Phantom Thief - 7
"Branch Manager Kang! It's been far too long! We heard you'd been hauled off to the government office—are you all right?"
"Thanks to your concern, I've returned safe and sound."
As I drew near the Tea Book Club, every face lit up at the sight of me.
"The Shadowless Divine Thief must have you worried sick. They say she turned up over by East Lake the day before yesterday."
East Lake? That was across the Yangtze. Lim Hayeon and Jegal Hyang had been buried in dossiers on Wuhan's wealthy—had she branched out that far already?
"I hear you've all been enjoying quite the lively debate lately."
Where the Shadowless Divine Thief was concerned, the wisest course was to seem connected yet uninvolved. When I asked with a pleasant smile, steering the topic elsewhere, the Tea Book Club members launched into impassioned orations, their faces full of anguish.
"Branch Manager Kang! Listen here. Anyone who has read Dangga Pungun longer than anyone else will understand. How on earth could Unhyeon possibly beat the young hero Tang Jeong! I'll grant him his chivalrous spirit, but this is sheer nonsense."
"Branch Manager Kang, hear our side as well! Who is Unhyeon? The hero who inherited the legacy of Wudang's former sect leader! A true martial artist who grows stronger with every hardship and adversity, no? And you'd have us believe such a man couldn't best Tang Jeong? I'm starting to doubt we've even been reading the same book."
"What?! What did you just say!"
"Oh, come now. A friend of Hopil's stands right before us. He can settle this conclusively—why carry on so?"
"Branch Manager Kang! We humbly request your esteemed opinion!"
Every member of the Tea Book Club turned to me, faces glowing with expectation.
If you're curious, ask the teacher. So I've become a kindergarten teacher whose every word is gospel.
Who was stronger, Tang Jeong or Unhyeon? They wanted a verdict. I had to answer carefully, but there was no need to think too hard about it.
"I believe Tang Jeong is the stronger of the two."
Credit belongs where credit is due.
"As expected of Author Hopil's friend!"
"Hah! That practically settles the debate."
"Branch Manager Kang. How could you?"
"Exactly so. Author Hopil wrote Pungun Hyeopgaekjeon for your sake, Branch Manager Kang, and yet here you are backing Tang Jeong."
At my single remark, one side wore the smile of the victorious while the other lamented a bitter loss.
They all seemed to think the matter was settled, but the story was far from over.
"However..."
Soyun Mind Image Art—engage, quickly. From now on, every word would sink into the ears of everyone around me.
I let my voice trail off with a deliberately hesitant air as I looked out over the club members.
"However?"
Curious gazes converged on me once more. I put on the expression of a man picturing someone he deeply admired, then opened my mouth with care.
"However, when I consider how Unhyeon—weak as he was at the start—carried his chivalrous work all the way into Tang Jeong's own era and made his name resound... he strikes me as all the more remarkable for it."
Having exalted Tang Jeong, now it was time to exalt Unhyeon.
"Branch Manager Kang?! What are you saying?"
"The Unhyeon of volume two is still at the stage where he hasn't yet made a name for himself as a hero. In Dangga Pungun, by contrast, we hear of a hero whose name commands admiration even from the Two Flowers of Blue and Red. In other words, the two novels share a single world—but a gap of time lies between them."
You're all missing the crucial point of the Tang Jeong versus Unhyeon debate. If you're going to argue about the strongest, you fight it out at full power.
"A gap of time, you say?"
"The Unhyeon of volume two gained enlightenment and grew stronger within a single volume. So consider the Unhyeon of the future—the man who received the sect leader's wisdom and chose the path of the chivalrous hero. Are you not curious just how strong he has become by the time of Dangga Pungun?"
With a flourish, I hurled an armful of kindling onto the debate.
"Tang Jeong would have to fight the Unhyeon of the future?!"
The Tea Book Club members' faces went slack with shock, as though each had taken a hammer blow.
"I see. Against the Unhyeon of the future, today's Tang Jeong could wage an all-or-nothing duel."
"The completed Eight Trigrams Sword Technique against the Poison Killing Domain! At that level, neither side would give an inch!"
"Ugh."
In an instant, the side that had been smiling in triumph found themselves floundering, while the side that had been lamenting erupted in cheers.
"Was there truly any need to tear each other apart with argument?"
The kindling is thrown—now to make use of the heat.
"Branch Manager Kang. Surely you don't mean to muzzle the Tea Book Club's voices!"
No. I'm telling you to fight in a different way.
"Branch Manager Kang, I've brought it."
Soso. Perfect timing.
"Well timed indeed. Everyone, please, have some."
Now to cast the fishing line.
With practiced ease I took the tray Soso carried and set it down on the table before the club members.
"...What is this?"
Once I had confirmed that every gaze in the room had converged on the cups before them, I spoke.
"Green tea lattes and black tea lattes."
What I had unveiled before the Tea Book Club was Daseogak's new menu item.
"A green tea latte? Y-you don't mean to say you put milk in tea?"
One of the members stared at me in open horror.
"You deem even an iced Americano heresy and drink nothing but pure espresso—how can you of all people put milk in tea!"
"This is not authentic tea! Not at allllll!"
Several members clutched their hair and wailed, quite unable to bear it. They'd drink coffee as lattes without a second thought, yet turned stingy the moment milk met tea.
There was, in fact, a reason for this. In the world I came from, tea with milk was the beloved milk tea; in this world, though, the custom of stirring milk into tea existed only as sutae tea, the drink of the northern barbarians.
Granted, plenty of people figured anything was fair game so long as it tasted good, barbarian fare or not—but it remained an undeniable fact that some turned their noses up at it.
"W-w-w-w-wait a moment! Don't tell me—is this a new Pungun Hyeopgaekjeon menu item?"
"Huh?! Hold on! Is this that pinnacle of predatory commerce again—the Main Wife Set!"
"Predatory commerce? This is the Chivalric Mindset Set, a menu made for customers who love both heroes."
The green tea latte stood for Tang Jeong of the Sichuan Tang Clan. The black tea latte stood for Unhyeon of the Wudang Sect.
"I-isn't that exactly the same trick? The same answerless 'who's stronger'—aren't you just telling us to vote?"
This is why I can't stand the sharp-eyed ones.
A drink some people of the Central Plains shunned, marketed with what could easily pass for vile commercial trickery—the mood suggested that if I mishandled this, public opinion would turn sour.
So what did one do in a situation like this?
"How disheartening. Predatory commerce, you say? The Tea Book Club seems to have grown rather overheated of late, so I created this menu as a symbol of harmony."
All you need is a story to go with the menu. Wrap it up so brilliantly that no one sees the hooks.
"Harmony? What do you mean by that?"
After sweeping my gaze across their puzzled faces, I began preparing green tea and black tea in the empty cups with practiced hands.
"Green tea and black tea. They share the obvious common ground of being tea, yet the two leaves differ in where they were grown and how they were made. Just like the two protagonists of Dangga Pungun and Pungun Hyeopgaekjeon, who come from entirely different worlds."
Begin, naturally, with emphasis through contrast.
As though to underline the Tea Book Club's split into two camps, I set the green tea symbolizing Tang Jeong before the Tang Jeong faction, and the black tea before the Unhyeon faction.
"The two protagonists are certainly distinct."
"They are. But now, these two teas gain a clear commonality."
Contrast shown—now for the transformation.
"A commonality?"
I laid a hand over my chest. The thing that never changed, no matter how different my protagonists' faces, no matter how different the martial arts they wielded. The thing they never let go of—whether cursing the world or coming to terms with it.
"It is the heart set upon chivalry."
"The heart set upon chivalry?"
I nodded, then brought the prepared kettle to the poured teas. From its spout flowed pure, snow-white milk.
"This piping-hot, snow-white milk symbolizes the one shared heart in which both men's hearts dwell."
The chivalrous heart.
Two martial artists raised in utterly different worlds, yet each carried the very same thing in his chest.
"They are different, and yet the same. The same, and yet different. But the chivalrous heart within them is one and the same. That is what makes them both heroes."
The two teas, so different in color and scent at the start, had somewhere along the way taken on the same appearance.
As chivalrous heroes who had stepped out into the world.
"Unhyeon and Tang Jeong are both heroes..."
"Who is stronger? Argue it as much as you like—that's no trouble at all. But there's no need to let it boil over, is there? We are all the Tea Book Club, cheering on the futures of both heroes. That is why I made this menu."
I carefully offered the two teacups to the representatives of each faction.
"The chivalrous hearts of the two heroes. So that is what this menu meant!"
"I see. Either way, both are Author Hopil's protagonists. You're telling us not to let it descend into a feud."
One by one, everyone lifted their teacups with the reverence of someone clasping the hand of a warrior they admired.
"What a novel taste. Unlike green tea, it's sweet and gentle. I could easily manage a few more cups of this."
"Pour me one as well! I turned my nose up at it as no true tea—but who knew it would taste like this!"
Good. The packaging is complete—now to produce the reason to buy.
"When you purchase the Chivalric Mindset Set, it makes no difference which latte you order—it is the tea of harmony, after all. And with every set purchased, we will be distributing raffle tickets."
I gave the prettily wrapped fishhook a little sway.
"So in the end, this is just a vote, isn't it?"
One member's face crumpled into a scowl.
"Not a vote—a raffle."
"A raffle?"
"Every time that little raffle drum fills up, we will hold a drawing. The first-prize ticket wins an official hanging scroll depicting a character from Hopil's novels."
"A scroll?!"
"And the first-prize winner may choose whichever character it depicts."
A delectable piece of bait dangles from the fishhook. Do bite quickly, please.
"Good heavens!"
"There are separate prizes for second, third, even fourth place as well. Unlike the Main Wife Set, we won't merely carry public opinion to Author Hopil—Daseogak itself will bleed coin for our customers."
The opinion-gathering for the answerless Main Wife menu was already finished. I had no wish to earn notoriety on top of it.
This menu will play at selling at a loss.
Of course, it runs a touch pricier than the standard sets—but we are handing out prizes, aren't we?
"Author Hopil will learn the public's verdict on which of the two will grow stronger in the future—and atop that, a scroll painted with whatever character you desire?"
"W-what manner of villainous scheme is this!"
"But! This much, I can accept!"
"If Unhyeon truly ends up stronger than Tang Jeong, then this much is only fair! Does it go on sale right this moment?!"
"Yes. Sales begin today."
In the distance I could see Ha Soso's expression, which plainly read: And so my suffering begins today.
"I'll excuse myself first!"
"One Chivalric Mindset Set, heeeere!"
"One for me toooooo!"
The Chivalric Mindset Set, launched together with its story, was met with resounding acclaim.
"...And that's how it went. The response at Daseogak has been wonderful, so I'd like to ask Lady Jegal to put in a bit more work."
To think you could take cheap tea leaves, stir in nothing but milk, and sell them at a premium. A flawless plan, if I do say so myself.
Chest swollen with pride, I recounted the day's events at Daseogak to the two women.
"..."
Why is neither of them saying anything? And why the long faces?
"Y-young Master Ka-a-ang."
After a long stretch of silence, Lady Jegal called out to me, head still bowed.
"Lady Jegal? Do you have something to say?"
Had work been piling up too much lately? She only needed to paint a few scrolls for the Chivalric Mindset Set, after all.
When I only blinked at Jegal Hyang in bewilderment, she screwed her eyes shut and spoke.
"S-sometimes, Y-young Master Kang is the biggest troublemaker of aaaall tiiiiime."
"Haha..."
"That's right. He's downright vicious. Honestly, some days I think if he'd never gone and opened Daseogak, he'd have been carted off first of anyone."
Couldn't argue with that.
"We'll leave Daseogak matters there. There is something I must ask Lady Hayeon."
When you can't rebut, change the subject fast. I flashed an embarrassed smile and turned to Lim Hayeon.
"Of me?"
"Two days ago—did you slip across to the East Lake side and do any work there?"
"East Lake? I haven't gone down south of the Yangtze yet."
Lim Hayeon shook her head, plainly puzzled.
East Lake was a lake on Wuhan's southern side, beyond the Yangtze.
When picturing Wuhan, it was easiest to picture Seoul of the modern age. The Yangtze ran through the heart of the city, splitting Wuhan into north and south.
The north was the administrative center of Hubei Province, where the wealthy quarters clustered; the south, by contrast, devoted itself to tourism and pleasure, packed wall to wall with courtesan houses, gambling dens, and every other sort of entertainment quarter.
As I thought—she hadn't crossed the Yangtze recently.
"They say the Shadowless Divine Thief appeared over by East Lake two days ago."
I passed along to the two women the news I had happened to overhear at Daseogak.
The Shadowless Divine Thief, who had never once worked that side of the river, had appeared at East Lake. Not one of the three of us was the sort to miss what that news meant.
"...A fake Shadowless Divine Thief?"
Lim Hayeon's face went rigid.
"The Shadowless Divine Thief is so wraithlike in her comings and goings that the constables have supposedly given up on ever catching her—so it seems there are now thieves passing themselves off under her name."
"Th-they can't! Do you know how hard we've worked to build that reputation!"
"We scope out every last target from one to ten and scale the walls ourselves! How dare they drag the Shadowless Divine Thief's good name through the mud!"
Oh, she was furious.
Lim Hayeon clenched her fists as though she'd love nothing more than to plant one on the fake's face if he stood before her.
"Wherever there is fame, there will always be those who ride on it to grab a cut. If only there were some way to deal with this fake Shadowless Divine Thief as well—"
"Young Master Kang. A visitor from the government office has arrived."
Just as I was about to continue on the matter of the fake Shadowless Divine Thief, a maid announced our guest.
"From the government office? Show them in."
Who could it be? With a word, Jegal Hyang and Lim Hayeon withdrew, and the maid ushered in the visitor.
"I trust you have been well?"
"Constable Jeong, isn't it? Please, have a seat. I shall have tea brought out."
The caller was Constable Jeong—the very man who had once tipped me off in advance that the government office meant to arrest me.
"I must deliver the Chief Constable's message and hurry straight back, so please, there is no need for tea."
"The Chief Constable's message, you say?"
"Young Master Kang."
Constable Jeong regarded me with boundless gravity.
What now?
Surely it wasn't word that they were coming for me and I should polish my neck and wait. He'd come straight from the government office, so I prayed it wasn't grim tidings.
I met Constable Jeong's eyes with a tightening chest.
"Yes?"
"Have you, by any chance, given thought to becoming a bailiff?"