The Reincarnated Dog's Grand Ambition
I am a dog. "Woof! Woof!" My father, his black fur glistening with health, barked twice. I scrambled out immediately. The other little bastards were still busy suckling on our mother’s teats in the back. Normally, puppies would have to engage in a fierce competition for milk, but I am fundamentally different from those runts. (My soul is human, after all.) I won the competition against my siblings the moment I was born, and thanks to that privilege, I secured the time to suckle on my mother’s milk to my heart's content, leaving me free from the daily milk-war.
I waddled over to my father and sat down neatly on all fours. "Grrr..." A low, nasal sound vibrated from him; he seemed pleased that I understood his command. I don't have the magical talent to understand "dog-speak," but after living like this for a while, you pick up on the vibe. He must be thinking, What a smart little guy. "Bark! Bark!" My father gestured for me to follow, and I trailed behind him. Watching his backside—the tail held high, the calloused paw pads, and the prominent, dangling "peanuts" between his legs—we walked for a long time until he stopped at a spot where a stream trickled by. *Slurp! Slurp! Slurp!* He began to drink. I approached his side and drank as well. As if he found me reliable, he rubbed his chin against my head. The coarse, bristly texture, so unlike my own soft fur, felt like a cruel form of torture—like a father with a thick beard rubbing his stubble against a child's cheek.
"Whimper." "Yip." Coming out to drink was both a patrol of our territory and a part of my education. In other words, this father dog was teaching a puppy who hadn't even been weaned yet the knowledge necessary to survive. I suppose that means I’m either highly trusted or he thinks I’m a real prodigy. Once the rough beard-torture ended and he headed back home, I wagged my tail vigorously and followed.
For us, "home" was, to be precise, an earthen burrow located at the foot of the mountain. It was a house made by digging up mounds of dirt with our paws and dragging in straw-like scraps. It was a pathetic, miserable environment, but what can you do? That’s just the life of a dog. When we returned, my siblings were sleeping soundly, seemingly full, and my mother was outside keeping watch. As my father and mother checked each other's scents and bumped heads, I focused my five senses, sniffing the air. Since becoming a dog, the one thing I’ve noticed is that my senses are on a completely different level from a human's. It’s a different dimension.
With my perked-up ears, I could hear a carriage departing from a village far away, the sound of a merchant haggling, and even a sentry arguing with a homeless person. My moist, black nose could detect the roots of edible plants buried deep in the soil and read the atmospheric pressure high in the sky, telling me exactly when it would rain. Then, a fishy scent hit my sensitive nose. I looked to the side and saw my father mounting my mother. And then, they started having sex. No, you gotta be kidding me. A child is watching with his own two eyes, and you’re doing it right in front of me? I can't say I'm jealous. The thought that I might live a life like that one day is terrifying. Don't beasts have something called a "mating season"? It’s not just the level of frustration a man feels when he hasn't jerked off; it’s an uncontrollable, maddening impulse to mate. The thought of me reaching that stage and humping some other bitch is horrifying. I will never, ever do that. I want to live as a dog in body, but a human in spirit. That is my small, humble wish.
After the long session ended, I approached my mother, who was lying on the ground panting, and suckled on her milk. I was hungry, so I had no choice.
My parents are stray dogs. Therefore, I am a stray dog. We live in the wild, and we die in the wild. We are beasts with a violent, untamed nature that refuses to be domesticated by human hands. But I, for one, desperately wanted to be raised by humans. A comfortable nest! Warmth! A job just guarding the house, with three square meals a day! Plus, since I’m a beast, it wouldn't be a crime to rub my junk against a sexy woman or get hugged by a pair of big, soft breasts. That means legal sexual harassment is possible. How satisfying is that? Damn it all.
As luck would have it, I was a male dog with a perfectly functional cock. (If I had been a female, I would have jumped into the stream and committed suicide long ago.) Anyway, I was desperately trying to find a human (a butler/owner). And this was the result:
"Grrrrr..." My mother stood before me, looking absolutely furious. She pressed her large front paw down on my head—hard. The reason for this was simple. I kept running toward the place where I could hear the sound of carriages passing by. If I wanted to be "picked up" by a human, I had to go where the humans were, right? So, every time I snuck out of the house to head toward civilization, my parents would grab me by the scruff of my neck and drag me back. As stray dogs to the bone, they were completely at odds with humans and found my behavior highly disagreeable.
"Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip!" I protested strongly against my mother's scolding. What do you want me to do? Sorry, Mom. Even if I live as a dog, I’m going to live a life of luxury. With a human brain in a dog's body, I’m a hyper-intelligent genius dog—what else could I be? If I just go to the village and pretend to understand human speech, my value will skyrocket to the heavens. I’ll become the world's greatest entertainment dog, cutting into steaks every day in a luxury facility and being pampered by beauties. There’s no way I’m staying in this dirt-hole house when I’m destined for the life of a king, a human life.
Because I was harboring such rosy dreams and actually executing the plan, I could stand up to my mother. Yeah, what can a mere stray dog mom do? I’m destined to be a great dog, and you’re just a stray. "Grrrrr..." My mother let out a menacing sound at my defiance. Hmph. As far as I knew, dogs grew up fast. This resistance would be over in a few months. I’d be weaned, I’d learn to walk, I’d leave this house, and I’d be tamed by human hands...! I’d be held in the arms of a human female and live a life of luxury! Just as I was harboring these wicked thoughts and preparing to rebel again, *WHACK!* My head was swallowed.
"A-bu-wa-ung-wang... wang-wa-eu..." As Mom shook my head back and forth in her mouth, my brain rattled, and I suffered from a splitting headache. With my fur soaked in her saliva, she finally let me go, only to trample me into the dirt with her paws again. *Sigh.* This dog-life. It doesn't suit a genius dog with delicate sensibilities like me.
It was always the same day. Waddle, waddle. I struggled desperately to reach the place where people were. After pushing through the tall grass and passing by large rocks and stones, I finally arrived at a road. The dirt path was filled with clear carriage wheel tracks and horse hoof prints. Surely, humans must pass through here. I was lucky today. Usually, my parents would have come to find me, but no one had come yet. Since I had confirmed the path humans used, the main quest was complete. I decided to hang out by the roadside and then head back home. Staying here wouldn't change anything immediately. But when I returned home...
"O... woof!" In front of our small burrow, my parents lay dead, their bodies cold. I rushed inside to look for my siblings, but no one was there. I followed the scent outside. At the end of the trail, amidst a nauseatingly damp, fishy smell and the thick scent of blood, lay another corpse—a monster with small, green skin, similar to a human. The first monster I’d ever seen in this world. Is this a goblin? I’m screwed. Based on the situation, our home had been raided by goblins, my parents were killed, and my siblings had been kidnapped. Damn it all to hell. I haven't even been weaned yet.
"Yip! Yip!" I’m screwed. I’m really screwed. I’m hungry, for god's sake! Even a hyper-intelligent genius dog needs mommy's milk during infancy! I tried suckling on my mother’s limp, dead teat, but nothing came out. Now... there is only [that method] left...!
I bolted toward the road.
-Clop, clop, clop. I waited by the roadside until the moon rose, and then I felt something coming from the end of the path. The sound reaching my sensitive ears was unmistakably the sound of a carriage. "Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip!!!" Damn it! Humans! People! Save this dog! Please! As I saw a carriage running with a lantern under the full moon in the distance, I barked like a madman. The carriage approached right in front of me. Yes! Take me with you! Take on me!
-Clop, clop, clop. But unfortunately, the carriage just passed right by. Damn it all, they didn't even slow down, as if they intended to run me over. I clearly remembered the person who looked like the coachman glancing at me, but he didn't care at all. I remember your face, you son of a bitch. The first attempt at being "picked up" was a failure. I clutched my growling stomach and returned home. It was freezing cold, and my body was shivering; I felt like I would die if I didn't sleep in a warm nest. Damn it all, I’ll definitely get chosen tomorrow.