Chapter 21

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Translator: penny

Chapter: 21

Chapter Title: Onahole Collection (2)

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"Open Onahole Inventory."

Unfortunately, there was no masterpiece-level craftsmanship.

Hena was squatting down next to me, picking up onaholes with me.

"It's kinda cute. It's quivering all pu-ring pu-ring."

"......"

Yuuna seemed reluctant to touch it with her hands and just stood there with her arms crossed, pretending not to care.

That's normal. I didn't particularly want to touch them either.

We're just collecting them because they're byproducts of my ability.

Still, this onahole collection run was way too sweet.

"Once you've got the collection bonus, we don't need to grab every last one, right?"

"Yeah, true. Not like I'm gonna use them anyway."

"Then let's leave the rest. How are we supposed to find all those scattered ones?"

Mixed in with orc hides and guts everywhere, it was getting annoying to pick through.

I agreed with Yuuna and stood up.

"The boss should be nearby."

She was right.

In the next room, an orc with the build of a warrior was waiting for us.

"Guwaaagh!"

Bang!

I immediately drew my Glock. But this guy deflected my bullet with the sword in his hand like he'd seen it coming.

'This fucker really looks down on guns...'

Anyone could tell it was system-assisted. That deflection.

It was like in a game, where it moves the moment you pull the trigger, as if saying, "No cheap ranged wins~."

"Don't worry. We'll create an opening for you."

At that moment, Yuuna dashed forward to set up the play.

"I'll break its stance! Hena, follow up!"

"Got it!"

I just stood back, lowering my gun and watching.

"Guwaaagh!"

Yuuna leaped and fluidly dodged the orc champion's wide sword swing,

then slashed its thick thigh with her blade, forcing it to its knees.

Hena followed up instantly, hitting the orc's upper body with mana bullets, turning it into a sitting duck.

"Guuuk!?"

"Now! Kim Sanghyeok!"

Paying my respects to their teamwork, I aimed my Glock.

'Excretion tab.'

Bang bang!

"Urgh!?"

The orc champion collapsed, excreting a personality jelly.

Heh...

I lowered the barrel and struck a pose.

"Freed from the shackles of the mortal world, become an onahole..."

Poof.

The orc champion's jelly had sublimated into a masterpiece.

"If you didn't have that handsome face, that line just now would be a crime."

"Become an onahole! Yah!"

"Hena, you're picking up his habits too."

"What's wrong with that? We're all adults."

I collected the final onahole that dropped from under the champion.

I had a good feeling from the moment I grabbed it.

Kruu~.

Sweet. So damn sweet!

"How's the Glock? Like it?"

"Other than how it jams a lot."

"Keep pumping up your Technique and it'll sort itself out."

'Technique,' huh...

I'd need some Strength to pry that magic beast off Hena too. Second priority: Strength.

"You said we can buy stats? From the demon merchant?"

Yuuna stared at me like I'd seen a ghost.

"Demon merchant? How does a D-rank like you even know about that?"

Her tone wasn't dismissive of me as a D-rank so much as shocked that a D-rank would know it exists.

"Saw it mentioned in this dungeon."

"......"

Yuuna's expression turned serious.

"Did I mess up?"

"No... I'll explain later."

Rumble rumble rumble.

At that moment, the dungeon began to shake.

The underground ruins suddenly rose to the surface.

Into a scorching desert under the blazing sun...

But the stage wasn't the only thing that changed. The orcs we'd killed got coated in gold and rose again.

"Hena! Over here!"

"Okay!"

All the orcs we'd slain had revived.

'But we extracted their personalities?'

Their movements lacked any intelligence.

Like they were being puppeted by someone.

"Stick right behind me!"

Yuuna said, gripping her sword with a tense expression.

"These are B-rank magic beasts. I might not have time to protect you. Stay sharp."

‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠

No prep time—the battle kicked off immediately.

Hena fired her intangible mana bullets right away, but the golden orc didn't budge.

"Ah...! Magic... doesn't work..."

Yuuna swung her sword, cutting down approaching orcs like falling leaves.

Now it was fully Yuuna's solo stage.

'Personality Excretion would help, but...'

In this chaos, I might hit Yuuna in the back.

That kept me from jumping in recklessly.

For now, I kept my distance, prioritizing protecting Hena.

"You're doing great, Kim Sanghyeok."

"Princess! I believe in you!"

"I'll show you why I'm a B-rank solo."

She wasn't just some tough high schooler fighting in her uniform.

'This is pro level?'

Even swarmed by vicious golden monsters, Yuuna didn't falter—she shone brighter.

The sword techniques she'd shown blocking the hall were just the tip of the iceberg.

The wide-area Mountains and Rivers Slash

The instantaneous frenzy Whirlwind Dance that shredded clinging foes.

Yuuna's A-rank attack skills tore through the golden orcs' tough bodies.

"One went that way!"

Hena cast her spell immediately, but it only excited the golden orc more.

"Eek!!"

Terrified, Hena clung to me.

"S-Sanghyeok... run...!"

"Nah."

Mob levels ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠just went up—now I can really show off.

If this jams now, I'm seriously blaming you, En-chan.

Let me pose cool in front of the heroine...

I aimed my Glock and put three rounds into a golden orc's chest.

Mozambique drill: two to the chest for stopping power, one to the head.

But...

'Excretion drill is two to the chest, one to the gut.'

The gut shot's the finisher.

Bang bang! Bang!

The orc was being controlled by golden power, so no fun reaction, but.

It went down easy.

I wondered what it'd excrete without a personality, but a golden jelly popped out.

It vanished soon after, along with the orc's gold coating.

Probably some pseudo-personality for control.

And I made it excrete that too.

"It's fine now."

"It's... fine...?"

Hena hugged me tight, looking up with teary eyes.

'Mm. This is why you play the protagonist.'

Cliché, but delicious.

As warm and soft as the breasts pressing against me.

Soon, Yuuna had nearly cleared her side.

And then.

She finally clashed with the boss.

"Krut!!"

Even B-rank solo Yuuna was struggling hard this time.

The enhanced B-rank boss. Breaking its stance wasn't easy.

"Yuuna! You got this?"

"I got thiiiis!!"

Force a power struggle against a much larger orc with her smaller, slender frame?

Impressive.

Soon, sword light flashed, and her Mountains and Rivers Slash—dividing the wide space in three—landed.

"Kuruk!?"

"Dihirit... you bastard!!"

'Haha...'

With class-rep grit, Yuuna cleanly took down the B-rank elite boss.

"Wow, Yuuna's amazing."

Hena marveled.

The protagonist was Yuuna again this time.

Toppling a mountain of a monster with just a single sword, striding over confidently.

Who knew I'd find a girl walking with her uniform skirt swishing so cool.

"Good work, Yuuna."

"Got some contribution this time, huh? Kim Sanghyeok."

"Thanks to the weapon someone bought me. Whatever."

Thirsty, Yuuna rummaged in her bag for water and chugged it down.

"Want some?"

Blazing sun, maybe? We were all sweaty since surfacing.

I took it and drank obediently.

"It'll collapse soon?"

"Not yet. If demon merchants really show up..."

What the hell was it?

"Problem?"

"First, the loot split."

"Less than I thought."

"That's huge for a single B-rank clear. I got 2,000, FYI."

Leader decides the split arbitrarily, huh...

"Objections now."

Hena shook her head vigorously.

"First time getting loot split... I'm happy... ehehe..."

"......"

Yuuna's eyes sharpened.

"You... scammed her out of money...?"

"N-No idea what you're talking about..."

I played dumb, but Yuuna's suspicious glare lingered.

"You know scamming in the hunter biz gets you blacklisted for real?"

"First I'm hearing it, but no plans to scam..."

"Ugh! Y-Yeah... Sanghyeok can have it all. I'm fine..."

"Even if you're okay, it's not! It's the law!"

With Yuuna's personality, she'd give more rather than scam.

Instead, I took 400 coins ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠from my student ID deposit and handed them to Yuuna.

"I'll pay you back right away, Yuuna."

"Already deducted from your share."

"Was my contribution that high...?"

Yuuna avoided my eyes.

"Whatever. You did better than expected... so call it even."

"Was thinking of picking something other than the gun like you said."

"Definitely suited you more than a sword."

She recognized my style from the fight.

Melee base with an easy-handling pistol on top.

"Sorry I couldn't help at the end..."

"Over contribution? Don't mumble! Chest out."

Yuuna slapped the slumping Hena's back.

I got that treatment too.

"But... it really was low..."

"Contribution always goes to main DPS. But the party's VIP is the support who does their job."

"Without Hena, I'd be rolling on the floor with orcs."

"......"

With my praise added, Hena's cheeks flushed red.

I rolled up my sleeve and looked up at the shining sun.

'Getting hot... wanna head back...'

Just as I thought that,

a small figure wrapped in rags over body and face appeared in the distance, carrying a bundle bigger than itself on its back.

'That the guy?'

"Answering your question from earlier."

Yuuna said.

"Yeah, you buy stats from the demon merchant. They sell everything that doesn't exist in this world... and everything that does."

"Gonna load up on Technique."

"I-I want Magic Power..."

"First time for all of you? Meeting a demon merchant."

Obviously for me, and Hena nodded too.

Demon merchants don't show in low ranks, apparently.

But why was Yuuna so on edge?

She didn't make this face even against the B+ elite boss with a horde of golden orcs.

"Don't think 'merchant' means friendly service for your coins."

"What do you mean?"

"Demon merchants are enigmatic beings that rarely appear in dungeons. Their power rivals S-rank magic beasts."

"......"

So.

If it attacks out of nowhere, we're screwed?

"If we were starving to death, it'd sell a single water bottle for 500k coins without blinking."

"Oh dear. We're not that ruthless."

The distant silhouette on the horizon

was suddenly right next to us.

Yuuna startled back, clamping her mouth shut.

"Pleased to meet you, cute aspiring hunters."

'Can't fuck with this...'

Ordinary goblin build, but the scan info was no joke.

Way beyond what we could handle now.

But no reason to fight? Fair trade could be good...

Maybe I'm being too optimistic.

That goddess-defying guts helps here.

I greeted the goblin king in place of the frozen Yuuna and Hena.

"Hello, Goblin King."

"Oh, it's been ages since someone greeted me so politely. I'm touched, Kim Sanghyeok."

...Didn't tell it my name.

It didn't introduce itself as Goblin King either, so fair.

"Fate brought us together. I'll trade what I have for your coins."

Seems reasonable?

"How much for Technique?"

"Technique~~~ Not feeling it right now."

"Aw, c'mon."

"No can do. Not the mood for Technique. Sadly..."

What the...?

"Strength then?"

"Ahh, too sunny for Strength."

"Stamina?"

"Too sad from last night's drama for Stamina."

......What the fuck. What do you want?

"Perfect mood for Magic Power. Looking at your stats..."

Magic Power for Hena then.

"Sell to Hena."

"5,000 coins each."

"What!"

Yuuna shrieked.

"Hena's Magic Power stat is regular market 200 coins!"

"But mine's 5,000."

"......Urgh..."

Hena mumbled awkwardly.

"I-I don't have that kinda money..."

"Haha. Pity."

'Hmm.'

I get the demon merchant gimmick now.

Say some academy kid inherits billions in coins pre-enrollment.

To raise stats, clear high-difficulty dungeons, meet demon merchant—but it demands 10 billion for one Strength?

'Need power to trade fairly with demon merchants.'

So, can't buy now.

"You buy stuff too? Goblin King."

"Oh, Sanghyeok. Of course. Found something good?"

"Just asking, but no jewels or whatever, right?"

"......"

Goblin King's face twisted.

Its mouth looked like a sinister grin.

"If you're asking about buyouts just to sell trash like that, I might slap a penalty, Sanghyeok."

"......"

"S-So, what're you selling? Know what I'd be interested in from what you have?"

"S-Sanghyeok..."

Yuuna grabbed my sleeve.

She was rarely scared.

"Drop it..."

"Got something to sell."

Who you threatening?

I've got something one-of-a-kind.

Even before pulling it out, I had a hunch. 'This is what it's for.'

"Open Onahole Inventory."

I showed it a plain goblin onahole.

"Wh-What......"

Goblin King's face twisted and relaxed repeatedly in shock.

"Stuff like this. Whaddya think?"

"This is...... my kin's personality, defiled so utterly!"

"Just a tool, don't get worked up."

"Kuaaaaaah!!"

Goblin King took the onahole I handed and dropped to its knees.

"Beautiful! Gorgeous!!"

The demon merchant raised the onahole I gave like a holy idol and shouted.