Starting to Live Alone
Now that I'd gotten into university, I needed to find a place to live.
The problem was, by mid-February, all the affordable and decent places were already taken. No matter how much I searched, I couldn't find a decent room near campus.
"But I really don't want to commute..."
Since I'd decided to change anyway, I wanted to completely overhaul my environment from the ground up. I'd been holed up at home all this time, so I figured it was time to develop some kind of self-reliance.
After mulling it over for a moment, I let out a sigh and opened my banking app. Well, turning my hobbies into something productive had really paid off. This much should be fine, right?
"Let's just go for a genuinely nice place."
With my parents' support, I'd be able to live comfortably for at least a few years. I had to do my military service anyway...
Right as that thought crossed my mind, a sudden realization hit me. At my current weight, wasn't I eligible for exemption?
"Ah, shit. Suddenly I really don't want to lose weight anymore."
Current weight: 103kg.
But gaining it all back would mean wasting the 27kg of fat I'd spent the last year shedding.
Maybe I could get out of it with my history of depression?
*
Once I raised my budget a little, finding a place was easy.
Less than a week after getting my acceptance call, I'd already secured a room and moved my belongings.
"So this is my home now."
I wiped the sweat I'd worked up from moving and looked around the room.
A 13-pyeong fully furnished one-room with a separated layout.
For a college student's place, it was pretty luxurious in both size and setup. Probably about twice the size of the typical rooms university students used.
Just then, a call came in. It was my mother, who was surely beside herself with worry at home.
- Son, are you sure you don't need any help?
"I don't have much stuff, so it's fine. I've already moved everything. I just need to clean."
For the record, I'd moved my things with my own car. My father had bought me a used car as a university entrance gift. I'd gotten my license right after finishing the CSAT.
- What about money? I can send you more if you need it.
"Come on, you already paid the deposit. And you gave me an allowance for the monthly rent."
Even though I'd said it was fine, she'd gone ahead and given me half a year's worth upfront. It seemed she was anxious about her son heading out into the world, but also deeply happy about it.
- Even with that, college life means money gets spent everywhere.
"You know me. I've got money saved up from here and there. I've been setting aside the allowance you gave me separately, too."
I wasn't exactly rich, but I probably had more money than most people my age. All thanks to my productive hobbies.
Video editing and illustration.
Out of my countless hobbies, those were the two that actually brought in money. At the same time, they were the reason my parents had at least a minimum of faith in me even though I'd been holed up at home for five years. I'd been earning money since I was 17, so they could rest easy knowing their kid wouldn't starve to death, at least.
After finishing the call with my mother,
I started organizing my things and cleaning the room.
"Whew. That went faster than I expected."
I'd left all the bulky stuff back at my parents' place—figures, dakimakura, hanging scrolls. Same for most of my light novels. Without all the things that had always been there, the room felt strangely empty and bare.
But it couldn't be helped. If there was even a chance I might bring friends over someday, I had to at least try to hide my otaku side.
'Friends... Will I even be able to bring anyone over?'
Since middle school, I hadn't had a single person I could really call a friend. There was one person who came close, though...
I opened my phone and checked KakaoTalk.
[Yusi: Pyah, I'm telling you, nobody does erotic illustrations like you. This piece was fr god-tier, peak arousal. I'll be ordering again.]
[Yusi: Hey Kkangcheol, do you know about a fetish called Amaurophilia? It's a preference for fucking in situations where you can't see, apparently people into this wear blindfolds for it.]
[Yusi: AV code recommendation ACT-132. They say when you blindfold someone like this, the loss of sight makes the other senses more sensitive. Next time I'll be ordering a character wearing a blindfold and handcuffs. Other SM play tools might be involved, so do your research in advance.]
Yusi was one of my illustration commission clients. She'd been a regular from the very beginning, back when my art was still clumsy, claiming she recognized the "aesthetics of arousal" and paying hefty sums for illustrations. Now, we'd reached the point of chatting casually in private messages.
The surprising part was that Yusi's chromosomes were XX. Meaning, this regular client of mine who ordered erotic illustrations was a woman.
I stared at the KakaoTalk messages recommending porn and dissecting SM play with a strange feeling.
"...Could I call her a female friend, too? I don't know her face, so does that mean it doesn't count?"
Actually, the fact that she was a woman was only her own claim. I'd never even heard her voice, let alone seen her face.
Which meant she was Schrödinger's female friend.
No, wait—more importantly, to call an online friend a "friend" without hesitation, shouldn't we meet at least once in real life?
Stuck on this dilemma, I mulled it over for a bit before shaking my head. Things would work out somehow. No way I'd go through four years of university without making a single friend.
"Alright, time to fucking crush some exercise."
First, let's become a person.
Lose the weight, get myself into something resembling human form, become a god-tier popular kid, and enjoy college life.
*
One week later.
I'd gained 7kg and hit 110kg. That worked out to 1kg a day.
"Living alone is way too comfortable...?"
Without my parents watching, I'd been crushing games until dawn while ordering late-night delivery, and the weight had ballooned like a snowball.
"Was the nakgopsae I ordered at dawn yesterday the finishing blow?"
Stroking my abundantly plumped belly, the severity of the situation sank in. If I kept living like this, it wouldn't be long before I turned back into a 130kg white whale. I'd worked for a whole year to get something resembling a human form—I couldn't let that happen.
Why was losing weight so hard and gaining it so easy?
If a god exists, they definitely screwed up the design when making humans. Fuck, when are zero-calorie chicken and zero-calorie pizza coming out.
*
6 AM.
I woke up earlier than usual, threw on my workout clothes, and stepped outside.
The February dawn was still cold enough to make my body tremble. I'd never noticed it, never leaving the house.
'Had it been a whole week since I'd last stepped outside after starting to live on my own?'
I'd said I was going to change my environment, and yet I'd naturally slipped right back into the hikikomori lifestyle...
Freshly repentant, I headed toward a spot I'd already scouted. About ten minutes from my place, there was a streamside path perfect for running.
"Huff, huff! Huff, huff!"
Breathing steadily, I started running along the stream. For all my current state, I did have a black belt in Taekwondo. When I was young, scouts from various sports teams had come after me. No matter how wrecked my body was, running was something I could do all day...
"He-eck, hhhe-eck!"
I doubled over, gasping for breath. I hadn't even run for three minutes, but my side was stabbing and my lungs felt like they were going to burst. Since I'd only ever done home training and never any cardio, the sensation was deeply unfamiliar.
"...My body's this much of a piece of garbage? Even after losing 27 kilos?"
No, I'd gained some back so it's only 20kg now, but still!
My pride was wounded, but I couldn't give up here.
I started running again.
"Heuck, he-eck! Heuck, he-eck!"
Maybe it was because some fat bastard was running along huffing and puffing. I could feel the eyes on me from people around. Normally, those gazes would have been so overwhelming that I'd have fled straight home.
But running like my life depended on it, I was so genuinely on the verge of death from exhaustion that those stares barely registered. How could I have the mental bandwidth to care about other people when I could taste iron in my mouth?
Walk, run, walk, run.
I repeated it like my life was on the line until I finally couldn't take it anymore and collapsed onto a bench.
"Ugh, I'm dying. Should've brought some water."
Before I knew it, the body that had been trembling from the cold earlier was now radiating heat. Sweat was pouring off me to a degree that even surprised myself.
Once I get home, first thing I need to order is a workout tumbler.
I was just thinking that when it happened.
"Do you want some of this?"
I turned my head to see a beautiful woman with a striking healthy glow holding out a half-empty water bottle.
What the—? Some new religious cult recruiting?
'I don't believe in Shinxji.'
I wanted to say that, but I was so flustered my mouth wouldn't open. For someone like me who hadn't spoken to anyone outside my family in far too long, conversing with a strange woman was an impossibly high hurdle.
As I stood there panicking in silence, the woman smiled awkwardly and set the water bottle down on the bench.
"You looked thirsty. Well then, keep up the hard work with your exercise."
She gave a small nod and turned back toward the track.
She must have been in the middle of her own run along the stream. Her pace was pretty fast, and she disappeared into the distance in no time.
"Wh-what an unusual person."
Did people normally just offer water to complete strangers because they looked thirsty? Even if someone asked me first, I'd probably be too flustered to say a word.
Either way, my mouth had been bone-dry, so thank you very much.
I opened the cap and downed the water in one go. As if she'd have spiked it or something. My thirst quenched, I headed straight back home.
'Hope I get to see her again.'
The ponytail that had swayed left and right with every stride lingered in my memory. It kind of resembled an anime character I liked, too.
*
From then on, I went out to the streamside path every morning to jog. Doing cardio really did make my body feel more energized.
While running along the stream, I'd occasionally run into the woman I'd seen that first day, but we never really spoke. Just exchanged eye-contact greetings, more or less. Whether she just liked exercise or was maintaining her figure, the woman was always out there running.
'Feels kind of like I've made an online community friend.'
I didn't know her name, and we'd never talked, but an odd sense of internal camaraderie was building. Even if it had only been a week, at most.
Before I knew it, February was coming to an end.
March 1st, Friday, was a national holiday, and after the weekend, classes would start on the 4th.
Today was February 26th.
Current weight: 104kg.
Fortunately, the weight that had ballooned up to 110kg had mostly come back down. Maybe because I'd gained it so quickly, it came off fast too. At this pace, I might even be able to hit double digits before the semester started.
As usual, I logged into an online community. What was different from usual was that I was searching for a specific topic. With the start of classes approaching, on top of my weight, I had one other concern.
The source of that concern was the university freshman group chat.
It had been quiet since none of us had ever seen each other's faces, but then someone posted a message.
- Hey guys, is anyone free on the 27th?
- I think it'd be nice to get to know each other before classes start. Anyone want to meet up near campus?
- I'll open a poll, so hit it if you're coming. No need to press anything if you can't make it.
- [Attend / Not Attending]