Chapter 98. Your Heart (2)
Chapter 98. Your Heart (2)
Lady Silver Lily said, "One condition."
"Starting today, for one week. Until the world is destroyed, you shall serve not as the butler to Lady Golden Thread Plum, the baron's daughter, but as my personal servant."
"Your personal servant......."
"Indeed. I only know my own love; I have never taught love to another. There is no way but to show you, nakedly, the way I love. So should you not watch and learn well by my side? Watch and learn."
"......."
"Now that I have said it, I feel as though I am taking a loss. No, it is certainly a loss. Am I not revealing my embarrassing private life? Know it as the fortune of three lifetimes—past life, present life, next life—all combined, commoner."
She truly was a haughty noble.
2
From the next day, my double-contract life began.
I came to serve not only Lady Golden Thread Plum, but Lady Silver Lily as well.
"Hmm, you have come?"
"Yes."
Lady Silver Lily received me in her dressing room.
5 a.m.
Lady Silver Lily was already awake. Four attendants clustered around her at once, dressing and grooming her. Ordinarily, setting foot in a toilette room—a dressing room—was a grave breach of etiquette, but Lady Silver Lily herself dismissed it with, "It is a bother. Pay it no mind."
The moment I entered, Lady Silver Lily spoke.
"Show me."
"Yes, my lady."
The gray-haired servant smoothly produced a board. The board was decorated with a lily pattern. And in elegant cursive, a sentence was written.
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LESSON 1. (Basic)
Love begins with dealing with a son of a bitch.
+
"......."
"Last night, I thought about what method I should use to teach you about love. I am not so idle as to devote myself solely to you, nor can I go and find your first love for you. Is that not so?"
While I stood dazed, at a loss for words, Lady Silver Lily spoke calmly. Around her, the attendants trimmed the nails of her right hand with expressions as blank as their mistress's.
"So I decided to teach you, step by step, the truths you ought to know in advance. Now then. Repeat it. Love begins with dealing with a son of a bitch."
"L-love begins with experiencing a son of a bitch......?"
"Indeed. A son of a bitch. Perhaps even several sons of bitches."
Lady Silver Lily produced a fan with her left hand. Swish! The fan unfolded with a clean, clear sound. She covered the lower half of her face with it.
"Lovers whose very first love is a perfect meeting do exist somewhere in this world. They will exist. There will be lovers who know how to be considerate and how to love from the very beginning, who share a romantic love from love at first sight until they are buried in a coffin. But that is not you."
"......."
"The lover you will meet is, with 99% probability, a son of a bitch. Even if he is not a son of a bitch right now, he will become one someday. Why is that? It is simple. Because it is nearly impossible for a human being not to be a son of a bitch all year round. By the same logic,"
Snap.
Lady Silver Lily folded her fan and pointed it at the gray-haired servant. The servant, as if prepared long ago, impassively flipped the board. A sentence was written on the back of the board as well.
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LESSON 1. (Advanced)
You are also a son of a bitch.
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"There is a strong possibility that you, too, are a son of a bitch."
"......."
"But do not think too negatively. Humans are creatures of experience. One who has been wronged by a son of a bitch can learn not to be wronged by a son of a bitch again. One who has been a son of a bitch to someone can learn not to be a son of a bitch the next time. One comes to grasp [what kind of person is a son of a bitch], [when I become a son of a bitch], and [how to avoid becoming a son of a bitch]."
My head went blank.
"C-can't I just do well from the start?"
"Butler."
Lady Silver Lily was expressionless.
"Do not place expectations on humans."
"......."
"Humans forget what they themselves have said. They resolve, then give up. Forgetting and giving up. Know these two words as the fundamental rules of romance. If you truly wish to love well, then conversely, you must learn how to [remember] and how to [resolve]."
"R-remembering and resolving are things you learn?"
"You are such a child......"
Lady Silver Lily sighed. What? What did I do wrong? I genuinely have no idea.
"Seeing once is better than hearing a hundred times. I shall show you myself."
Show me herself?
How?
"You saw with your own two eyes and still do not understand?"
Lady Silver Lily rose from her chair. The attendants who had been clinging to her like kittens withdrew all at once. Escorted by her servants, Lady Silver Lily declared proudly.
"The one who loves the greatest son of a bitch under heaven is none other than I."
Oh.
Why is that so cool.
"Let us go."
Lady Silver Lily walked, and I followed. The servants followed too. I did not know why, but they were carrying buckets of water.
The place we arrived at was the most splendid lodging in the academy. It was where the crown prince stayed.
"M-my lady."
The Crown Prince's attendants greeted us in a fluster. Should I say they were cowed? No matter how great a ducal house, it could not outrank the imperial family, yet strangely, none of them seemed able to raise their heads before Lady Silver Lily.
"H-have you eaten?"
"I have."
"The morning has not even broken yet......"
"Has His Highness the Crown Prince risen? The morning of a sovereign ought to be earlier than the morning of the people."
"That is......"
"He has not, I take it. Show me in."
The crown prince's attendant trembled.
"H-His Highness the Crown Prince issued a strict command......"
"What strict command? No, I can guess. He must have said that if I ever visit, I am absolutely not to be let in. Is that so?"
"I am ashamed to say......"
"When His Majesty sent the heir to the throne to this academy, he summoned me in particular. He commanded, [The heir's habits may grow lax, and he may become unruly, so as his betrothed, I need you to keep him in line.] My care for His Highness the Crown Prince is in accordance with His Majesty's command. You are an attendant of the imperial household. Tell me. Are you His Highness the Crown Prince's servant? Or are you a subject of His Majesty the Emperor?"
"M-my lady."
"Do you, mere servants, dare to refuse His Majesty's imperial command, claiming to be His Highness the Crown Prince's servants? His Majesty would be truly delighted to hear of this."
The situation was concluded within one minute.
Among the servants dispatched from the imperial household, not a single one stood in Lady Silver Lily's way. She crossed the garden, passed through the lobby, and at last arrived at the Crown Prince's bedchamber.
"Your Highness."
Three knocks.
"Have you risen?"
"Do not come in!"
"You have risen, I see. I shall enter."
Lady Silver Lily produced a key as if it were only natural and opened the door. Click. The Crown Prince's bedchamber opened and welcomed us. Its master, however, was shivering on the bed.
"Eek?"
"Your Highness, the dawn has broken and yet you still lie in bed. This will not do. His Majesty rises every day at four o'clock and attends to the affairs of the empire. Should the heir to the throne, who must one day inherit the great work, be lazier than His Majesty?"
"Is anyone there! Is there no one! Someone......"
"Close the door."
The door shut with a thud. There was not a single imperial attendant in the bedchamber. Only Lady Silver Lily's subordinates stood arrayed, expressionless. The Crown Prince's shoulders trembled even harder.
Lady Silver Lily spoke.
"Butler."
"Y-yes."
"I shall bestow upon you a second lesson."
The young lady pointed her chin at the gray-haired servant.
The servant raised a prepared paper board.
+
LESSON 2. (Basic)
If you cannot avoid a son of a bitch, enjoy the experience.
+
"E-enjoy it......"
"You too will love someday. And you will meet a son of a bitch as your first love. I advise you: if it is going to happen anyway, you might as well enjoy it."
Lady Silver Lily snapped her fingers.
"And there is only one way to enjoy an encounter with a son of a bitch."
The gray-haired servant deftly flipped the board.
+
LESSON 2. (Advanced)
Become an even bigger son of a bitch than the other person.
+
Splash!
The servants lifted the buckets and doused the bed. They had carried the buckets all the way here for this very moment. "Gahk!" The Crown Prince, struck by the deluge, thrashed. His ramen-noodle curls puffed up.
"...Romance with a son of a bitch is war."
Lady Silver Lily looked down at the Crown Prince calmly.
"If possible, it is better to avoid war. Peace is the highest value. If the other person is kind? Be kind as well. If the other person is good? You too must be good. But if the other person is an unavoidable son of a bitch, remember this."
Lady Silver Lily produced a fan. It was a different fan from before. Surprisingly, this fan also had words engraved on it.
+
Today's motto:
Do not be kind to a son of a bitch.
+
Insane.
"Repeat it. Do not be kind."
"D-do not be kind."
"Humans are animals that wish to be seen well by others. There are humans who wish to be seen as wonderful people, and there are humans who wish to be seen as people who know a thing or two. And there are also humans who wish to be seen as kind people. As I see it, you belong to the last category. Restrain yourself."
But Lady Silver Lily herself exercised no restraint. None whatsoever.
"Open the door."
The servants opened the door. In the corridor before the door, imperial attendants stood fidgeting.
"What are you all doing?"
Lady Silver Lily spoke as if nothing had happened.
"His Highness the Crown Prince is wet. However mild the spring weather, I fear the heir to the throne may fall ill. Quickly, change his clothes."
"Y-your Highness!"
The imperial attendants rushed over in a flurry. Each of them held a towel, as if they had known this would happen. I could tell from that alone that this was not the first time Lady Silver Lily had employed the water-dousing tactic.
"Take this to heart. This is the equation of romance."
Lady Silver Lily stepped slowly into the corridor.
"A handsome person loses to a smart person. A smart person loses to a son of a bitch. Therefore, the one who reaches the pinnacle of love is a beautiful son of a bitch with brains. Butler, you must awaken to this truth and diligently polish yourself."
"Uh......"
Looking back, chaos still reigned in the crown prince's bedchamber.
"This is quite different from the love I imagined. I thought it would be more......"
"You expected something more romantic?"
"Yes, and......"
"You thought love was something done with the heart, not the head."
"Yes......"
"That is also true."
Lady Silver Lily tossed her fan. Flick. The gray-haired servant caught it skillfully and tucked it away. We walked toward the drawing room, conversing.
"But that very thing depends on your fortune. Meeting someone who makes your heart pound at first sight is by no means easy. Who makes your heart pound is also determined by what kind of life you have lived. Falling in love at first sight is, in truth, seeing at a glance what kind of life the other person has lived."
"Those are difficult words......"
"They are difficult."
The young lady's red eyes narrowed.
"If it is truly difficult, shall we test it?"
A test.
"What kind of test?"
"I mean, shall we test whether I make your heart pound?"
"...How would you make my heart pound?"
"You need only do something praiseworthy."
Something praiseworthy.
"What is something praiseworthy?"
"Must I teach you even that? Why not ask me to find your beloved and present them to you? Think and agonize on your own, and produce an answer. Butler. You are clever, so perhaps you may succeed."
"......."
"I shall at least tell you, free of charge, whether it is right or wrong."
We arrived at the drawing room. It was clearly the Crown Prince's lodging, yet Lady Silver Lily walked about as comfortably as if it were her own home. She dismissed all the servants except me and sat in a chair.
A room laid with red carpet.
Eyes the same color as the floor quietly regarded me.
Hm.
"Hoo......"
I drew a deep breath. The breath traveled down my esophagus and gathered in my lungs like a solid lump. Though it was nothing more than a simple breath, I decided to make it proof of my resolve (決心).
I took the cards from my bosom.
+
[Prosopagnosia Card]
[What a Coincidence? Overhearing a Decisive Secret! Card]
[Oops! I Shouldn't Say This! An Accidental Slip of the Tongue! Card]
+
Before entering the Apocalypse, the Librarian had given me these as a gift, saying they would "be an army of a thousand horses and ten thousand men." They were cards originally intended for use in this stage.
Lady Silver Lily tilted her head.
"......? What is that?"
"They're cards the Shut-In Librarian gave me."
And.
"According to what you said, my lady, these too would be a kind of [Strategy Guide]."
Riiip!
I tore the cards without hesitation.
The torn cards scattered like fine, brightly colored sand. Without a trace.
[The Shut-In Librarian is astonished by your decision.]
Perhaps those cards truly would have been a great help in clearing the stage. But showing sincerity to the person before my eyes was more important.
At least, that was what I believed.
[The Shut-In Librarian realizes your true intent and applauds.]
A reward is nothing more than a reward.
A shortcut only has meaning while it is a shortcut.
I have no reason to obsess over rewards, and no reason to set my heart on a path that is no longer a shortcut.
"...Oh-ho."
Lady Silver Lily rested her chin on her hand and looked at me.
"Indeed."
Her red eyes glittered as if steeped in blood.
"Praiseworthy."
Lady Silver Lily gestured lightly.
"Come here."
I approached.
"Your chin is high. Lower your head."
I lowered it.
Lady Silver Lily whispered into my ear.
"Well done."
The young lady took a glass bottle from her bosom. At first I did not know what it was. But the moment the cap opened with a pop, I understood. A blue fragrance. It was a perfume bottle.
Lady Silver Lily removed her glove.
She traced the mouth of the perfume bottle with her little finger.
"I shall say this in advance."
She reached toward the nape of my neck and, with a smooth stroke, dabbed a spot behind my ear.
"I will not take responsibility for you."
Fragrance.
A powerful floral scent that made my head spin.
"......."
The scent of white lilies.
My head reeled in an instant.
"Is it fragrant?"
Lady Silver Lily clasped my right hand. I realized a little late that our fingers had interlaced. The fragrance was interfering with my head, and time was stuttering.
"Yes......"
"Does it please you?"
"...Yes."
Lady Silver Lily tilted her red gaze.
"It pleases me as well. It is the fragrance I treasure most. A scent I love."
Softly. Her voice crawled up the nape of my neck.
"I am not displeased that you confessed your secret to me of your own accord and tore it up. Continue to attend me. Tonight, I too shall tell you one secret."
My heart pounds.
[Your immersion in the character deepens.]
This is serious.
[Your current Immersion Rate is 15%.]
I think I'm going to fall for this person.