The Art of Talking to Men (3)
Whirrr— The sound of the motor hummed above. For the first time in her life, Han Su-a held a vacuum cleaner, a faint smile playing on her lips.
"Phew..."
...How to use a vacuum. Who would have thought that searching for this before enrollment, just in case she was treated like a freak, would come in handy here?
"Glad I looked it up..."
It had been an hour since she started vacuuming, moving with extreme caution as it was her first time. After dumping another clump of long hair into the trash, Han Su-a glanced at Yozora, who was fast asleep on the sofa, snoring softly.
She had a rough idea of how she ended up playing maid for Yozora. This weekend, Yozora had been drinking with the infirmary teacher—Seo Woojin—and they’d likely spent a fun night together. After parting ways on good terms, she’d arrived at this exact moment. Unfortunately, she had reached out at the absolute worst time. And so, she found herself dragged here, cleaning her heart out.
"Ugh..."
Sigh. Yozora. Do you feel good when your tail is touched, too? She had come here with the intention of asking just that one thing...
Seeing Yozora melted into a puddle of liquid on the sofa, she decided it was best to postpone it. Han Su-a untied her hair, which she had pulled back tightly to clean, and let it fall comfortably. She tied just the tips of her brown hair to keep them in place and headed toward the sofa where Yozora lay.
Even if Yozora was completely out of it, it was only polite for a friend to say goodbye before leaving. In an age where people greeted cute, adorable pets, it wouldn't do to ignore a person just because they had turned into a human pancake.
"Yozora. I'm leaving, okay?"
"Leeaa...ving?"
"Yeah. It's a weekday tomorrow, so stop drinking so much."
"Whyyy...?"
Why? Hadn't she already explained the reason? Was she too drunk to hear it? But the "Whyyy...?" Yozora uttered was referring to something else.
"Where are you goiiing... You just got heere..."
"Ah. I didn't think it would be easy to talk to you today."
"It's possiiible..."
She could have made a vague excuse about being tired, but for Han Su-a, who still lacked social skills, that was difficult, so she had just blurted it out. As she spoke, Yozora, who had been rubbing her cheek against the sofa, suddenly sat bolt upright. The red mark on her cheek from the sofa was hidden by her dark hair, which cascaded down. Instead, what appeared were red pupils visible between half-lidded eyes. Those bewitchingly glowing red eyes locked onto Han Su-a's.
"3 plus 4 is 7."
"..."
"9 times 6 is 54."
"..."
"23 times 81 is 1863..."
"...Y-yeah, yeah. You're fine. Our Yozora is fine..."
"Hehehe... I'm fiine..."
Well, what came out from under those eyes was just elementary school arithmetic, but still. Sigh... After playing maid, was she now playing kindergarten teacher? Han Su-a, who praised Yozora with a "Good job, good job," forced the corners of her mouth—which were always set in a straight line—to curl upward.
...The first two were right. But the last one, was it really 1863? She brushed off the trivial curiosity that suddenly popped up. She probably just blurted out a random number.
"Anyway...! Come closer..."
Just then, Yozora, sitting half-cross-legged on the sofa, patted the space in front of her. It seemed she wanted her to sit there instead of standing so far away. It felt a bit like being sexually harassed by a drunk middle-aged man...
...No, that couldn't be it. The person in front of her was just a sweetly intoxicated Yozora. Was she trying to talk about what they had messaged about earlier?
Han Su-a, without much worry, did as Yozora asked.
"...I'm here. Now what?"
"Yaaap..."
"...?!"
That expectation was betrayed in an instant. Yozora had reached out with a hand so lecherous that adding "very" a few times wouldn't do it justice, trying to grab Han Su-a's breasts. What on earth? She told her to sit in front of her, and suddenly, why her chest? Was this why she told her to come closer?
Han Su-a blinked repeatedly, unable to even scream. When she finally regained her senses and pulled her body back, Yozora’s body tipped forward, her hand still outstretched.
"Guh..."
"W-what are you doing?! Suddenly?"
"...Pfft... What am I doing... I was trying to squeeze your boobs..."
"No, that... I mean, you did ask for that, but..."
What should she call this? Should she call it shameless? Honest? Or perhaps, perverted? ...Right. Alcohol. Alcohol was truly terrifying. Looking at her state, it seemed impossible to expect a mature, intellectual conversation from Yozora. Simple communication was the limit.
Han Su-a, clutching her chest with her own arms, scrambled to the opposite armrest of the sofa. The ancestors said that if you encounter a mad dog, you shouldn't bravely fight it, but wisely avoid it.
"Yozora, let's see each other at the Academy tomorrow..."
"Waiit, waiit... Where are you goiiing... I'm right here in front of you..."
But what were you supposed to do if that mad dog followed you with a wide grin?
"D-don't come in here! Yozora, why are you so obsessed with touching my chest anyway...?! You have big breasts too...!"
"That's obviously because... ...Hmm... Obviously...? Huh... Why was it again..."
"What does that mean..."
"...Well, it doesn't matter, right...?"
"It matters...!"
"Nng... I wanna touch..."
"Don't!"
Han Su-a tried to draw a line with trembling feet to keep Yozora from coming closer. Despite her resistance, Yozora slowly crossed the line, reeking of alcohol. This wouldn't do. At this rate, she would definitely be sexually harassed and defiled by a drunken Yozora. To avoid her breasts becoming a squishy mochi toy, she needed a drastic measure, not lukewarm resistance. That was: RUN.
She shouldn't stay next to a Yozora who reeked of alcohol and risk something weird happening; she should just meet her after she sobered up!
"I'm sorry...!"
"Nngh..."
Han Su-a threw a sofa cushion at the crawling Yozora and revealed her ears and tail, just like in her practical combat classes. She had to at least get out of the building before Yozora could follow. If she ran away half-heartedly, there was a chance she’d be caught. In this situation, even the elevator was dangerous. It would be much faster to escape through the emergency stairs. ...Honestly, she doubted Yozora would go that far, but there was no harm in being thorough. Resolving herself, Han Su-a took advantage of the moment Yozora was rubbing her face against the pillow she’d thrown and headed out of the house in an instant...
"...?"
...As she was leaving, Han Su-a stared up at the man standing outside the door, her mouth hanging open in a daze. Seo Woojin. The Academy's infirmary teacher and Yozora's master was standing right there.
—Men like things like these breasts, don't they.
—Though there are plenty of perverts who like small ones.
—You like big ones, don't you? You pervert?
Last time, she had even done things to my chest, huh? If I had to be precise, I valued hips more than breasts, but I answered that I was roughly that type.
—Then, how about this.
—Should I let you, you know, fuck Su-a's tits to your heart's content???
At this point, I had a rough idea of what the "gift" Yozora mentioned was. Her getting close to Han Su-a wasn't because she had some grand plan to keep her from graduating. It was to be right by her side and inject bad things into her, one by one. To create a "gift" and offer it to me.
—She only knows manga, so she's really, really innocent, you know?
—So I just have to teach her well...
—She already has lusty bags attached to her that are interested in lewd things, so today I'll educate her...
Various typo-ridden KakaoTalk messages appeared, then were erased one by one. She was probably erasing the things she thought she shouldn't tell me yet. ...Even so, it was already painfully obvious what she was thinking. How dim-witted.
Was this really the same drunkard who was busy annoying people every single day? Ah, of course, the latter part was still true. The drunkard part, that is. The point was the former. Unlike before, she didn't feel particularly annoying right now. Back then, every single word she said was irritating, but now, even similar actions just seemed cute. Maybe that's why first impressions are important. If you look only at her actions, they weren't much different from her behavior before the regression, yet to change this much just because I learned one aspect of Yozora's true nature... Isn't it ridiculous?
However, the problem was.
"..."
The "gift" project Yozora prepared because she wanted to be loved by me (I don't know the specifics, but probably)... honestly speaking, it wasn't a gift that pleased me.
Hmm.
—Ah, and today when Su-a comes to my house, I'll teach her everything from how to masturbate...
At that moment, Yozora brought up the topic of "teaching masturbation." That was exactly the point I didn't like.
—First, from the Top 3 most arousing rape doujinshis I've seen...
—No. Just, should I show her a video first? Would that be better?
That just meant she was going to turn Han Su-a into Yozora mk2.
> Don't. That.
> I'll handle it myself.
I couldn't send, "It's fun to teach an innocent kid bad things one by one, so why are you taking that fun away from me? You crazy bitch," so I just sent a message telling her not to. But even after a minute, then five minutes passed, there was no sign of a reply. Given that the '1' next to the message disappeared as soon as I sent it, she had definitely read my message.
Well, it was obvious. She had either fallen asleep from exhaustion, or Han Su-a, who said she was coming soon, had arrived, leaving her no time to text. So, in the end, the innocent and friendless Han Su-a would probably...
She would obediently do whatever her only friend, Yozora, asked.
"Sigh..."
Why do people make things troublesome by doing things they weren't even asked to do? She should have just stuck to calling me to bookstores like last time.
I let out a deep sigh and started getting dressed. And as time passed, I encountered Han Su-a in front of Yozora's door.
"...Tea... No, Seo Woojin..."
Just one thing. Isn't it a bit strange from Han Su-a's perspective that I, a mere infirmary teacher, would know Yozora's home address? I realized this obvious thought only now.
"..."
"..."
...I could just say I live next door, then give the person in 701 some money and ask them to move out; that would solve it. My brain was working quite well for such a desperate situation. Now, as long as I didn't run into the person from 701 at a bad time, it would be over. Just as I was about to open my mouth.
"Oh, Woojin..."
From behind Han Su-a, who had frozen in surprise at seeing me, Yozora walked out slowly. And then, she hugged me right there. The girl who usually sang songs about how she hated me and wanted to kill me, as if she’d been hit by something, her face flushed red. Today, she was being incredibly affectionate.
Squeeze.
Of all times, in front of Han Su-a.
"Hehehe... Woojin... Our Woojin, who has such a huge cock..."
"...D-don't..."
"..."
I'm fucked.