Chapter 3
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Translator: penny
Chapter: 3
Chapter Title: Semen Man Rising (2)
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The moment I heard that voice, I can't even describe how relieved I was.
The sense of relief when you're on the verge of being slaughtered by a monster in some unfamiliar wilderness, only to run into someone you can actually talk to.
Pathetically enough, my legs felt like jelly, but I pulled together every ounce of male pride I had and stood there pretending like nothing was wrong.
Am I being too much of a scaredy-cat?
I'd nearly been stabbed every which way by that bluish murder weapon and screamed my way to a gruesome death.
When the woman who'd saved me finally stepped into view, I felt like I'd laid eyes on my personal messiah.
And those eye-pleasing tits...!!
'Huge!'
Her face was pretty, sure, but her chest was utterly overwhelming.
The woman who appeared was dressed with serious exposure—thin clothes that showed off her healthy thighs almost completely.
But for a local here, her skin was insanely pale, like she'd been oiled up or something. Not a single blemish or tan mark anywhere.
Golden hair that gleamed like it had captured the sunlight, eyes glowing with a gentle green light.
'Elf.'
No explanation needed. I just knew. Elf.
The fact that this world's elves were drop-dead gorgeous, stacked, and damn good with a bow hit me like a revelation.
"Ah, should I speak the common tongue so he'll understand...?"
Common tongue?
"You okay?"
Her accent shifted just a bit, but her voice stayed as lovely as ever.
'Huh?'
So the first thing she said was in elf language?
But how did I understand it?
I figured it wasn't from that package gift I got when arriving in this world—just the tights—so it had to be something else.
Then my words should come through fine too.
"Thank you! You saved my life."
I said it politely.
Like a man who knew gratitude.
"...Pfft."
"...?"
But the moment I opened my mouth, she whipped her head away and started stifling a laugh.
....
'She's laughing at my getup...?'
A guy in full-body white tights speaking with a serious, polite face—apparently too much for her.
She covered her mouth to hide her snicker, but her green eyes were watering. Stifling it was taking effort.
"Um, why are you dressed like that...?"
Damn!! Fuck!! Fuuuuck!!
Grahhh.
I could feel my face heating up in real time from the sheer humiliation.
That goddess... I'm gonna kill her...!!
Even to forest-dwelling elves, these tights—designed for mobility but stupidly clingy—looked utterly ridiculous, and I wanted to die from shame.
Still, silver lining.
A pretty girl laughing is a nice sight. And it let her know right away I wasn't some threatening human, no small talk needed.
"Haha... well, circumstances."
Including a creampie.
Scratch.
I scratched the back of my head sheepishly.
"Heehee..."
Nice vibe going.
Damn, those tits are massive... The thought crossed my mind as I took a step closer.
Thwip!!
An arrow slammed into the ground right at my feet like a warning to stay put. Another one, from somewhere else.
"Stop."
Another elf appeared.
Squatting on a spindly branch a sparrow might perch on, hood pulled low over her face—but I could tell she was a beauty too.
Though her chest was a step down from the busty elf who'd shown up first.
She had blue hair tied in twintails, the feisty type. Her pose showed off her inner thighs completely, panties peeking out, but she didn't care as she glared at me.
'What is this, some eroge...?'
The sight was blinding.
"Hey, Ellie, you nuts? You know what this guy's deal is before chatting him up?"
"But he was alone..."
"Could be an ambush. Ugh, damn it. Can't track deeper now because of this guy."
"Doesn't seem connected to the caravan, though?"
Suddenly they started talking.
Oh, busty girl's name is Ellie, huh.
Blonde, stacked, Ellie. Burned into my brain.
I was fighting hard to keep blood from rushing south.
In this outfit, I'm already conspicuous— an erection would make it obvious...
'But... what does she mean she can't track because of me?'
"He looks pitiful. Let's help."
"When we should be hanging humans like him from the trees, you wanna lend a hand?"
Gasp.
They're talking some seriously brutal shit!
And weirdly, they seemed to think I couldn't understand, chatting casually.
Different accent from when Ellie spoke common tongue. I could tell the difference easy enough, even if it sounded comprehensible.
'They're speaking elf language now.'
"Hold up... this guy's acting like he gets it? You speak elf?"
Bow aimed at me!
I threw my arms up on reflex. Sign of surrender.
"N-no!! Please don't! I'm just an upstanding citizen!"
"Who do you serve as king? That'll tell us if you're upstanding."
K-king I serve?!
King I serve... I don't serve any king!
"I-I don't know!"
Whish!!
An arrow grazed my cheek and thudded into a tree behind me.
This cliché from comics was terrifying after just seeing her nail an orc skull dead center.
Fuck! No time to swoon over how pretty they are. These are locals,
who'll straight-up kill if shit hits the fan. Not modern folks!
"No king? Super suspicious. Ellie, nock an arrow."
"...Sorry. We're in a spot where we have to be suspicious."
She drew too—the kind, busty Ellie-chan.
This level of wariness. I know jack shit about this world!
"Tell us. Who do you serve as king."
"I don't have one...!"
"What, some native? Every place has a lord with a sawblade or whatever. Spit it out."
"You mean the president?"
"..."
"..."
Silence fell.
"P-president? Who's that?"
"We just elected a new one, so I don't know."
"Just elected, so you don't know? What does that even mean?"
"When the term ends, the people vote for a new one..."
"Talking nonsense we can't understand."
Whew, okay. How about this?
"I serve Jesus. The merciful one who died on the cross for us all."
"..."
"..."
Truth is, I'm non-religious.
Desperate to live, I spewed whatever—now both eyed me with deepening suspicion.
"Can we talk without the bows first? Whatever's going on, I mean you no harm!!"
"Keep talking. One wrong move, you're dead."
I wanna live!!
Wanna live so bad, I spilled it all like a sob story.
"Why me!"
Wailing.
"Why do I have to die here!? What did I do wrong? All because of that goddess..."
"Goddess?"
At that, both elves' vibes shifted.
"What does a goddess have to do with you?"
"Some goddess shoved me into this ridiculous outfit and dropped me in the forest! I did nothing wrong!"
Strictly speaking, I was at fault!
But I hadn't even confronted her yet.
Unilaterally isekai'd, I had a laundry list for that goddess.
"Kana, let's help him now. That sounded genuine."
"...Faint divine aura, yeah. Probably from those clothes."
They were chatting in elf language.
Good. Finally got through.
"Then we can't just kill or punish him ourselves. Take him to the Elder."
Kana—the other elf—lowered her bow,
and Ellie followed, smiling warmly.
"Come with us?"
In common tongue.
...My heart warmed.
Like picking up a stray pup, but sweet, so it's fine. Cheers.
I lived. Survived.
"Watch it. We know you could snap any second."
Kana glared from the branch, legs spread.
....
Her saying that with legs wide open was eye candy.
"Where've you been staring since earlier?"
She realized her palm-sized panties were on display,
face flushed crimson, snapped her legs shut,
and tumbled off the branch with a clatter.
"Ow!"
"Ka-Kana!"
Even monkeys—no, elves—fall from trees...
"Y-you perv bastard... Should I just kill you!"
"N-no, you were the one spreading 'em!"
If it's that embarrassing, don't sit with thighs wide open in that outfit.
"Humans are all the same, always after elf bodies at every chance. What a joke."
She's cursing in elf, so I'll play dumb...
Her muttering thinking I can't hear? Advantage me.
"No malice, probably. Plus, you were kinda posing it right there."
"Whose side are you on!? Already sweet on this human?"
Ellie laughed awkwardly.
Things were good with her. I listened close.
"N-no, not like that. Just... he looks so pitiful, y'know? Alone here, in that outfit, chased around, on the verge of tears?"
....
To her, I was a poor stray animal.
Not even seen as a man.
But fair enough. First impressions hinge on looks, and mine? This getup.
Even a handsome face couldn't salvage it.
Such outfits only fly for movie heroes,
thanks to CG...
'Erection. Happened.'
....
The tights' ugliest part: the crotch.
Even soft, it shows the shape like meat wrapped in cling film.
Just like I got distracted by Kana's spread legs,
they couldn't help staring at my center.
It was visible.
"Kyaa...!!"
I gazed blankly at the sky.
Can't hide it...
Too big for hands, and pretending 'oops, dick out' wouldn't help.
All I could do was give sad puppy eyes.
"It's a physiological reaction. Bear with me..."
"...Sigh."
Even Kana stopped freaking out.
Seemed she got it was unavoidable.
"Stay five paces back."
"E-even with the boner okay?"
"Don't ask my permission for that!"
Then it happened.
My raging hard-on slipped right out of the tights...
Protruding right there.
My king balls dangled free like 'ah, fresh air.'
"?"
"?"
What? This blatantly sex-ready look?
White tights plus peeking dick combo was dizzying.
Rock-hard cock facing two elf strangers. Awkward as hell.
"Why're you taking it out!"
"No, it just... happened naturally? First time for me too."
Full mast means no hiding, no—it popped out!! Real life?
That goddess is probably doubled over laughing at me right now.
Fucking hell.
"Um, maybe cover with this?"
Then sweet Ellie handed me her shoulder cloak.
"Ah, thanks."
Proof that bust size equals kindness level.
I took the cloth to wrap around my waist. That's when.
- Cannot layer on (Cursed Item).
- Cannot layer on (Cursed Item).
- Cannot layer on (Cursed Item).
Whoooosh!!
"Kyaa!"
"Ah!"
A massive gust blew the cloth away,
and both elves toppled backward from the wind.
"Ow ow..."
"Wh-what was that? Wind magic...?"
"..."
Vicious cycle. Blood flow cycle, maybe...
Seeing them sprawled back there hardened me further,
couldn't cover the dick,
and despite the majestic stance, I wanted to die...