Help Me!
The moment I swung the frying pan, the Fox God snapped straight back into her spiritual form, looking thoroughly puzzled. She even had the gall to ask questions with the brazen confidence of someone who hadn't done a single thing wrong.
"Why are you angry? I handled the matter properly, so you ought to praise this lady, no?"
"Praise? Did you just say praise?"
I was so dumbfounded the back of my neck went stiff.
Did she genuinely not know what she'd done? If she didn't, there was something wrong with her intelligence, right?
No—wait. Thinking about it, yeah, there was definitely something wrong with her.
If she'd had a functioning thought process, she wouldn't have fired a TS Beam just because someone used her as fap material.
Feeling rage surge up from the depths of my gut, I hurled curses at the Fox God.
"What the hell were you thinking telling her to come find me, you crazy bitch?! We could've just let it slide!"
"Are you telling this lady to keep enduring that frustrating situation? Watching it made me feel like I'd die of pent-up rage, so I simply resolved it. What exactly is the problem?"
"Then just die of pent-up rage! Thanks to you, the situation got even more complicated!"
Right before hanging up, that damn Fox God had blurted out our home address.
Since she'd told the editor to come meet us first, that pathetic little chuunibyou editor would almost certainly show up at my house.
If I greeted her in my true form, it was a one-way ticket to a research lab. If I used Temporary Transformation, she'd try to fuck me somehow. What the hell was I supposed to do?
"It'd be so much easier if she weren't human—but the other party is human, you know?"
As I clutched my plump, fluffy tails tight over this headache of a problem, the Fox God tilted her head.
"She is not human, though?"
"What?"
"That woman is not human—she's a succubus. By grade, a low-rank succubus, somewhere between the lowest and lower tiers. You… surely you didn't know?"
At the Fox God's tone—as if asking how on earth I could have missed it—I fell into thought instead of answering.
No wonder her voice was so captivating it could slap a voice actress across the face a few times. She was a succubus.
Well, with shamans and yokai running around, it would be weirder if there weren't succubi.
I nodded in agreement.
"Honestly, I had no idea. She approached me disguised as an editor—how was I supposed to think 'succubus'? I thought she was human."
"For that, there were quite a few clues, no? Mentioning a demon god, or being far too deferential toward a hikikomori shut-in loser like you."
"I figured the demon god talk was just some cult nonsense or regular chuunibyou. The constant deference was a bit suspicious, though."
Learning that the one coming to my house wasn't human but a succubus brought a wave of relief—yet a corner of my heart started growing uneasy.
Surely that succubus wasn't some crazy lesbian obsessed with fucking me… right?
There was a possibility.
She'd said she knew my identity and desperately wanted to meet me, so she might well be a crazy lesbian trying to violate me.
I shook my head in pure revulsion and called out to the Fox God.
"Fox God."
"What is it?"
"I'm starting to hate yuri."
"Weren't you just saying you liked it because two clits getting off was hot?"
That was when I wasn't the one getting done.
When someone came at me like a lioness in heat trying to violate me somehow, how was that supposed to be hot?
Of course, if it were that black-furred eight-tailed fox lady who'd visited last time, I might consider it—but a succubus?
"Why would I do anything with a zero-attraction species whose only tools are charm and sex techniques? Getting fucked only works if the other person is hot. No matter how I look at it, succubi are a genuinely unattractive species."
"…You might be the only one who says succubi aren't an attractive species."
"No? There are probably more than you think. Think about it for even a second and all their charm points fall apart."
You might think I'm talking nonsense, but this is the absolute truth.
Compare them to fox beastmen—who are pure charm incarnate—and you'll see it easily.
Alright, then. Let's do a simple comparison between fox beastmen and succubi.
Do succubi have plump, fluffy, soft, cozy tails?
No. They only have thin little tails that aren't plump at all—just usable as fap material or handles.
Then do they at least have perky, fluffy ears?
No? They only have horns that serve as handle substitutes with zero cuteness whatsoever.
And finally.
When you think of the species, can you picture a pure, innocent image? Can you think of them as pure virgins?
Fox beastmen can easily be thought of as virgins. They're seductive, sure, but they still carry a certain pure, innocent image.
Simply put, most of them preserve their virginity for true love—making them a species optimized for pure romance.
But succubi?
Aren't they fundamentally a species obsessed with sex?
A sex-crazed species maintaining their virginity? Wouldn't "a saint is lewd" sound more believable?
There might be mutant virgin succubi who feel no sexual desire and never have sex, but most succubi are non-virgins.
Therefore, succubi can be said to have absolutely no charm compared to fox beastmen.
Want to argue?
Don't.
Your words are wrong and mine are absolutely right.
"Anyway, I don't want to do anything with a succubus, so I need to prepare. I'll ask my friend for help."
"Didn't that human say he'd go into seclusion two or three days ago?"
"I just need to send one text. Even so, he's a twenty-first-century person—he'll check his phone eventually."
With that, I sent a text to my ball-buddy friend.
Kieeeeeek!!!
Starving hungry ghosts filled the surroundings, eyes gleaming as they charged at me all at once.
To fill an eternal hunger that would never end.
And to devour me, escape their lowly existence as hungry ghosts, and ascend to a higher being.
They shrieked and split their grotesque mouths wide open—but I kindly split those mouths for them with my Executioner's Sword.
"I'm pretty sure I cleaned this place out recently—when did they multiply this much? What a pain."
I exploded my yang energy to burst the hungry ghosts and carefully split them one by one with the Executioner's Sword until only three remained.
I charged the terrified hungry ghosts and beheaded all three at once, then tossed hellfire to clean up the mountain of corpses.
Whoosh! Crack… crack!
The hellfire greedily swallowed the hungry ghosts' bodies and grew larger. I watched the mountain of corpses gradually disappear, then sheathed my Executioner's Sword.
"Looks like there are no more hungry ghosts around here, so I should head back to HQ for my pay."
I spread my yang energy wide to sense the surroundings—no hungry ghosts. Judging everything cleaned up, I slowly started walking toward headquarters.
"…Still, even after killing this many, I can't get my thoughts in order. Normally I'd have sorted everything out by now."
Remembering the golden fox who had once been my friend, my head grew complicated all over again.
At first I'd clearly thought of her as a friend and treated her comfortably—so why did she look more and more like a woman as time passed?
I'd barely suppressed my lust by overlaying my friend's old face onto that beautiful form, but now I was truly at my limit.
"If she'd been completely human-looking, I wouldn't have gotten hard—but with those plump, soft tails and perky fox ears, how am I supposed to hold back?"
She'd even transformed into the form closest to my tastes during heat.
Wafting the scent of a female begging to be injected with ten months' worth of period vaccine—holding back then had been pure torture.
"Haa… Even the hypnosis doesn't work anymore. I can't remember what that guy looked like as a man. Honestly, no matter how I think about it now, she's completely fuckable."
Back when the recognition that she was a guy was still drilled in, there'd been a slight aversion—but now I just thought of her as a female who claimed to be a man.
And that very point had become a turn-on that stimulated my lust even further.
If she just gave permission, I was confident I could have a good time with her right then and there.
"If you're gonna come out as a girl, hurry up already. I can barely hold back."
If she hadn't been a friend, I'd have violated her the moment we met—but she was a genuine ball-buddy friend of fifteen years.
I didn't want to hurt her by starting a relationship, so I had to wait until she opened her heart first.
But I'd clearly put distance between us to hold back—so why was my lust growing bigger as time passed?
I'd thrown ascetic living to the dogs and was jerking off five times a day to reduce my lust—so why was it amplifying?
"Did I get hit too hard by the pheromones back then? I'm seriously going crazy."
Clutching my throbbing head from the rising lust again, I turned on my phone for the first time in a while—and found a ton of texts, messages, and missed calls piled up.
I'd only gone without my phone for a few days. Had something happened in that time?
I checked the missed calls packed full of my friend's father's number, then—with an ominous feeling—immediately checked the texts.
Yoo Seong-hun—no, Yoo Seong-ha.
What the hell did you pull while I had my phone off for a few days.
You fucking bitch.