Chapter 151
Chapter 151
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Translator: penny
Chapter: 151
Chapter Title: After Building the Sewers for Them
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After I built the sewers for them.
The magic beasts exploded inside the city because of it.
My house got blown away.
Snap. My eyes met Yongyong's.
'Life is all about one big break, they say.'
That apparently included one big reversal too.
'Should I pull out the shotgun?'
There was a dwarf's famed sword behind the debris too.
But the distance was too close for that.
I was just pondering what to do.
"Ah! Um..."
But Yongyong's reaction was unexpected.
"I'm sorry for being so rude all of a sudden."
She stared at me stiffly, frozen, so Yongyong cleared her throat awkwardly and stepped back.
"I was just passing by this road by chance, checking on magic beast damage and taking a stroll?"
Wasn't she looking at me all stiff and awkward, like some clunky machine?
'Does she not recognize me?'
Yongyong said she could see people's colors.
I was wearing new clothes for this outing, but could that actually be working?
Yongyong looked flustered, then suddenly remembered something and urgently asked me something.
"Uh, yeah. So what are your plans now?"
I turned my gaze toward the collapsed ruins.
It looked good to have a building on top of the bunker to cover it up.
With buildings packed densely on the streets, an empty lot just on top of my bunker would look suspicious to anyone.
"Cafe."
"Huh?"
"I'm thinking of opening a cafe."
Before the building collapsed, its original purpose had been an inn.
Of course, with no innkeeper showing up, it had sat empty like an abandoned building for a long time.
Medieval coffeehouse.
When I phrased it to match the previous use as much as possible without raising suspicion, Yongyong nodded.
"That's a good idea."
"Yeah, so then..."
"Hm? Oh, right. I was on my way somewhere anyway, so I'll be off. Take care!"
Whoosh.
Yongyong, who couldn't keep her eyes still darting around, quickly vanished into the distance.
"Something feels off."
I didn't know exactly why, but it seemed like she didn't recognize me.
I snapped the photo I hadn't been able to take before and uploaded it, then checked the notice post.
[Title: I Brought a Solution...]
[Author: Lloyd]
And right on cue, the solution I'd asked for had arrived.
*
[Ooze Magic Beast Solution Proposed]
1. Gathered city soldiers and herded them into a corner.
2. Surveyed damage to destroyed buildings and streets, planned repairs and maintenance. Provided temporary housing in the meantime.
3. (Lloyd dodging selfie meme)
[Recommendations 5931] [Disrecommendations 503]
- Lmao the pose and angle are spot on
- Look at how they even dotted the i's lol
- Fuuuuck, I'm pissed but I'll let it slide this time
"They're handling it pretty quickly?"
I'd thought it'd be slow since it's medieval, but it's faster than modern times.
Even if it was just words, there was at least a plan in place.
They'd actually herded the ooze magic beasts into a corner on the outskirts.
The problem was they'd only herded them.
- Ooze magic beast ← How do you even catch this fucker?
- Wait, this isn't a slime?
- Wasn't this the weakest type of slime magic beast?
[Title: Ah lol Got cocky so I smashed it all]
(Iron sword snapped in half meme)
(Knight selfie flying away and collapsing in the distance meme)
[Recommendations 302] [Disrecommendations 0]
- Ah lol You the slime yourself?
- As expected, the gallery emperor's humor is top-tier
- Gallery emperor is a total fucking retard fr, not reliable at all, my taxes going to this asshole suck
ㄴ Author: Just curse me out you fuck
ㄴ Pretending to be a shitposter while shitposting about pretending
Attacks didn't work on the ooze slime.
Normal slimes were weak magic beasts, and even variants could be taken down easily.
But the slime smashing up Kelliarton city's center was different.
[Title: You're not a slime, right?]
(Grenade hit but totally fine meme)
(Sword bouncing off squishily meme)
Ebanung lol
- If grenades don't work, what do you do?
ㄴ Author: Yeah just smash it
ㄴ Walking gallery report button scary;
It hadn't eaten medieval trash.
It had feasted on modern trash as its staple for months.
"Disposables, styrofoam, glass bottles..."
The fastest was on the scale of months.
Usually years to decades.
In the worst cases, over 500 years.
[Title: Yeah]
Vicious slime that ate dozens of people vs sandworm that hasn't eaten anyone yet
- Shut up and fight
- ?
- This ain't a slime anymore
- Vs game skill issue lol
It was something wearing a slime's skin.
Its danger level was now as vicious as any magic beast out there.
- Ah lol Water attacks don't work either yeah
- This thing's got high magic resistance too
- Any gallery bros on site rn?
ㄴ Me
ㄴ Yeah why
ㄴ See that knight rolling around hiding in the debris pile over there?
ㄴ Yeah
ㄴ That's me save me fuck
"No, how do you even catch this?"
If it were out in an open field, I could experiment like a lab rat, shooting all sorts of stuff. But this was inside the city.
The ooze magic beast was a clump of bacteria.
Magic didn't work, so man-made fire didn't either.
Was there a way to take it out completely without civilian casualties?
"There is."
Just turning my head while lying down showed a disinfectant spray in view.
I'd used it for cleaning or hand sanitizing, but who knows.
"It's cheap anyway, might as well."
[Disinfectant Spray 4L x1] - 9p
[Purchased 100. Items will be delivered to your address!]
So I bought it without much thought.
Unaware of the massive ripple effect it would have.
*
[Title: How to Eat Ooze Slimes Easy Like Cheese...jpg]
(Steel sword coated in disinfectant meme)
(Throw disinfectant and slime bubbling meme)
(Slime perfectly split by steel sword meme)
Just sprayed Judak's water sword and it went down that easy?? Why??
- Huh what?
- How'd you do it fucker
- It ain't just water?
"No way, it actually works."
The ooze slime was a bacterial clump.
A bacterial clump maxed out on magic resistance from eating modern trash.
So I sprayed alcohol disinfectant without overthinking, and it split too easily.
-Gurgle!
"If it had shown up in Elrad, it'd be dead already."
Humans got done in because they were human.
If it were elves who'd grab booze bottles first even when shit hits the fan, it'd have been normalized right away.
Compared to the impact that repelled steel swords, its exit was too anticlimactic.
[Title: Wait what the hell is this]
(Sword sparkling clean meme)
(Sprayed on nasty street for cleaning and it got spotless meme)
Accidentally got it on me and the ground while fighting
Thought oh shit I'm fucked for a sec, but instead it cleaned me like a bath?
Teacher Judak what even is this stuff for
[Recommendations 5832] [Disrecommendations 12]
- Judak* That? It's disinfectant that kills bacteria
ㄴ Lloyd: Pardon?
ㄴ Ba?cteria?
ㄴ Don't use hard words use imperial tongue
"Ah."
Medieval folks lacked the concept of microorganisms.
How do I explain bacteria? I shook my head.
"No, I'm a civil official too?"
I don't know either.
Do I really need to explain?
- Judak* It's water that kills harmful invisible shit yeah
So I explained it in layman's terms.
ㄴ Invisible bad stuff?
ㄴ We've got plenty of visible bad stuff here equal to gallery pop
ㄴ Nah this shit's effect is insane. Wipes ooze traces clean ㄷㄷ
[Title: Ain't this holy water?]
(Frog with hand on chin meme)
Invisible bad stuff ← wraiths, ghosts
Harmful stuff ← ooze, diseases etc.
Ooze magic beast freaked out on contact, but fine on humans
This legit holy water for exorcism??
[Recommendations 4923] [Disrecommendations 4]
- Oh?
- Nah but sprayed a bit on hand and wiped, ooze traces gone
- Reasonable suspicion?
- Bacteria ← ain't this a demon name?
ㄴ Oh plausible
ㄴ Judak* Fuck
"Hmm..."
But as always, the gallery took it one step further.
Just as I was about to comment on the totally unforeseen idea.
"Yes, Malfite-nim. Paperwork confirmed."
"Ah."
That's when the man who'd finished surveying my ruins approached and handed over documents.
"From now on, this land is officially yours, Malfite-nim, and you must put it to practical use within half a year."
"Aigoo, yes yes."
"What did you say the land use purpose was?"
"Cafe. So, coffeehouse."
The man nodded after reconfirming the usage with me and stepped back.
He was a surveyor from Kelliarton Kingdom.
He'd been checking damage in the collapsed ruins and handling compensation.
But it hadn't even been a full day since the incident.
The only reason medieval bureaucrats were working this hard was one thing.
"Judak posted the notice."
Because I wrote the notice.
Thanks to that, Lloyd, now a royal knight, cracked down on her subordinates.
The subordinates cracked down on their subordinates...
"No, well yeah that's true?"
"That's why we're working like this... Better than gallery ban..."
The surveyor, looking even more exhausted, gave a light bow and left.
"Bigger ripple than I thought."
I always just lurked in the gallery, so I knew it in my head, but it felt weird.
I watched the departing surveyor's back, then looked at the ruins.
"I said cafe to avoid suspicion..."
Even medieval times had cafes.
Coffeehouses, beerhouses, alehouses—whatever house you named it.
"Guess I need to hire some help first?"
[Title: Kelliarton Help Wanted Urgently]
Author: Secret of the Civil Ghost
(Ruins of the building meme)
Hourly: 7 silver coins
Job: Clear debris
Gender irrelevant
"This should do."
I almost put 10 silver coins and meals provided.
From what I'd heard, I was the only one paying that much.
No point advertising it.
Of course, I didn't plan to actually pay that.
"Meals can be surprise-provided."
Hourly I'd adjust later as a completion bonus.
"This should get me some help?"
Just as I thought that and was about to post the notice.
*Ahem, ahem!*
"?"
Right as my mutter ended, a familiar voice rang out.
"Looking for work? No, people to hire?"
Poking her head out from between the debris was Dragon Will Die from this morning.