Chapter 22

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Translator: penny

Chapter: 22

Chapter Title: Level Up with Onaholes

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"A fresh personality without the slightest wear and tear! The masterful skill to butcher it into a flawless state without a single nick! Mr. Kim Sanghyeok, you possess the genius talent of a true artisan."

"Knew you'd like it."

Why had I shown him an onahole made from a fellow goblin's personality?

Because in this adult game, I was certain goblin onaholes would have some special use.

And that time was now.

The protagonist wouldn't use something like a goblin or orc onahole, after all.

Who would?

Other goblins or orcs, obviously.

Onaholes were modeled after human body parts from the start.

So wouldn't goblins prefer goblin onaholes? It was simple logic.

And my hunch hit the mark perfectly.

"The reaction is so vivid. It's alive and breathing inside here. No artisan in hell could craft such a masterpiece!"

"Pretty great, right?"

"Oh... Ooh... May I slip a finger inside this hole, Mr. Kim Sanghyeok?"

"It'd become a used onahole, so promise you'll buy it first."

"I promise! I'll definitely buy it from you!"

The goblin slid his finger in and was moved to tears of joy.

"I can feel it through my finger... the voice of my kin begging me for its life! That trembling!"

"Good, huh?"

"This is revolutionary! To meet an artisan like you...! Will you sell exclusively to me from now on?"

"That depends on me. How much will you pay?"

"For this quality... 12,000 coins."

I was stunned by the amount.

Even a sleazy devil merchant was still a merchant at heart.

Valuing a goblin onahole that high meant he was confident he could resell it for even more...

The fact that someone would pay that much for a personality onahole shocked me to my core.

I struggled to keep my surprise off my face...

"That's the highest I can offer. More than that."

"Gasp..."

Yuuna had zero poker face.

"Kim Sanghyeok, sell 'em all...! That stuff we dropped earlier!"

"All? You mean... you have more of these?"

Why would you say that, you idiot?

Yuuna clamped her hands over her mouth and shook her head frantically.

Well, I was planning to reveal them anyway.

The Goblin King grabbed it and started drooling.

"Oh... Ooh... It's artistic..."

"I've got even better ones, though."

"......"

"This one's special. Only have the one, so I've been saving it."

"I'll pay top coin for it... Please, sell it to me! I beg you!"

"90,000—no... 110,000!"

"If you wanna keep doing business with me, that's not gonna cut it."

"190,000... 190,000! No, let me buy it! Please!"

"What, you wanna use it yourself?"

"Hah... Hahhh..."

"Your breath's gross, so back off."

I'd seized complete control.

Seeing him lose his reason like this, onahole collectors seemed to be the natural predator of devil merchants.

"Promise me. You'll always treat me and my friends like gentlemen. Stats at fair prices, always."

"...Yes! Yes! Of course!"

"What about orc onaholes?"

I unpacked the orc onaholes I had.

"I'll buy them! All of them! Sell me everything you've got!"

I'd planned to keep the master-grade ones... but sell?

Honestly, they'd just gather dust anyway.

"You hear that, Yuuna?"

Yuuna latched onto me.

"Kim Sanghyeok—n-no, Sanghyeok...!"

"What?"

"I'll go pick up the ones we dropped earlier! Sell those too!"

Yuuna seemed to remember the onaholes we'd left behind.

"Do we really need to go that far? It's a hassle."

We've already made a ton.

Hena grabbed my hand and shook her head too.

"Let's go, Hena! We'll scoop 'em all up!"

"Okay!"

......

The two dashed off to fetch the onaholes without me even asking.

They started searching 20 meters away.

Soon they returned loaded with orc onaholes.

"This one too!"

"Here!"

"No! How could you toss masterpieces like these on the floor?"

"Making stuff like this is a breeze for me."

The Goblin King seized my hand.

"These treasures, nearly lost to the world, ending up in my hands—it's fate. Looking forward to more business, Sanghyeok sir!"

"Sure. Just sell me stats straight-up."

Money from clearing the dungeon: 1,182 coins.

Money from selling all monster onaholes: 1,120,000 coins.

I'd become filthy rich selling onaholes.

Just two days after becoming the protagonist of Onahole Academy.

The Goblin King looked thrilled too.

He was stroking the personality onahole I'd sold him like a beloved pet.

"Now, what stats can I sell you?"

"Weren't you gonna rip me off or something?"

"No, no~ Of course~ we'll sell everything ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠fair and square ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠to you and your friends. Heh heh..."

'Time to boost physical and gun stats.'

Stats cost more the higher they go.

A bit pricey, but no losing deal.

Compared to Hena, this was almost...

More growth than a full year of steady academy life could give.

And I bought it all in one day with cash.

"You two buy some too."

"I-is that okay?"

Yuuna hesitated.

She knew it was a huge opportunity but worried it'd look shameless.

"Good thing I learned that weird skill, huh?"

"W-well... Ugh. I won't call it weird anymore."

"Hena, get some magic power. My treat."

Someone might think, why give it away like that? But...

Focusing only on my growth would distance me from them.

And that's not what I wanted.

"...I can't repay a debt this big."

"Told you. I'm repaying your favors. Just take it."

Hena shook her head.

"I didn't want repayment. I saved you... 'cause we're friends."

She meant she wouldn't take money for covering me.

Hena kept surprising me today.

Even the easiest heroine in Onahole Academy had that protagonist aura.

"Then keep my vulgar skill a secret. That's the price."

Yuuna giggled.

"You mean the onahole collector who turns monster personalities into onaholes and ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠sells 'em high to devil merchants—worse than a devil himself?"

"Yeah. Strict secrecy."

"Deal. Lips sealed, fee received."

"Yeah, our secret."

"Go shop."

Whoosh.

The two pretty students' faces lit up.

Watching them made my heart race too. Why's money the best?

'Men need ability, after all.'

Letting these two beauties—who make my heart sing just looking at them—buy whatever they want.

Just watching them happily, I felt like coming to this world was the right call.

Of course, Yuuna's strength stat was pricey.

Raising Hena's magic power by 50 cost less than boosting Yuuna's strength by 3.

"Not ripping us off, right, Goblin geezer?"

"Heavens, no."

If unhappy, just stop selling onaholes.

The Goblin King rubbed his palms obsequiously, catering to me.

"Eek! I'm stronger!"

"Magic power... skyrocketed..."

B-rank Yuuna jumped for joy at +10 strength.

D~C-rank me and Hena got massive boosts, feeling the dramatic growth even more.

"I'll cover the coins."

After splurging, about 110,000 coins left.

Still a fortune.

"Thanks for the good deals, Goblin King."

"Oh, the pleasure's mine. Very satisfying trade."

The Goblin King gripped my offered hand tightly.

"Oh ho. To think you receive love from so many diverse outer gods... What an honor to meet you, Mr. Kim Sanghyeok."

Diverse outer gods' love?

The skeleton from Lucky Pervert?

"Nearly committed a faux pas against the Mother of Blood... Heh heh."

Didn't get it, but...

Goblin geezer muttered like he was spoiling something, then vanished.

"I'll return to buy more onaholes, Mr. Kim Sanghyeok."

"See ya, Goblin geezer."

The dungeon began dismantling.

Relaxed now, Yuuna sidled up to me, gazing at the collapsing dungeon.

Hena always stuck close, but Yuuna this near felt new.

"Repaying debts is one thing, but this?"

Yuuna's gaze had changed.

"Kim Sanghyeok, you're amazing."

"Just got lucky."

This world was Onahole Academy.

A place where protagonist perks meant no difficulty if I played my cards right.

Nothing like my old reality, dragging a weary body for cash.

Staring at the absurd fortune on my student ID, I thought again.

'A world where high-value things come easy.'

Had to admit it.

The Goddess had given me a great gift.

"How should I repay this favor...? Now I'm the one worrying."

"Hena said it. No repayment between friends."

"Really~? Nothing at all? Right now, me and Hena would grant any wish~?"

Hena nodded too.

"What kinda answer are you fishing for...?"

Don't tempt me like that!

No matter how handsome or nice I am, don't!

Yuuna and Hena stared with eyes full of affection.

If they kept looking like that during dungeon teardown, it'd be too much pressure.

"L-let's take a pic or something."

Perfect timing.

"Hena, get in frame—stick close! Smush!"

"Ung!"

The two pressed against my arms. Oh no.

Total harem flex pose!

"One, two! Click!"

It was preserved as evidence.

"Kim Sanghyeok's flustered. Super flustered."

Of course I was.

In my near-30 years, I'd never had such a sweet, spicy real-life event!

"Look. Pic came out great."

"Pretty. Both of you."

Yuuna fiddled on her phone and sent me the photo.

In that short time, she'd drawn cat whiskers on our faces with digital pencils,

and below: 'Our squad's first dungeon clear memorial' in cute handwriting font.

Shy Hena, bubbly-smiling Yuuna—both faces perfect in the shot.

"Sending to Hena too. Nah, let's make a group chat."

Group invite came. Me, Hena, Yuuna.

"Squad name? Not 'Onahole Squad,' I hope."

"Urk!"

Yuuna clutched her head.

"Onahole, onahole... Trying to desensitize, but no. Vulgar words banned now! First group rule."

Chat pin already had 'No vulgar words.'

Training ground empty except us.

"Just head home now?"

"Guess we're last out. Makes sense—only we did B-rank."

Yuuna tugged her collar; I whipped my head away, startled.

"Fought careful, but sand got in my clothes. Hena, shower together!"

"Uh, I was gonna at home..."

"No excuses! Girl talk time. Bond!"

"Don't bully Hena."

"Who's bullying? Kim Sanghyeok, where you headed? Wait for us?"

Hmm, paths similar anyway.

Nothing else to do.

"Sure. Clean up and come. I'll wait."

After they left, I opened my status.

Newly acquired skills

『Onahole Enhancement』You've decided on the onahole!! Generally enhances the onahole's abilities.

『Firearm Proficiency』Proficiency needed to handle firearms in general. Level rises with use, strengthening shooting corrections accordingly. Current Level 3

Achievements

《Goblin Onahole Conqueror》Collected all goblin onaholes.

《Loss of Humanity》Shoved personality excretion into an unknown heroine out of nowhere.

《Inhumane Personality Excretion》Force-fed a full-power personality excretion with maximum violence weighting to a heroine enduring it.

《Devastating Personality Excretion》Personality excretion barrage ignoring heroine mental collapse. Extremely sadistic.

《No Endurance Saves You!》Manifestation of unbreakable will to excrete. Acquired after 50+ excretions on same target within 5 minutes.

《Orc Onahole Conqueror》Collected all orc onaholes.

'Got stronger.'

Overall eval still D, no update,

but stats were way beyond D-rank now.

Already felt the difference moving my body post-purchase.

Dexterity up reduced gun jam rate, boosted power too.

Though real life had no such silly limits...

'Hm?'

Spotted oddity in achievements.

The 《Loss of Humanity》 one.

From punching the scarecrow... What? Like I victimized some unknown heroine.

Shoved excretion into unnamed heroine? Never happened.

Confusing.

'Wonder what I'll find.'

I focused my eyes slowly, expanding search range.

A bit far, but...

'Seridwen Evelyn'...?

Unknown name.

But worth checking out.