Chapter 159
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Translator: penny
Chapter: 159
Chapter Title: A Crazy Hero Whose Fan Service is Belly Punching
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"Clean work."
The Student Council President approached.
"Didn't it take a bit longer to deal with that female villain?"
"I've grown a little myself."
Kushina had a skill that nullified direct hits with a certain probability, so she wasn't a great matchup for me—we bickered back and forth until I even had to pull out Lucky Pervert—but against a straightforward thug like this, it was absolute devastation. My punches and kicks had gotten a lot spicier than before.
"Th-thank you."
The injured policewoman approached, supported by her colleague.
"I'm Kyung-ah. Hero... Onahole Man."
"Kim Sanghyeok."
Kyung-ah bowed her head deeply.
By now, I was somewhat used to women I'd just met gazing at me with eyes overflowing with affection.
"Hero Kim Sanghyeok... I-I'll definitely repay this favor someday... N-next time, let me buy you a meal at least... Give me your number..."
"Sure."
Having a connection with the police couldn't hurt.
"Really?"
I felt a little embarrassed seeing her jump for joy.
Was my number really that precious?
"Thank you! Hero Kim Sanghyeok! Th-they say heroes and police make a great match...! Looking forward to it!"
Kyung-ah was a heroine type who really suited a ponytail.
The reason I pegged her as a heroine? Her huge chest. Even the police uniform couldn't hide the outline.
...Natural, I bet? This world was different from Korea in all sorts of ways.
"Don't get distracted. This is the important part now."
"Isabella?"
"Reporters are going to interview the rookie hero. Don't get emotional, no matter how they attack you."
"...Ah, okay."
What was this about?
Soon, a male reporter approached and started the interview.
"Hero Onahole Man. Mind a quick interview? I'm Do Young-jun from Hero Fact."
"Sure."
"You have the ability to turn women into sexual toys and toy with them—do you not see any issue with that yourself?"
"......"
The first question was already a total mess.
I could see why Isabella had brought me here.
Along with my feats, I needed to shift public perception positively.
"It's not like that..."
"Does that mean onaholes aren't sexual toys? There was that incident where kids kept doing 'Onahole Punch' at school for fun, causing problems."
"Any thoughts on that phenomenon?"
This wasn't an interview; it felt like an interrogation...
What should I say?
Everything he said made sense, so I had no idea how to respond.
If I'd trained for this beforehand, would I have handled it smoothly?
Then, a gentle voice whispered in my ear.
"It's fine, Sanghyeok. Relax and speak your mind! Even if it's a bit controversial, the Student Council will edit it out."
"...Mm."
Just be myself, then? In that case...
Based on everything I'd been through—so far, excluding the sleazy sex—I'd share my honest feelings...
"I know my ability is unethical by societal standards."
"Isn't it dangerous for a hero to just swing around something like that?"
"I think it's okay because it's used to take down dangerous villains."
"Why is it okay? Turning men or women into onaholes and using them doesn't seem right."
"Mm......"
The villain who stuck with me the most was...
Of course, my official first onahole, Kushina.
"Even if you're born with a weird ability, using it properly can help everyone—that's a lesson kids can learn too, so I think it's fine."
"......"
Maybe I could say more?
The Student Council would fix anything weird. Should I elaborate a bit?
"I've fought someone who turned to villainy because of discrimination over their ability. If people like me can become heroes too, maybe more heroes with dangerous powers will step up to protect others."
"...I-I see."
Did I do well?
Isabella's expression said yes.
The crowd at the scene was already on my side anyway. They murmured at the reporter's questions and cheered at my responses.
The next reporter was different, probably because of that.
"I'm Lee So-young from Hero Magazine. Up for an interview?"
"Sure."
"Some people still don't know much about Jelly Man's skills. Could you introduce them this time?"
"I-I'd need the president's permission..."
Everyone glanced at the Student Council President with her arms crossed and chuckled.
So-young seemed amused too.
"The camera caught the president 'gently' fixing your tie earlier. What's your relationship?"
Isabella, who'd been dragged into the interview, frowned awkwardly.
"We're academy seniors and juniors."
"And you, Kim Sanghyeok?"
"I... see her as my master and me as her disciple."
"Sanghyeok says master and disciple. What about you, President?"
Isabella looked flustered.
"Y-you can't say that in public..."
"That's what we are, right?"
"...Hero Onahole Man is a student under special management at the academy, and I'm just handling a few skills and his training."
Tch.
Why wouldn't she admit we're master and disciple?
She was thrilled when I used her fighting style...
A little disappointing.
"Personality Excretion Hero—a really unique name. You're also called Onahole Man. Which nickname do you prefer?"
"...If I had to pick, Jelly Man."
"And you, President? Which is best?"
"......"
Isabella? No way...
"...Onahole Man."
Kek.
The pet name Isabella obsessed over slipped out.
"The president likes Onahole Man. What do you think, Sanghyeok? If your master wants it, you should go with Onahole Man, right?"
"......"
Urk...!!
O... Onahole Man... That half-joking name was about to become official in front of everyone.
"...Yes. If that's what the president wants, I'll use it."
"......"
Isabella's lips twitched upward.
Eh? She was thrilled to make Onahole Man official?
"This is your Onahole Man, Kim Sanghyeok! I'll do my best."
I shouted it once more, and
"Pfft!!"
Isabella burst out laughing in public for once, turning her head as her shoulders shook.
"The president really loves Onahole Man!"
"Onahole Man incoming!"
"Pfft... Stop... Stop it..."
"Ah. A word to the fans gathered here?"
"I'm shocked I even have fans."
A total scrub with less than a month of hero experience having fans?
This world was too generous to me.
I liked that. Awesome!
"Hey? Onahole Man's fans, let's hear a cheer!"
"Waaaaah!!"
...When did they gather like this?
At least a hundred people. It was packed.
"If I had to pick what makes Kim Sanghyeok popular, it'd be his outstanding looks! Any special care routine?"
Outstanding looks... Fair enough.
"Care routine... Nah, I think it's just natural."
"So honest!"
I sounded a bit rude, but everyone giggled.
"A message for the fans... Uh... Don't watch too much Personality Excretion."
"Kyaa~~!"
"Onahole Man! Sign this!"
"Thanks for the interview."
Reporter Lee So-young bowed and stepped back.
Then the fans swarmed in.
Police, reporters, now fans.
I got why celebrities get addicted. It felt like I was turning into an attention monster, sucking up everyone's energy.
"Hug me!"
"Hold my hand!"
"Sign this!"
I never knew female fans were this bold with skinship.
Some hugged without even making eye contact, rubbing up against me...
Like they were blatantly trying to get me hard, hands groping my chest.
In the chaos, it felt like I was getting groped every which way...
"Enough! Line up properly."
Then.
Isabella's sharp shout snapped everyone back to reality.
I was amazed watching people turn into model citizens instantly.
'This is charisma?'
Helpless against the girls' touches, I stared at Isabella's charismatic profile.
...Pretty.
"Next district. Kim Sanghyeok. The day's work isn't over yet."
Boos erupted.
Even those quieted under the president's glare.
"...They're my fans. I'll at least sign a few before we go."
"Hmph. Make it quick. Five minutes."
"Hear that? President's scary, so five minutes max."
The signing itself went normally. But...
Normal-looking college girls came up asking,
"Hey."
"Yeah?"
"Can you do belly punch?"
...My head spun a little.
"What's belly punch?"
"Huh? You know, what Onahole Man does. Punching girls' bellies."
What?
"I wanna get hit!"
"Belly punch as fan service!"
"Me too! Personality Excretion Smash, please."
Eh? For real?
Then thinly dressed college girls lined up, pressing their stomachs forward with pleas like "Punch my belly with your fist," and I froze.
......
"He's flustered. So flustered."
"Cute."
Cough...
"Belly punch for fan service~~."
They twisted their waists coquettishly, and I was mortified.
Isabella was off talking to Evangeline, oblivious to this.
But...
Even as fan service, getting photographed punching girls' bellies was iffy.
"N-no, I can't do that."
"Can't?"
"No belly punch???"
"......"
How was this vulgar nonsense happening in the middle of the street...!
My inner Confucian boy reared up after ages, raging.
'No means no.'
"Just pretend~."
"N-next time..."
I racked my brain for an excuse when...
"...Bring a cushion, and I'll do it."
Huh??
I made a slip-up I hadn't even done in the interview.
I could've just said no, but making it conditional lit up their eyes.
"Yes!"
"Gotta bring one next time...!"
No!
No way!! I'd become a crazy hero whose official fan service was Personality Excretion belly punches!!
"Wait, I mean..."
"He'll do belly punch if you bring a cushion!"
"Gotta buy a cushion♡♡"
I even ran into those soft high school girls from the tteokbokki place.
"Ah! I have a cushion here. Punch me."
"......"
Everyone watched enviously.
She had a cushion handy... What was this situation?
"Uh... Well..."
Screw it!
I gently placed my fist on the cushion against her stomach and muttered,
"P-Personality Excretion... Smash...!"
"Kyaaaaah!!"
Everyone screamed.
......
I signed the cushion too, got my energy drained, and escaped the fans.
"Let's go."
"Yes......"
"What'd you do to make that face?"
"...I just became the world's sleaziest hero, President."
Fan service as belly punches...
"You're Onahole Man."
"You nailed it in the interview—said we could change the name later, but now it's set."
"I like that name. Honestly."
"...Urk..."
It was the president's taste after all. Figures!
"Should've changed it sooner. I told you—after this, you can't."
"I'll own the fumbling."
"Next is Dohwa-dong."
"Yes..."
I followed Isabella around, taking down shapeshifting villains.
As expected, it was a platter served by the Student Council President.
I handled the executions on arrival, spreading Onahole Man's benefits to the world.
The Shorts trending were "The Guy White Devil Looks After" and "Isabella the Goddess Smiles," with the highest views.
Seeing the emotionless hero Isabella laugh at "Onahole Man" was apparently shocking.
If a guy with an onahole gift in his cabinet and hero name "Onahole Man" showed up, even I'd laugh...
"What're you grinning at on your phone?"
"Shorts already popped up."
Isabella smiled more than expected.
Because of me.
That made my heart race a bit.
"Quit smirking and let's do one more."
"Yep."