Chapter 39: Cleanliness is Life
Translator: RaidenTL
Chapter 39: Cleanliness is Life
If the Abyss had one advantage over the surface, it was probably the air quality.
It was a difficult thing to comprehend. The wind comes from the sky, and it’s a well-known fact that the air on the ground, which holds all sorts of filth, is dirtier. So why would the air in the Abyss, the place farthest from the sky, be so clean?
It was due to the unique nature of the Abyss itself.
This place was cursed by Mother Earth, so her flesh and blood—the soil and dust—avoided it as if by natural law. This was why the wasteland hadn't been eroded despite the Abyss’s massive presence. With no dust falling into it, the place was surprisingly clean.
In addition, the Abyss had no bottom. To borrow a phrase favored by mathematicians, it meant that no matter how far down I was, there was always a place further below. Consequently, anything heavier than air simply sank lower.
The air that should have stagnated all drained downward. If you ever felt a rare breeze in Tantalus, it was a lost fragment of wind falling into the Abyss. This stranded wind would embrace anything that dissolved into it, like dust or smells, and flow down through the countless holes riddling the Abyss. As a result, the air inside the Abyss was exceptionally clear and clean.
When measuring quality of life, the question of whether there is something below you is a far more important indicator than where you are. All the filth falls to the very bottom to fester.
From this, we can indirectly learn that happiness is a relative value.
Still, the fact that the wind was scarce and the air was heavy remained unchanged, but how could I not be grateful that it at least guaranteed healthy breathing?
…Perhaps, belying Mother Earth’s curse, the Abyss was a rather pleasant place, aside from the lack of light.
“Woof! Woof woof!”
Another refreshing morning with my dog alarm. I stretched my arms out wide and took a deep breath of the fresh air through my nose.
“Aaa-choo!”
“Mrowf!”
A sneeze erupted like a bomb. An unexpected morning guest seized my lungs. Azzy, startled, brought her paws to her chest and stared at me.
Tsk, a violent sneeze in the morning usually ruins my condition for the day. It shocks the muscles.
But why the sudden sneeze?
“Has a lot of dust built up after just a few days…?”
As I wiped my nose, I faintly saw something floating in the air. I frowned, glaring at the object drifting through the room. It was hard to see due to the lack of light, but that golden, long, slender, and flexible thing…
“Fur?”
“Woof!”
Azzy barked at me. Just then, the fur on her head, hands, and feet caught my eye. It was a mix of brown and gold—no, it looked like it was originally gold but had become filthy with grime.
That fur was the exact same color as the thing floating in the air. Dirty and caked in dust.
Hmm.
“Azzy.”
“Woof?”
“Want to go get some pork cutlets?”
“Woof! Yes, yes!”
She had no idea what a pork cutlet was, but she was eager to go eat. I gave her a bright smile.
* * *
Water flows downward. It travels between the sky and the earth, acting as a messenger delivering love letters between the Sky God and Mother Earth. Therefore, the liquid, not belonging entirely to Mother Earth, instinctively seeks lower ground, even if that place is the Abyss.
But the Abyss is an infinite chasm. Even the most adorable paratroopers, descending from the clouds to the earth in a single leap with their convex parachutes, would simply fade away in the Abyss, forever reaching for a ground they could never touch. The water that dissolved into the air became just another part of the atmosphere, drifting about.
The State’s special water tank was designed to collect this vaporized water. When moisture condensed on the giant collector enchanted with Aqus spell, it flowed through a filtered pipe into the tank. There, it would wait silently until someone below turned on a faucet.
Because of the prison break, water usage had dropped significantly, and the tank was now brimming. With the humans gone, abundance had arrived.
After checking the water level, I nodded in satisfaction.
“Good. This should be more than enough to wash that mutt.”
I turned off the main valve to the tank and connected a hose to a pipe instead. I opened the hose to test it, and water gurgled out as if it were blocked somewhere. The water pressure was weak, likely due to the small difference in elevation. It would be better to draw the water beforehand.
I took the hose and a tub, set them up near a drain, and called for Azzy.
“Alright, Azzy…”
But when I turned my head, she had already scampered far away. She hid behind a square box and barked as if the hose in my hand were a gun.
“Woof.”
“Azzy. Come here. You need a bath.”
“Woof.”
“What do you mean, no? Look at your hands and feet.”
Azzy did as I said, lifting her hands and feet to look at them. All sorts of dust and grime were hidden between the fluffy tufts of fur that looked like plush gloves.
It looked dirty, but it was actually quite tame. If we were on the surface instead of in the Abyss, that four-legged, self-propelled duster would have been parading through Tantalus, sweeping up every speck of dust.
“See? It’s dirty, right?”
“No, it’s clean!”
“What are you talking about? You call that clean?”
“Woof! I lick my fur sometimes! It’s clean!”
Azzy then brought her tongue to her paw. She was about to lick that breeding ground of disease.
Haha. Has she lost her mind?
“Stop!”
“Woof!”
Azzy froze, her tongue poised, and darted her eyes around. I sighed, put down the hose, and walked toward her.
“Are you a cat? You never lick yourself, but now that I mention it, you suddenly feel the urge? Don’t. It’s filthy.”
“Woof! I’m not dirty!”
“You are. You’re covered in dust. You smell, and you’re shedding a lot.”
“Woof! You shed a lot, too!”
“Don’t compare your fur to my hair! They may both be things that fall out, but they’re in completely different genres!”
Fuming, I walked over to Azzy, slipped my hands under her armpits, and started dragging her. She squirmed, clearly reluctant, but at least she didn’t just bolt.
But as we got closer to the hose, Azzy’s feet went rigid, her claws digging into the ground. Her body was fixed in place as if nailed down—no, as if she were literally embedded in the concrete.
“Ha, honestly. I can’t just drag her like this…”
My opponent was a Beast King. I was no match for her strength.
This was a time for the fable of the North Wind and the Sun. If I couldn't move her body, I would have to change her mind. I leaned over her head and spoke.
“Azzy. Come on. Let’s just get you washed up.”
“Woof.”
“I’ll make you something delicious when we’re done.”
“Woof…”
The mention of delicious food seemed to make her hesitate. Why does she only move when she’s offered a bribe? I didn’t even have to do this much when I was sweet-talking the State’s officials. Is this dog more stubborn than a prime minister?
But what could I do? The weaker one has to yield. And this dog was stronger than most prime ministers.
I whispered sweet words into her ear.
“Remember that hamburg meat from before? The dish where you grill the meat, heat the pan with its fat, and once the pork lard is hot enough, you fry the patty made from ground beans and meat.”
“Woooof…”
“But actually, that hamburg was incomplete. It lacked cohesion, so the texture fell apart. It was no different from meat paste fried in a pan. But this time is different. There were eggs in the supplies, and butter too. They were stingy and didn't even give us a full block, but… anyway. This time, I can make a perfect hamburg patty that holds together as one and cooks in plenty of fat.”
“Woof…”
I stimulated her synesthesia. The tension drained from Azzy’s body. When I pulled again, her claws slid out of the ground. A triumphant smile on my face, I dragged her over to the drain.
“There we go. Good girl, good girl…”
Alright. First, get her clothes off. Then, toss her in the tub and douse her with water. After a good scrubbing, I’ll wash her clothes while she dries off. It would be nice if she had a change of clothes, but all that’s left here are Clothing Packets. Azzy doesn’t have a Bio-receptor, so she can’t wear them. Hmm. I guess she’ll just have to wait while she dries.
The plan was set. I let go of Azzy for a moment and turned on the hose to fill the small box I was using as a tub. The trickling water fell into the box, the sound of the droplets drumming against the surface echoing.
“Woof.”
Whoosh.
And just like that, the mutt made all my effort pointless and darted far away, letting out a short, guilty-sounding bark.
“Woof.”
I covered my face and let out a deep sigh. It’s not like she’s a queen or something. I’m offering to wait on her hand and foot and give her a bath, and she refuses even that?
No, wait, she is a king. But she’s not my king. At best, she’s the Dog King.
I was getting angry. I’d been playing along until now, feeling like I was raising a cute puppy, but if she was going to be this selfish, I had no reason to put up with it anymore.
“Woof…?”
Azzy barked cautiously at me. She seemed to have noticed my anger, glancing at me furtively.
That didn't make me feel any better. In fact, the fact that she knew I was angry and still didn't come over immediately was deeply infuriating.
Furious, I plopped down on the ground.
“Hey. Azzy.”
She flinched when I called her name. I sat with my legs crossed and my arms folded, my body language closed off as I spoke with raw emotion.
“Are you really going to be like this? Even after you saw me sneezing just now?”
Bang, bang. I slammed the basin I’d prepared on the floor. Azzy jumped in fright, a guilty look on her face.
A trembling voice, a contorted expression, ragged breathing.
The clear signs of anger.
Dogs are man’s oldest friend, and they can read human emotions to some extent. No, perhaps they understand them far better than people do. Humans learn to hide their feelings from others under the guise of ‘politeness,’ but they don’t bother being polite with dogs. That’s why people love them.
In any case, I was angry, and I had no intention of hiding it. Just as I intended, Azzy clearly understood my mood.
“I cook for you, play ball with you, and go on walks with you! I call you every time I eat and pet that filthy fur of yours every single day! I do so much for you! Why won’t you even take a bath?!”
“Whimper…”
Terrified, Azzy tucked her tail between her legs. But that wasn’t enough. I was only going to ease up once she came to me on her own.
And if she didn’t?
That would be the end of it. This tiresome bond with this mutt would be over. I was prepared to abandon her in my heart.
“I wouldn’t care if you only lived in the yard. But you come inside the building! Sometimes you even get on my bed! You’re making my living space filthy! Do you think I bathe every day for no reason? Unlike you, I need to be clean!”
“Whimper, whine.”
“If you can’t even tolerate this much, then you’re not the Azzy I know. From now on, the first thing I’ll do when I see you is kick you. Got it?”
“Whimper…”
It seemed the bond we’d built wasn’t for nothing. Honestly, if she had run off, I would have felt a deep disillusionment with animals. But Azzy, not wanting to sever our connection, watched me cautiously and slowly crept closer.
Phew, well, at least she came. I sat her on my lap and wrapped my arms around her. Then, with my right hand, I turned on the hose and let the water flow into the box.
The falling droplets and the rhythm they created as they struck the surface of the water. It was the refreshing sound of filth being washed away, but to Azzy, it must have sounded like a requiem for evil spirits. She squeezed her eyes shut as if she had goosebumps, clamped her mouth tight, and turned her head away from the sound.
Even so, she didn’t break free from my arms and run. Commendably, she was enduring it.
A good attitude. I turned off the hose and stroked her head.
“There, you did well.”
“Woof…”
A weak cry. I didn’t like this either, but it couldn’t be helped. We would be spending several more months together, and I couldn’t have us cultivating diseases by exchanging dust and germs every time we touched.
Seriously, if this wasn’t the Abyss, I would have fallen ill long ago.
“Alright. Let’s get your clothes off first. Arms up.”
Azzy, still keeping her eyes squeezed shut, raised her arms about halfway. I started to pull her shirt off, but it caught on something. I looked at her clothes again.
Whoever had done it had tied the shirt tightly just below her chest. It was knotted so forcefully that it wouldn’t come undone easily. It seemed to have been done to prevent the clothes from coming off, or perhaps to stop someone from trying to remove them.
“Honestly. The things people do.”
A Clothing Packet provides clothes that are a perfect fit for the wearer’s body size. The same goes for the standard-issue shirt worn underneath. The sleeves and collar are snug, so you can’t put it on or take it off the old-fashioned way without using the packet. There’s no extra fabric like this.
But Azzy, lacking a Bio-receptor, couldn’t use a Clothing Packet. So they must have put her in a shirt that was several sizes too big. That would mean it would sag or come off easily, and they would have needed to tie up the excess fabric to prevent that…
“Who would try to take a dog’s clothes off…?”
…But now that I was conscious of it, it felt strange. Whatever Azzy’s true nature was, what I saw was undeniably a female form, and it was making me oddly self-conscious. Are humans ultimately creatures bound by appearances?
Well, whatever. It was a useless thought. I’m a normal person. I should just finish taking off her clothes.
The tightly knotted fabric hindered my work. But who was I? I was the magician of the back alleys. A master of dexterity who could tie and untie his own hands, who could form a knot with a single finger. This was nothing.
If I stick my finger in that gap and gently twist, it should loosen. Good. Let’s untie this quickly and toss her in the tub…
It was then that the Regressor appeared at the rooftop door. Her hair and parts of her clothes were damp with sweat, as if she had just finished training.
“The water’s not running here. Did you shut off the tank? Without saying anything…”
The Regressor, who had been brushing a stray strand of hair from her forehead, froze when she saw me. In an instant, her eyes narrowed, her sharp gaze sweeping over me and Azzy.
‘He has Azzy on his lap, restraining her from behind while trying to take off her clothes. Azzy is trembling with her eyes shut tight.’
The Regressor’s thoughts were remarkably short. In the purest sense of the word. She thought only that far and then drew Chun-aeng.
‘Good. I’ll kill him.’
Wait. Isn’t there a leap in logic there? More importantly, how do ‘Good’ and ‘I’ll kill him’ even go together? Killing is not good at all, you know?
Her hostility swelled. I quickly hid behind Azzy and shouted.
“Wait a minute! This isn’t what you think!”
“Skyblade Art. Thunderbird…”
“STOOOOOP!”