Two Women Who Make You Want a Refund
The first shocking encounter, filled with nothing but bare skin, had finally faded from my mind. Now, we were finally facing each other while properly dressed.
…Couldn’t we just reset everything and start over from here?
“Hoo… Let’s start with self-introductions. We haven’t even properly exchanged names yet.”
“Okay! Then I’ll go fi―.”
“My name is Audrey Winter. As you probably already know, during my hunter days I primarily used freezing mana in the form of bullets.”
“…You cut in line. I’m Calathea. As you can see, I’m more of a physical type. I’ll use pretty much any weapon that falls into my hands.”
Audrey, with her restrained allure, wore a sleek black suit reminiscent of a mafia boss, topped with a long coat. Calathea, radiating provocative charm, wore a white crop top that accentuated her enormous breasts along with hot pants that barely qualified as clothing. The two of them looked like polar opposites at first glance, yet they shared the exact same nonchalant attitude about having shown me their naked bodies moments ago. Or more precisely, they both acted like I wasn’t even worth their attention.
‘Well, it doesn’t really matter to me.’
To me, they were simply beings who just needed to stop causing trouble and do their jobs properly. I mentally swept away the lingering images of their nude forms, then handed each of them one of my business cards.
“I’m Seong Yohan. Guild Master of Trinity, and… from now on, I’ll be managing you two to help you return as S-class hunters. When you address me―.”
“You’re the manager.”
“Manager it is.”
“…Call me whatever you want.”
It wasn’t like I was officially taking them into my guild. I was simply commissioned by the government and the association to manage the prisoner corps. So the title of manager probably suited me best.
“Alright, I’ll briefly explain our plans going forward. We’ll all be using the accommodation prepared by the government. Living expenses will come from the activity support funds we receive. And regarding the rehabilitation plan―.”
“Hey, Manager? I have one question.”
While Audrey sat elegantly with her legs crossed, listening attentively, Calathea suddenly raised her hand like an excited middle school girl, eyes sparkling.
“Go ahead.”
“Don’t we just have to kill you right now and run away?”
“Yeah, that would work.”
The moment my answer ended, a brief silence fell over the hotel room.
“…That’s it?”
“That’s it. For both me and you two.”
I had suspected she might ask something like this. It was better that she asked openly rather than hiding it.
“You have two choices. Live proudly in society by playing hunter with me. Or run away like this, enjoy a brief taste of freedom, then get dragged back by S-class hunters dispatched from abroad, re-imprisoned, and spend the rest of your lives on death row.”
“Hmm, those are some tempting options…”
“Is returning as a hunter really that repulsive to you?”
“It’s not that I hate being a hunter. It’s more that I don’t like having my actions restricted by someone else.”
“I agree with that. Committing unaesthetic acts like killing the manager and running away… I would be the one to do it.”
Audrey had already drawn her revolver and was aiming it at Calathea’s side, but the person being aimed at simply wore a delighted smile, completely unconcerned.
“See, even she’s saying that. Unlike us, you’re a completely free person, Manager, so of course you wouldn’t understand.”
“I only have two things to say about that. One, you shouldn’t have committed crimes in the first place. Two, I was also forced into managing you two.”
“Ahahaha♡ What? So you’re in the same situation as us even though you didn’t commit any crimes, Manager?”
“…Which is exactly why I have no intention of restricting you more than necessary. As long as you can fill the vacancy left by the missing S-class hunters and don’t cause trouble for other citizens, that’s enough.”
Audrey and Calathea fell into quiet thought. Of course, they didn’t really have a choice, but it was better to let them come to their own understanding and find motivation rather than forcing them through pure intimidation.
“I’m in favo―.”
“I have no objections. This level of restriction is nothing compared to prison anyway.”
“Hey, Madness. Are you going to keep cutting in and interrupting me like that? Hmm?”
“…If you insist on calling me by that name which goes against all aesthetics, then I shall create a hole in that tiny head of yours to fill in the lacking aesthetics.”
“Oh my, really? Thank you. I was just running short on breathing holes. Could you make it neatly in the very center?”
“……That’s enough, both of you.”
Calathea kept smiling brightly while practically shoving her head against the gun muzzle, regardless of my intervention. Audrey glanced at me, let out a sigh, and finally lowered her hand. I supposed I should be grateful that at least one of them listened to me. Or maybe I should feel sad that the one who ‘at least listens’ was the person who immediately pointed a gun at someone for using her nickname.
“What the hell is that nickna— ahem, that nickname anyway?”
Noticing Audrey’s eyes suddenly sharpen dangerously, I quickly corrected myself, sensing a threat to my life.
“Ahaha♡ You look so prim and proper, but you’re curious why she’s called that? It’s because―she was always doing things like this even in prison.”
“Things like this?”
When I asked back while glancing at the revolver that had been pointed at her own head, Audrey sighed from the side and spoke up.
“…Whenever I saw someone who went against aesthetics, I simply corrected them personally.”
“Yeah, with her fists. She’d keep beating them with a blank face until they begged to be killed. If she’d had a gun, she probably would’ve shot them in the head right there. Like bang―.”
Calathea mimed shooting herself in the temple with the revolver, then laughed as if it was the most amusing thing in the world. And Audrey offered no denial whatsoever. As if everything Calathea said was the absolute truth.
“This girl thinks she’s some kind of janitor for the world. People call me crazy bitch this and crazy bitch that, but the real crazy bitch is her. That’s why they call her Madness.”
“I am simply doing what I ought to do.”
“Ahaha, that statement itself is proof that you’ve completely lost it!”
So… one was a crazy bitch who was obsessively fond of anything that entertained her. The other was a crazy bitch who physically corrected anything that went against her ‘aesthetics.’
‘Ah, I understand perfectly now.’
Now that I understood… was a refund still impossible? I should contact Baek Soyun and ask if an exchange procedure was possible….
“So, Manager, what are we doing now? Are we going to test out this luxury hotel bed together, the three of us♡”
“…We’re going shopping.”
“Shopping?”
I simply ignored Calathea as she crossed her legs in a deliberately seductive manner and continued with my explanation.
“We have accommodations prepared, but you’ll need to buy your own daily necessities. We should also buy plenty of spare clothes.”
“A beautiful plan. I commend you, Manager.”
“Very well done, Manager!”
…Hearing praise from you two doesn’t make me happy at all.
“What do you want to do? Rest a bit more at the hotel, or head straight to shopping?”
“I’d like to start with shopping.”
“Hehe, then let’s all head out together to empty the Manager’s wallet♪”
This was our first outing since leaving prison without any security team monitoring them—just the three of us. Both Calathea and even the usually expressionless Audrey seemed visibly excited. There would be a lot of people at the department store… Would it really be okay? These two.
Even if it wasn’t okay, making it okay was my job.
‘Please, let nothing happen.’
Though my previous prayer had already been betrayed once, I still prayed earnestly with stubborn hope as I set off for the department store with the two women who had successfully joined the prisoner corps.
“Why is the Manager’s car so small? Can people even fit in this thing?”
“You two are riding in it just fine right now.”
“This car is utterly unaesthetic. I strongly recommend an immediate replacement for the sake of us all.”
“…Buy me a new one first, then talk.”
“Wow, the Manager’s mouth is sticking out like a duck♪ Manager, quack for me. Duck, quack quack!”
“I’m driving, so could you please leave me alone? …Ugh!”
Was this payback for what I did to Baek Soyun on the way to the hotel? But it felt a bit too harsh.
“Manager, only children under seven years old are permitted to make such a cute face with their mouth. It is somewhat aesthetic, but still…”
“Mmph, mmph, clrrgh, ughzrr, hgh, ughdgh…!”
“Ahahaha♡ The Manager’s face right now is seriously hilarious♬ ‘No, Calathea is forcing him to do this yoo…!’”
“……Pfft.”
“See, Manager! Even Madness laughed!”
“I did not laugh. And I clearly told you not to call me by that name…!”
“Manager Duck, help me! That crazy duck is trying to bully me!”
Feeling like I was about to develop a neurosis from hearing the word ‘Manager,’ and fighting the urge to crash the car somewhere, I had no choice but to endure this ordeal that was far too harsh for a mere convict like me.