Chapter 9

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Translator: penny

Chapter: 9

Chapter Title: I Became the Academy's Onahole Man! (2)

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Here she comes talking to me?

The Onahole Man & Onahole Princess set menu? Anyone who ordered that is obviously gonna get chewed out behind their back.

Well I don't care. My talent's already exposed as 'Onahole Collector' from the start, so I've got no honor left to protect.

But she's got a lot to lose.

Her ears are red like lava. Just from me staring, they were getting even redder in real time.

"...Yeah."

As we left the academy and students became fewer and farther between, Yuuna spoke first.

"Sorry about earlier."

"For what?"

"Because I ran away, your talent ended up looking ridiculous."

She went through the humiliation of getting bundled into that set menu just to apologize for that?

Well, even I probably would've laughed if my classmate's awakening talent was Onahole Collector.

I hadn't even held onto the fact that she'd bolted.

"Just laugh if it's funny. It is ridiculous, after all."

"It's not! Any talent can get good if you nurture it properly. Except that Dihirit jerk, maybe."

"You waited around just to say that?"

She nodded vigorously.

Yuuna explained why she'd mustered up the courage.

"I felt like if I let today pass, I'd never get to say it."

Yeah, probably.

"So, sorry."

"It's fine. I wasn't hurt. Didn't even care what that Dihirit guy said."

I only just learned his name was Dihirit.

"Plus, you were the bravest one there, though?"

"I just jumped in without thinking..."

"I was impressed."

"...D-Don't make it embarrassing!"

Whoa, what a nice atmosphere.

The urge to date someone is bubbling up big time.

...That's right! This is what I wanted!

Something far from pussy pounding and onaholes.

"Kim Sanghyeok. You're really different from before, huh?"

"I hear that a lot."

And I'll keep hearing it.

Yuuna patted my back with a whap and grinned brightly.

"Come out of the academy more often!"

It was a classmate worrying about a truant student moment.

Aw! Hold up!

Stop!! Don't show me that!

'I didn't really wanna know that...'

Her underwear or whatever.

I didn't wanna see some random girl's onahole aptitude or anything gross like that...

Why don't eroge game devs get that a sense of 'mystery' is super important for the opposite sex?

'But still, boosting my energy...? How much?'

If Hena drains my energy, then Yuuna's the opposite...?

The kind of body that makes you wanna go multiple rounds?

I might get hard right in front of her if I'm not careful.

"...Did you use a skill on me?"

Huh. Busted?

"What? What what what?!"

Yuuna sidled right up to me.

"A new skill, right? That one!"

"...Onahole Aptitude Analysis."

"Ona... Pfft! Hold on! Why'd you use that on me?!"

"It just happened."

"What kinda result do you even get using that on a person? Idiot."

"......"

Yuuna's gaze gradually turned strange.

"...Nothing came up, right?"

"Well..."

...What should I say?

As I agonized over how I couldn't be honest anymore,

Yuuna kept pressing me.

"What's my aptitude? Not D-rank, I hope?"

D-rank seems universally hated everywhere.

"A-rank."

"...Come again?"

"A lively onahole whose charm stands out..."

I said it.

The mood turned weird in an instant.

"Better than low rank, at least..."

"Yeah... probably."

"...Ah! Not that I'm saying I'll be your onahole or anything, don't get the wrong idea!"

I wasn't having that delightful lunatic misunderstanding anyway...

"The skill just activated on its own."

Probably reacts to heroines or something.

"Guess it's impossible to get a proper job with a talent like this."

"No, why say something so sad..."

"Sorry. I didn't mean to upset you."

"I'm fine. It's not like it was malicious, and ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠hey! A-rank? I learned about a talent I didn't know I had—total win for me!"

It was a real sunshine smile, the kind that boosts your energy.

I grabbed Yuuna as she turned to leave.

"Wait!"

"Yeah?"

"Gravity wave ahead!"

Gravity wave?

Yeah, the space in front was warping strangely, like some lens refraction effect.

That's what they call a 'gravity wave'...?

Wiki says anomalous gravity waves are observed locally where dungeons appear. Seeing it for real was shocking.

"...D-rank dungeon, huh."

"Ooh. Figured it out just from the gravity wave? You studied hard."

'No...'

I couldn't exactly say it was thanks to the goddess's bonus skill, so I stayed quiet.

"White wavy pattern anomalous gravity wave means we can handle it ourselves, no problem."

"No report?"

I thought you were supposed to report dungeons ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠found outside the academy.

From the wiki.

"We gotta claim it! It's a chance to earn coins."

Taking it ourselves sounds sweet.

Yuuna grabbed my hand tight and pulled me along, still smiling refreshingly.

"I'll check if your talent's useful, so come on!"

...Feels just like a date invite.

Like she's dragging me to an amusement park.

I stepped into the gravity wave, led by Yuuna.

The whole landscape warped dizzily around me, and when I opened my eyes, we were in a forest.

"Yuuna!?"

"Right here."

Yuuna was right beside me.

Sword drawn, already in combat stance.

"Jeez, get scared much? It is D-rank, though."

Her tone stung my pride a bit.

Yeah, first dungeon for me.

"Etsol Academy students can't get shaken by this much."

"You've been here a lot?"

"Yup. I'm a B-rank hunter. Just stick close to your big sis here."

B-rank.

Not sure if the 'B' makes it impressive or not.

But school uniform with a blade? That's straight out of a B-movie.

And... it suited her perfectly because the actress was hot.

"Why're you spacing out staring?"

"I'll stick close to you, sis."

"...J-Joking. Don't take it seriously!"

"But I don't think my talent'll help."

"You never know what hints you might pick up."

Yuuna scanned the surroundings as she spoke.

"You grow fastest right after talent awakening."

Develop combat methods using onaholes...?

Is that what she means?

'I've got clue at all.'

I decided to follow Yuuna for now.

'Did the bike not make it...?'

My stuff... my phone is still here though, luckily.

But it wouldn't turn on in here.

Not 'out of range'—it literally won't work.

"What's up?"

"You really know nothing, huh?"

"...Teach me, oh wise A-rank onahole expert?"

"...Pfft. Did I hurt your pride?"

I knew there was no malice, so I played along.

Yuuna giggled, clearly enjoying this.

"Complex machinery breaks easier in dungeons."

"Complex... that's a vague standard."

Smartphones are definitely complex.

"Guns?"

"Guns break too. Maybe a tiny pistol, but small firearms have at least a 5% failure rate."

5%...?

Meaning every shot risks jamming or something screwing you over?

'Like a space enforcing specific rules.'

Just like a game world.

...A game within a game.

"One sword's plenty here. Let's go."

...Heh.

These otherworld academy kids live spectacular lives. Lines like that too.

Even a vet like me got chills.

'I can't lose out.'

Yuuna soon spotted a goblin village.

About... twenty of them?

'Boss is that one, huh.'

"I'll take that side. You can handle those five on the opposite end, right Sanghyeok?"

"......"

I never tried.

But if I say I can't handle small monsters that don't even reach my waist...

Aww, it's okay~ Big sis'll handle everything, so our little Sanghyeok can just suck his thumb and wait~?

......

That doesn't sound half bad, actually.

But I felt like I had to show something.

"Yeah, I can."

"If it's tough, just stall. It should take... about a minute!"

Oho.

Yuuna charged first.

"Kek!?"

"Kekekeuk!"

"Kwiik! Kwiii!"

I wondered if drawing all their attention at once was okay,

but Yuuna slashed through the goblins before they even closed in.

I was startled seeing her unleash something like sword energy.

'Attack skill?'

My eyes automatically parsed Yuuna's skill.

'...I want something like that.'

Come to think of it, I had something attack-skill worthy.

[Personality Excretion]

Wanna test it? These ugly bastards—anything goes.

"Dopita! Dopita!"

Whoosh!

I chucked a rock at the goblin pack aiming for Yuuna's back.

"Keeek!"

"Kkiik! Kwiik!"

"I'll handle you lot."

I struck a pose after a cool line.

The goblins glared, drawing their own blades.

'Huh?'

Those sharp weapons look kinda scary?

As I backpedaled, the goblins shrieked and charged.

Screw it!

"Personality Excretion!!"

Thwack!!

The goblin that took my kick flopped over, immobilized.

'Oho. Pretty effective.'

Fighting skill, huh?

Then! Even more aggressively!

"Per!! Sonality Excretion!"

Thud!!

"Excre!! Tion!"

Thud! Thud! Thud!

I actively used 「Personality Excretion」 to take down goblins one by one.

One-shot kills. Insane destructive power.

The goblins looked just knocked out, but they were paralyzed, unable to move.

'What. I'm kinda good?'

Figures, it's a goddess-given attack skill.

...No idea how it relates to 'Onahole Collector,' though.

...Yuuna was right.

Grows the fastest right after an awakening.

But they have a lot of messy skills.

...Hmmm.

As I stared at my onahole build utility trio,

Yuuna walked over, having finished clearing her side.

"Kim Sanghyeok. See that? My awesome moves!"

"...Y-Yeah. Saw 'em."

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"Learned new skills? Wow, you're quick. You might actually have talent."

"I do... the problem's that it's Onahole Collector."

"Heehee..."

The talent that used to embarrass her into running away had settled in as a comfy humor code. Intimacy's key.

"Try it out on me. I'll be your test dummy."

"That's asking for disaster."

Use 「Become an Onahole」 on you? Don't wanna imagine what happens.

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"On a goblin then?"

Even worse...

But its worthless trash anyway—might be worth testing.

That's when.

Something rustled under the grass and popped up.

It was...

They were slime-like things.