29. It’s Not Sex. (4)
Reading the room. Reading the atmosphere. Reading the expressions. Reading the actions. Reading the voice. Reading the situation—it’s all about extracting as much information as possible.
"Tongue. Can you stick it out a little more?"
"…Tea, Teacher…."
Even though she resists as if she hates it, she only rests her hands on my body; she doesn't try to push me away with any real force. If she truly didn't want to kiss, she could just turn her head to the side to avoid it, yet, shortly after our bangs bump together, she eventually sticks out just the tip of her tongue, barely visible. As I suppress a laugh and press my lips softly against hers, she helps me by parting her lips little by little, as if to say this was something she started herself, making it easier for our tongues to tangle.
For a girl who claims she doesn't want to have sex, she certainly loves kissing a lot.
"It's fine to talk like you used to. Just call me Seo Woojin. I'm more comfortable with that, too."
"…I can't. I, I already promised myself I wouldn't be friends with you anymore, Teacher…."
"Is that so? Then what are we?"
"Obviously, just teacher and student…."
"Are you okay with that?"
"…."
"I…, *sigh*…. I want to be close to you like we used to, Su-a."
"…Yo, you mean you want to be sex partners…."
"You're the one making weird interpretations. Most people would interpret that as wanting to be friends."
"You, the one who says you're innocent…. *Ugh*…. You keep fondling my chest while saying that…."
"How am I supposed to hold back when something like this is right in front of me…. …Fuck."
"Ah…, wait……."
Even when I slip my hand inside her knit zip-up, which doesn't look like it cost more than a few tens of thousands of won, she only places her hands on my forearms without any major resistance. Even when I slide my hand under her T-shirt to touch her waist, which is slick with cold sweat, she doesn't tell me to stop; instead, she begins to let out small, whimpering sounds. The same goes for her breasts, which I’ve pulled her bra down over, scratching at them through the fabric. When I flick my fingertips against her nipples, which have become stiff enough to wrinkle her T-shirt in no time, she offers only verbal protests—*no, no*—while her thighs, which I’m dying to touch, tremble uncontrollably.
For someone who claims to live without sex, she is disgustingly weak to pleasure.
"…Let's go down. I don't want to do more of this in a place like this, either."
"Tea…. cher…."
I have a rough idea. Han Su-a is the type of person who is screw-loose enough to believe Yozora's lies and lick a dick, so she knows that what I just said wasn't actually meant to provoke me. Perhaps there was a small misunderstanding. Since she’s never had many friends, she’s probably just bad at communication. If I were a proper teacher, I would have talked a bit more and then sent Han Su-a home. But what can I do? The moment she hugged me tight while saying that, smelling of her scent, I was genuinely aroused.
Ding-dong. Ding-dong.
Was it this house? Seeing Su-a following me so obediently, I think it might be. Holding Han Su-a’s wrist tightly, I press the doorbell of the house I think I visited last time. Before long, a middle-aged woman's voice asks, "Who is it?" I answer her point by point. Su-a, and Su-a's friend. I say. …Because the risk is too high to just blurt out that we’re sex partners. What if I can't see Han Su-a at the Academy starting tomorrow? That would be a waste.
"Hello. Ah, I saw you when I visited last time…."
"…Yes. Hello…."
"……."
I swallow the excitement rising up to my throat and greet her as warmly as possible. But unfortunately, the woman's voice in return is very cold. Well, that’s understandable. It’s late at night. Han Su-a is hiding slightly behind me, catching her breath. And a male friend. It would be stranger if a housekeeper wasn't worried. She doesn't know what we were doing outside, nor what we intend to do in the house. …Well, if she had any intuition, she could infer it from the atmosphere, though.
"But what brings you here…."
"It's about a manga."
"A manga…."
The housekeeper looks at my face, which wears a faint smile, for a moment. Then she stares at Han Su-a, who is hiding behind me, for a long time. Moving her gaze back and forth, she eventually steps aside slightly to make way. …Telling us not to stand here but to go inside and enjoy ourselves. She looks at me with a mix of slight trouble and a forced smile. As expected, she seems to have guessed why I came here. After all, it’s hard to be that oblivious at her age. Someone without that much intuition wouldn't be working as a housekeeper for a family like this.
"I'm sorry for the late hour. We won't make any noise."
"Tea…, …Seo Woojin, wait…."
"…."
I think I heard some kind of response to that. Unable to hold back any longer, I kick off my shoes haphazardly and head straight into Han Su-a's room.
Thud. I close the door loudly. Click. I lock the door openly. Thud. I make a sound at the door once more.
"…."
The new answer that came in response was the small sound of the front door, as if someone were leaving.
157
If I had to be precise, I think I have more experience than the average person. I’ve never been in a relationship, nor have I ever intended to be, but you could say I’ve had frequent one-night stands where we forced our tastes on each other and submitted without any conversation. Of course, for me, it was a choice made for a reason. Why, don't they say that opportunity favors the prepared? If an opportunity were given to me while I didn't even know how to have sex, what could I do? That’s why I corrected women whose names I couldn't even remember to fit my tastes—it was practice for thoroughly training a coveted hero later on.
…But perhaps it’s because the targets were all villains who were no better than sluts. Ironically, Lee Hayoon is about the only experience I’ve had with a pure woman. Thanks to that.
"…Is that body wash? Or shampoo? …It smells really good."
"Do, don't smell it…."
"Why? You smelled me when you hugged me earlier, too, didn't you?"
"…That was…. Uh…."
Han Su-a, who tries to cover her face, flustered over a little teasing, is much, much more to my liking than I expected.
"*Sigh*…. I’m going to take off your knit, so…, put your arms down."
"I, I’ll do it myself. So please turn around for a moment…."
"Put them down."
"…."
I like that even though I’m openly fondling her breasts, her only resistance is grabbing my wrists. I like the ridiculous sight of her cooperating with me taking off her clothes, even though she insisted she wouldn't be my sex partner. I like the way she wiggles her arms down like a dejected herbivore instead of a lion when I speak firmly. In the midst of all that, I like that her eyes are still, to put it nicely, "cold," just as they’ve always been, and I like that the T-shirt revealed the moment I unzip her knit zip-up is a black, oversized, well-worn T-shirt that smells entirely of Han Su-a.
…Because it’s a process of learning Han Su-a’s secrets one by one, things other men will never know in their entire lives. I’m going crazy, wanting to capture every single bit of it in photos or videos.
"…Hey, Teacher."
"What."
"You should also…. …take yours off."
"…."
"It’s unfair if only I take mine off…?! Eek…?"
Throwing my coat and top aside to cool off on the floor, I’m left with only my bulging pants and underwear, and the sight of me grabbing Han Su-a’s T-shirt while she’s busy twitching…. It’s driving me crazy.
"You said earlier you were going to stop being my sex partner…, why?"
"…Ah, well…."
"Did you change your mind already?"
"…It’s the same. I’m not going to be your sex partner…. …Because I feel sorry for Yozora."
"Then why tell me to take it off? It’s not like you’re telling me to leave."
"I told you…! It’s embarrassing if only I take mine off…. A, and just because we take them off doesn't mean we have to have sex…."
"…Who says?"
"At least I won't do it…!"
I’m going to quit being your sex partner. Because if I keep doing it with you, I feel like you won't be satisfied with Yozora, Teacher. I still don't know the circumstances of how Han Su-a came to say such things. But well…. It doesn't matter. Whether it’s the way she felt so much even though it was her first time having sex in the infirmary, or the way she’s already peeking at my body even though she said she wouldn't have sex—if I just make a reasonable excuse, she seems like she’ll give in, pretending she has no choice. …That’s the fun of slowly breaking down pure kids.
"So, you’re just going to take your clothes off and stay still?"
"…I’ll end it when you’re satisfied, Teacher."
"Talk so I can understand. Don't skip over things just because you’re excited."
"I’m not excited……, …Ah, you said so earlier. That my body was…, …more erotic than Yozora’s."
"So what?"
"…Look at me until you’re satisfied, then go home. …Anything more than that is a no."
"…."
"An, answer. …Please."
What kind of structure is her brain made of? Could it be a flower garden because she reads too many manga? If I were a slightly bigger piece of trash and stronger, wouldn't you have already been laid on the bed and fucked until you passed out? I stare at Han Su-a with a foolish expression for a moment. Then, with a faint laugh, I bring the edge of the pitch-black T-shirt I was holding in my hand up to her lips.
"…Bite down on this."
"…."
"I’ll just look and then leave, so bite down on it."
"…."
I wonder if she’ll answer that she won't have sex. She should be a bit embarrassed, but this time, Han Su-a listens surprisingly obediently. Worried about what to do with that naivety, I pull up the T-shirt that was left over her breasts. And then, I discard the things that were covering Han Su-a’s body onto the floor, one by one. The snow-white bra that was disheveled because I had scratched down over her T-shirt. The gray jogger pants that were tied so tightly they wouldn't come down easily because they got caught on her hips—perhaps because her waist is so thin. …And.
"*Pfft*…, I, I’ll take that off…."
The snow-white panties, wet with a gray hue, where I can already feel the slippery moisture, where a transparent thread stretches the moment I pull them down, and which, even though flustered Han Su-a tries to cover with both hands, are all visible. All of them.