29. It’s Not Sex. (3)
After Seo Woojin left, I stumbled over, clutching a towel, and began scrubbing the bedroom floor, which was stained with my own vaginal fluids. It wasn't as if I’d spent hours masturbating to produce that much; it was simply the result of feeling so much just from being abandoned by my Master. It was true that the dizzying pleasure had made me feel like my brain was breaking, but I was far too pathetic right now to wallow in the afterglow all night. I mean, I’d been dumped by Seo Woojin, so was this the end for me? It looked like I’d be stuck masturbating to the photos he’d sent me from now on… and I couldn’t even fulfill my role as a convenient outlet for his sexual desires.
“...I’m screwed. Heh.”
Even if it was hard right now, someday I’d be gagged and taken while screaming that I didn't want it. Someday, I’d be taken raw all night, even if I handed him a condom with a hole in it, begging him to use it because it was a dangerous day. Someday, he might decide he doesn't like my attitude and train me step by step. The future I’d dreamed of every night, pulling the blanket up to my chin, had all turned into bubbles. All that remained was a 'used' body, the kind of thing men supposedly hate so much. My first kiss. My first blowjob. My first paizuri. My first sex. ...And that first time, I’d fallen hard for a massive cock that was just over 20cm. A used body that had experienced all of this.
“Sigh... You should just lock things like this away instead of letting them out into society, you idiot. What if some innocent man gets hurt, unlike you, a piece of trash who buries his cock to the hilt in one woman and makes another drink his cum?”
As soon as I took off my pants, he’d go, "Huh? Why is this all you’ve got? My ex-boyfriend was way thicker and harder than this. Wait a second... Is this really all you can get up? Pfft. Don't lie to me. This is average size? If you’re a male, shouldn't you be able to fuck me until I hear creaking sounds near my belly button? My ex-boyfriend could do that. And you can't exactly say things like, 'Are you feeling good too, Yozora-chan?' every time you fuck me, can you?"
Living my life telling lies like, "Yes, yes, it feels good~ I just don't show my emotions well on my face~" isn't my style. Well, in the first place, if a man was only capable of that much, I wouldn't even let him touch my body, let alone go out drinking with him. Just like that day when you, Seo Woojin, joined our Villain Alliance and I went out drinking with just you.
“Should I beg on my knees and apologize...? Or should I just buy a huge dildo...?”
Since I no longer had the guarantee of being "innocent and not knowing what a cock is," I figured masturbating with a dildo while thinking of my former Master would be fine. I let out a self-deprecating laugh and continued my maid-like mopping. Ah, I’m ruined. How am I supposed to find a new Master? Should I wander around the subway stations like I did back in Japan? ...A Master who looks as good as my first one, with a huge cock. And a Master whose sexual drive is so massive it never shows signs of drying up. I wonder if there’s another one like that in South Korea.
Based on my experience so far, Japanese men are mostly herbivore-types. So, I’d prefer to find one among Koreans if possible. If I strike out a few more times and get labeled a serial killer, I might have to start studying English or Chinese...
“Kusso—!”
I stretched, letting out my native language, which was starting to feel increasingly awkward, in a playful tone. I brushed back my pretty black hair as it settled and tickled my cheeks, then walked unsteadily to retrieve the phone I’d tossed onto the table.
I wasn't a fool who would seriously gamble on a 0.00001% chance, so finding a new Master was on hold for now. Instead, I hummed a tune while tapping the screen, looking for a dildo. But then, a thought occurred to me, and I tapped the KakaoTalk icon instead of the internet browser. Seo Woojin had been angry because of what happened with Su-a-chan. I could at least ask what had happened, right?
“Hmm...”
I sent a message saying, "Su-a-chan~" but there was no reply. The '1' next to the message didn't even disappear. Su-a-chan. Su-a-chan. I sent another one three minutes later, but still no answer. Of course, the '1' was still there. "If you don't reply, I'm going to cry~" I sent another message, using my position as her only friend as a weapon, but there was no reply. Looking back at our old history, I used to get replies in under 30 seconds, let alone a minute, but today, the response was strangely slow.
“...Aha.”
She must be so busy she can't even look at her phone. Having reached the obvious conclusion, I lay down on the sofa, which was covered in the scent of a female, and started searching for dildos. ...Well, the reason she wasn't replying was pretty obvious.
Blink. Blink.
Between my slowly opening and closing eyelids, I see Teacher’s pitch-black pupils. As many people say, the eyes are the window to the soul. In other words, what’s in front of me is Teacher’s true feelings.
“...Will you say that again?”
“...Yes?”
“What you just said. Say it again.”
If I had to describe it, his voice was quite calm. But his eyes were saying something else entirely. ...He was incredibly aroused. Just like the day we first became sex partners, when he’d fucked me without mercy, and then pressed his cock, right on the verge of ejaculation, against me while I was quietly holding my breath. His pupils were trembling with fire.
I, I only said that because I wanted to stop being a sex partner... Why are you so aroused by that, Teacher? I didn't even say anything particularly lewd, did I?
“Then, from where...”
“From the beginning.”
Teacher spoke without even glancing to either side, despite the sound of footsteps nearby. Even though I could see someone walking by with a small bag—perhaps they’d been to a convenience store—and even though the sound of the bag crinkling echoed through the quiet alleyway, he just pressed me against the cold wall and urged me to answer.
...If I hadn't been hugging you tightly, we would have been reported to the police as rapists, Teacher. Well, right now, it probably just looks like a couple... being affectionate, so no one would pay much attention. But the problem that still remained was this.
“...Can we talk quietly? There’s someone over there...”
“That’s why we’re close.”
Unlike my voice, which was busy begging him to please speak quietly, his voice was that of a male who seemed to be choosing his words carefully after holding back for so long. I didn't know how to handle that arousal, which seemed like it would explode if stimulated even slightly... It was troublesome.
“...S-say it? For real...?”
“Do it. Hurry.”
Even though it was clear that saying those words just now was what led to this, was it really okay to bring it up again? In my opinion, something bad was definitely going to happen.
“...If you keep having s-sex with me...”
Something bad. Something really, really bad was going to happen.
“...I don't think you’ll ever be satisfied with your girlfriend.”
Even though I knew that, I still spoke the words carefully, while hugging him tightly. ...The reason? Well, I don't really know. Still, if I had to find a reasonable excuse, perhaps it was because I’d been hugging him so tightly with both arms that I’d inhaled his pleasant scent to a dangerous degree...?
“That you won't be satisfied with Yozora.”
“...Yes.”
Teacher chewed out the words one by one, as if confirming what I’d said. While I was tucking that chilling, low-pitched voice away into my memory bank for masturbation, the same voice from before—no, a voice that was clearly on the verge of exploding—came from even closer.
“Han Su-a, you know what that means, right?”
“...Ah?”
“You’re bragging that your body is more arousing than Yozora’s. ...And you’re doing it yourself.”
“I, I didn't mean it like that... Ah, wait...”
Lewd things are a no-go. Because I’m incredibly weak to pleasure. I was just making up excuses because I was embarrassed to admit that honestly, but I could live perfectly fine being satisfied with just masturbation...
Teacher, who was fully aroused, began to pull my wrist and walk somewhere. ...The destination was in front of my house. No, the elevator, which was even further in. I walked into it with him, and then.
“T-Teacher...”
Immediately after the first-floor elevator door closed,
“No. Here, outside...”
I was forced against the wall,
“......, ....... ...”
And we ended up mixing our saliva, stickily.
“...Ugh..., ...B-uh, mmm...”
“...Phew... If someone else sees us, what are we going to do! And the CCTV...”
“If they don't see us, can I do it?”
“That’s not what I meant...”
Sex is a no-go. If we bump our bodies together like we did in the infirmary, I might really get addicted to sex. But, kissing... ...Is that, maybe, okay? It doesn't feel good enough to worry about addiction... It’s just, how should I put it? My head goes blank? Just that much? Wouldn't this be fine? Masturbation gives me more pleasure than this... It should be fine. Yes.
“...Lift your head. Don't just stand there panting blankly.”
“...”
See. Teacher is saying the same thing. When I gently lifted my head, he began to play with my tongue as he pleased once again. He tangled it with mine as if telling me not to just stand there, but to move too. He stopped and felt the movement of my tongue, as if finding my efforts to move it cute. When I tried to stop the kiss because I didn't like his self-willed behavior, he... without permission, began to knead my breasts. Even though he was touching me over my T-shirt, he tried to scrape down my bra, committing such lewd acts... Eventually, he began to stimulate my hardening nipples with his fingertips.
...We’re inside the elevator. In the worst-case scenario, we could run into neighbors I’ve bumped into a few times while coming and going. If rumors start spreading among the neighbors starting tomorrow like, "That girl in that house was kissing her boyfriend a lot in the elevator,"... are you going to take responsibility for that? Teacher? What about the security guard who’s probably clicking his tongue while checking the CCTV right now? If the elevator arrives at our destination and we meet the lady who’s resting after finishing her day’s work, what are we going to explain?
“...Is this why you said you were more arousing than Yozora?”
“N-no... Yozora is cute, you know...”
“Height? Breasts? Voice?”
“Yes, ugh..., yes. All of that, it’s cute... Even when she can't speak Korean well, it’s cute...”
“She’s shorter than you, so it’s uncomfortable to fuck her. Her breasts are smaller than yours, too. And her voice isn't so much pretty as it is like a brat’s?”
“No, no... That’s a strange interpretation... Stop...”
“It’s not a strange interpretation. ...Because the sex I had with you actually felt much better than the sex I had with Yozora.”
“...”
...Excuse me. Besides the thought of wanting to have sex with me, do you have no other thoughts at all? Teacher?