Monster Rookie of the Variety Scene (7)
While Kim Chan-uk and Luina Bell held off the rest, I was steadily collecting the flags without much trouble.
‘Good. Just one more flag and the guest team wins.’
That was what I was thinking as I sprinted toward the last flag.
‘Why did it suddenly get cooler?’
A massive shadow fell over me. Shade. And it was an incredibly wide one.
No way.
“Where do you think you’re going, actor?”
Kang Jae-dong?! That meant the one who was supposed to be marking him, Kim Chan-uk…
Beyond Kang Jae-dong’s enormous frame, I spotted Kim Chan-uk sprawled across the mudflat, gasping for air.
“You’d need both of them to stop me!!”
I understood. Come to think of it, this man used to be an athlete.
I cursed PD Kang Min-ju in my head.
‘This matchup is way too one-sided.’
Still, I steeled myself and smiled.
“Hyung. I really need to eat today. I haven’t had anything since morning.”
“Is that so? Same here.”
“It worked, huh.”
I shouted with the corners of my mouth lifted.
“Hungryyyy spirit!”
“Hungryyyyyy spirit!”
Here I go! I would break through Kang Jae-dong with my own strength!
Just as I was about to lunge forward—
“I… won’t… let you…!”
Kim Chan-uk had somehow crawled over and was now clinging desperately to Kang Jae-dong’s waistband.
“Go, Kim Doyun…! Pull my share too!”
Kim Chan-uk shouted with a solemn face.
Dude, you didn’t pull a single flag in the first round. You don’t have a share.
I wanted to point that out, but—
“Is this guy really an idol! Hey, his eyes are rolling back!”
“Idol… actor…! Go, Kim Doyun!”
He refused to drop the cool act, but with red mud dripping from the corner of his mouth while hanging onto Kang Jae-dong’s pant leg, the sight was so pathetic it practically stank.
Still, well done, Kim Chan-uk!
I flashed him a quick grin and dashed toward the last flag.
‘Alright.’
I was almost there!
My stomach growled like a beggar begging for food…!
I measured the remaining distance to the flag with my eyes.
The gap between me and the flag was roughly ten Lee Se-rins when I heard a shout from behind.
“I-I’ll block him, hyung!”
The klutz, Lee Seung-woo.
‘Where have you been hiding until now…!’
Despite the nickname, Lee Seung-woo often showed surprisingly intelligent plays in games. I couldn’t let my guard down.
‘I can’t get caught after coming this far!’
I was nearly there. Any second now!
That was the moment.
The klutz Lee Seung-woo’s urgent voice rang out from behind.
“Uh, uh…! I’m slipping!!”
‘What the…!’
The instant I read the caption, I saw the klutz Lee Seung-woo sliding toward me from a standing position.
Was this all calculated?
‘I have to dodge…!’
Thanks to the caption I was able to time it perfectly. I readied myself to jump in place, spun around, and avoided Lee Seung-woo’s tackle.
At the same time, I grabbed the back of his collar before he could truly plant his face in the mudflat after that sneaky attempt.
‘I did it, but that was pretty cool, wasn’t it?’
Don’t underestimate a veteran of historical dramas!
Lee Seung-woo stared at me, genuinely shocked and frozen in place.
This was my chance to look cool.
With my mud-covered face, I looked somewhere between the camera and the klutz Lee Seung-woo and gave a refreshing smile.
“Sunbae, there are quite a few rocks hidden in the mudflat. You could get hurt.”
As I spoke, I used my free hand to smoothly pluck the last flag that had been behind the klutz Lee Seung-woo.
What kind of cringey caption was that? Still, if cool clips and memes of actor Kim Doyun started circulating online because of this, I’d feel pretty good.
If I actually had a fan club, they definitely would have made it happen.
‘Unfortunately I don’t have anything like that.’
Instead, I hoped the scene would remain in the memories of Oji 1 Night fans for a long time.
I raised my hand and waved the flag.
In the distance, PD Kang Min-ju shook her head in admiration, clapping with the corners of her mouth lifted.
Humming a tune, I stood before the stove. A wood-burning furnace and an iron cauldron waited in front of me.
‘It feels pretty cozy, doesn’t it?’
The flags we had earned came to four in the first round and seven in the second, for a total of eleven.
Some of them had been duds, so the actual ingredients we would receive…
PD Kang Min-ju held out a basket and announced,
“Here are the ingredients acquired by the guest team.”
The original member team shouted while sneaking glances at the basket from afar.
“Octopus, abalone, rice, clams, rockfish, native chicken! Wow, that’s a lot!”
“I’m so jealous!”
“Give us some too…”
Kang Jae-dong approached the basket with his signature hearty laugh.
As the main MC, he would now introduce these local specialties in his booming voice.
PD Kang Min-ju continued.
“All the ingredients our staff prepared are specialties grown and harvested right here in Buan.”
Oji 1 Night had this kind of fun—promoting each region’s local products.
As I nodded inwardly, captions floated into my lower field of vision.
I see. So PD Kang Min-ju planned to fill the gaps between Kang Jae-dong’s lines with captions.
I smiled.
‘This is my chance to secure more screen time.’
Kang Jae-dong swallowed hard and poked the octopus.
“Would you look at this. This place isn’t just mudflats. We’ve got land, sea, and air all together!”
A caption rose in the gap between his lines.
Now. I wouldn’t miss the chance to fill the audio!
I naturally jumped in, picking up Kang Jae-dong’s line.
“That’s right, hyung. Buan truly is a treasure trove of food!”
Kim Doyun had naturally slipped into Kang Jae-dong’s commentary. Watching it, PD Kang Min-ju leaned forward.
‘He jumped into the national MC’s flow.’
Good. Let’s see what he can do. Even simply responding well would be fine. If he messed up, they could just cut it and fill with captions.
The moment she thought that, her eyes widened as she watched the monitor.
‘Huh?’
The instant Kim Doyun spoke, Kang Jae-dong’s eyes changed.
“That’s right, Doyun. Look at this octopus!”
Kang Jae-dong, who would normally have led the segment alone, was naturally passing the commentary to Kim Doyun.
Kim Doyun cheerfully played along and pushed the ingredients right up to the camera lens.
“Look at the suckers on this octopus pulsing with power! It was dug out of the mudflats right off Buan’s coast, so you can tell the chewiness is on another level!”
“That’s right! That’s right!”
PD Kang Min-ju smiled.
It had been a long time since she saw Kang Jae-dong this excited.
Spurred on by Kim Doyun’s perfect reactions, Kang Jae-dong looked at the clams. At that moment, Kim Doyun’s hand movements caught PD Kang Min-ju’s eye.
‘Look at that.’
Kim Doyun subtly tilted the basket so the camera could easily get a close-up of the clams without breaking Kang Jae-dong’s flow.
Kang Jae-dong’s lips curved up slightly as he continued.
“Wow. Look at these clams. They’re still alive, aren’t they?”
“This is the pride of the Gomso sea, these clams! And this is the West Sea’s representative sashimi fish, rockfish.”
At Kim Doyun’s line, Kang Jae-dong laughed heartily and asked,
“Hey, Doyun. Is Buan your hometown? How do you know all this so well?”
“It’s not my hometown, but just looking at these beautiful ingredients makes ideas come pouring out!”
The short, seamless back-and-forth between Kang Jae-dong and Kim Doyun continued, bright and cheerful.
The main writer who had been watching approached and whispered,
“PD… those lines…”
“Yeah, I know.”
Not a single line was something thrown out casually. If PD Kang Min-ju had meticulously reviewed the main writer’s draft and sent it up, those would have been the exact sentences written.
‘That’s definitely how it would have been written.’
Captions were a vital element that brought out the flavor of a variety program.
Originally the exact responsibility for captions in variety wasn’t clearly defined, but the main writer and PD Kang Min-ju had stayed up all night competing to refine every single cut’s captions.
It was only possible because of how much they loved Oji 1 Night.
‘But he came up with them the moment he saw the basket…’
What kind of insane quick wit was that? The rookie actor before her eyes had completely grasped everything from variety templates to editing flow.
Was he truly a variety genius?
Or had he been planning and designing these lines since the mudflat flag game at lunchtime?
‘Either way, it’s eerie.’
His broadcasting sense was enough to send chills down her spine.
‘Wow…’
Oblivious to PD Kang Min-ju’s thoughts, Kim Doyun headed toward the cauldron with a bright smile.
“Never mind. No need to explain. I’m starving after rolling around in the mudflat. We should cook quickly and show the viewers.”
Even the timing of cutting off the explanation was perfect so it wouldn’t drag.
PD Kang Min-ju felt her throat go dry.
‘I’m going crazy… seriously.’
He was the first guest who made her want to permanently seat him as a main member of Oji 1 Night.
When I brought the basket over, Kim Chan-uk and Luina Bell stood there stunned.
“What are you doing? We have to cook.”
At my words, Kim Chan-uk turned his gaze.
“It’s… it’s alive.”
“How are we supposed to start a fire? These are actual logs!”
…Both of them were clearly showing their spoiled-upbringing.
Of course. The firewood was whole logs, the fish were still breathing, and the rice had to be cooked in a cauldron.
“The difficulty really is high.”
As I muttered that, the original member team—who had obtained cup ramen in the mini-game after the dinner ingredient battle—wafted the smell over annoyingly.
“Want to trade with us?”
“Yeah! Ramen’s delicious too!”
“We’ll trade. Come over comfortably.”
“We have Buan’s specialties. Octopus, abalone, rice, clams, rockfish, chicken, the whole set!”
At my words, the prankster Kim Geun-seok approached.
“Can I touch it? It’s still alive?”
When Kim Geun-seok picked up the octopus and waved it around, Kim Chan-uk recoiled in horror.
“See? Let’s trade with us. This is your last chance?”
Kim Chan-uk’s eyes were shaking.
“…Ramen might not be a bad choice, Kim Doyun.”
What was this guy saying now?
Kim Chan-uk looked at me and spouted nonsense.
“Get a grip. After all that hard work, you want to eat ramen?”
“But…”
I smiled and lightly stretched.
“Alright. Let’s do this.”
As I said that, I turned my eyes to the basket.
“Hello. I am Luina Bell. What is your name?”
I wondered what she was doing. It seemed she had taken a liking to the rockfish; she was squatting down trying to have a conversation with it.
“Ah! Is it Elizabeth?! What a pretty name. Are you the little mermaid!”
Luina Bell was communing with the fish—no, with Elizabeth.
Yeah, it was nice to look at. So she could talk to fish too.
…This girl was seriously a crazy positive soul.
I walked over to Luina Bell, who was smiling brightly.
“I’ll borrow Elizabeth for a bit.”
“What are you saying? Elizabeth is busy playing with me…”
Without a second’s hesitation, I skillfully brought the back of the knife down on the fish’s—no, Elizabeth’s—head with a solid thwack.
“Kyaaaaaaaaaaah! Elizabethhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!”