Chapter 87
Chapter 87
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Translator: penny
Chapter: 87
Chapter Title: Isekai Destruction Gallery
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[The goods have been safely delivered.]
The deal with the dwarves went through.
There was no reason to refuse it from the start.
I was able to receive a massive amount of bread balls straight to my home in an instant.
"Did you receive them okay?"
Of course, Penny did.
I'd expanded the bunker's interior size too, so she'd probably put them away nicely in the storage room on her own.
As a bonus, I also ordered some snacks along with it.
In the meantime, the dwarves had mobilized using the food I'd given them.
[Title: Booze and Hardtack Day 1]
(Image of monsters climbing the city walls)
(Image of a dwarf pouring oil on the walls while drinking beer)
As long as there's war, there's nothing to fear.
- The title and content are weird.
ㄴ Isn't it usually the opposite?
- (This is weird... knight con)
- But the rift already burst?
ㄴ For real, it popped way sooner than expected.
ㄴ Poster) We struck first.
ㄴ ?
ㄴ As expected of dwarves. They actually went and did what we'd only imagined.
It was a strategy of striking the monsters first before they could attack.
Normally, you'd fortify defenses as much as possible right up until the monster invasion.
But the dwarves had straight-up hurled spears and arrows to provoke the monsters.
Naturally, the gallery users watching this didn't react well.
"No matter how belligerent they are, isn't this a bit too much?"
Monsters were tenacious, and their forms varied wildly.
They didn't stop moving just because they were hurt like humans would—they charged right up until death.
And as expected, the monsters soon crashed against the Kilgrot city walls like waves.
For an entire week, day and night.
- Fuck, shouldn't we support them?
- If the dwarves fall, we're next...
- I got nothing to give, but if you're short on food, I'll send whatever.
Even prolonged wars usually had rest periods.
But the monsters kept crawling up relentlessly, leaving not even a moment's respite.
Seeing that overwhelming sight, the gallery users started getting anxious too.
The dwarven kingdom was truly the easternmost frontline.
If the dwarves collapsed, humans and elves would be next in line.
ㄴ Taldru) We're fine ㅇㅇ
ㄴ Do we look like weak elves to you?
ㄴ Who cares about food? Star candy's what matters.
But the dwarves were unscathed.
No, they were even finding fun in the middle of the war.
- Ooh! Star candy hardtack dropped!!!
ㄴ (Image of a dwarf cheering while holding star candy hardtack)
ㄴ Line up.
ㄴ I'll line up too, give me just one.
ㄴ Line up.
ㄴ Elf.
ㄴ ?
ㄴ (Right here, I'll kill you with my bare hands. Con)
ㄴ (Squashed elf con)
All the dwarves needed was one thing.
Booze.
Add hardtack as a side dish, and there was nothing they couldn't handle.
- Sleep when you're dead. Give us booze and sides.
ㄴ For real, booze-crazed maniacs...
ㄴ Guys whose bodies are 70% alcohol...
When thirsty, they drank booze.
When ravenous hunger hit, they shoved a pack of hardtack—great as a side—into their mouths.
At night, relief shifts came out and burned the walls with oil and fire.
And so a week passed.
[Title: Booze and Hardtack Day 7]
(Image of monsters trying to climb the city walls)
(Image of dwarves enjoying beer and hardtack while flattening monsters)
As long as there's war
You'll have nothing to fear, you evil bastards!
- Fuck, I can smell the booze from the post.
- How the hell is this working?
- No way they just drank booze for a whole week?
ㄴ Poster) I'm not drunk.
ㄴ ㅋㅋㅋㅋ Fuck
ㄴ Fact) They couldn't before because they lacked booze and food, but dwarves have always loved war.
In the end, the monsters tired out first.
Any living creature would break down from hunger, pain, and mental stress after just one day and night.
Dwarves weren't all that different.
But the difference between before and now was the presence of booze and food.
"Uahaha! I am the god of the hammer!"
"It's been ages since I got properly smashed!"
"Drunk? Who just said they were drunk?"
"Not me."
Dwarves who couldn't drink long due to repairing collapsed walls, mining, and grueling labor.
Legal binge-drinking had been permitted for them. For a whole week, no less.
Plus, the weak point of a siege—food supplies—was infinite inside the walls with booze and rations multiplying endlessly.
It was a total bunker buff map.
Naturally, word spread about the hardtack the dwarves were eating too.
- Is that the famous hardtack?
- Looks tasty, but it wasn't for sale at the market.
- Whoa, star candy looks insanely delicious ㅋㅋㅋㅋ
Other races noticed the appeal of the hardtack and wanted some, but no one could get any.
[Notice: Hardtack not for sale]
(Image of thumbs-up with bare hands)
Exclusive contract with our big-spender dwarf sirs.
Come back in 3 years.
[Recommendations 3212] [Disrecommendations 5232]
- No!!!!!
- Just let us try one, even one!!!
- Ah ㅋㅋ What're you gonna do if I block you? What if I go to Kilgrot myself?
ㄴ Brain melted from market gourmet shit...
ㄴ (Severe market addiction con)
Dwarves = Booze, Hardtack
This siege was about to cement that bizarre association in the gallery.
- Armion) Judak
ㄴ Judak*) ㅇㅇ
ㄴ Armion) Could I maybe commission some food just for us elves too?
The elves' queen, Armion, had approached.
*
Once, elves were the center of the world.
Even as humans multiplied, no one could ignore the elves.
- ㅋㅋ This is us elves.
- We used to rule the world, you know?
ㄴ What era are you talking about...
ㄴ Grandma's at it again, eat your pills and die.
Of course, that was once upon a time.
Not anymore.
Elves lacked skills in refining, processing, or manufacturing things.
Did that mean they were good at farming? Not really.
For ages, they'd sustained themselves through colonies via plundering and semi-threat barter trades.
"Whoa, this is a bit much."
Short on food?
Yeah, just plunder some.
Envious of dwarven refining tech?
Yeah, just rip it off with half-forced threats.
They were basically big-eared land Vikings.
- We need to build our own tech!
- This method won't work forever.
- Cultivate the race's own strength!
Sure, there were rational elves looking to the future...
ㄴ What're you saying? Just plunder.
ㄴ You guys half-elves?
ㄴ No wonder you reek of human, get out^^
A rational elf shows up?
Chase 'em out from the shadows, done.
Indiscriminate plundering and expulsions ignoring friend or foe had led to...
This current situation.
[Title: !Emergency! Need sugarcane yo!!]
Poster: Sezelf
Processed sugar's fine too.
Any gals for barter? ^^?
[Recommendations 0] [Disrecommendations 3]
- ㅋ
- Serves you right.
ㄴ Who barters with elves? ㅋ
ㄴ Sezelf) -_- Dwarves go to you on their own, we're not interested?
- ㅋㅋㅋ Karma properly cleared, huh?
ㄴ ㅋㅋ For real, if they grab their ears with both hands, avert their eyes in shame, and do that side-sway dance, maybe ㅋㅋ
ㄴ Dude.
No one trades with elves.
Now, their vital festival, the Elf Festival, was approaching, and they couldn't even get sugar.
- Judak*) No sugarcane?
"No way it's that bad, right?"
It seemed unbelievable, but Armion replied by attaching two images instead.
ㄴ Armion) (Image of young elves overhunting)
(Image of elf elders warmly watching fairies greedily ripping up sugarcane)
ㄴ Judak*) Ah...
It was a maddening collab that ignored age.
Thanks to that, sugarcane supply and prices inside Elad were going insane.
And there were no races willing to import sugar from outside either.
"But why hold a festival if it's that hard? Just skip it if it's tough."
It was baffling to me.
If it's hard, just don't do it, right?
I'd thought festivals were optional, not essential.
- Armion) The Elf Festival must be held once a year no matter what...
"Hmm."
But to elves, it wasn't optional.
I got why they needed sugar for the festival, but what were they asking me for?
- Armion) I saw the hardtack. You did an exclusive contract for dwarves only.
ㄴ Judak*) ㅇㅇ Yeah.
ㄴ Armion) Then, could you make some desserts just for elves to use at the Elf Festival?
"Hmm."
Desserts for the festival.
They were far away, and one side was in the middle of war—should I take the commission?
But judging from Armion's tone and the elves' gallery titles...
- Please sell some sugarcane yo!!!
- Nooo, we have to make it by that day no matter what!
- Heeeek, nooo, spare us!!
ㄴ Why are the elves collectively so scary?
ㄴ Wait, who's threatening with knives?
"Seems like a survival issue for them too?"
It didn't look like a festival or desserts the elves wanted of their own accord.
What was it... like they were semi-forced into making them.
- Judak*) Alright, I'll make some.
ㄴ Armion) Really? Thank you!
ㄴ Armion) (This gu gu dun~ elf queen con)
"Well, it's not hard to make."
Make = buy with a click from the shop.
Just browsing the dessert category in the shop brought up hundreds, thousands of options.
I recalled Armion's request above all: make it sweet and delicious.
"Sweet enough to rot teeth."
Something came to mind.
A dessert lump of sugar that looked perfect for rotting teeth just from its appearance.
[Macaron 8-pack] - 12p
Macarons.
But suddenly, before handing them over, I got curious why they were so desperate for festival desserts.
Armion was the elf queen, so she'd definitely know—I asked.
- Judak*) But why are you all so desperate for festival desserts?
"From the posts, it sounds like someone's holding knives to them."
Spare us, have to make it no matter what.
Wondering if there was some threat to the elves, Armion paused before replying.
- Armion) Elves won't eat it.
ㄴ Judak*) ? Then who?
ㄴ Armion) The World Tree will...
"Ah."
It clicked instantly.
*
The elves' biggest festival of the year, the Elf Festival.
Also known as World Tree Day.
A festival where all elves supposedly drank and enjoyed equally, but reality was a bit different.
-Slap
"Hieeek, h-here it is!"
-Slap, slap
"I-I brought mine too!"
Elves lined up before the World Tree, each holding desserts.
The World Tree, essential to elven survival.
It cared for elves with benevolence and sharing, but got neglect and sabotage in return.
Realizing peaceful symbiosis was impossible, the World Tree's next-best solution was simple.
-Slap!
"Hiiik!"
A bit of force.
- 137.7.32) (The World Tree won't hold back anymore. Con)
- 137.7.32) (Bring more... no? Bring it all! Con)
ㄴ Hieeek
On the day of the festival, held that way.
Among the desserts, the World Tree took interest in the macarons mixed in.
- 137.7.32) ?
At first puzzled by the color and shape, it soon realized these were Judak's desserts.
The World Tree quickly brought the macarons inside and placed them at the center.
They looked sweet and tasty at a glance.
Eating something like that with just its tree body would be a waste.
- 137.7.32) (Pondering World Tree con)
- 137.7.32) (Don't think so hard! World Tree con)
In the end, the World Tree undid its long seal and manifested in its true form before the macarons.
Its true appearance on the ground for the first time in centuries.
The World Tree spoke its first words in ages, in a dignified and majestic tone.
"Looks delicious."