Chapter 158
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Translator: penny
Chapter: 158
Chapter Title: Personality Excretion Enjoyed by All Ages
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I'd taken public transport to the neighboring district, but now what?
Just as that thought crossed my mind, Isabella vaulted over the wall in one fluid motion.
Parkour, just as I'd suspected!
Watching her navigate that complex terrain in a flash with those ample breasts and long hair swaying—it was impressive how effortlessly she moved her body.
Could I do that too?
I hadn't really needed to use my full strength against orcs or goblins, so I hadn't realized...
Hmm.
I could move my body even more freely than before.
It was astonishing—no real training, yet I was moving exactly as I envisioned, just as I pictured it in my head.
Isabella arrived in the alley first and handed me a Bluetooth earset for my ear as I followed.
"Put it on."
"What's this for?"
"Evangeline's out with us today too."
Evangeline, the vice president. The one I'd seen before the exchange match?
The one with the lush brown hair and generous bust, radiating maternal warmth.
The moment I slipped the earset into my ear, a sweet voice tickled my eardrum.
"Hi there? Sanghyeok. Doing well since the exchange match?"
"Yes, I've been good. And you, Senior?"
"Busy as can be. The exchange match had a record number of injuries, you know. Oh, that's my job—taking care of that stuff. You stopped by the academy hospital briefly when you passed out~."
"Thanks to you, I recovered well. Appreciate it."
I'd woken up in the infirmary already.
But apparently, she'd tended to my wounds there before that.
"Etsol Academy's Healing Squad Angel One! Remember that. If you get hurt on today's mission, I'm the one patching you up~."
Having two third-year seniors watching my back felt reassuring.
"I'm ready."
"Today's opponents are irregular-type villains that spilled out from the Forbidden Zone. The police are holding them back for now, but it's time for heroes to step in."
"I got the gist from the president. What's an irregular-type villain?"
"Villains who grow some alien element on their bodies instead of normal human parts."
Alien element?
"You'll see when you spot them, but be careful—they're only for B-Rank heroes and up."
"Why bring me to something like that..."
My eyes met Isabella's.
"To rack up achievements. This is the best shot."
"Events like this don't come around often. Time to show everyone what kind of hero Onahole Man is."
Good thing I'd brought all my weapons just in case.
The president used her magic armament for hero work anyway. Should be fine for me too, right?
"We already confirmed your skills at the exchange match. You're more than capable."
"I'll give it a shot. But what's my current level like?"
"If there are about 2,000 B-Rank heroes nationwide, you'd rank in the top ten."
That was a surprisingly specific assessment.
"Master Personality Excretion, and you could aim for A-Rank."
"I've already bumped my stats past A-Rank."
"Just so you know, hero and hunter ranking systems are different."
...This felt oddly familiar.
"Is the ceiling S-Grade, by any chance?"
"I thought you knew nothing, but you're not totally clueless."
Of course—you're S-Grade!
Hunters topped at SS, heroes at SSS? No—hunters had no SSS, heroes no SS.
Both systems seemed one rank lower than I'd imagined.
These heroines are the real deal.
And me?
I didn't even consider myself proper hero material.
Just an academy student dutifully following the student council president's pet project, racking up volunteer hours.
"Moving out."
"Got it."
No time for second thoughts.
The main street was abuzz. A police line marked "Do Not Cross" encircled the incident site in a wide loop.
Police guarded the area, but civilians ignored them, snapping photos of the villain with their smartphones.
A burly man in a black trench coat faced off against armed police, causing chaos.
Heading in there?
Isabella flashed her student ID, crossed the line, and glanced back at me.
"Kim Sanghyeok."
"Ah..."
I didn't like it.
But with Isabella waiting, no choice.
I'm trusting that Isabella butt of mine.
"It's White Devil!"
"Onahole Man's with her too!"
"Kyaa~!"
These people...
Police and a villain are wreaking havoc right now!
Why aren't they running?
"Sign please! Onahole Man!"
"Onahole Man!"
"...We had that nice name 'Jelly Guy,' but everyone's stuck on Onahole Man."
"Be glad you're not just some Personality Excretion hero."
The moment the president spoke, a voice chimed in from somewhere.
"Personality Jelly Hero!"
Something got mashed together?
Anyway, I planned to hang back and observe from afar, but the president patted my back.
"Handle it yourself."
"Me?"
That villain looked pissed. Messy hair, bloodshot eyes, threatening police with a knife in his right hand.
The police fired live rounds but could only make him pause.
As they retreated with batons drawn, all eyes turned to me and Isabella, standing there in our uniforms.
"Reporters are filming."
"You didn't mention this many eyes..."
"That's why I brought you."
No helping it, huh?
If I'm a hero, I should...
As I hesitated, Isabella glanced at me and...
"Kim Sanghyeok. Come here."
"Yes?"
She straightened my necktie.
...Thump thump.
"Trying to show this off to everyone?"
"What? Just making sure you don't tarnish the academy's dignity on camera."
"...Everyone's watching like crazy. Student Council President's newlywed moment."
"Newly...wed...?"
...If she brought me for a scoop like this, that's on her.
This'll definitely go viral as White Devil Shorts.
"Ahem!"
The president shoved me forward and regained her composure.
Too late for that...
Anyway, facing a knife-wielding maniac... without my monster-fighting experience, it might've been tough.
They say run from armed assailants.
That's when it happened.
"Ack!"
A female officer got grabbed by the villain. Fellow officers tried to rescue her, but no luck.
Spotting his extreme agitation, I drew my Glock, shot his head to make him drop her, then two to the chest.
Tactical Shooting
Perception (Red) Activated
With the officer as a hostage, police couldn't fire freely. I was certain I'd hit now, and the bullets struck true.
"Gah!!"
The villain toppled backward. The Glock that melted B+ Rank magic armaments worked like a charm.
"A hero!"
"Hero's here!"
The police lit up.
No dodging the spotlight now.
Civilians cheered.
"Kyaa~! He's so handsome!"
"What's going on? What hero? Onahole Man? What's an onahole?? I'm becoming an onahole fan!"
"Jelly Guy's taking charge here!! Come watch!"
Let's wrap this quick.
More people are gathering.
I aimed my Glock at the villain, approaching slowly,
and called out to the fallen female officer.
"You okay?"
"Ow... Think I twisted my leg..."
That freak had swung her body like a toy with monstrous strength.
How do I handle a guy like that?
Isabella just watched, arms crossed.
"Huff... Why's an academy kid here..."
"I'm a hero. I'll handle him."
I slammed the Glock into the rising villain's head again.
Bang!
"Gurk!"
Guy takes a bullet and goes "Gurk."
Meanwhile, his fellow officers helped her retreat.
Snapping to, it was just me versus the villain one-on-one.
Damn... Laughable situation, but I gotta say the cheesy line!
"This is your warning. Drop the weapon and surrender unless you want to become an onahole."
Miranda Rights (Onahole ver.)
"Onaholes have no right to an attorney, and even if I sell you off for my own pleasure, you can't complain!"
"Hmph."
Isabella smirked, pleased with my harsh words.
Suddenly, he lunged.
No death threat, eyes wild with frenzy, stabbing at me with the knife.
It was abrupt, but my body reacted on instinct.
Mask of Evil reads the enemy's movements.
I see it!
I grabbed his knife arm, twisted, and flung him aside.
"Gah!"
Just a graze from the blade, but no mark on my skin.
I could feel my strength far outmatched his.
Superhuman power?
Is this my current strength?
Punching feels better than shooting, that's how overflowing it is.
"Whoa! Fighting great!"
"Onahole Man!"
"Onahole Man!"
...That cheer feels a bit off.
The villain rose again.
"The gut... see it?"
Then Evangeline's voice came through the earset.
Gut?
Some weird black protrusion was bulging there.
"Yeah, I see it."
"Just watch out for that, and you're good. Now, Sanghyeok—time for your trademark. Show 'em Personality Excretion."
"I'd rather not if I can help it... but everyone's low-key expecting it, huh..."
"Skip it, and they'll be disappointed."
"...Sigh."
Who'd have thought Personality Excretion would become Seoul's all-ages spectacle...
Sorry, villain, but we can't drag this into a marathon brawl till exhaustion.
Playtime's over.
"What... are you!"
The villain growled.
"Doesn't matter. Choose: onahole or stay human."
"Hero... A hero. You filthy pests. Think you're apostles of justice?"
He slammed the ground, suddenly running his mouth. This guy.
"Nah. Just an academy student here for volunteer hours."
"I'll kill the hero!"
A twisted black ghostly arm burst from his gut.
Evangeline's warning kept me from panicking. Perception traced its path; I dodged and opened Onahole Inventory.
"Kushina!"
"Yess~!"
Our cute bikini serial exhibitionist turned transparent onahole and struck the villain!
"Guh! Urk!"
As he recoiled and retracted the arm, I charged and slammed a full-weight front kick.
"Personality Excretion Front Kick!!"
The villain tumbled back, spewing jelly.
The crowd's cheers swelled.
"...Become an onahole."
Plop.
Kushina scooped the plump onahole near his waist into my inventory.
Threat neutralized.
"That tenacious irregular-type villain down in one shot!"
"Not even twitching anymore?"
Everyone stared curiously at the now-familiar empty husk of a villain.
The police poked him, then rushed to cuff him—guessing he might rise.
No chance of that...
Acquired hint [Where is the Female Villain?]
Encyclopedia Collection Bonus: +1 Stamina
Stingy bonus...
A closer look showed it wasn't even a collection effect.
Just a hint toward one.