How to Talk to a Man (4)
...What a complete, batshit crazy idiot.
Seeing Yozora tucked into my arms, rubbing her face against my chest, that thought rose right to the tip of my tongue. But if it were just the two of us, that would be one thing—with Han Su-a standing right there, perfectly composed, I couldn't exactly say that. So, what spilled out of my mouth was a far more polite and elegantly packaged expression.
"Stop it, student Yozora."
It was my way of saying, If you keep this up, I won't play along with your tastes anymore, so stop acting like a lunatic and get off me.
"Puhaha...! Yozora, what? Student Yozora....... Phehehe..."
However, far from understanding the meaning behind my words, Yozora was busy giggling, lifting her heels and dropping them back down. Yeah. I expected as much. It’s not like it’s my first or second time seeing you dead drunk... I had no choice. I had to give up. If I kept going, I was going to end up revealing my own identity.
"Haaaa..."
This is driving me crazy. As my vision went dark, not knowing how to navigate this situation, I let out a deep sigh and stroked the hair of Yozora, who had lunged at me like a giant dog, while locking eyes with Han Su-a over her shoulder.
A person’s gaze contains more information than you’d think. If I had to pick what occupies the most space, it would undoubtedly be emotion. The emotion of being agitated. The emotion of happiness. The emotion of sadness, and so on. Unless someone has undergone special training, it’s inevitable for a normal person to show at least a little bit of what they’re feeling. Because of that, there was a faint trace of emotion in Han Su-a’s softly glowing golden eyes.
"Hehehe....... *Sniff*.... Looks like you didn't, *sniff*, even put on any perfume......."
"......?"
"......"
What I read there was, unexpectedly, curiosity.
"Hehe.... Now your clothes are going to smell like alcohol. Yeah......."
"......"
My shirt was wrinkled and rolled up because Yozora had been pressing her chest against me and moving around. Yozora, clinging to me as if she were my actual girlfriend. To an outsider, it must have looked incredibly pathetic. Especially since we were doing this in an apartment hallway, not a private space. So, most people would probably be watching us with thoughts like, 'Why are they doing that there? Huh? What the hell?' That was my assessment.
"So, why did you come...? You didn't even say you were coming......."
"......"
Han Su-a’s signature aloof expression was the same as always. The cold, icy atmosphere that formed around her without any effort, making it hard to approach her, was the same, too. But unlike that, her two hands were gathered below her navel, fidgeting. Her eyes, which would glance toward us even as she tried to turn her head away, thinking she shouldn't be looking. Above all, her cheeks were flushed a faint, visible pink. Because of that, I knew roughly what was going on. Han Su-a was embarrassed. At the same time, she held a fair amount of curiosity about the sight of me and Yozora.
"You came because you missed me! Phehehe.... You should've just said so......."
Why was she embarrassed? The answer to that came to me more simply than I thought. Of course, there was a possibility she was just embarrassed to be watching this in the hallway, but Yozora had spoken confidently, and through my verification during treatment, I knew: Han Su-a was an innocent woman who had grown up without any exposure to anything lewd, someone who didn't even know what masturbation was. So, she could easily be embarrassed just by seeing a man and woman hugging. Like, 'That’s vulgar!'—the kind of reaction you’d see in a Japanese anime.
However, the second part—the curiosity....
"......"
Like a middle school girl who had just awakened to her sexuality, it seemed she was like that because of the lewd manga Yozora had recommended. But right now, it seemed better to deal with the disaster at hand than to worry about that.
"Ah, and I just touched Su-a's ti—... Ugh, yup...!"
I covered the mouth of Yozora, who was chattering away by herself, with my hand and looked at Han Su-a with as much of a troubled expression as I could muster. I immediately scrapped 'Operation A: Pretend to be the neighbor.' Since it had come to this, I needed a more shameless and dangerous plan. The only thing I was worried about was that it was a plan I’d improvised in less than 30 seconds, so it was highly likely to be sloppy. But I figured if I could talk my way through it, it would be fine. ...Probably.
"I, I'm sorry for showing you such a strange sight."
"...Yes? Ah, no, it's fine......."
I ignored Yozora, who was grumbling 'mph, mph', and spoke to her cautiously. Using formal language makes the other person feel like they are in a public setting where basic courtesy is expected. Even if I said the same thing, this would feel more persuasive than throwing it out casually in plain speech like I used to.
"It’s nothing else, actually, you see......."
"...Mph, mph!"
...It’ll be fine. She might look like that on the outside, but she’s a girl who has a few screws loose when you get to know her. I slowly let the words out.
"Yozora and I are......."
Hoo. I added an intentional sigh.
"...dating. Behind everyone else's back."
"...Mph...?"
I’d said it. Even though I’d attached a thorn I didn't like. With this, I could instantly justify the things Yozora had just blurted out without thinking. On top of that, it naturally explained why I, a school nurse, knew Yozora’s home address. ...Honestly, if Yozora hadn't brought up the subject of dicks, I wouldn't have played such a high-stakes card. I hid my complicated feelings and gave a faint smile. As much as possible, as awkwardly as possible. With the feeling of, 'I tried to hide it, but I eventually got caught.'
"......Ah, I see......."
Thankfully, Han Su-a opened her mouth just a little, ever so slightly, and nodded quietly. I’d been worried it would become a headache if she asked when we started dating, but she accepted it more easily than I’d feared. Is she following my lead because I’m using formal language? I let out a sigh of relief inwardly and locked eyes with Yozora, who had gone quiet in my arms. ...Stop licking my palm. You’re not a dog. And why are you looking at me with such sparkling eyes? It’s not like we’re actually dating; I’m just acting like it in front of her. You idiot. She was a bit dim, but she wasn't usually this oblivious.... It must be the alcohol, so I figured if I waited a little longer, she’d naturally fall in line with my lie.
I suppressed the ticklish sensation, gripped Yozora’s small face as if to hold it, and continued. From now on, it was time for something other than explanations.
"More than that, why are you here......."
In terms of Go, hadn't I just saved a group that was about to be captured? Then what I needed to do now was a shift in momentum. So, I held onto Han Su-a, who could have left right now without it being strange, and forced the conversation to continue. So that I could lead her back into that house. ...So that I could fully satisfy the curiosity she was feeling while looking at us just a moment ago.
"I, that.... I came to, um, talk? With Yozora......."
"Ah. Talk."
Was it because I helped her practice 'making male friends' last time? She could have just answered appropriately and run away, but Han Su-a accepted the conversation even while stumbling over her words. When I smiled softly and nodded at even the trivial content, a smile bloomed on Han Su-a’s lips for a moment.
...She says it’s to talk, but she probably just got sexually harassed by Yozora inside the house until a moment ago. That’s why she ran out and bumped into me. The 'ti—' Yozora mentioned earlier must have meant that, too. I could roughly picture what happened before I arrived. Yozora lunging deviously at those large breasts. Han Su-a screaming and running away. Well, something like that.
"She drank a lot yesterday, so she probably isn't herself. You must have had a hard time."
"That.... Yes.... Actually, earlier she.... ...Um......."
"When she gets completely drunk, she becomes a different person. I should say she gets much more affectionate."
"...Ah, aha......."
Seeing that she had quieted down under my hand, I realized Yozora had caught on to what I was trying to do, so I took my hand off her mouth. Thankfully, Yozora just licked her lips slightly with her tongue and didn't say anything else. When I tried affectionately hugging her as a test, she grinned playfully so only I could see and wrapped her arms around my body.
...Thinking about it, she really is a crazy bitch. I’d just assumed she followed me into the Academy because she wanted to run into me often, but to think she was planning to personally train Han Su-a and bring her to me. Well, she had a preference for wanting to be forcibly raped by men herself. She’s a crazy bitch, alright.
"Then.... shall we now......."
"......"
"...Ah, it’s a bit much to keep standing here talking, so shall we go inside?"
"...Yes? I, that......."
Even though I was acting like a kind person to Han Su-a, who couldn't even properly refuse, and doing something extremely suspicious, she was just clinging to me and giggling as if she knew what I was about to do. She’s a crazy bitch, alright.
"Since we’re all gathered like this, if I help you with that 'practice'.... Ah, wait. Does Yozora know about it?"
"I, I didn't say anything, but.... it doesn't really matter if we do......."
"What is this practice......."
"Practice for conversation. Actually, it’s practice for making friends. I was asked to help with that last time."
"Th, um, yes......."
"Mmm.... Then I guess I can just show you 'how' to become friends......."
"...Right?"
She was even going a step further, suggesting to me how to trick, deceive, train, and fuck Han Su-a. She’s a crazy bitch, alright.
"Great. Then I’ll give you a demonstration!! How to make friends!"
"Uh, uh?"
Yozora, who had slipped out of my arms, grabbed Han Su-a’s wrist with slurred pronunciation. And then, straight into the house. Our shoes lay scattered in front of the entrance as if they were having an orgy.
"Girlfriend? Or boyfriend? Or, that.... male friend? There was a weird Korean word for it."
"...I don't really mind either way......."
"Then I guess we can learn it all!"
...Her pronunciation gets normal sometimes. And her gait, too. It feels like she’s sobered up quite a bit, but is that just my imagination? Still, it would be better to keep my mouth shut and play dumb for now. I watched the backs of the two people and walked into the house without saying a word. The sound of the door locking with a click sounded unusually loud.