the interrogation to start.
Two people sat across a metal table. One was my new neighbor, the blonde twintail alien girl, shoulders stiff on her chair.
Across from her: wild white hair like she’d been hit by a bomb. Loose lab coat, casually propping his chin—an old man.
Oh, I’ve seen that guy before. A. Stein.
Supposedly the strongest in the Tower of Reason. Uses relativity kung fu or something.
All I knew about Dr. Stein was from news and agent chatter. Threat grade nearing Peta, they said.
But.
The moment I stuck to the ceiling.
Dr. Stein’s gaze flicked—just for a split second—to the spot where I clung.
Huh, did our eyes meet just now?
I shrank back, doubting, but Dr. Stein soon looked away.
Hmm. Must be my imagination. 0.003mm thickness is beyond what Homo sapiens retinas can detect, dead or alive.
The interrogation room air wasn’t tense.
“Miss from Kepler-442b. That right?”
Dr. Stein smiled kindly through his round glasses.
“Let’s start with introductions. I’m Stein. What’s your name, miss?”
Sounded like a grandpa chatting up his granddaughter.
The defensively hunched alien girl hesitated, then glared at Dr. Stein as if she’d made up her mind.
“……Jenica. Jenica El Corazón Meldiana, that’s me.”
Oh. Jenica, huh. Gotta remember that.