Freshman Gathering
A poll went up even before classes started.
I couldn't help but marvel at the momentum.
'So this is what a social butterfly is like?'
We'd see each other naturally once classes started, and yet they're pushing a meetup to get friendly beforehand? Making plans to meet total strangers whose faces I don't even know—just thinking about it made my whole body freeze up from sheer awkwardness.
Obviously I was gonna skip it... wait, hold on.
'If I don't go to this, doesn't that make me the loner?'
An unbidden worst-case scenario painted itself in my head.
What if everyone shows up and gets friendly in advance? What if by the first day of classes they've all clustered into tight groups of three and five?
There's nothing harder than squeezing your way into a group that's already formed its own bonds. I was already gonna be left behind even if we all started from the same line, and now my starting line alone gets pushed back... pure nightmare fuel.
Terrified out of my wits, I instinctively hit the Attend button. Even after pressing it, I flinched, wondering if that was the right move—but yeah, attending seemed like the right call.
Let's run the scenarios.
If a lot of people show up? I can't be the only one falling behind socially, so I have to go.
If only a few show up? I'd get to interact faster than everyone else, so my chances of turning into a loner drop.
No matter how I thought about it, going to the meetup was the winning play. The problem was, just showing up didn't guarantee I'd actually make friends. And because of that, I logged onto a university community forum.
[How to Make Friends for Loners]
The search terms I typed myself filled me with shame.......
Back in the day, it felt like you could make a friend just by saying a single word to some kid you met on the street. Now I had no clue how. How the hell do you make friends?
Anyway, I did a bit of searching on that topic and posts came flooding out. Probably because it was the start of a new semester, there were a lot of recent posts too. It hit me all over again that there were plenty of people like me.
Anyway, judging from the posts.
[Freshmen worried about becoming loners, listen up]
- If you're introverted, don't force yourself to be outgoing. Just react well and you're already halfway there. If you consistently give good reactions, the crazy E bastards will come collect you on their own.
└ This is 100% facts. I'm an extreme I, but I just nodded hard, went "wow," "oh I see," and gasped—and before I knew it I had best friends.
└ Last year I was just huddled up by myself because I had no friends, and an E chose me lololol.
[Getting chosen by an E isn't always a good thing]
- Your energy gets drained like crazy. I wanted to rest at home alone, so I was ignoring messages and playing games, but an E bastard once straight-up invaded my place. I pretended I wasn't home, and he stood outside my door singing until I came out, going "If you're not home, where else would you be?"
└ What the hell. That's terrifying.......
└ I'm an ENFP and I'm excited deciding which I to collect this time. I put Is in my shopping cart one by one and take them out to snack on whenever I'm bored—it's delicious.
└ You sound like a total creep.......
└ Please take me with you.
└ Fuck, don't talk to me, you E bastards. I want to be alone.
"Hooh......."
A sound of admiration escaped me at the unexpectedly useful info. So if I just sit still, they'll voluntarily come be my friend? Such benevolent people exist?
"So the trick is 'react well,' got it?"
Okay, received and acknowledged. From now on, I am a reaction bot. Don't bother trying to be funny first; just focus on laughing my ass off.
*
The day of the meetup.
I was about to leave right on schedule when a critical problem suddenly dawned on me.
"I have nothing to wear...?"
This wasn't that thing girls say while standing in front of a closet crammed full of clothes. I literally had nothing to wear. The problem was that I'd put off buying clothes, complacently deluding myself that I'd do it after losing all the weight.
From age fifteen until now, I'd been holed up in my room. I never went out roaming around, so I never felt any inconvenience over not having clothes for going out.
Even after I started living on my own, same thing. The only times I ever left the house were my early-morning jogs. Beyond that, nothing. As a result, the only wearable clothes I had were track suits.......
"Fucked."
Too late to go buy clothes now. I hadn't even showered yet, so there was no time to shop for clothes either.
"Ah, shit. I was carefully timing it to arrive exactly on the dot and now I'm screwed."
Being late to the meeting time was obviously not okay, but being too early was also a problem. Why? Because if you're the first two there, just the two of you alone, it's guaranteed to be awkward as hell! So my plan was to cut it dangerously close, right on the dot.
I had no choice but to yank out a track suit and my padded jacket and put them on. I did wonder if this was really okay, but I couldn't exactly show up stark naked, could I? And bailing out now would probably get me branded with a bad image right from the start.
I left the house, praying I could just get through today without incident.
*
The meeting spot was the subway station near campus.
I arrived cutting it dangerously close—about one minute before the meeting time. My careful pacing while watching the clock had paid off.
'Ugh, so cold.'
It was nearly March but still bone-chilling, like midwinter. I was glad I had worn my long padded coat. Come to think of it, with a long padded coat you can't really see what's underneath anyway—massive win. No reason to stress over clothes.
I got to the station and looked around to figure out where everyone was. I didn't know their faces, so I had to deduce from location and outfit. Checking the chatroom, the ones who'd arrived early had each described what they were wearing. A few seemed to have already met up, so I figured I'd find them quickly.
That was when it happened, while I was scanning the area.
Flinch.
I spotted one person and snapped my gaze away in a hurry.
A face that was strange yet familiar. I suddenly felt like I couldn't breathe. Strength flooded into my body without me realizing, and sweat beaded on my palms.
I forced myself to calm down and quickened my steps. As luck would have it, while I was turning my head I spotted a group of three, a mix of men and women, gathered together. Their outfits matched what they'd each posted in the chat.
But there was someone whose path overlapped with mine. The guy I'd just seen earlier. I told myself no way, but ominous premonitions generally have a way of hitting the mark.
The guy was a member of the meetup too.
"Um, Digital Content department, right?"
The guy who said that exchanged greetings with the nodding group, then cheerfully turned to me—I'd arrived one beat late—with a bright smile.
My breath caught and I froze.
"Are you in Digital Content?"
Did he not recognize me? Or was I mistaken?
The instant the thought crossed my mind, the guy suddenly tilted his head. He stared straight at me for a few seconds. His eyes slowly widened.
"Cheol, Cheol-jin? It's Cheol-jin, right? It's me, Seong-hyeon, Ahn Seong-hyeon!"
Ahn Seong-hyeon.
The moment I heard that name, memories I had no desire to recall surged up and my vision went white.
*
"...Cheol-jin?"
I heard a voice tinged with worry.
I snapped back to my senses and exhaled the breath I'd been holding. With effort, I raised the corners of my lips.
"Oh, uh, yeah. Seong-hyeon, it's been a while."
The moment I forced the words out, I calmed down at a startling speed. I'd panicked for a second, but it was fine. It happened five years ago, after all.
"You two know each other?"
One of the girls who'd gathered first asked. She was the one with the wavy brown hair that stood out—small stature, pretty face. The type that would probably be popular and called cute by everyone around her.
The one who answered wasn't me, but Ahn Seong-hyeon. He spoke while carefully watching me stand there in a daze.
"We've known each other since we were three."
"Whoa, since you were three?"
"That's crazy. Total childhood friends."
Just as he said, Ahn Seong-hyeon was my longtime friend. We went to the same daycare, kindergarten, elementary school, and even middle school—so you could say we were pretty close.
...Though after I dropped out of school five years ago, I was the one who cut off contact.
I nodded awkwardly and said,
"We naturally lost touch when we went to different schools. Didn't expect to see you here."
Ahn Seong-hyeon flinched at my words. If I put it that way, he'd get the message that I didn't particularly want to rehash the past.
I put Ahn Seong-hyeon behind me and greeted the others.
"I'm Kang Cheol-jin. Nice to meet you."
"Hey, why the formal speech? We're all friends here, let's drop the honorifics. I'm Pi Ah-reum."
"Oh, uh, okay."
Pi Ah-reum? What a wildly unique surname.
As I thought that, Pi Ah-reum narrowed her eyes and leaned her face in close. Though her short height meant she only came up to my chest, the sheer proximity flustered me.
"You just thought my name was weird, didn't you? Huh?"
"N-no, I just thought it was an unusual surname."
"Hmm."
Pi Ah-reum folded her arms and glared at me with a face that said isn't that the same thing. I panicked and scrambled to make excuses.
"Uh, I mean, isn't it good if your surname is unique? Makes it easy to remember your name. And I heard there's a famous poet with the surname Pi, too."
Ah, I blew it. I felt like I had to say something and just blurted it out, and there was zero context for any of it.
But then Pi Ah-reum suddenly burst out laughing.
"Cheol-jin's reactions are hilarious. Such a little cutie."
"...Bwuh?"
I just stood there slack-jawed, stupefied.
"Ahahahaha! He went 'bwuh,' bwuh!"
Pi Ah-reum cracked up all over again. Honestly, I had no clue what was so funny.
'She's not, like... making fun of me, I don't think.'
Anyway, it was a relief. Pi Ah-reum's laughing fit seemed to have lightened the mood.
"You're Cheol-jin and Seong-hyeon, right? I'm Kim Seong-ju."
"I'm Park Mi-hyeon."
The meetup today was six people including me. We were still waiting on one more. As we were exchanging introductions, before long, a girl came sprinting over from the subway ticket gates.
"I-I'm sorry I'm late! I took the subway the wrong way......."
The last member had arrived. Kim Seong-ju said it was fine and pointed outside the station.
"How about we go somewhere to talk first? Everyone's already eaten lunch, right? Let's at least hit a café."