When the Lost Past Appeared in Reality

A few minutes after Wa Sol sent a photo to the Utopia group chat, the mala tang was served right to our table.

We started eating at once. Unlike the rest of us, already used to the ma and la, Hae-an looked a little flustered by a taste he was meeting for the first time.

"Ugh, it's stronger than I expected..."

"It's like that for everyone at first."

"Hehe. Hae-an's still young."

"Well, he's younger than Wa Sol, at least."

"..."

"Y-younger than me, too. I just meant Hae-an is young, that's all."

I wasn't calling Wa Sol old. So stop glaring at me in silence...

"U-um, by the way. Could I... ask one thing?"

Hae-an set his spoon down for a moment and turned to Wa Sol. I could read the atmosphere. He was about ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠to bring up Kiri.

"...Sure. I'll tell you whatever I can."

Wa Sol answered while keeping a careful distance, drawing a clear line. Hearing the implication that she would not answer anything that crossed it, Hae-an nodded and spoke again.

"Kiri is really good at games. Has she always been that good?"

"Hmm. Just a talent I stumbled on by chance. Hehe."

"Ah... she's good at pretty much every game. Is there some kind of secret?"

"A secret... Honestly, once I try something I just get a feel for it almost instinctively. So I can't really explain it."

"As expected. Kiri's a talent monster, then."

"Ahem."

I cleared my throat loud enough for Hae-an to ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠hear as he kept lining up more questions. Even though she had said he could ask, the questions were piling up and I was worried he might cross the line, so I stepped in.

"Ah, sorry. I got carried away without realizing."

"It's fine. None of the questions crossed the line."

"I... felt like I was at a fan meeting. So my excitement got a little high, I guess."

A fan meeting. Hearing him put it that way felt strangely familiar.

I understood the feeling. I had met Gyu-ri myself.

...Maybe Hae-an and I had more in common than I thought.

"Honestly, I know showing this kind of interest toward a senior like you is something I shouldn't do to Gachi hyung either. But still... knowing Kiri is right here... I just... can't control myself..."

"..."

One month.

That was how long I had spent with Hae-an. It wasn't short, but it wasn't all that long either—yet I already knew he wasn't a bad guy.

He apologized when he was sorry, and got angry when something warranted anger.

He was simply honest with his own feelings.

"Well, I get it. But... yeah, I'd appreciate it if you were a little more careful."

I still had to say what needed saying. Otherwise it would be rude not just to me, but to Wa Sol as well.

"I know. I already said I had no intention of spreading this around. I just... wanted to feel that fan-meeting kind of atmosphere for a bit. Honestly, this is the first time I've ever had a favorite like this."

"I know... Eve was my first favorite toooo!!"

"Eve this, Eve that, every single day!"

Ah, right. Mentioning Eve like that in front of Wa Sol was taboo.

I really never grow, do I.

But it just slips out without me realizing... what am I supposed to do...

"Haa. Honestly, the moment you said you were Gachi's friend, I didn't really put my guard up that much. Gachi has a good eye for people."

"Really?"

"Yeah. He fell for me, after all."

"True."

"Hehe."

How many people like Wa Sol could there be in this world... No. There was absolutely no one else.

The fact that I had fallen for someone like her and was dating her meant my eye for people was definitely excellent.

Hae-an watched our little exchange and quietly laughed for a moment. The heat must have faded, because he picked up his spoon again and went back to the mala tang.

"I told you last time, too. You two really suit each other."

Hearing him say that in passing, Wa Sol looked at me and asked,

"He said that?"

"Yeah. It was before we started dating, though."

"Hmm... Hae-an's likability just went up a little inside me."

"That's kind of you ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠to say. Haha."

Honestly, claiming I hadn't been wary at all would have been a lie.

But the Hae-an I had come to know wasn't the type to lack basic decency. You could tell just from the way he had acted today.

This guy... he had been watching my reactions all day long.

He must feel bad. But he still doesn't know what to do with the feelings inside him.

A kid who had just turned twenty couldn't be expected to control those kinds of feelings well.

When I first met Eve, I couldn't easily hide how much I wanted to see her either. It was only because I had gone into the closed-off world of the military that I had managed to regulate those feelings to some degree.

...Yeah. Hae-an and I really do have a lot in common.

"Later... if we get the chance, want to play some games together, the three of us?"

"...Is that okay?"

My suggestion must have been quite unexpected, because Hae-an, still holding his spoon, asked me back in surprise. I looked at Wa Sol.

Catching the meaning of that look, she let out a light sigh as if she had no choice, then smiled at me and shrugged.

"Well, playing for a bit on a secondary account should be fine. Hae-an, are you any good at games?"

"Uh... average, I guess."

"Okay. Better than Gachi, then."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means he won't be carrying two logs~"

Logs? That's harsh.

Still, I pride myself on being better than Eve, at least.

...Even I have to admit that's nothing to brag about.

"Ah, have you two already played games together?"

"Yeah. I got every curse word in the book thrown at me."

"Hahaha, did I really~?"

Looks like she's trying to brush it off.

I remember it clearly. During midterms she said if we just played once she'd focus on studying, so we did... Studying, my ass.

I spent four whole hours just listening to Wa Sol curse.

...Well, it was fun, though.

"Please don't do that to Hae-an."

"I won't. The only ones I do that to are Eve and Gachi."

"...That's special treatment, right?"

"Yep! It means I love you."

So I should forgive her, then?

Still, cursing because you love someone...

That's some heavy love.

"Haa, haa... Sorry. I'm gonna go grab some water real quick."

Even while we had been chatting, Hae-an had kept eating the mala tang, and now he seemed to hit his limit again as he stood up to get water.

"As I thought..."

Wa Sol murmured quietly then. What was she about to say?

"Gachi was a special person."

"...Special? Did I do something today?"

"No. Just... watching Hae-an try to ask me all sorts of things made me realize it all over again."

Wa Sol looked at me with a shy smile. That smile, which still made my heart race just from looking at it, scored about a ninety-five, and keeping that smile she spoke to me.

"Normally people would ask a lot of things, just like Hae-an just did. But Gachi... you never ask me those kinds of things."

It was true—even after we started dating, I never really asked about Eve or Kiri or Utopia. I never brought up Wa Sol's past first, either.

But was that really something special?

"I don't feel like I've done anything particularly special."

"That's exactly why it's good. I can feel that you're only looking at the me of right now. Thanks to you, I can look only at the present, too. I'm always grateful for that~"

There's nothing to be grateful for.

I'm the one who should be grateful. For taking something so small and giving it that much meaning, for making me feel special.

Ah. So this is what that feeling is like.

"I just felt it again, too. How special Wa Sol is."

"Hm? In what way?"

"The part where you make me feel special."

"What~ That's just natural. You're my boyfriend, aren't you? The most special person in the world."

Wa Sol said it while lightly pressing a finger against my cheek. As she spoke she still held that dazzling smile, and staring at it I forgot where I was and what was happening.

Without realizing it, I took her hand and pulled her toward me.

She came into my arms without any resistance and asked in a sweet voice,

"...What. Is this okay here?"

"Sorry. I did it without thinking."

"Why are you apologizing? Hehe."

The quiet laugh she made as she leaned into my ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠embrace tickled my ear. No wonder she worked with her voice. That voice kept stimulating my ears like this...

And because of that, I wanted to stay like this a little longer.

No—I wanted to feel Wa Sol a little more deeply.

"Um, excuse me."

But whatever came next never happened.

Because Hae-an, who had gone to get water, had come back.

"Sorry to interrupt, but... that person over there... do you know them?"

Hae-an seemed to know he had come back at a bad time, too.

But apparently there was something that caught his attention even at a moment like that.

In the end I turned my head in the direction he was pointing.

And I doubted my own eyes.

In that instant, a past I had forgotten until now began replaying in my mind.

Feelings that had once been genuine. But feelings that would never return again.

The woman who had made me feel those emotions was standing in front of the shop, looking at us. Time had changed her a little, but I was certain. That woman was the girl from my memories.

"Why is she here?"

"Why is she here?"

The words came from both my mouth and Wa Sol's at the same time.

And in an instant I understood that those words had been about the same person.

"Gachi. Do you know that girl?"

"...Yeah. You know her too, Wa Sol?"

When I answered Wa Sol, who had asked first, she nodded as well. If Wa Sol knew her... that probably meant she was connected to Utopia.

Then, could it be...

My chest began to stir restlessly.

So much information flooded into my head at once that I felt dizzy. More than anything, how was I supposed to face her right now?

The woman watching us from beyond the shop door... my first love.

And right in front of the girlfriend I loved now.