Suneung Day
I hadn't slept much, but my eyes opened on their own anyway. Come to think of it, it was always like this. On the day of my own Suneung, the day I enlisted, or any other big day like that. Before the alarm could even go off, I pushed away the arm holding me and slipped out of bed. Before leaving, I gazed at her sleeping face for a moment.
...Sleep well.
I straightened the blanket over her and left the room. For breakfast, maybe just some rice, soup, and eggs would do. To clear my head first, I washed up with warm water. After slowly drying my hair, I poured instant miso soup into a pot and set it to boil. While cracking eggs into a bowl and whisking them, my phone rang.
"Ah, Mom."
"Son, you up?"
"Of course. What do you take me for?"
"As expected, my boy's the best. What're you doing?"
"Making breakfast."
"Good. Is Winter sleeping well?"
"I peeked in earlier—she was out cold."
"Time to wake her soon."
"Was gonna make food first, then get her."
"Keep the phone on while you cook, then. I wanna talk to Winter too."
"Got it, I'll leave it on."
"Alright."
I switched to speakerphone, set it down somewhere handy, and kept cooking. ...Though all I really know how to make is rolled omelets.
"Son, what're you making?"
"Rolled omelets."
"Oh my, you can make those now?"
"Wasn't that hard."
"When Mom gets back, want me to teach you some other stuff?"
"Teach Winter instead. Let me mooch off her for once."
"Deal. What about lunchboxes?"
"Gonna pick up the reserved porridge. With a thermos."
"Smart thinking. Better than something heavy—porridge won't upset your stomach."
"I had some during my Suneung, and it was great."
"What about you for lunch, son?"
"Grab an extra one and eat in the car."
"...In the car?"
"You said the same thing, Mom."
"My boy seems off today. Something possessing you?"
"You're too much."
While bantering with Mom, I popped two packs of instant rice into the microwave. That's when the bedroom door opened, and my sister shuffled out.
...Was I too loud on the phone? Well, it was about time to wake her anyway.
"Sleep well?"
"Yeah, like a rock."
"Winter up?"
"Mom?"
"Yeah, it's me. Feeling okay?"
"Fine. You?"
"Mom's fine too. Eat breakfast quick."
"Mom, rice is still microwaving."
"Why didn't you hurry up?"
"...Alarm hasn't even gone off yet?"
Of course, I'd turned it off before washing up. It was surprisingly natural, this whole non-face-to-face family chit-chat. Was this what they meant by "untact" or whatever?
"Anyway, eat a good breakfast. Dress warm. Don't stress too much."
"Okay."
"Sorry I can't be there with you."
"Nah. I've been bossing Oppa around plenty instead."
"Good girl."
"...Huh?"
"Boss him around even more today. Make him buy you something nice after."
"Okay."
...Why are all the women in this house so obsessed with tormenting me? Mom, the aunts, cousin sis... You too.
"Don't stress, double-check you didn't forget anything, and go get 'em. Mom knows how hard you've worked—you'll do great."
"...Okay."
"Now eat. Mom's hanging up."
"Yeah... Love you, Mom."
"Love you too, Winter~ Bye~"
The call ended just like that, without a word from me. Ugh, gave me chills. I get it, but still.
"Let's eat. Want me to get the plum preserves?"
"Sure."
"Anything else?"
"I'm good. Just a little before we go."
She scooped nearly half the rice into my bowl and started eating quietly. I didn't want to overeat, but... it seemed a shame to waste, so I finished it all.
After stopping at the porridge place for two beef-and-vegetable packs to go, we headed to the exam hall. We'd left with plenty of time, so we arrived early.
...This really is the last time. Doing this with her.
"Oppa, can you come down with me for a bit?"
"Why?"
"...Wanna get some air together."
I was feeling a bit stuffy myself, so I followed her out without protest. The winter wind was definitely biting. My neck was fine with the scarf, but without gloves, my hands stung from the cold.
"Nervous?"
"Yeah."
"If you're not nervous at all, that's worse. A little tension's good."
"...Oppa."
"Yeah."
"Take off my muffler for a sec. It's stuffy."
I didn't get why she needed me to do it, but today was the day to grant any request. Had to give in.
"...Lend me your hand."
"Now what for?"
"Just do it."
She grabbed my hand without asking and shoved it under her muffler against her nape. The skin warmed by the fabric was scorching hot.
"...What're you doing."
"Still sleepy. Trying to wake up."
"Don't use someone else's hand as an ice pack."
"You're not 'someone else.' It's fine today."
"Today's why I'm letting it slide."
Might as well do it right—I slipped both hands inside her coat and massaged her shoulders.
...People glancing over. Whatever, I'll ignore it. Close siblings can do this.
"...Still not waking up."
"After all this? Come on."
"Oppa."
"What now."
"Say the grossest thing you can think of."
"What?"
"Something that gives instant chills and wakes me right up."
"...Out loud?"
"If I say it, it won't work."
I knew the words that could make your skin crawl and sober you up instantly. I'd heard them once.
...But here? No, maybe because it's here, today, it's okay.
I let out a sigh. Had to indulge her a little. She was my sister.
"...You sure?"
"Yeah."
Thinking about it, I'd never really said them. Not to Mom much... and definitely not since discharge. Still, I wanted to say them once.
I gripped her shoulders, leaned to her ear, and whispered softly.
"...I love you."
"...Me too."
"...Gives me chills saying it."
"Woke me right up."
"Had to be this?"
"Feels like I won't hear it otherwise."
"...Fine."
"Muffler back on."
I wrapped it snugly, hiding her flushed cheeks. She glared with wide eyes when it was too tight, so I loosened it to normal.
...Hope that eased the nerves. At least she's awake now.
"...Time's up. Go on."
"...I'll win this."
"Against who."
"Uh... society?"
"What even."
"Right?"
"Do your best. Like all your hard work."
"Yeah. ...I'm off, Oppa."
She trudged toward the exam hall.
...Not even a thanks. Not that I did it for gratitude.
I watched her back until she vanished, then returned to the car.
Ah... tired. Drained all over. Mentally exhausted. Heart still pounding.
...Why am I the nervous one?
Thought about calling Mom, then noped out. Just wanna sleep now.
Woke up in the car—it was past 4 p.m. already. Outside, exam-takers were starting to trickle out. Sis was probably still testing.
...Slept long. Yeah, tossed and turned last night.
Stomach growling, I pulled out my porridge and ate. Still warm in the thermos—delicious. Phone had a ton of missed calls. Mom, aunts, cousins, the works.
Called Mom back first—she lit into me like fire, thinking something happened. I groveled apologies until she forgave me.
By the time we hung up, evening was closing in. About time for it to end. Retied my scarf and headed to the school gate. Wind was fierce; hands deep in pockets. Real winter now. Cold as hell.
Soon, people started emerging one by one. Scanning the crowd, there she was—running straight at me.
...Gonna trip and hurt herself. Where's her muffler?
The cute bundle panted to a stop in front of me. Then grabbed my hand.
"...Oppa."
"Yeah."
"My heart's pounding like crazy right now."
"Figured."
"Here."
She placed my fingers on her wrist. Pulse racing, for sure.
...Ran in this weather; of course it's pounding.
"...Pounding hard."
"So... weird feeling."
"How so."
"Can't explain."
Instead, she pressed my hand to her carotid. Stronger now—thump thump.
"Neck's super warm."
"...Yeah."
"How'd it go?"
"Dunno... but I think good."
"Dunno means not good?"
"...Dunno."
"...Whatever, no need for details."
"Oppa."
"Yeah."
"...Wanna let you hear my heartbeat."
...Ah. Really. Tried to hold back.
If it was something we could do in public, I didn't wanna hand over control. As she set her bag down, I pulled her to me first.
"Hear it loud and clear."
"...Yeah."
"...This is so embarrassing. Can't open my eyes."
"Why?"
"People staring."
"Who cares. Nothing weird."
"It is kinda weird."
"Not this much."
"Then what's weird?"
"..."
"Why'd you shut up."
"...Oppa."
"Yeah."
"Thanks."
"...Now?"
"If I bombed, wasn't gonna thank you."
"Your fault if you bombed—why blame me."
"My call."
"...Thanks too. Always."
"...Yeah."
We closed our eyes, pressed closer. Narrowed the distance between hearts. Felt her chest throb through our coats, shaking me to my core.
...How tense was she? Wonder if she even did well.
"...Um, Oppa."
"What."
"Time to... let go."
"Why."
"Gotta go home... Mom's waiting for a call."
"Wriggle out."
"..."
She squirmed a bit, then gave up and nestled quietly in my arms. Until the crowd thinned out. Just the two of us. Layers kept us warm.
I wanted to stay like that forever.