Ready for the Sermon
I'd made all the preparations for the inevitable lecture and was just waiting for Noona to arrive. I gathered up all the trash and took it out, covered the hickeys with some patches—though they were hidden by my clothes anyway—and aired out the place just in case. After a thorough cleaning, the apartment looked like nothing had ever happened.
Sitting on the sofa, jiggling my leg as I waited for our guest, my phone buzzed right on cue.
"Hey, Noona. When you coming?"
"Almost there. I'm grabbing some samgyeopsal—anything else we need?"
"Eh, we've got most stuff at home. Lettuce, perilla leaves, watercress. No butane gas for the grill, but we can use the air fryer."
"Alright, just booze then. I was gonna drink with Gyeo-ul anyway, but she had that cold... What do you want?"
"I quit drinking."
"Come on, don't be like that. Drink a little for once."
"...Just get me two cans of beer. Black lager."
"Okay."
Noona hung up with a quick acknowledgment.
...Whatever. Even without booze, I've got someone way more intoxicating living with me full-time. Doesn't make much difference if I drink or not.
"Oppa, didn't you say you quit drinking?"
"...I was trying to, because of you. But you ruined that."
"Ruined what?"
"A lot of things. My rationality, for one. My morals. My tastes got a bit... broader. Anyway, most of it's your fault."
My part in it was minimal.
...Really.
It didn't take long for Noona to show up with the pork belly. We set the table, bantered a bit while grilling, snapped a group selfie, sent it to Mom via KakaoTalk and got some replies, shared drinks and soda, laughed and chatted—acting as natural as possible, like it was just any old day.
The result? ...Noona got smashed.
Probably because of that vodka from the freezer I mixed into her cola.
"Hey, Kim Ga-eul, Kim Gyeo-ul."
"Yeah."
"...Do you have any idea how much I've been stressing?"
"Yeah."
"After I saw you two hugging in your sleep, I barely slept for days."
"...We explained that already."
"Of course I trust you kids, but still. Huh? When I asked what was up, you suddenly drop your voice all low and start acting weird. I tell you to speak properly, and you start swearing and yelling. Then you burst into tears. You think that's how you treat your noona?"
...My head hurts.
Her flushed face was repeating the same story for the umpteenth time. First time seeing Noona drunk, and damn, she holds her liquor poorly. At least she's not throwing a tantrum.
"You, with your oppa here—when your dongsaeng's struggling, you tell your auntie or your noona, got it?"
"Yes, yes."
"And you too, Gyeo-ul."
"...Me?"
"When you're having a hard time, you run to your unnie and cling, right?"
"B-but Unnie's working..."
"You think your unnie can't handle one little you? And because you keep tormenting Ga-eul, your poor oppa can't even get a girlfriend. How sad is that."
"Noona's kinda..."
"Shut it for a sec, Kim Ga-eul. Anyway, yeah, Gyeo-ul. Right or not?"
"...Unnie, you're kinda drunk."
"I'm not. I'm totally fine."
I've never met anyone who claims they're sober who actually is sober. I do the same when I'm wasted. Though right now, I'm genuinely not— I only had a little, 'cause who knows what I'd do if I got drunk.
"If you've got worries, or something tough or painful—tell your unnie. Tell your aunties too. Spill it all to family and relatives; you're the baby of the house, they'll all fuss over you. But you two whispering and grunting, trying to handle it yourselves? That just gives me the headache."
"...Yeah."
"And when you're stressed, just tell Ga-eul to buy you something tasty. Or whatever. Even with Suneung messing with your head. Sleeping like that... it's kinda weird, right?"
"... ."
"Of course I don't think you two are doing that! But still... you know. You'd think it was weird if you saw me like that with Yo-han oppa. Not that it'd ever happen, even after I die and come back."
"Yeah."
"Anyway, reflect on it. You too, Ga-eul."
""...Yeah.""
"...You mean it?"
""...Yes.""
"Good, good. Everyone messes up sometimes. Just don't do it again. From now on, when something's tough, tell your unnie and cling to me. Not your oppa."
With her sermon wrapped up, our beaming Noona was nodding away, pouring yet another vodka-cola mix.
...My precious booze, gone just like that.
Never drinking with Noona again.
"Unnie... shouldn't you stop now?"
"I'm fine, fine. This much doesn't get me drunk."
"...Noona."
"Yeah, yeah? What, Ga-eul?"
"Wouldn't it be better to crash here? It's the weekend tomorrow, and the master bedroom's free."
"Nah, I gotta head home."
I'd hoped putting her to bed would shut her up, but no dice. She looks too wasted to even make it home anyway.
Ha...
After repeating myself five more times, she finally passed out.
I cleared the table, brushed my teeth. Dragging Noona off the floor to the bed was a workout—she wouldn't wake no matter how much I shook her. Somehow got her onto the quilt and hauled her to the master room.
"...Noona's a messy drunk."
"...Yeah."
"But hey, it worked out okay. Glad for that."
"Yeah. It was... kinda fun, in its own way. First time seeing Unnie like that."
"...We should sleep too."
"It's not that late."
"We finished the meat. Nothing left to do. Teeth brushed."
"...Oppa."
"What."
"Um, you know."
"...What."
"...Never mind. Night, Oppa."
She hits me with that infuriating tease, then slips into her room.
...Of course I know what she meant.
But still. She's got that cold. Noona's asleep here. No way I'm risking it.
Though, if we're splitting hairs, we're already insane.
I headed to my room and flopped onto the bed.
...Maybe 'cause I crashed so late last night, sleep wouldn't come. The little booze I had? While humoring Noona, my pent-up lust started leaking out.
...Haa.
Hold it together. I'm not some animal in heat.
We did it six times yesterday and today. Seven with hands. We've got tomorrow, the day after. No matter how long I held out, this is excessive.
I kinda hate myself.
Maybe scrolling my phone would tire my eyes enough to sleep? Nothing to do...
How does anyone live so hobby-less? Should I pick up another sport besides gym? Something solo...
As I seriously searched, my phone rang—from the dangerous presence next door.
"...What."
"Oh, Oppa, you're awake."
"Why aren't you sleeping?"
"...Dunno, just."
"...What do you want."
"Oppa, um."
"Yeah."
"...Can I come over?"
"No."
"'Cause of Unnie?"
"...You've got a cold. Just sleep."
"The meds fixed it."
"Gyeo-ul."
"Yeah."
"Even with Noona asleep, she could wake up anytime."
"...Yeah."
"...And if you came in here now, I don't know what I'd do."
"... ."
"So be good and sleep tonight."
"...Okay."
"Tomorrow, once you're better and Noona's gone... you know."
"...Yeah."
I hung up after that guilt-tripping spiel.
Haa... This is torture.
How am I supposed to hold back when she never says no?
Pushing her away just makes her pull harder.
At least appreciate how nobly I'm suffering.
I set my phone by the bed and closed my eyes.
Every time sleep crept in, yesterday's memories flooded back: the soft touch of her skin, the sticky-sweet scent of sweat, the musky traces of sex, that huge handful I never wanted to let go, her pure, untouched place—seen for the first time, shown only to me.
One by one, they ravaged my brain.
...What now.
No sign of it fading. Maybe jerking off would help? Tried it—grabbed and stroked a few times, but zero thrill.
Couldn't beat that sensation. My hand's grip is way tighter, logically.
Weird.
I pulled my pants back up.
Shaking off the persistent thoughts, clinging to the fading buzz, I finally blacked out.
...What.
Heavy. Hot.
Felt like I'd just dozed off, but opening my eyes, I saw nothing. Tried moving—couldn't.
Dream? Sleep paralysis?
Stifling. Something was clinging to me.
Tried speaking—soft something muffled my mouth.
...Now I'm dreaming this crap.
Ridiculous. Couldn't even laugh.
Pathetic. I hugged the ghost tight.
A voice leaked out.
...Ghosts can talk these days, huh.
Eyes stuffy, I reached up—felt fabric. Traced the edge: string at the ears. Pulled it off; the cloth slid from my face, revealing the dim room.
My dark-adjusted eyes soon identified my tormentor.
"...Gyeo-ul."
"Ah, Oppa... you're up?"
"...What's this."
"... ."
Gyeo-ul in pajamas, top unbuttoned, straddling me.