The Manager Is Not a Toy
“You two are going to be working together from now on. Can’t you at least try to get along?”
“The manager has a hobby of demanding the impossible, I see.”
We were riding the elevator up from the department store’s underground parking lot. The nonstop bickering between them the entire way here still echoed in my ears, so I’d finally scolded them. Audrey shook her head with a perfectly straight face while Calathea, standing beside her, added another remark.
“We’re like fire and oil, Manager.”
“…Not water and oil?”
“Water and oil just refuse to mix and that’s the end of it, right? But fire and oil… when they meet, they burn each other alive.”
“At this point I’m not even sure there’s a single person you don’t set on fire, Calathea.”
“Aha♡ Is that how it is?”
Is that how it is? I’d simply asked them to be friendly, and somehow we’d already reached the stage of setting people ablaze?
“Just stop using the nicknames Audrey hates. That’s all you have to do.”
“Mmm, that’s not it, Manager.”
“What do you mean, that’s not it?”
“First, that wouldn’t be any fun. And second…”
“Even without that, every single one of Calathea’s tasteless actions disgusts me.”
“…So she says.”
Calathea grinned wickedly and shot me a wink. Her expression all but screamed, Manager, you’re in for it now.
“I want to die.”
I stared up at the elevator ceiling and let out a long sigh.
Audrey and Calathea had left prison and were now savoring their freedom, but the result was that I felt like I had been thrown into a cell with these two lunatics. The real question was—who the hell was going to let me out?
“Wanting to die at such a young age. Our manager really is far too delicate, isn’t he? You need to toughen up.”
“With that kind of naïve, girlish sensibility, it’s impossible to handle someone like Calathea, who is utterly devoid of aesthetics.”
“That applies to Madness too, you know.”
“………”
“Don’t pull that out here. Are you trying to cause a scene in public and get sent straight back to prison?”
“…Tsk.”
I grabbed Audrey’s wrist just as she reached into her coat for the pistol. She clicked her tongue in genuine disappointment and whipped her head away. I wondered how many more times this kind of coaxing would actually work.
“Calathea, you stop provoking her for no reason.”
“But—”
“You were about to say something about fun again, weren’t you?”
Calathea stuck her tongue out playfully and winked, as if I’d hit the nail on the head.
“Of course, if the manager begs me nicely, I could hold back. But in return… you’ll have to entertain me, won’t you?”
She licked her lips with a suggestive look, then slowly pressed her body against mine.
“Why don’t the two of us go back to the hotel and finish that bed test we never got to do earlier…♡”
“……Calathea.”
“Aha, the manager’s reactions are just too much fun♪”
“Answer me seriously. Are you going to listen to my request or not?”
“Hmm… Well, I’ll think about it!”
I wished she would do more than just think about it. Standing between Calathea, who was humming cheerfully with an excited grin, and Audrey, who radiated a chilling frost, I kept a dead expression on my face until the elevator finally reached our floor.
“Manager?”
“Yeah. What is it, Audrey?”
The moment the doors opened, Calathea dashed out with a cheer. I started to follow her into the department store when Audrey’s quiet voice stopped me.
“It’s better not to let Calathea occupy too much of your attention. Unless you want to become a moth flying straight into the flame.”
“…I’ll keep that in mind.”
She was right. This was no time to be distracted like an idiot by Calathea’s games. If I didn’t stay sharp and keep these two on a leash, they would cause an incident without fail. Especially someone like Calathea, who lived to chase after anything that might amuse her.
The way she acts toward me might just be part of a honey trap to manipulate me however she wants.
As I tried to steady myself, Audrey continued staring at me even after delivering her warning.
“What? You have something else to say…?”
“I was simply thinking that the manager is quite the lecher.”
“…I’m not.”
Audrey brushed off my excuse without a second thought and turned her gaze forward. Where exactly did she get the idea that I was some kind of pervert? Sure, my eyes might have wandered a little every time Calathea launched one of her physical assaults, but that was simply an unavoidable biological reaction for any man born with—
“Manager! Hurry, hurry!”
“Yeah… I’m coming.”
I avoided Audrey’s piercing stare and walked toward Calathea, who was waving both arms wildly in the distance.
That was how our chaotic shopping trip began. The two of them clearly had a few screws loose, but thankfully they transformed into perfectly normal women the moment they started shopping.
“Manager, which of these two looks more beautiful?”
Our first stop was a suit shop for Audrey. The instant she spotted a sleek mannequin, she rushed inside and quickly returned with two suits, holding them out to me.
“…Aren’t they both identical black suits?”
When I failed to appreciate the aesthetic difference, Audrey’s eyes narrowed into sharp blades. I quickly glanced at Calathea for help, but she was only grinning wider, clearly enjoying my suffering.
Damn it. Zero help.
With no other choice, I studied Audrey more carefully as she held each suit against her body. Her cool silver bob, skin so pale it looked almost translucent, and beauty so inhuman it might have been carved from marble by a master sculptor. Add in her long model-like legs and streamlined figure, and honestly, anything would look good on her.
But Audrey clearly wanted a definitive answer.
“If I have to pick, the left one seems to suit you a little better?”
“Hmm… I’ll go with the right one.”
“……If you were just going to choose whatever you wanted anyway, why did you even ask me?”
“Pfft—Ahahaha♪”
After shooting a death glare at Calathea, who finally burst out laughing, I calmly purchased the additional suits Audrey picked out. I wasn’t sure if it was appropriate to spend the subjugation support funds like this… but once they started working as hunters, they’d earn their own money.
“Audrey, does that mean we’re done with your outside clothes?”
“For now.”
“Then we’ll buy your loungewear all at once later… Shall we move on to Calathea’s clothes?”
“Let me warn you in advance—my shopping won’t be as easy as Madness’s.”
The meaningful curl of her lips sent a shiver of unease down my spine.
***
“Manager, what do you think of this? Hmm? Isn’t it pretty?”
“Uh, it’s fine—”
“Doesn’t seem like it. Okay, I’ll change into something else and be right back!”
“……….”
How long had I been dragged around by Calathea now? She had swept through every single clothing section in the department store, and I felt like I was trapped in an endless purgatory that wouldn’t release me until I’d seen every article of women’s clothing that existed in the world.
“Watching you right now, I think I’m starting to understand how Calathea feels.”
“Not you too, Audrey…”
“Manager, Manager! How about this one?”
“…It looks good on you.”
“Hmm, so this one’s acceptable? Good, I’ll add it to the pile.”
With her stunning figure and above-average height, everything genuinely looked beautiful on her—just like with Audrey. But Calathea kept delicately reading every micro-expression on my face as she selected each piece.
Is this some kind of technique that goes beyond mind reading…?
“More importantly, why are you watching my reaction while picking out your clothes? Shouldn’t you buy what you think is pretty?”
“Because this is more entertaining.”
“Is wearing clothes that match my taste that fun for you?”
Calathea, back in her usual crop top and hot pants, winked as she organized the growing mountain of clothes beside her.
“Because if I wear these, I think the manager will make even more amusing faces?”
“…Put those back where they belong right now.”
“Hehe, that wouldn’t be any fun♪”
She snatched the card from my hand and dashed off to pay before I could stop her. I could only sigh deeply as I watched her go.
She had been this self-indulgent from the moment we met. I didn’t even want to imagine what she’d be like once she decided we were closer. At least Audrey only flared up at Calathea’s provocations; otherwise she showed some semblance of reason. That was a relief.
“Do you now somewhat understand how much I’ve suffered because of Calathea, Manager?”
“…You really must have gone through hell.”
“Then from now on, will you permit the use of firearms—”
“That is absolutely not allowed.”
“……Tsk.”
She did have some reason… right?
“Now let’s go buy underwear, Manager! I’ll buy tons of sexy ones that match your tastes!”
“Please don’t say that so loudly…”
Calathea grabbed my wrist and dragged me straight into the women’s lingerie section. The two of them, who had probably only worn plain prison-issue underwear, lit up at the colorful, pretty designs. They each picked out what they liked and disappeared into the fitting rooms.
…It was awkward, but I had no choice but to wait outside.
“Hey, Manager…? My chest is too big and the hook won’t fasten properly. Can you come in and help me?”
“I’ll ask Audrey to bring you a larger size.”
“Aww, but I wanted the manager to help me personally♡”
“Uh, Audrey? Calathea is—”
“Not fun…. Fine, fine! I’ll just wear it and come out.”
“…Manager. If you no longer wish to hear Calathea’s nonsense, just say the word.”
“It’s fine. Just hurry up and try yours on too…”
I wanted to abandon both of them and go home. If my hair was already falling out during the shopping phase, how on earth was I supposed to survive the future? As I quietly leaned against the wall and squeezed my eyes shut, I could only pray that choosing these two hadn’t just sped up Korea’s impending doom.