Chapter 99. Your Heart (3)
Chapter 99. Your Heart (3)
3
Meong.
-Hey, zombie. Oi, Kim Zombie.
There was a word, [meong]. It could be the sound of a dog barking, and it could also mean being dazed.
Meong.
-Mr. Kim Zombie? Mr. Kim Crow-Tit? Young Cult Leader? Hey, Death King. Can you not hear me?
I was meong. I could not tell the daze apart from myself. I was meong-meong, and meong-meong was me.
There is only one scene floating before my eyes right now.
Red carpet. Red eyes. Blue fragrance. A voice. A touch.
-Th-this bastard. He's been hit. Properly hit. Those eyes. They're exactly the same as the eyes that Zhuge Clan bastard had when he fell for the Ice Palace Master.
What is love......?
Gong-ja said: love was a lily flower.
Lady Silver Lily.......
-I'm sorry, zombie. This is all my fault. The levels are different. Different, far too different. Because of me, you've ended up falling in love with someone out of your league.
When I stared blankly, the guardian spirit was picking his nose. Seriously, that had to be one of the worst poses a person could strike while apologizing.
Ah, right, this fellow isn't a person but a ghost.......
-But honestly, this is hilarious. Keep going, more.
I muttered blankly to myself.
'Suicide.......'
-Huh?
'If I kill myself, I could experience the same thing as before one more time, couldn't I......?'
-You crazy bastard....... Still, at least you have enough sense left not to say anything about suicide regression out loud. That's a relief, at least. This is all being broadcast inside the Tower, you know.......
"Suicide......."
-Look at that sense flying out the window so fast! You crazy bastard! Hey! Sparkle!
[Sparkle leaps up and smacks the Hero on the head.]
"Aaaaagh!"
I clutched my head and rolled around on the garden lawn.
"I know I'm not in my right mind right now! But, but her ladyship's face keeps floating up in my head, what am I supposed to do!"
-Already calling her 'my lady,' huh. That's one round of bullshit loaded.......
"Ah, I absolutely cannot wash my face today. Even if I do wash my face, I shouldn't wash behind my ears. Doesn't it still smell a bit like lilies? Would you like to smell behind my ears?"
-Two rounds.......
"How many times did that ramen-haired Crown Prince save the world in his past life to receive her ladyship's love? Ah, damn it. The internet. I need the internet. The internet and a computer. I have to quickly leave a comment saying 'I want to be like the Crown Prince too' on every single post I see......."
-Three rounds. Fucking hell.......
"Ah, love! Sweet poison! Irresistible addiction! My heart!"
-I knew it. I knew that if this bastard ever fell in love, he'd become the most insufferable creature in the universe. Knowing that and still giving him advice makes me a real bastard.
"I'm not the only one acting like this!"
[Your immersion in the character deepens.]
[Your current Immersion Rate is 21%.]
"See! This body's original butler keeps having his immersion go up too. That means he's harboring the exact same feelings as me, and what does that mean? It means the butler has also fallen for Lady Silver Lily!"
-Uh. Didn't that butler originally like Golden Thread Plum or that peregrine falcon or whatever?
"Ha, you don't get it. Does love have to be devoted to just one person? Love isn't like that, you know? Love is, love is, you see. Love is, well... it's love."
-Wow. You haven't even been in love for half a day yet, and already this.......
I sprawled out flat on the lawn. Broad daylight. Academy class hours. The Heretic Questioner, the Crown Prince, and Lady Silver Lily were all in class right now.
"How can I save Lady Silver Lily? No, save her? Who am I to say such a thing. Just, what can I do to make her ladyship happy?"
-As the person responsible for unleashing your bullshit on the world, let me offer some advice with a sense of responsibility.
The guardian spirit grunted.
-It's not time to think about that yet, kiddo.
"Then what is it time to think about, old-timer?"
-You need to get to know the other person a bit more.
"Get to know the other person."
-Mm. When you're courting someone, it's important to keep making an impression. But trying to do that while you're still strangers gets awkward. You're her personal servant right now, though. Even if you just stay put, you're guaranteed time together. You're making use of a geographical advantage.
"A geographical advantage......."
-Right. So relax and observe the other person a bit more.
"But......."
-But?
"This world is going to be destroyed before long, isn't it."
-Hm.
The guardian spirit crossed his arms.
-That is indeed a problem.
The guardian spirit's tone was subtle. It was as if the 'problem' I had mentioned and the 'problem' the guardian spirit had mentioned were different things.
But just then, the bell signaling the end of class rang, so I couldn't ask the guardian spirit why his tone was so subtle.
The true nature of the problem was revealed that very night.
4
It was a night of utter darkness, the clouds having swallowed the moon.
The candles lit in the dormitory struggled to lift the darkness, but it was clearly a losing battle. Sormwyn Academy was sinking into the dark.
"You may consider this a reward for the commendable deed you showed me."
In the midst of that, Lady Silver Lily personally held up a lamp and led the way.
I followed behind her alone, careful not to step on her shadow.
"I will tell you my secret."
"......."
Lady Silver Lily was wearing her nightgown. The white dress hung loose on her frame. Was it because, as the guardian spirit said, my bullshit had been loaded, that my heart skipped a beat every time the hem of her clothes fluttered? But this feeling was far too warm to be called bullshit, wasn't it?
"Follow me."
Lady Silver Lily walked. The night corridor was empty. As I followed, I stared openly at her fingers illuminated by the lamplight.
"What are you thinking about right now?"
Lady Silver Lily suddenly spoke.
"Pardon?"
"I asked what you are thinking about. I can feel your gaze. I am curious."
"......."
"Though it may only be temporary, you are my personal servant. Would refusing to answer your master's question be anything but disloyalty? I have said I am curious, so you ought to answer."
I hesitated.
"That is......."
"Speak."
"...I was thinking that I wanted to hold your hand, my lady."
The moment the words left my mouth, it felt as though it wasn't my tongue that had moved but my heart that had leapt out of my mouth. It was the emotion called embarrassment.
Even when I'd heard the Gongbi Eocheonga from Sparkle, I hadn't been this mortified. Truly. My face burned so hot I thought I might die.
"Hm."
Just then, something wrapped around my left hand.
It was Lady Silver Lily's hand.
Skin. Texture. A cool temperature. The moment her slender fingers interlaced with mine, I almost mistook it for my heart being squeezed in her hand. The scent of flowers filled my head.
Even though she had merely held my hand.
"M-my lady."
"Did you think only of me all day today?"
The tongue in my mouth went dry.
"Did you long for my touch and my scent? Did you imagine them?"
"That is......."
"Answer. If you do not speak honestly, I will let go of your hand."
"I-I thought of you."
"Properly."
My head spun.
"All day today, I thought only of you, my lady."
The flower scent became a voice and whispered in my ear.
"Well said. You are my loyal servant."
[Your immersion in the character deepens.]
[Your current Immersion Rate is 29%.]
Now.
I don't even know what's what anymore.
I just don't know.
"Y-you mustn't do this."
"What is it that I must not do?"
Think.
Let me think.
"I am, someone who came from outside this world... at best, someone borrowing the butler's body......."
"So?"
[The Silver-Plated Heart gazes at you.]
"Did you not say that you see me as a 'human being'?"
"I......."
"Was it a lie?"
[The Silver-Plated Heart gazes at you.]
"In the end, do you too regard me as a mere 'native' or 'indigenous person' like the other apostles? No, to use the terminology of Hamustra, who sent you, do you regard me as a 'character'?"
[The Silver-Plated Heart gazes at you.......]
"I......."
I barely managed to speak.
"I... no, I mean. That is, my original master is Lady Golden Thread Plum."
[Your immersion in the character deepens.]
[Your current Immersion Rate is 30%.]
"Such as I am, I merely agreed to attend Lady Silver Lily for the sake of a brief mission, and so......."
"That too is a strange thing to say."
Lady Silver Lily looked at me.
"You said you thought only of me all day today. Does that not, in other words, mean you did not think of Golden Thread Plum?"
"That is......."
"Was it a lie?"
[The Silver-Plated Heart.......]
"No. It is not a lie, I......."
My head.
My breath.
"If so, is your master not already me, rather than Golden Thread Plum?"
"That is......."
"Try calling me your master."
The interlocked fingers tightened a little more.
"Just once is fine. Call me that with sincerity."
"......."
"If you speak the word 'master' with your lips, I shall grant you a reward."
A reward.
"I promise you a sweet reward."
Why was it that the moment I heard those words, my heart steeped in sweetness?
It was the moment I was about to speak without realizing it.
-Gong-ja.
A low call.
[Sparkle shudders and restores the Hero's senses.]
A Constellation's warning.
The fact that these two were reacting like this, this languid sense of intoxication I was feeling right now—all of it felt familiar.
The same sensation I had felt in the basement, when I saw Lady Silver Lily interrogating the attendants.
An intuition of danger.
"Hm?"
Lady Silver Lily turned to look at me. Her red eyes watched me from an otherwise expressionless face.
"What is the matter?"
A whisper.
"Do you not need a reward?"
A reward.
"Just once is enough."
Just once.......
If it's just once. If it's just once, as a test, wouldn't it be fine?
I do feel that it's dangerous. But. Still. Even if something goes wrong, I have the power to turn back time. That's right... I do have such a power. So I have the power to make risking danger once worthwhile—no, come to think of it, saying I'm risking danger isn't even the right way to put it. Isn't it necessary, if only to gain the information of 'what will happen if I say these words'? You know, when a traitor appeared among the rankers, and when we first faced the Demon King of Fall Rain—if you line things up just right, isn't there a similar element to this current situation too? So wouldn't it be fine? Just saying one little thing. If it goes wrong, I can just turn back time once. It's just something that ends at that level. Because I have that kind of ability.
So just once, truly just once, even if I were to speak such words.......
「But you know I’m the Flame Emperor, don’t you, pal.」
「Then you'll have to die.」
The back of my neck went cold.
「Death King.」
「I believe in you.」
My fingertips froze.
「My lord.」
My head.
「My disciple.」
My senses snapped back to attention.
My vision cleared. My mind sharpened. My thoughts raced, as if trying to make up for everything that had been standing still until now.
Was I someone who could submit so easily, with a light heart?
Was the weight on my shoulders really that light?
No.
I am Agwi's lord.
And I am the Young Cult Leader of the Demonic Cult.
I have lived my life so as not to become like Yoo Soo-ha.
And so, I had fled through the snowfields with the Alchemy Ministry Head precisely because I refused to let even a single death become something taken for granted.
"...I apologize, my lady."
I placed my palm over the back of Lady Silver Lily's hand. Even if it was only words.
Because it was only words, all the more.
"What is it that you are sorry for?"
"I cannot acknowledge you as my true master."
I want to learn the joy of love. I am learning it. But even so, I do not intend to learn it to the point of losing [myself].
At the very least, I cannot enter into a one-sided relationship with anyone.
"If you truly wish to obtain my heart, my lady, you will have to use a different method."
"Speak. I shall listen."
"I will serve you as my master, so you too must take me as your master."
"......."
"I will treasure your judgment above my own. I will accept your counsel as weightier than my own convictions. I will not hold myself dearest above all. I will follow you. But in return."
I looked at Lady Silver Lily's face. Because our hands were joined, the distance between the two of us was very close. Red eyes. I knew that they were the same color as a heart.
"Please treat me the same way."
"......."
"If you do something wrong, I will tell you it is wrong. What I truly think, what I look upon, what I feel. I will confess all of it to you alone without a single lie. But a one-sided relationship is not acceptable. If I offer my heart to you, with what shall I breathe? Someday I would suffocate and die. Only if you give me your heart will I be able to keep living."
I gripped Lady Silver Lily's hand a little tighter.
"If you wish to see me lose my mind, then you must lose yours over me as well."
And Lady Silver Lily shook off my hand. She stepped back two paces. Like someone who had been struck by an unexpected blow.
"...I see."
However, Lady Silver Lily's expressionless face had not yet crumbled.
"You are different from the other foolish apostles. I took you for a gentle little kid... but just because love is unfamiliar to you does not mean life is unfamiliar to you. I was too hasty."
"You were trying to seduce me into becoming your subordinate, weren't you?"
"My mistake. I underestimated you."
Lady Silver Lily bit her lip for a moment. Even that face was so beautiful it was chilling. The night corridor. Even the white moonlight became shadow when it shone upon her.
"Yes. I, am not an easy man, you see."
"What a shame. It would be so much easier if you would offer me everything and be at peace."
"You said that understanding and responsibility were no different. One-sided responsibility would be nothing but one-sided understanding. That is not what I wanted when I approached you, my lady."
My heart was pounding, but I endured it.
"So what is this secret you said you would tell me?"
"......."
Lady Silver Lily turned her back and walked.
"...My family has an heirloom that has been passed down since ancient times. It is a sword with a legend attached to it, a legend like a joke. A sword that, if you make a wish upon it, will surely grant that wish."
The end of the corridor.
There, where even the moonlight had stopped flowing in, lay a bundle of curtains. Thick red curtains. The bundle of curtains was draped as if concealing something.
"However, there is a condition."
Lady Silver Lily's fingertips caught the hem of the curtain. With a sweep, the curtain was drawn aside. Beyond the veil stood a full-length mirror, the kind you might find in a toilette room.
And.
"When you make a wish, you stab your own heart with the sword."
A sword was embedded in the very center of the mirror.
Lady Silver Lily stood before the mirror.
Where the blade was embedded, by coincidence, was exactly where Lady Silver Lily's heart was positioned.
[Sparkle senses the presence of a sister.]
The holy sword at my waist trembled.
[Sparkle says that is the third sister sword of the Holy Sword of Protection.]
Drip. Drop.
From the mirror where the sword was embedded, blood dripped one drop at a time. The curtain that had been hiding the mirror had not originally been red. The blood flowing from the mirror's heart had dyed the curtain red.
[It says it is called the Sword of Prayer.]
"This was back when I was not yet a regressor. His Highness the Crown Prince became betrothed to Lady Golden Thread Plum. I was so resentful, so utterly resentful, that I leaned upon the sword passed down in my family and made a wish."
"What wish......?"
Lady Silver Lily's lips moved.
-Please let my love continue forever.
"And so, my life became eternal."
"......."
"I do not die even when killed. My feelings toward His Highness the Crown Prince do not change either. My heart has been fixed in place since that day."
Lady Silver Lily took my hand.
She took my hand and guided it to her chest.
Where her heart was. Where it should have been.
"Did you say you wanted my heart?"
But.
No heartbeat could be felt there.
"I am sorry."
Lady Silver Lily said.
"I have no heart to offer you."
[The Silver-Plated Heart gazes at you.]
And the blood that had been flowing down from the mirror pooled together and began to form a small shape.
Though different in size, it was the same existence that had killed the Paladin and the Count in the previous cycle.
It was the shape of a demon.
Why the blood flowing from the mirror formed such a thing, whether it had been summoned or created, I did not know.
"Now."
But Lady Silver Lily picked up the sword with a familiar air.
"Help me."
The sword was aimed at the small demon.
"It is time to take care of today's routine."