If You're Jealous, Just Date
After the holiday ended, it was back to the hellish grind of university life. There was a world of difference between heading to class after a normal weekend of rest and returning after a long break.
Time crawled by. And as if that weren’t bad enough, the mountain of assignments felt like an actual bomb going off. University was the root of all evil.
Chae-yeon had been hit with the same assignment deluge, which meant we wouldn’t be able to see each other this weekend. Without her, I decided to meet up with the guys from the writers’ group.
I needed to give Su-ho the full report, after all.
“Hey, you’re all here already.”
“We raced here faster than anyone else, in our own unique way, just to hear the spicy details of your story.”
“Jung-woo, so did you start dating?”
“The greatest output our writers’ group has ever produced—Teacher To-sin himself.”
“How can there be output with zero input?”
“Come on, I gave him that much consultation. That counts as input.”
“By the way, what’s Gyeon-woo doing over there?”
“Him? Carving Jukchang spears.”
Even though I hadn’t said a single word about what happened that day, everyone had already accepted my new relationship as established fact.
I sat down at their table and quietly showed them my phone wallpaper.
“Fuck. A traitor who betrayed the solo army. Traitor! Kill him!”
“Wait, hold on. Su-ho, you’re the one who gave me the free Ramji Land pass and told me to confess.”
“Yeah, I did. But you actually became a couple. That’s more than enough reason to kill you.”
What kind of nonsense was that? If that was how he felt, he shouldn’t have given me the pass in the first place.
All five writers stared at me without blinking. I looked to Ha-jin as my last hope, but he was clearly treating this as someone else’s problem and deliberately looking away.
“To-sin, are you happy?”
“Fucking happy. So this is what dating feels like.”
“Whoa!! I seriously want to kill you right now.”
“That’s the tenth Jukchang. Ninety more to go.”
“Gyeon-woo, exactly how many spears are you carving to turn me into a human hedgehog?”
“Your face is practically glowing. I almost didn’t recognize you.”
“Just how happy are you? I need to know.”
Ji-seong had fully adapted to the writers’ group. He was showing his true malicious colors now. He and Su-ho talked about soccer all the time—maybe that was the bad influence.
“I have someone to tell about my day. Someone who’ll always pick up when I call. It’s honestly amazing.”
“So how many days has it been since you started dating?”
“It’s been four days now.”
“A fresh little couple. We’ll take all that happiness and convert it into our own misery.”
In this atmosphere, saying what I was thinking would be irreversible. Still, the words tickled at my throat. I’d been dying to say it at least once.
The moment the words left my mouth… a riot erupted.
“All right, shall we kill the founder of our writers’ group and elect a new one?”
“Excellent suggestion. This cannot be overlooked.”
“I was going to make a hundred spears and then stab you, but never mind. Time to evolve the rabbit into a hedgehog.”
“Jung-woo? Today is your last day on this earth.”
“Jung-woo, it’s been fun. I can’t protect you from this.”
Everyone except Ha-jin was closing in on me. Sensing mortal danger, I instinctively called Yeoni and switched to speakerphone.
“Yeoni!!!”
“Yeah, Jung-woo. What’s going on?”
“They’re trying to kill me. Save me.”
“They? Didn’t you do something to deserve it?”
“No, I just told them we started dating and said if they’re jealous they should go date someone themselves.”
“What? That’s your own karma.”
“Jung-woo? Sounds like Hyeong-su-nim is on our side.”
“Yeoni. I’m actually going to die here. If I die you’ll never see me again!”
“Hmm… I don’t like the idea of not seeing you anymore. Can everyone hear me right now?”
“Yes, Hyeong-su-nim. We can hear you clearly.”
“Jung-woo only said that because he was happy and wanted to brag a little. Don’t be too hard on him.”
“Hyeong-su-nim, the fact that he’s bragging already proves bad intent.”
“From the way you’re calling me Hyeong-su-nim, you must be the friend from back then?”
“Yes. I’m Kim Su-ho, Hyeong-su-nim.”
“My first impression of you wasn’t great, but now I think positively of you. Thank you for helping us.”
“I only helped because Jung-woo was being so frustrating.”
“If you hadn’t helped, I never would have ended up dating him. So please don’t be too hard on Jung-woo.”
“Ah, yes. Understood.”
“Yeoni, thank you.”
“You suddenly yelled and scared me. Have fun with the guys and call me later, okay?”
“Got it. Love you, Yeoni.”
“…The guys are all right there! What are you saying?!”
The call ended right after that. Yeoni’s reaction was exactly what I expected. It was adorable.
“To-sin, does Hyeong-su-nim hate me?”
“Well… when you greeted her by calling her Hyeong-su-nim, she wasn’t exactly thrilled at first.”
“So I’m on her bad side?”
“Like I said, she didn’t like it at first, but now she does.”
“If To-sin hadn’t gone through with the confession plan, I would have stayed on her blacklist forever.”
“Whatever. Let’s finish turning him into a Jukchang hedgehog.”
“No, I’m out. Hyeong-su-nim said she likes me now.”
“Kim Su-ho, you’re backing out? Wow, what a traitor.”
Su-ho has always been weak to compliments—especially from people he’s meeting for the first time. I’d aimed for exactly that weakness when I called Yeoni, and it had been the perfect move. Once the riot leader went quiet, everyone else calmed down too. The rebellion was over.
“You wicked rabbit. How did you know I’m weak to compliments?”
“Have I only known you a day or two? Of course I knew.”
“We’ll let it go today, but if you pull another stunt like this, I’ll turn your head into a fluffy rabbit tail.”
With the mood finally settled, I slowly walked them through the amusement park memories everyone was dying to hear.
“The first ride we got on was the Viking. Maybe because I’m so light, every time it dropped I felt like my whole body was floating.”
“Pfft. If you’d flown straight into the sky you would’ve become an ascended rabbit. What a shame.”
“Every couple has a different leader. Who leads between you and Hyeong-su-nim?”
“Yeoni does. She was in charge at the amusement park too.”
“The sickly rabbit needs constant care.”
“She basically put a collar on me and dragged me around. Her stamina is insane.”
“At this point shouldn’t we call her zookeeper instead of Hyeong-su-nim?”
When I actually thought about it, zookeeper didn’t seem entirely wrong. Ever since we started dating, Yeoni’s management of my daily routine had become extremely detailed. She didn’t let anything slide. If I told her I hadn’t eaten, her scolding hit my ears like thunder.
“Oh, and she insisted we go into the haunted house.”
“I can guess what happened. To-sin was probably clinging to Hyeong-su-nim the whole time.”
“Correct. I hugged her from behind like a body pillow. Yeoni didn’t get scared once.”
“The haunted house at Ramji Land is famous. With a reaction like that, Hyeong-su-nim must have nerves of steel.”
“I thought she was a robot.”
“Hey, I’m recording this. I’m telling Hyeong-su-nim everything.”
“When did you confess?”
“I was planning to do it after the parade, while we were on the Ferris wheel.”
“You were planning to… so you didn’t actually confess?”
They really were writers—their observation skills were terrifyingly sharp.
“Yeah. I thought the timing was perfect and was about to say it, but Yeoni confessed first.”
“Whoa, what a strong woman.”
“And this is the gift she gave me. Matching couple bracelets.”
“You’re already doing couple items?”
“Also, whenever I say ‘I love you’ or anything couple-like, she gets so embarrassed it’s hard for her to even listen. Her reaction is ridiculously cute.”
“To-sin, if your deception continues, we won’t be able to stay quiet.”
Wait, what did I just say?
If you’re jealous, just date.
Of course I didn’t say it out loud. If I had, the riot I’d barely suppressed would have started all over again.
“If I’d known it would turn out like this, I should have confessed sooner. Then I could have been the one to do it.”
“You frustrating rabbit bastard! That’s exactly why I told you to confess!”
“I wasn’t confident. I was too nervous. Looking back now, it was nothing at all.”
“In a way, we became a couple thanks to Su-ho, right?”
“Not in a way—it’s entirely thanks to Su-ho. I’ll buy you a meal next time.”
“In that case, would it be all right if I met Hyeong-su-nim in person?”
“You’re that curious?”
“Obviously. There’s not a single person here who isn’t dying to know.”
“Then… I’ll ask Yeoni. If she says it’s okay, I’ll introduce you all.”
They were malicious, sure, but they were all good guys at heart. I had a feeling Yeoni would like them too. It would probably make for a fun scene. They seemed like they’d get along surprisingly well.
And I’d get to watch them rub salt in each other’s wounds in real time. How could I possibly resist that? I really hoped Yeoni would say yes.