The Heart That Thinks of That Person
Wa Sol’s Side.
From the moment I first sent Gachi’s photo into the group chat, Vivi had taken an oddly intense interest in him.
Asking his name, how old he was, what he was doing now.
Whether we were still dating properly.
At first I figured she was simply curious because I’d gotten a boyfriend at all.
But little by little I began to suspect that wasn’t it.
Because Vivi’s tone somehow… resembled the way I’d been talking to Eve lately.
Yes. A jealous tone.
The Vivi I could see right now looked as if she were hovering outside the shop, reading our faces, trying to decide whether to come in.
Why this place at this hour? Coincidence? Or had she come after seeing the photo I’d just sent?
Thinking it over alone wouldn’t give me an answer.
In truth there was only one thing I needed to do. Welcome the Vivi I’d “coincidentally” run into and bring her inside.
That was my job right now.
But I couldn’t quite bring myself to do it.
“…”
Probably because Gachi had looked startled when he saw Vivi for some reason I didn’t know. Call it a woman’s intuition, but right then I didn’t want to let Gachi meet her.
“She’s been watching the two of you for a while. Never actually came in, though.”
Hae-an sat down, still nursing his tingling tongue with a glass of water. From what he said, she’d been standing out there alone for quite some time…
“Haa…”
Inside Utopia we have a few rankings we settled among ourselves.
For example, the bust ranking Eve decided. For the record, I’m dead last…
And the energy ranking Tita set. First is Eve, second Tita, third me. Fourth is Vivi.
Because Vivi mainly does storytelling and ASMR, she’s by far the quietest, most demure member of Utopia.
That holds true off-stream as well; when we first met in person before we were close, she barely spoke.
Even now, that same personality was probably what kept her from walking in.
“No choice, then.”
Whatever the reason. Once our eyes had met, I couldn’t pretend she wasn’t there.
Leaving her alone like that was honestly pitiful too.
“Wa Sol?”
“I’ll be right back.”
I smiled at Gachi as he called after me, then walked toward Vivi. She still looked completely lost as she watched me approach.
She could have just said hello. Weird girl… not that I could really say that out loud.
Vivi reminded me of myself when I’d first entered university.
Someone who couldn’t properly voice her own opinions, always trying to escape by leaning on someone else.
“What brings you here?”
“…Ah, hi?”
I couldn’t help laughing at the way she only now managed a greeting. On top of that, her outfit looked like she’d dressed to meet someone special, so I was certain this meeting was no accident.
“Sorry… I just spotted you while I was passing by…”
Lie.
The way she avoided my eyes while speaking made it obvious she had no confidence in her own words.
“I was wondering whether I should say hello… but there were other people too.”
“Hmm~ So what are you going to do? You’ve already said hi to me.”
“Ah, well…”
When I teased her a little, Vivi lowered her head as if those large breasts made her upper body too heavy, trailing off.
Her manner reminded me so sharply of my own dark history that I felt a twinge of emotion and decided to say what she clearly wanted to say for her.
“Or.”
Of course the thought Should I really say this? crossed my mind.
“Want to eat with us?”
But… it was already happening. I wanted to know properly.
Why Gachi had been startled by Vivi, why Vivi was so interested in Gachi.
Even if it ended up making me a little… sulky.
“…Okay.”
“Then let’s go in.”
I opened the door and gestured for her to follow, and once again I thought how remarkable Gachi was.
Even in a situation like this, he would never ask that person a single question.
He had to be curious and concerned.
As expected, Gachi really was special.
Unlike me.
After bringing Vivi inside, I sat her in the only empty seat—next to Hae-an. Of course, with her personality, sitting beside a stranger might be uncomfortable.
But there was no way I was seating her next to my Gachi.
“I’ll introduce you. A close friend of mine. Her name is Choi Bi-an.”
“…Nice to meet you.”
Vivi—no, Bi-an—greeted him quietly. Hae-an gave a small nod in return. And Gachi—
“…”
—simply looked at her in silence.
I couldn’t read the emotion in his eyes.
But somehow the mere fact that he was looking at Bi-an didn’t sit well with me.
“What do you mean, nice to meet you?”
Gachi spoke suddenly.
There was nothing negative in his tone. Just his usual voice as he looked at Bi-an and said,
“Long time no see. How have you been?”
…Yeah.
It had been that obvious.
I’d already realized long ago that these two knew each other. Still, hearing him say it out loud… was a bit of a shock.
“…Yeah. I’ve been well.”
Bi-an looked briefly surprised by Gachi’s bluntness, then her face relaxed and she answered in her ordinary voice.
Most people would have been startled by Vivi’s voice—the most beautiful in Utopia—but what surprised me most was that Bi-an was using her real voice in front of someone she’d just met.
Was it because I was beside her that she felt safe? Or because of Gachi?
“Gachi, have you been well?”
Even I, who knew nothing of their past, could feel the longing in that question.
Then Gachi must have felt it too.
“I’ve been well.”
As he answered, he took my hand. The grip was a little stronger than usual; my heart fluttered before a puzzled feeling settled in.
“Thanks to someone precious.”
He showed Bi-an our joined hands.
The gesture itself made me happy, yet another thought rose at the same time.
It almost looked like he was doing it on purpose—for her to see.
“…Yeah. I knew. Wa Sol occasionally sent photos.”
“Ah, right. I did send a lot of the ones we took.”
“Yeah, so… I know well.”
Bi-an lowered her head and murmured. Really, what kind of relationship did these two have?
Maybe because I’d been with Gachi so constantly lately, I felt reluctant to ask casually about something like this.
Infected by him… no.
I’d simply fallen for that side of him, and I didn’t want to do the opposite in front of him.
“Um… are you two acquaintances by any chance?”
Then Hae-an’s perfect assist.
Nice one, Hae-an. I’ll buy you a meal later!
“Yeah, high school classmates.”
“That’s right. We graduated from the same school.”
“Ah… what a curious coincidence. Classmates both getting close to the same person.”
“It is… a curious coincidence.”
But I still hadn’t heard everything I wanted. They couldn’t just be classmates.
Otherwise neither Gachi’s behavior nor Vivi’s attitude made sense.
“Were you two very close?”
Hae-an seemed pretty sociable. Talking easily even to strangers, asking whatever he was curious about without reading the room.
That side of him was helpful right now, so I was simply grateful.
“Yes. Extremely close.”
“…”
Unlike Bi-an, who answered at once, Gachi closed his mouth and said nothing. The hand holding mine tightened a little more.
He looked at me.
“…”
I didn’t know what he wanted to say, but when I looked back our eyes met.
A brief silence stretched between us.
…
“I trust you.”
“!”
I still don’t know why I said that to him in that silence.
Gachi’s eyes widened, then a comfortable smile settled on his face as he turned away again.
“Right. We were close. She was my first love.”
“Eh!?”
“Ah…”
At the words he tossed out so casually, Hae-an startled and Bi-an stared blankly at him.
“…”
…Yeah. I’d roughly expected it. The atmosphere between them had never been just friendship.
But it still hurt.
I… am Gachi’s first love.
It wasn’t something I should feel disappointed about, yet the disappointment rose anyway, and I could feel my own lips pushing out in a pout.
“Uuu…”
My sulking hand.
Squeeze.
Gachi wrapped it in both of his, and somehow the disappointed feeling began to fade.
“But now there’s Wa Sol.”
“Oh, so cool.”
…Tch. I admit it.
But it’s unfair.
“Are you sulking?”
“…I don’t know.”
Unfair, unfair, unfair.
Go Gachi is just ridiculously unfair.
He plays with my heart completely.
“…Hmph.”
“You’re sulking. Definitely sulking.”
“I’m not sulking.”
“Aww, doesn’t seem like it~”
Don’t copy my speech!
I wanted to shout it… but I settled for resting my head on his shoulder instead.
“Haha, well, first love’s like that. Still unexpected. I thought hyung only ever looked at Eve and had zero interest in real girls.”
“Before I met Eve I didn’t know anything about subculture. Our school was… how to put it… a place that turned students into studying machines.”
Come to think of it, I didn’t know much about Gachi’s high school either.
Watching him study now, he must have been a good student then too, and it was probably one of those schools only top students attended.
“Yeah. Honestly there aren’t many good memories from that place.”
Bi-an, having gone to the same school, seemed to share the feeling and agreed. That somehow felt like glimpsing a Gachi I didn’t know… jealousy.
“The only memories I can really call memories are the ones with Gachi.”
“Hearing that from my first love is an honor.”
At words that slightly crossed the line for something said to a man who already had a girlfriend, Gachi drew a clear boundary by putting distance between them.
As expected, Gachi’s first love hadn’t been one-sided. Bi-an’s first love, too, for sure…
“Haven’t you dated since university? You were popular in high school too.”
“…I’ve done the almost-dating thing. But none of them went all the way.”
“You’ll meet someone good soon.”
“I… don’t really know.”
Even a stranger listening could tell how each of them still thought of the other.
One side had already sorted out their feelings; the other still… held on.
And the one still holding on was—
“Choi Bi-an.”
“Yes?”
When I called her name, Bi-an—who had been staring only at Gachi—finally looked at me. Sorry, but the one who brought you here was me.
“Let’s make one thing clear.”
“…What?”
“Do you still like Gachi?”
“Wa Sol?”
“What? What do you mean by that?”
Gachi’s face showed pure shock, as if he’d never imagined I would ask directly. Ignoring Hae-an, who still hadn’t finished processing the situation, I looked straight at Bi-an.
“…What?”
“Say it clearly.”
Bi-an’s lips were pressed tight as she stared back at me with the same intensity. For her, it was almost a glare.
“Why are you asking that?”
“You know why.”
For Bi-an to speak in this tone—probably the first time.
“Looking at my boyfriend with eyes full of lingering attachment like that. As his girlfriend, how could I not care?”
“…”
I had no intention of cutting ties with her. Being in the same Utopia was one reason, but I simply liked Bi-an as a person. It wasn’t for nothing that, even though I was older, we called each other like friends.
So this was something I had to do if we were going to stay together from now on.
“I… uh…”
Bi-an trailed off, looking at Gachi as if pleading for help. He lightly shook his head.
Understanding that the gesture was a clear refusal, Bi-an… made a slightly sad face.
“…I like him. Still. Of course I do. If it’s you, Wa Sol, you’d know… how special Gachi is…”
“I know. That’s exactly why. I’d like you to stop. Gachi isn’t your first love anymore. He’s my boyfriend.”
“…!”
At the words that drove the stake in, Bi-an stood up. I was a little startled by the emotional face I’d never seen on her before, but I refused to look away.
“You don’t even know. Wa Sol… you don’t even know.”
Her voice now sounded close to tears.
Yeah. I don’t know. The Gachi of that time.
But the Gachi of now—I know better than anyone.
I don’t know how sincere you are, but Gachi at least…
I will never yield to anyone.
“We back then… really… hng.”
Saying that, Bi-an left the table. After she was gone, an awkward silence settled over us.
No one spoke.
“I don’t think you were too harsh, Wa Sol.”
Gachi, still wrapping my hand, spoke. The warmth of his palm slowly seeped into me, traveled up my arm, and finally reached my heart, filling it.
“It was something that needed to be said. I’m the one who should be sorry for not saying it myself.”
“No. This kind of thing has to be settled between women. And I felt your heart clearly enough.”
“Then that’s a relief.”
Yeah. Looking at Bi-an’s face, this was something that had to be faced someday. So it was better that it happened now.
If there was one thing that bothered me…
Hae-an was the biggest collateral damage.
“…Sorry somehow. An unrelated person ended up hearing all that.”
“Can’t be helped. What just happened was basically a natural disaster.”
“That too, but… never mind. Looking at hyung just now, I don’t think I need to worry.”
“I feel the same. Honestly, seeing Gachi’s reaction put me at ease.”
Because he had clearly drawn a line with Bi-an. His kind nature kept him from being cold, but even that was so like him.
“You’re only looking at me now, right?”
“Of course.”
“Then that’s enough.”
I wrapped my hands around the ones that were already holding mine. This way he could feel my warmth too.
“But is that person also related to Utopia somehow?”
…I know comparing Gachi to someone else like this is wrong. Still, the thought rose unbidden.
If it were Gachi, he would never ask a question like that.
“Don’t ask that kind of thing.”
“Ah, sorry. I’m sorry, sunbae.”
As proof, Gachi immediately rebuked him.
Watching Hae-an apologize at once, he didn’t seem like a bad person. Being Gachi’s friend, maybe that was only natural.
“Then let’s get up. Honestly I’m full now.”
“Let’s. Ah, would it be a problem if I left first?”
“It’s fine. We’re just going home to snuggle anyway.”
“…Don’t say that kind of thing so openly.”
Exactly. I fully agreed with Hae-an on that one.
Had he been saying things like that to his friends all along?
A little… embarrassing.
Hae-an’s Side.
“Then I’ll head off here. Sunbae, thanks for the meal today.”
“Yeah, take care.”
“Hae-an, get home safe. See you later.”
“Yes~”
After saying goodbye to Gachi hyung and Wa Sol-sunbae, I started walking toward the dorm.
On the way I replayed everything that had happened today… it had been a more chaotic day than expected.
I never thought I’d run into Gachi hyung’s first love there. And from the way they talked, it sounded like the feelings had been mutual. One side still didn’t seem to have completely let go.
“Wa Sol-sunbae’s got it rough too. Well, Gachi hyung will take good care of her.”
Gachi hyung was reliable. That was probably one of the things that made her fall for him.
Thinking back on the two of them, I decided they really suited each other.
And realizing I could think that way put me at ease.
“…Yeah. As expected. Nothing’s really changed.”
Even after everything that happened, the way I felt about Gachi hyung and Wa Sol-sunbae hadn’t shifted at all.
To be honest, ever since I learned Wa Sol-sunbae was Kiri, my heart had been racing and I’d been thinking only of her. With that constant flutter I even wondered if maybe I liked her, but—
Seeing the two of them together again, talking with them, I understood.
I didn’t harbor special feelings for Wa Sol-sunbae after all. That racing heart was probably just the elevated feeling of having my first accepted VTuber—my oshi, Kiri—right beside me.
I’d suggested eating with her today partly to confirm that, and luckily I got the result I wanted.
“Even if I had liked her, I don’t think I could have stolen her. Thinking about it that way, the real person in trouble is that other one. Name was… ‘Bi-an,’ right?”
The person I’d just seen and spoken with today.
I found myself thinking she was a little pitiful, still carrying a love that could never be fulfilled.