Dating Isn't So Bad
I started dating Jung-woo. Honestly, it still feels like I'm dreaming.
Jung-woo, who used to be just my friend, is now my boyfriend. I always thought we'd stay that way forever.
If I said I didn't like it, that would be a total lie.
Every single day feels so special that it leaves me with nothing but happy memories. It's the kind of happiness that makes me think each moment is precious.
I want to see him right this second, but since I'm going to school in another city, I can't meet him whenever I want. On top of that, this weekend is completely packed with assignments, so I can't even go back to Gwangju.
Even seeing him every day wouldn't be enough, yet here I am, stuck drowning in homework. The frustration is killing me.
“Chae-yeon.”
“Yeah, what?”
“Did something good happen lately? Your mouth won't stop smiling.”
“Of course something good happened.”
“What is it? What happened? Wait… don't tell me you're dating someone?!”
As expected, Ju-hee has killer instincts. She figured it out without me saying a word.
I never planned to hide the fact that I'm dating Jung-woo. If anything, I want to brag about it.
Without saying anything, I just showed Ju-hee my phone's wallpaper.
“No way!! You're actually dating?! That guy from back then?”
“Yeah. We're together now.”
“Since when?”
“Remember when I said I was going to the amusement park with him? Since then.”
“Don't tell me he confessed on the Ferris wheel or something like that?”
I knew Ju-hee was sharp, but at this point I'm seriously starting to wonder if she can read minds.
I didn't answer her question and just gave her a small smile.
“Wow… you traitor.”
“What do you mean, traitor? Weren't you the one pushing me to date him?”
“Even so, you're really dating him?!”
What kind of nonsense is she spouting first thing in the morning?
If she was pushing me to date him, that should mean she'd be fine with it if I actually started dating. So why is she having a meltdown like this?
“Do you like him?”
“Yeah, I like him so much. I'm seriously happy every single day.”
“No wonder you've been smiling every time I see you. You've been texting him, huh?”
“Oh, and just so you know, I was the one who confessed. Inside the Ferris wheel.”
“What?! He didn't confess to you?”
“He was planning to. I just beat him to it.”
“Lee Chae-yeon, you're such a strong woman. Even your confession had your personality written all over it.”
Right before I confessed to Jung-woo, I'd agonized over it countless times.
Was it really okay for me to confess? If he rejected me, how was I supposed to react?
Just thinking about that time still makes me squeeze my eyes shut in embarrassment.
“This is probably your first relationship, right? What about him? Is it his first time too?”
“No. He said he dated someone once in middle school.”
“Oh, an experienced guy. So you're the one taking the lead, huh?”
“It's not like I wanted to take the lead. It just kind of happened naturally while we were hanging out.”
“I'm so jealous. When am I going to start dating?”
“Won't you be dating soon too?”
“You think dating happens alone? It takes two!!”
Watching Ju-hee's reaction, there was one thing I'd been dying to say for a while now. Ugh, it's so ticklish I can't hold it in anymore.
“Dating isn't so bad.”
“Hey, you little—!!”
“Dating is pretty great. You get to have someone who's always happy with you and always on your side, right next to you.”
“Yeah, yeah. Must be nice. Ugh, maybe I should take some stomach medicine. My insides are burning.”
“I even gave him a gift. The same bracelet I'm wearing right now.”
“This was from him… wait, no. He's your boyfriend now. Your boyfriend gave it to you, right?”
“Yeah. Since we started dating, I thought it would be nice to do some couple stuff.”
—Vrrrr!!
“Look at that smile. Your boyfriend's calling, isn't he?”
“Yep!! Hold on.”
“It's so sweet. So sweet I think my teeth are going to rot!!”
“Isn't it cute?”
“I have no idea what you see that's cute.”
“His reactions are just too adorable.”
“Ugh, I hope all couples just drop dead.”
Even while saying that, Ju-hee's eyes never left my phone screen. I kept texting Jung-woo while she watched.
“I'm curious what his voice sounds like. Put him on speaker for a sec.”
“Okay. I'll ask him.”
The moment I saw his reply saying it was fine, I called him right away. As soon as the ringtone stopped, I heard Jung-woo's voice.
“Jung-woo!!”
“Ah, this is healing. Yeoni's voice is healing me.”
“My friend wanted to hear your voice, so I called.”
“Hello. I'm Ju-hee, Chae-yeon's friend.”
“Hello. Thank you for always being there for Chae-yeon.”
“Oh, it's nothing. By the way, do you like Chae-yeon?!”
“Yes, I like her a lot. I like her so much.”
Jung-woo poured out all his feelings to Ju-hee without holding anything back. It's always fascinating to watch him do that. How can he say everything so easily?
I want to be able to say everything like Jung-woo does. But every time I try, it feels like something is stuck in my throat and the words won't come out.
Since he's like that, I should do the same for him. I wonder when I'll be able to do it naturally.
“Calling her Yeoni—is that a pet name?”
“Yes, I made it up. I really wanted to call her that.”
“Wow… Chae-yeon, you're seriously in a proper relationship, huh?”
“What, did you think I was in a fake one?”
“If it's okay during break, maybe we could all meet up? I'm curious what it'd be like seeing you with your boyfriend.”
“Sure, I'd like that too.”
“Jung-woo, if it's too much trouble you don't have to agree.”
“It's not trouble at all. I want to meet her because she's your friend, Yeoni.”
I'd also agreed to meet Jung-woo's friends.
This whole thing of introducing each other to our friends.
It really makes me feel like I'm actually in a relationship.
“Study hard today. I'll call you again later!!”
“Okay!! I love you, Yeoni.”
“My friend's right here!!”
I hung up immediately.
I've gotten somewhat used to his sweet words when we're alone. But when there are other people around, or when someone I know is nearby, those kinds of expressions still feel incredibly awkward.
Why is Jung-woo so shameless about it?
“Chae-yeon, are you embarrassed?”
“J-just a little…”
“It's cute though. Why?”
“It's because it's awkward. I've never dated before, so…”
“Then why are you smiling?”
“B-because I do like it. It's not that I hate it.”
I've told myself this over a hundred times in my head.
I love you. I like you. I want to stay with you forever.
I want to tell Jung-woo until he gets sick of hearing it.
“I get that it's awkward, but you should still try expressing yourself.”
“Yeah… I know that too.”
“Just close your eyes and think of it as trying it once. It'll get easier after that.”
“That first time is the hard part though…”
Jung-woo seems to like this side of me, but I'm sure he wants me to say those things too.
If I keep making him wait like this, it won't lead to anything good.
I want to say it as soon as possible.
“Here, pretend I'm your boyfriend and try saying it.”
“Y-you?!”
“Yeah. You have to practice somehow.”
Obviously I couldn't get into it. But it wasn't like I could refuse.
With the mindset of grabbing at straws, I tried my best to picture being with Jung-woo in my head.
“Jung-woo.”
“Yeah!!”
“Ugh, wait. Don't answer. Hearing your voice completely breaks my focus.”
“Then I'll stay quiet. Try again.”
“Jung-woo, I l-love… I can't do it!!”
“If you can't even do this, what are you planning to do? Are you never going to say it in your whole life?!”
“That's true, but…”
“First, you need to get used to it. If you spend more time dating and being together, it'll get better.”
If what Ju-hee said actually happens, I wouldn't have any more wishes.
I was about to wrap things up and leave when Ju-hee rested her chin on her hand and stared at me with an uncomfortable intensity.
“What?”
“You still haven't told me what you like so much about him. You have to tell me that too.”
She gets annoyed and says her stomach hurts when I talk, but then begs me to tell her when I don't. I have no idea what rhythm I'm supposed to follow with her.
“He takes really good care of me. And… he's handsome.”
“Are you just blinded by his looks?”
“N-no, that's not it. There are other good things too, but his face is one of them.”
“If you only say he takes good care of you and that he's handsome, that sounds exactly like you're blinded by his looks.”
“I like everything about him. So much that I can't pick just one thing as especially good.”
“You're completely head over heels. Ugh, my stomach hurts.”
“If you hate it that much, why did you ask me to tell you?”
“Because I'm curious. It's my friend's first relationship.”
“Maybe I should rethink introducing you to Jung-woo.”
“What?! Why!!”
“I don't know what kind of things you'll say to him.”
Even though I said that to Ju-hee, honestly, I'm looking forward to it.
If we meet each other's friends, I'll get to see a new side of Jung-woo.
And then I'll get to feel something new while watching that new side of him.
I want to know even the smallest things. About Jung-woo.