Chapter 88
Chapter 88
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Translator: penny
Chapter: 88
Chapter Title: We Kidnapped the World Tree!
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“Delish!”
The World Tree picked up a macaron.
She stuffed them into her cheeks one after another, like a chipmunk.
The insane sweetness on the outside combined with the cushy cream in the middle made for the perfect pairing.
Unlike the vague memory she had of flavors in her tree form, tasting it in her true body made this dessert divine.
“Nom.”
As soon as one vanished, another took its place.
She had settled into the center of the World Tree hours ago.
This was the first macaron she’d tasted since manifesting, and she just couldn’t stop.
The World Tree picked up a pink macaron and stared at it intently.
The cute size and fluffy look.
“Did Judak make this? It’s the cutest thing in the world...”
A dessert that delighted the eyes as much as the tongue.
The World Tree was a divine being revered by the elves.
In elven texts, she was always portrayed as benevolent and immense.
In truth, she had spent ages trying to understand the cultures of living creatures.
“The slang this era is so fun. I’m getting addicted just typing it.”
The problem was that this era was the Gallery era.
Addicted to gallery speech, the World Tree now spoke like a real-life gallery user.
That was when she reached for another macaron.
-Rustle rustle
“Huh?”
Something rustled past beyond the stem.
The World Tree paused mid-reach and peeked her head out from the stem.
But she saw nothing.
“That’s weird. I’m sure I heard something.”
She was sure she’d seen something twitch at the far end...
The World Tree figured she’d been mistaken and was turning back when!
“Shh.”
“Gahk.”
A black figure in a mask.
It infiltrated the World Tree and stuffed her straight into a sack.
The World Tree didn’t even get a chance to resist before she was kidnapped.
*
Life is all about timing.
Meaning, when you’re sure, you gotta invest boldly.
“Hmm.”
The moment Soon-Juk-Heup finally detached from me.
I seized that split second and launched my escape plan from the Ruined Castle.
Five minutes after bolting from the room down the long hallway.
I finally reached what looked like the castle’s main gate.
“Judak is free.”
I flung open the door with gusto!
-Poof
Something slipped into my arms.
No—something had scooped me up into its arms.
“Where you off to?”
Soon-Juk-Heup looked up at me with wide eyes.
Smaller than me, yet she lifted me like a feather.
“Now, back to cuddles.”
“Jujubek.”
Erzsébet scooped me up princess-style and tossed me onto the bed.
I involuntarily dove face-first onto the mattress and returned to square one.
Escape attempt number one: failed.
“Lost out on gallery time during that escape.”
Worse, Soon-Juk-Heup’s watch on me got even tighter.
Her stare screamed she’d never let her blood pack escape.
I gave up clean and dove into the conceptual posts.
With endless posts flooding in like casual reads, conceptual posts were my must-reads.
I was about to jump into conceptual post activity without missing a beat when a weird one caught my eye.
[Title: We Kidnapped the World Tree!]
“What?”
Too lame for a troll title.
Not the kind to snag conceptual post status.
Curious how it made it there, the secret was simple: tons of upvotes.
[Conceptual Post: We Kidnapped the World Tree!]
Author: DarknessLover
(GIF of a green-haired girl locked up)
Judak, get to the negotiation table NOW
Or you’ll never see the World Tree again!
[Upvotes 5231] [Downvotes 4121]
- 1/10
- Ugh, no reliable gallery bros? Lol
- Even back in the early days we didn’t pull crap like this. DarkBro, you’re no gallery bro...
ㄴ DarknessLover) Call me by name, properly!
Of course, no one bought it.
Not until the World Tree’s IP 137.7.32 showed up in the comments.
- 137.7.32) (This post got an upvote from the World Tree!)
ㄴ What? She showed up herself
ㄴ That really you?
ㄴ Does our World Tree look like some neighborhood kid? Lol
ㄴ You think the World Tree could get nabbed by low-tier trolls like that? Lolol
But the elves didn’t laugh it off.
Who was the World Tree?
A living history book and the mana supplier for all elves—the big mana shareholder.
No way a few conspirators could kidnap her.
- 137.7.32) (It’s me, and I upvoted, con)
ㄴ ?
ㄴ Huh
ㄴ (What’s going on??? Elf con)
The problem? It was real.
Soon, a new post popped up from the same author.
[Conceptual Post: Proof That It’s the World Tree!]
Author: DarknessLover
(GIF of kidnapper begging a green-haired girl)
(GIF of the girl casting magic, room overwhelmed by plants)
We’re not messing around!
Judak, get to the table NOW!
Don’t you wanna see the World Tree ever again?!
- No way, fr?
- How’d you even kidnap her? Lololol
- Wait, then what’s that World Tree in Elrad?
“What? It’s real?”
How’d they pull that off?
The gallery flooded with reactions to the World Tree’s proof.
- (Elf clutching head con)
- Where you living?
- Heeeek World Tree!!!
- Emergency! Emergency! SUPER Emergency!!!
Especially the World Tree one-trick elves—total panic mode.
The World Tree had been kidnapped.
Overdramatizing a bit, it was a crisis threatening the survival of their race.
- W-We gotta find the World Tree NOW!
- Scatter and report by region!!
- I’m coming to save you!!!
Naturally, the elves raged and begged the gallery for help...
- ? Why me
- Lol this is fun
- Troll post delivered. Dopamine hit, good~
- (Dwarf con, is it a snowflake?)
Naturally, they got ignored.
Actually, a vibe formed casually celebrating the World Tree’s kidnapping.
- 137.7.32, behave for the kidnappers and stay healthy~
ㄴ 137.7.32) (Thanks muchly, World Tree con)
- She’s free lol bye
- No more bugs in the house now?
- Fuuuuck so jealous; wanna move too
- No housewarming gifts, but congrats I guess.
ㄴ 137.7.32) (Cat tearfully upvoting con)
For countless ages, the World Tree had suffered in the elven nest.
True to the gallery’s thrill-seeking nature, a pure celebration vibe formed.
- Th-This is illegal!
- W-World Tree? You’re not ditching us, right?
ㄴ 137.7.32) (New sacred tree GIF)
ㄴ 137.7.32) (See ya~! con)
Only the elves drowned in chaos and dismay.
- DarknessLover) Wait, this isn’t it
ㄴ DarknessLover) Wanna never see the World Tree again? Get to negotiating!
ㄴ ? World Tree?
ㄴ DarknessLover) Ugh, just cooperate!
No, one more.
The kidnappers too.
“Should’ve picked a better spot to threaten from.”
Kidnapping the now-clear-eyed World Tree for blackmail?
Wrong target, big time.
“You think I haven’t seen shitposters once or twice?”
Never seen the DarknessLover nick before.
Seemed like a fresh influx to the gallery, biting off more than they could chew.
“But time to stop trolling.”
Any more and the newbies might ragequit.
I dialed back the fun and tried talking to the kidnappers.
- Judak*) So what do you want?
“Guns maybe?”
Threateners all followed the same playbook.
Take over the gallery through me or supply modern weapons.
Obviously, I figured these kidnappers wanted the same.
- DarknessLover) Give us the triangle rice balls!
- DarknessLover) You have until dinner time!
But their demand was way off.
“Triangle rice?”
Triangular kimbap?
*
I’d once miscalculated and overbought triangular kimbap.
Meant to get 10, fat-fingered a zero and ordered 100.
Sold the extra 90 on the market, and they vanished without a trace.
“No reactions on the gallery back then.”
No one posted reviews about the triangular kimbap.
So I forgot all about it, but turns out these kidnappers were the buyers.
- DarknessLover) Give us the triangle rice balls!
“They want it, so why not.”
Kidnapping the World Tree just to demand kimbap.
I ordered 10 and shipped them over.
- Judak*) ok
ㄴ DarknessLover) ...For real?
Impressive how they shrunk after demanding it so boldly.
[Shipped 10 Triangular Kimbap!]
After delivery, the chat went quiet a sec, then a new reply from the kidnappers.
- DarknessLover) Th-Thanks!
Skilled, but weirdly noobish and awkward in the gallery.
“Kinda reminds me of...”
From the nick to the pointed ears glimpsed in the GIFs.
While I puzzled out their identity, FullbloodElf hit the chat like she’d figured it out.
FullbloodElf: Oh, I know who they are
Judak*: Oh fr?
FullbloodElf: They’re dark elves
“Dark elves?”
The race the elves exiled way back?
Heard of ’em vaguely, but they’d never shown up, so it was a surprise.
Minutes later—kimbap gone—a new reply dropped.
- Judak*) How’s it taste?
ㄴ DarknessLover) Th-Thanks for the meal. It was the best!
ㄴ DarknessLover) Anyway! Falling for such an obvious demand, you idiot Judak!
“What.”
Turns out the presumed dark elf DarknessLover wasn’t all that naive.
- DarknessLover) We’re not returning the World Tree!
- DarknessLover) We’ll grow a new sacred tree in our lands!
Ditching the elves’ homeland Elrad to raise a new sacred tree in their own turf.
DarknessLover had dropped a massive bombshell on the gallery.