Phantom Thief - 6
Everyone has a fight they cannot back down from.
"Yunhyeon, stronger than the young hero Dang Jeong? Now say something that actually makes sense!"
"And why wouldn't it make sense? So what you're saying is that Dang Jeong is stronger than the young hero Yunhyeon?"
"Of course he is!"
It was a stone cast carelessly into tranquil waters by a newcomer to the Tea Book Club. At first, it raised only the smallest of ripples.
Which of Author Hopil's protagonists was the stronger? A conclusion everyone had assumed was self-evident collided head-on with someone else's equally self-evident truth, and the ripples swelled by the hour.
"You're telling me a man of Hubei Province is raising his hand—not for the Wudang Sect, but for a sinister clan of poisoners holed up in some Sichuan village!"
The Wudang Sect was the towering peak and guiding star of the orthodox factions, the very pride of Hubei. As a Taoist order, it commanded reverence in equal measure as a religion and as a martial sect.
One member of the Tea Book Club scowled as though Wudang itself had just been spat upon.
"Sinister poisoners?! Mind your tongue!"
"Was what I said wrong?!"
"Dang Jeong, unlike those sinister poisoners, is a chivalrous hero who stands as a model for the entire murim! How can you say such a thing!"
That the Tang Clan were sinister poisoners, they would all readily concede—but insulting Dang Jeong was beyond bearing. The Tea Book Club was split into two camps, yet on this point, every head nodded.
"Th-that was a slip of the tongue on my part! But how can you claim Wudang's martial arts fall short of a poisoner's?!"
"In Sichuan, even the Emei Sect and the Qingcheng Sect—both pillars of the Nine Great Sects—concede a move to the Sichuan Tang Clan. What exactly is supposed to be lacking?"
Unlike the Zhuge Clan, which had failed to dominate even Wuhan, the provincial capital of Hubei, the Sichuan Tang Clan reigned over Chengdu, the capital of Sichuan. It was a feat neither the Qingcheng Sect nor the Emei Sect, both pillars of the Nine Great Sects, had ever managed.
"That's only because they're a worldly martial family! Since when does that devalue the level of their martial arts? Besides, in Sichuan it is naturally the Emei and Qingcheng Sects of the Nine Great Sects who earn the reverence of the world!"
In might, the Tang Clan may have held the edge, but in influence, the Nine Great Sects reigned supreme. An undeniable fact—just not one that carried any weight with the members on Dang Jeong's side.
"Heh. Second-raters always make their excuses in exactly that fashion."
The Tea Book Club member smirked, one corner of his mouth curling upward.
"What did you just say?!"
"Enough, both of you. This will come to blows. Why fight over something meaningless in the first place?"
Team Dang Jeong. Team Yunhyeon. The Tea Book Club was divided into two camps, but there were also those who belonged to neither and stepped in to mediate.
"Meaningless?! Dang Jeong and Yunhyeon are martial artists who appeared in the same era! Of course it has meaning!"
"Exactly. In truth, this is a fire Author Hopil himself lit. Otherwise, why would he place two such martial artists in the same generation?"
"Mmm."
The stone, in any case, had already been thrown. The member who had tried to quell the argument knew it too. This debate wasn't truly about fighting at all—if it were, every face in the room would have been twisted with rage.
Instead, the faces of the Tea Book Club members glowed with delight over a brand-new source of entertainment.
Who was stronger—Dang Jeong or Yunhyeon? How could a topic like that fail to be fascinating?
Devoted readers who had pored over the novels countless times squared off under the banners of their favorite characters, each marshaling their own evidence and lines of argument. They got to flaunt what they knew, fight in their beloved character's corner, and wear their love of the novels proudly on their sleeves—and within each camp, the bonds between members only grew tighter.
Where else in the world would you find a debate this much fun?
"Not that Yunhyeon could ever stand against the young hero Dang Jeong to begin with. He isn't the Saekma, is he? What answer could he possibly have to poison?"
And so the debate rolled on.
"You think Yunhyeon has the perception of an ordinary man? The moment he catches wind of the poison being unleashed, you'll be treated to the sight of a neck parting company with its body in midair."
"That's right! While his opponent is busy dusting him with poison, Yunhyeon could take three more villainous heads besides!"
"Oooh. The greatest hero in the history of Author Hopil's novels, through and through."
The camp proclaiming Yunhyeon's superiority even broke into applause to back the argument.
"Grr! Fine, poison aside—what about hidden weapons? Dang Jeong's hidden weapons are renowned for their speed!"
"Ugh! Hidden weapons..."
"Hidden weapons swift as the wind, and laced with poison on top of it. Even Yunhyeon would surely fail to cope."
In an instant, the Yunhyeon camp found itself driven into checkmate. Yunhyeon's sword was no speed-prizing swift blade; Dang Jeong, by contrast, was a martial artist of the Tang Clan—masters of hidden weapons who prized swift, decisive victory above all.
How to answer this one? After long deliberation, a member of the Yunhyeon camp nodded and spoke.
"No matter. Parried."
"What?!"
"Hidden weapons swift as the wind? To Yunhyeon, who has mastered Wudang's Eight Trigrams Sword Technique, they're nothing more than a breeze through his nostrils."
At that proud declaration from their fellow member, the rest of the Yunhyeon camp erupted in cheers.
"Brilliant!"
"Oooh! It's you again! The greatest hero in the history of Author Hopil's novels—Yunhyeon!"
If it was Yunhyeon, he could do it. Whatever gap remained could simply be filled with the Tea Book Club's love. The other members nodded along.
"Are you going to keep twisting the logic like that?!"
"Twisting what logic? Are you mocking the Eight Trigrams Sword Technique, which holds the final enlightenment of Wudang's Fifth Patriarch?!"
"Even granting that the Wudang sect leader's enlightenment is woven into it, Yunhyeon's own attainment is pitiful. He hasn't so much as reached Thousand Variations, let alone Ten Thousand Variations."
"Urk!"
"And what of Dang Jeong, pray tell? He is a martial artist who blazed a trail in the arts so brilliant that even the Tang Clan's own warriors shower him with praise. The man has the makings of a Grand Master of his generation!"
"Ngh!"
"Heh heh. Time to concede, don't you think?"
"Yunhyeon is the hero who turns the impossible into the possible! In a moment of crisis, he grows stronger than anyone alive. There has to be an answer!"
"Oh? Then how exactly does he stop the Poison Killing Domain?"
It was true that Yunhyeon was a promising Rising Prodigy of the Wudang Sect. But Dang Jeong had already surpassed the level one would call a Rising Prodigy of Yunhyeon's caliber.
The Dang Jeong camp turned to the other side as though the answer were obvious.
"The Poison Killing Domain?"
"Step right up, everyone, to the Poison Killing Domain! How is Yunhyeon supposed to stop that?!"
The Poison Killing Domain. Dang Jeong's poison-arts technique—the very martial art that had made even the Saekma, fiend of the age, tremble in fear. How could Yunhyeon possibly stop it? There was no beating it. None at all. This was a debate that should never have existed to begin with—how could anyone rank Dang Jeong below Yunhyeon? Those Yunhyeon-supremacists hadn't even read the novels properly.
Just as smiles of victory were about to bloom across the faces of the Dang Jeong camp—
"If the Poison Killing Domain unfolds, he simply stays away until it dissipates. That's all."
A counterattack of sheer genius unfolded.
"What?!"
"Grill himself some meat for breakfast, sit back with a leisurely cup of tea, and even the Poison Killing Domain must run its course. Then he strolls in once the enemy is exhausted. Simple as that."
Why walk into a land of certain death on purpose? It wasn't as if there was even a woman in there he had his eye on. The Tea Book Club member championing Yunhyeon said his piece with a shrug.
"What on earth are you saying?!"
Another member stared at his friend in open disbelief.
"What? You think I'm talking nonsense too?"
The friend belonged to the same Yunhyeon camp—had he simply resigned himself to the fact that the Poison Killing Domain had no answer? But the member wearing that incredulous expression shook his head and opened his mouth.
"Yunhyeon is a Taoist of Wudang, remember? In the mornings he touches no fire-cooked food, believing it weighs the body down."
"Aha! Then he'd just eat a salad, still feel peckish, and never go at all!"
"Haha! Precisely!"
His friend, truly. The perfect comrade to shore up a flimsy argument.
"Did you skip volume three?! The Poison Killing Domain moves now, I'll have you know!"
"Salad is light enough to eat on the run!"
"What are you even saying anymore?!"
If the two protagonists ever crossed blades, would Dang Jeong prevail? Or Yunhyeon? Once lit, the debate kept the Tea Book Club blazing hot for days on end—and dragged countless of its members back through the doors of Daseogak the next day, and the day after that.
Why? What on earth was going on at Daseogak? I hadn't set foot in the branch for days thanks to how busy I'd been, so why had the whole place heated up like a stove?
"Manager Kang, take a look over there."
Ha Soso pointed to a corner of the second floor. That was where the Tea Book Club members usually sat, wasn't it?
I turned my gaze and cocked an ear toward whatever was unfolding in that corner.
"I've brought my cousin here! A man who learned his martial arts at a sect founded by a former Outer Disciple of Wudang!"
"Hold on. He said he'd buy me a meal, so I tagged along—what is all this? And I only ever picked up a move or two; I was never a proper disciple."
"Urk! Sneaking a martial artist in as a ringer—how underhanded!"
"Please, sir, favor us with your judgment. In your eyes, who appears the stronger: Dang Jeong of the Sichuan Tang Clan, or the young hero Yunhyeon—direct disciple of Wudang, a talent born to be the sect's pillar, the finest hero in the history of Author Hopil's works, and the inheritor of the legacy that carries the Fifth Patriarch's final insights?"
"Which is stronger, a Wudang man or a Tang Clan fellow? Why, that goes without saying—"
"One moment. Have you actually read both Dangga Pungun and Pungun Hyeopgaekjeon, sir?"
"Er... w-well... no, I haven't? This rascal said he'd lend them to me today, so here I am."
"Just as I thought—you brought in a bastard planning to stir up trouble without having read a single page. Prepare it."
"Preparing it now."
"W-wait! Why are you bringing out an A-frame carrier?! My apologies! It was all a mistake!"
"We forgive no bastard who stirs up trouble without reading the novels!"
Where do they even keep getting those A-frame carriers from? And just like that, another troublemaking bastard was being hauled off like a sack of rice.
"So this isn't the Jeongsil Daejeon—the First Wife War—but a debate over which protagonist is stronger?" I turned my head and asked Soso.
"Oh, it's still just a debate, at least! But lately they're going at it through gritted teeth, spittle flying everywhere. I'm a little worried it's getting too heated."
Soso lamented, looking genuinely anxious.
Who could have guessed that releasing two novels at the same time would set off something like this?
Then again, I was hardly one to talk. As a kid, I'd read my share of posts debating which of two beloved giant robots was stronger. Was the old-generation protagonist mightier, or the new one? Or the rival, perhaps? As a pilot, the elder was superior, but the younger one wielded far stronger psychic powers—let him grow into them properly and who could say? I used to while away whole afternoons arguing exactly that in the comment sections.
"Soso, is the thing I asked you about ready?" Perfect timing. It was time to bring out what I'd prepared.
"Yes! Shall I get it ready right away?"
"I'll be over talking with the Wuhan Tea Book Club, so bring it out once it's ready."
If Daseogak was going to run this hot over novels, then the least all that heat could do was boil a kettle or two. With Soso dispatched on her errand, I made my way toward the Tea Book Club members in the thick of their roaring debate.