Chapter 86
Chapter 86
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Translator: penny
Chapter: 86
Chapter Title: Hardtack Diplomacy
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“Isekai Destruction Gallery Episode 86 (87/467)
“Malphite?”
Penny poked her head into Judak’s room with a bear-like tilt.
But the bed was empty.
“Are you here?”
She checked every corner of the storage room, but there wasn’t even a glimpse of Judak’s clothes.
It had been three days since Judak vanished.
She pulled out some instant noodles and side dishes from the kitchen shelf, setting the table with practiced ease.
Just in case, she prepared two servings, including one for Judak, but he never showed.
She poked at the noodles halfheartedly before flopping onto the table, pouting as she mumbled.
“Lonely...”
The noodles were surprisingly delicious.
Judak’s bunker was overflowing with such foods, and there were mountains of fairy tale books too.
But nothing could fill the emptiness weighing on her.
Lethargy clouded Penny’s face.
*
The Isekai food shortage was mostly resolved.
Thanks to dumping cheap instant noodles, baguettes, or bottled water in bulk at the market.
- Noodles are great, they’re soup that warms the soul
ㄴ But as war supplies... kinda lacking
ㄴ Who has time to boil water? We’re in a rush
Still, it fell short for great monster war supplies.
No one had the luxury to cook noodles amid the urgency of war.
That’s where hardtack came in.
With overwhelming cost-performance and sheer volume, it was perfect as combat rations.
Human feed, plain and simple.
“Is this the food Judak sent?”
“Yeah. He said it’d be a big help for the battles ahead...”
Inside the Kilgrot conference hall.
At the center of the table where high-ranking dwarf commanders gathered sat the hardtack.
The dwarves peered into the bags with curiosity.
“Hardtack, was it?”
“Looks like a wood chip, intriguing.”
The dwarves picked up pieces with their hands, turning them this way and that.
Hardtack made for decent snacks.
Melt sugar on it over fire for dessert, or just eat it plain for a nutty savoriness.
But what Judak bought was 10kg sacks of barley hardtack, prioritized for bulk and price over taste—intimidating even for modern folks.
“Well, we’ll know once we try it.”
“When has Brother Judak ever sent us unreliable goods?”
The dwarves shoveled a dozen pieces into their mouths with their rough, meaty hands.
Crunchy texture hit first, followed by rich barley aroma and nuttiness filling their mouths.
The dwarves’ eyes went wide.
“O, oooh?”
“Mmm, hmm. Not bad. No, delicious!”
It was hardtack focused on quantity and price over flavor.
But to medieval Isekai folk starved for days on end, it was a different story.
Savory and tasty.
No mold, no rot—just reliable finished product, trustworthy.
Chewy? Nothing compared to boiling tree bark back in the day. And above all...
-Thunk!
“Your Majesty?”
“Hmm, no, it’s just...”
Dwarf King Tadain, at the head table, pulled out a massive wooden beer mug.
Yes—perfect beer snack and meal companion.
“Have a round. Pairs perfectly with beer.”
The king gave the word.
Beer mugs began filling the table one by one, as if they’d been waiting.
Formality loosened, evaluations grew bolder.
“What say you, my lords?”
“The taste is good, but the price shocks me. How can this be just 25 Isekai Coins?”
25 Isekai Coins was pocket change, even for income-strapped dwarves.
And for that, a full 10kg sack?
“Not just for battle—excellent as regular rations too.”
Shelf life was top-notch.
Months on the label, but realistically years.
And above all...
“What’s this?”
“Something wrong?”
“Your Majesty, look at this.”
Mid-beer-and-hardtack frenzy, a dwarf noble stepped forward.
In his hand: white crystals.
Pretty like gems at a glance, but surprisingly large.
“Seems they call it star candy.”
“Star candy?”
The name alone evoked mystery.
Dwarves into crafting and gems crowded around.
“Natural formation like this?”
“Man-made, tastes like sugar.”
“Sugar?”
“Mystical. How’d they shape something so tiny and precise?”
Sugar wasn’t easy to come by.
Even well-off dwarves dissolved honey or sugar in water for tea when craving sweets.
Star candy screamed high-class noble dessert.
“Mine didn’t have any?”
“Probabilistic, looks like. Only in some bags...”
“Hand some over, now!”
“Y-Yes.”
Cracking open bags, star candy appeared in about one in ten.
Tadain popped one in.
“Ooh!”
“How’s the taste?”
“Texture, flavor—clean, no stickiness. Love it!”
Medieval sweet shortages had no easy fix.
But hiding probabilistic desserts in rations?
No burnout eating hardtack like this.
“What’s your take?”
Tadain eyed a nearby dwarf.
The one closest to Judak, chatting casually: Taldrue.
Taldrue stroked his beard thoughtfully before nodding.
“Perfect food for dwarves.”
“As I thought.”
Pairs with booze.
Flawless combat ration.
Occasional star candy for sugar boosts.
Dirt cheap too—but the issue was market release.
“Once on the market, limited stock means cutthroat buying.”
“Exactly. Constant competition.”
“Bulk buy it, and hoard accusations spark fights.”
Tadain’s face hardened.
Hardtack with star candy—Judak’s gift for dwarves, right?
Market nature meant off-days too.
“So cheap, must be a hassle to produce...”
“Magic creation, no doubt.”
Archmage personally magicking desserts.
Tadain felt fresh gratitude for Judak.
Making profitless hardtack for war-prep dwarves.
Of course, Judak just store-clicked infinite buys.
Unknowing dwarves thought differently.
“Mages ignore peasant food. An archmage, especially...”
“Not for profit.”
“Pondered solely for dwarves.”
Judak helped reclaim their homeland before.
Reason he alone was “dwarf brother” despite unknown race.
Of course, just bulk store-clicks...
Tadain decided.
“Can’t cheap out on brother’s hardtack just ‘cause we’re kin.”
Dwarves halted eating, focused.
Post-kingdom reclaim, profits flowed now too.
“Received aid, must show some sincerity. Else, what sets us from shameless elves?”
“Right!”
“Dwarven pride demands it!”
Elves took the hit, but no one cared.
Dwarves agreed: too cheap.
Tadain’s call was clear.
“Dwarves monopolize hardtack.”
He stood, ending with final words.
“Draft a contract for Brother Judak.”
*
Know who Padak kidnapped?
Sadly, me.
Tried plotting escape routes in spare time, but tougher than expected.
Blame: clingy soon-to-die-succubus.
“Why? Need something?”
“No, not that...”
Didn’t you say high castle, tons of rooms?
Over three hundred-plus.
Yet she stuck to the room I got shoved into.
Sneak a glance, she ghost-senses, tilts head, locks eyes.
‘Evande.’
Got a devil left at home!
But spilling that wouldn’t end well, so zipped it.
Thus, another day of casual blood-sucking and bed-lounging.
When Taldrue pinged—from my thin contacts, dwarf gallery.
Taldrue: Brother Judak, you there?
Judak*: Yeah, what?
Taldrue: About the hardtack food you sent—got words on it.
“Hardtack? Oh yeah, sent that.”
Demon threats ramping inside/outside dwarf kingdom.
Hardtack just temp fix.
Was pondering guns if worse—why hardtack now?
Taldrue: Dwarves want exclusive on hardtack for years.
Judak*: Wat?
“No, that’s a bit...”
Food’s everywhere market-deep.
But hoarding cost-effective rations in shortage? Sketchy...
As if preempting, Taldrue hammered chat.
Taldrue: In exchange, 3 million Isekai Coins for exclusive rights.
Judak*: ?
Taldrue: Plus triple current price per deal!
Judak*: Why tho
“Cheap buy benefits dwarves, no?”
Why suddenly showering me coins?
Taldrue: Won’t forget brother’s efforts. Mere token. Please accept.
“Efforts?”
Glanced at store.
My effort: search ‘hardtack’, click buy.
Taldrue: Too low? Pay more later. Help us, please.
Dwarves suddenly bribing—er, “threatening”—me with coins.