The Hikikomori Outcast Loser Fox and the Cowardly Succubus
While fretting over how to draw a fox beastkin mama even more arousing, I realized I'd completely forgotten one crucial fact.
Namely, that I was already several bowls deep into counting my chickens — without even having signed a contract.
Cursing myself for the idiocy, I hastily stopped rough-sketching and went back to carefully re-reading the sponsor's email from the top. By the time I'd finished every word, I was frozen solid in place.
"They're entrusting the first-anniversary stream… to a nobody like me? Is this person for real?"
I was confused.
No — this had blown right past confusion into something else entirely.
I'd thought it was just an ad deal. Now they wanted me to run a massive event like this?
In gaming, a first anniversary was a pretty big deal, wasn't it?
They said the game was making serious money, right? So shouldn't they be throwing more cash at some famous streamer instead?
Why me, of all people? I had zero connection to their company or their game.
As the panic washed over me, a rather good idea suddenly struck.
Come to think of it — hadn't I originally planned to use the ad to shepherd those loli-mama-loving perverts with abnormal sexual tastes onto the righteous path?
So if I unleashed the power of a true mama on a first-anniversary stream of this scale… couldn't I convert even more pedophiles onto the road of normal desire?
"The normalization of every pedophile's sexual appetite — that alone is the only salvation…"
Convinced I'd just landed a golden opportunity to turn abnormal lusts into healthy ones, I immediately started drafting a reply.
After firing that reply off to the sponsor, I turned back to the editor situation and started fretting all over again.
How was I supposed to handle this one?
Was there any way to sign a contract without meeting face-to-face?
The editor wanted an in-person signing, but unfortunately, a whole pile of factors made that impossible.
My body had changed, sure — but the hikikomori shut-in personality with crippling social anxiety was still fully intact. And while my new look was very much my type, to any ordinary person's eyes I was basically a monster, not a beauty.
"I'll just call first. Call and lock it down early that we can't meet. What choice do I have? Field research is worse than death."
I took a deep breath and dialed the number listed in the email. The ringtone hummed for a moment, and then the editor picked up.
"Yes, who is this?"
A voice so captivating it could charm anyone of the opposite sex on the spot.
But to someone with zero resistance to strangers like me, that voice wasn't charm — it was pure terror.
"H-hiiik…"
My mind went completely blank.
What was I supposed to say? Introduce myself like a normal person? Or cut straight to the contract terms?
Tens of thousands of thoughts swirled through my head and short-circuited every last one of them. In the end I just froze up like a broken machine, every action grinding to a halt.
I felt so stupid. Such a total loser.
When I talked with friends or family, or bantered with viewers on stream, the words poured out smooth as silk.
So why couldn't I even manage an ordinary everyday conversation with anyone else?
I tried to muster some courage and speak slowly — but the second I opened my mouth, my head blanked out again. I was about to sigh and hang up.
But then.
"I definitely heard the streamer's voice just now. Why aren't you saying anything?"
"Come on, no way you're too embarrassed to talk… A god or Transcendent who came down to play couldn't possibly be a hikikomori shut-in, right?"
"Transcen— I mean, Streamer? You're testing me right now, aren't you? You are, right? Please, please tell me this is a test…!"
She'd started out so confident, only to dissolve into sniffling patheticness — and it was so funny I snorted, then finally managed to speak in a calm voice.
"It's not a test. And sorry — I just needed a second to think."
"R-right? You're not testing me, right?! I-I'm saved… O Demon God, thank you so much for hearing this lowly one's prayer…"
A sigh of relief tumbled out alongside a string of hard-to-ignore remarks, but I just wrote it off as a terminal case of chuunibyou and let it slide.
And thanks to her sheer patheticness, my nerves were finally starting to settle — so I brought up the contract.
"By the way, you mentioned wanting to meet in person to sign, right?"
"Yes! I-I did say that, but…! If you don't want to, Streamer, there's no need to force a meeting!"
"Could you do that for me, then? I'm sorry, but personal circumstances mean I can't really go out right now."
I let my guard down, thinking it'd gone surprisingly smoothly — only for the editor's next words to freeze my brain all over again.
"Personal circumstances… so it's because of your 'true identity,' isn't it, Streamer?"
That sharp question, landing while I was completely unguarded, left me silent and speechless — and that was when the Fox God manifested and snatched the phone right out of my hand.
"Truly a frustrating and foolish creature. When the other party comes in with their head already bowed, you press the advantage — why do you keep handing them opportunities?"
Huffing with pure irritation, the Fox God snarled into the phone.
"Judging by the filthy demonic energy laced through that voice, thou art a lust demon, are you not? If you so desperately wish to meet, then meet we shall. Surely you would not dare tell this lady to come to you — so present yourself, and bow that insolent head. Understood?"
"Y-yes, ma'am!!!"
"Hang up, you filthy lust demon. Even hearing your voice makes my ears feel soiled."
"I'm sorry!!!"
The editor hung up looking as cowed as a raw recruit getting chewed out by a drill instructor, and the Fox God puffed up with smug pride, demanding praise from me.
"Did you see that? This lady resolved the matter in a single stroke! Cherish me! Praise me! Look upon me with awe!"
…Resolved, my ass. The one who'd just made everything so much worse was strutting around like she'd done something great?
What a completely useless creature.
I pulled a fresh frying pan out from under the bed and gifted her a solid hit instead of praise.
"Shut up!!!"
CLANG!!!!!
At the very same moment the Fox God and Cheonho were bickering back and forth — the succubus's hideout.
Staring at the expensive phone that had just been smashed to pieces, the succubus began trembling from head to toe.
"What do I do…? This time I think I'm actually screwed…"
Crunch… crunch!
Anxiously gnawing on her nails, the succubus carefully replayed what the Transcendent had said just moments ago.
"…She definitely called me a filthy lust demon, right? So that means a Transcendent who hates lust demons — if I just show up like this, won't I get torn apart and killed on the spot?"
Imagining herself dying horribly under a Transcendent's merciless hands, the succubus shook her head and forced herself to think.
No. Even if I get dragged into the fox den, if I just keep my wits about me I can survive. If I put a proper plan together, I can at least keep my life.
A brilliant plan to win that Transcendent's heart, that is.
Having finished thinking, the succubus used her demonic energy to roughly repair the phone, then contacted the demonkin she was closest with.
"If it's this unnie, she'll know some genius way to save my life, right?"
Sure, she was a washed-up demonkin who'd been corrupted into pure yuri love by the Heavenly Realm's Goddess Xalare — but in a desperate situation like this, she could still be useful.
The succubus took one deep breath to steady herself, then dialed the vampire.
Beep — beep — beep — click!
A brief stretch of ringtone, and then someone answered.
"Hello?"
A voice far too bright and high for any demonkin.
And a divine power so overwhelming that just hearing it felt like she was about to get purified.
Confirming who was on the other end, the succubus's face went rigid with despair.
One mountain after another — first a Transcendent, and now Goddess Xalare?
O Demon God, why do you heap such trials upon a perfectly ordinary succubus like me.
Am I a discarded child? Is that what you're saying?
"Should I just kill myself? Honestly, dying right now might be the easiest option."
Letting out a deep sigh, the succubus put on the brightest tone she could manage and asked the goddess a question.
"Is this not Roxy unnie's phone, by any chance?"
"Roxy 'unnie'? Hehe… it is, but why do you ask?"
"I need Roxy unnie's help. If it's not too much trouble, could you put her on for just a moment?"
"Hmm…"
The goddess fell silent, as if pondering something, and the succubus fidgeted in place, fretting over her own safety.
Did I do something wrong? No matter how hard I think, I can't come up with anything. I was polite! I was careful not to be annoying! Why is she doing this to me!
While the succubus was deep in her own miserable spiral of delusions, the goddess finished her deliberations and slowly opened her mouth.
"I'm sorry to say this, but Roxy is currently unconscious. She won't be able to take the call."
"Ah, is that so? Then later—"
The succubus was about to hang up without a second thought, but the goddess cut her off as if that weren't an option.
"Judging by your voice, it seems rather urgent. Would it be all right if I helped you in Roxy's place?"
"I'd rather not take help from someone I don't even know."
"It's fine. Don't feel pressured — just tell me. What can I help you with?"
"No, really, you don't have to help—"
At first she fiercely refused, wary of whatever scheme the goddess might be cooking up. But the fear of death won out in the end, and the succubus found herself asking the goddess for help after all.
"Then please tell me how to win a woman's heart. The most effective method."
Hearing the succubus's question, the goddess gave a sly little laugh and delivered, quite literally, the most effective method there was.
"…Will that really solve it?"
"Yes~ Of course!"
Blowjobs are all-powerful, after all.
Slurp.
From inside the phone, the goddess quietly licked her lips.