It's Not a Fighting Sport!
"We should probably start a household registry system soon, don't you think?"
"A household registry?"
Knowing how many people we have is important, okay! Better to start simple.
"Yeah. It's like an ID — a document that says who lives where. I want you to make those."
"Why?"
Hm? Isn't that obvious? Oh right, they probably don't see the need yet.
"We're collecting taxes right now, aren't we?"
"That's right."
"How do you know how much to collect from each person?"
"Uh... well... they just pay whatever they think is fair and leave?"
Apparently people were so honest they just paid up on their own... but when it comes to money, things need to be precise.
"As the population grows, we need the registry organized. We have to know who lives where and how much they have. That makes collecting taxes and sending support where it's lacking much easier, doesn't it?"
Manpower will be short for this too, but whatever — we'll just have to do it.
"For now, work out a plan with the others so we can implement it later when we're ready."
"Yes. Even so, I think it would be wise to survey how many people are living where."
"Right. It'll help when it's time to levy taxes or decide who gets support."
Things feel like they're coming along nicely. Except for the slaves, anyway. The population and the nation were both growing by leaps and bounds.
Come to think of it, slaves might not be such a bad idea after all. We'll make use of them until the roads are finished.
Knock knock knock.
"It's me."
"Come in."
Goodness, he's gotten so old. Look at that hair going gray.
"Aigoo, there's my little baby Chancellor~"
"Ahem!"
You'll regret mocking me when you're older. Still, he grew up, got married, had a kid who then had kids of their own — now he's busy doting on his grandchildren.
He's a true patriot too, judging by how many children he's fathered.
"Are the little ones doing well?"
"Yes. They're noisy from morning to night."
With the kids marrying off and producing grandchildren of their own, the house must be bursting at the seams.
"That's a good thing~"
"Haneul-nim, why don't you marry as well?"
"Ugh, gross."
Marriage, huh... Honestly, watching the kids now and then like this is nicer.
"So, what brings you here today?"
"We're planning a major renovation of the rivers, but we're short on people."
"What? How many are you planning to bring in this time?"
"You told us before to get friendly with the east and the north so we could absorb them into our territory, remember?"
Yeah... I did? The Korean peninsula felt a bit wrong to bully, and Siberia in the north barely has any people to begin with.
"So we're planning to head west."
"Didn't you say the west was already picked clean?"
"No, not that west — the west beyond the great mountain range."
Ahaha... these kids have no fear at all. You're talking about crossing the Gobi Desert here? And there's barely any population that way anyway — hardly worth the effort.
"Forget it. The desert is way too big, and there aren't many people there."
"Oh? Is that so?"
"The best thing is to farm as much as we can and grow our own population. That's what matters."
"It's hard to have more children than we do now."
Yeah, I know. Any more than this and you'd be beasts...
"What about the ones who die from injuries or illness?"
"That's dropped enormously thanks to the Holy Water. It's especially effective on children."
Is the spread of the Holy Water helping? I remember one bottle could be diluted at an absurd ratio — good to know it's actually working.
Right. As long as the children survive, we're fine.
"Think a thousand years ahead. Even if we don't use it now, secure as much farmland as possible and plan around it."
All land belongs to the state — a lease system where anyone can freely apply to use it. I made absolutely sure they'd uphold this, to preemptively avoid anything like the landed gentry of Joseon times.
"Heh heh heh. Did you prepare what I asked for?"
"Yes, here it is."
Quack! Quack!
What the — what is that thing? A duck or something? Wait, more importantly, why is it still ALIVE?!
"Eek! Could you... hold it down for me?"
"Huh? I'll handle the preparation, Master."
I asked them to catch me a bird, and they brought back a live one. Well, no refrigerators, so I suppose that makes sense?
Today, we had all gathered in the kitchen to spread a new food to my friends.
You know what, you guys? Everything tastes delicious when you deep-fry it in oil.
Sizzle sizzle.
It does waste a bit of oil, but there's no helping that. The duck, dismantled in no time by the head chef's hands, was being coated in rice flour and lowered into the oil. Now we wait.
Wait, hold on. No thermometer? No timer? Is this actually going to work?
"By the way, what exactly is this?"
"Mm. It's called frying? You know stir-frying, right?"
"Of course. People make it all the time these days."
"This is stir-frying with a whole lot more oil. When you submerge the food completely in oil like this, everything — and I mean everything — turns out delicious."
Wait a second. Isn't this a one-way express lane to obesity? Did I make some kind of mistake here...
Well, they don't have oil to spare in those quantities, so it should be fine, right?
A plate of golden, unidentified fried bird was set down, steaming white clouds into the air and flaunting its crisp splendor.
"Alright, everyone sit down and let's share. Come here, come on."
The taste-testers were three: the head chef, myself, and Chief Secretary Harin.
Gulp.
I can hear someone swallowing from here — the nutty aroma must already have them bewitched.
Once people taste something delicious, they'll inevitably come back hunting for more ways to make it even tastier. Heh heh heh. My poor victims, ensnared by the demon of flavor.
Crackle.
Oh, it's cooked beautifully. The skin is cracking apart, crisp and golden.
"Go on, dip it in the salt and try it. Hurry!"
"Then, if you'll excuse me a moment."
"Thank you, Master! Cooking with your own hands!"
Save the gratitude until after you taste it, old man.
"!!!"
"Gah!!!"
Even Harin — the very picture of an expressionless face — had her eyes fly wide open. Yes! Success!
Ahh, this needs pepper. Pepper would be perfect right about now.
And their hands are trembling? Was it really that shocking?
"Hnk... Haneul-nim..."
"Yes~?"
"Forgive me, but... it's undercooked. The skin is delicious, but inside... mm..."
"Ah..."
I see... My mistake. No thermometer, and I was only judging by the skin — how could I have known? I'm not a chef, after all.
"Well, if you make it this way it's incredibly tasty, so work on perfecting it."
"Understood. That crispy skin must be the key, then."
Exactly. That's why some villain out there will end up only eating the skin.
"Right, that's the point. So it's best to marinate the meat inside with seasoning too, so the flavor soaks all the way through."
The head chef probably knows better than I do how to get flavor into meat.
"Yes. Now that I know the method, it's my area of expertise. Leave it to me."
Food culture matters, after all. Absolutely.
"I thought you were good at everything, Haneul-nim, but it seems cooking is not among your talents?"
"Gahk—"
A killing remark? One sentence from Harin just carved out my chest. Hoo... my heart stings.
The play culture of ancient humans really wasn't much to write home about. Mostly just staring blankly into space. The best things were gong hunting and the sling, which I'd taught them back in Haseo.
Ah, the sling. That's the problem. They've been playing with it as a sport!
"So. You're telling me people keep getting their skulls cracked open and dying?"
"Yes..."
"Why on earth are you hurling that thing at each other?"
"Just... for camaraderie with the neighboring villages. As a kind of game..."
Bonding, sure — but why bond over a game that kills people? Is there nothing else to play?
"Couldn't you just set up targets and shoot arrows at them instead?"
"That's too easy. No fun at all, they say."
Ah... so this is where the blood of the archery dynasty that would one day rule the world began.
"Then how about a game that's a little more intense, something where you compete in courage and valor?"
"Is there such a thing?"
"There is now. First, make a ball out of leather."
A few days later, I received a remarkable object: a soft, squishy ball wrapped in leather.
How on earth did they make this? I figured they'd stuffed it with cotton or something, but it's surprisingly springy.
"Wow? How did you make this?"
"Ah. We inflated a pig's bladder and pressed it firmly inside the leather casing."
Oh? So they didn't inflate it inside the leather — they made the balloon first and stuffed it in?
Wow... these people are clever. Genuinely...
Boing, boing.
Oh? What's this? Why am I so good at bouncing this ball? It just won't leave my foot. Weak muscles aside, everything else is working fine?
"Is this how you play with it? Bouncing it around? That seems a bit dull, doesn't it?"
"Try it first. This is just the warm-up."
Boing boing boing.
What? Why are you good at this too? Is this supposed to be easy?
"It's far too easy."
"Then let's build a proper arena first."
I planted a simple wooden net in the middle of the ground and drew a square shooting box on either side. Behold: a jokgu court.
"For now, we'll start simple. It's called jokgu — a game where you use only your feet and head to knock the ball over into the opponent's court."
"Simple enough."
Woori and I began a casual two-person match.
"Haneul-nim! Come here for a moment, please!"
"Huh?"
"Right now!"
What now? Harin is absolutely fuming. And Woori is grinning like an idiot about something. Is he hoping I get scolded, that brat?
Harin dragged me into the changing room, and I had no idea what was coming...
"..."
Silently, Harin wrapped something snugly around my chest. Oh. I get it now. No wonder things felt a little... loose and jiggly.
Ahaha...
After a wardrobe inspection, the match resumed. Woori's silly grin was gone.
"This game is boring."
"Oh yeah?"
Then I'll just have to make it exciting for you. Now I understand — his strength might be lacking, but his body control is absolutely superb.
THWACK!
"Gahk!"
I pulled off a spectacular bicycle kick, spinning through the air — and Woori's face was an absolute treat to behold. Mwahahaha.
CRASH!
Huh?
"HANEUL-NIM!!!!!!!!"
Oh no.
"WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING INDOORS?!!!!"
Ooh... I'm getting to see so many new sides of Harin today.
I got scolded within an inch of my life.
Since this was obviously going to become a popular sport, I had them build a proper stadium — and somehow, another magnificent structure rose up near the Temple before anyone knew what was happening...
This isn't extravagance, right? It's a sports facility?
"Wow? We'd have to run for two hours just to cross it — isn't this a bit too big?"
"It takes two hours before I even get winded. This is about right, isn't it?"
Just how far do these people's physical abilities go?
Look at those muscles — and I'm nearly sixty myself. I might outlive Cheol at this rate.
"You've seen jokgu already. Four or five per team, and you can kick the ball freely. Today's game — football — needs a lot more people."
"Understood. As you instructed, we've gathered twenty."
By the rules I have in mind, that's a little thin, but it should be fine, right?
"Alright, the rules are simple. The ball can't touch your arms, and if you get it into that round hoop over there, you score."
I planted poles at both ends of the field, each topped with a ring slightly larger than the ball itself.
I based this on that wizarding-world sport from a certain modern British fantasy novel. You know the one.
"Shall we give it a try?"
WHEEEET—
The two teams lined up and charged the ball at full sprint from their respective goals — and the intensity was no joke. A stampeding herd of cattle had nothing on this.
Wait, how are they planning to stop after running like that?
CRASH BANG THUD.
Ah... so they just... collide. No brakes at all. These kids...
"Someone's going to get hurt at this rate..."
"Come on, how could a human get hurt from this much?"
What? I'm pretty sure a bone or two just cracked?
Good grief... what do you people even do in your spare time? Not a single one of them is limping — they're all chasing the ball around like nothing happened.
"HAHAHA! Out of my way, everyone!"
"DIE!"
POW! WHAM!
No, no. Guys. This is a fight club now. It's kicks and punches flying everywhere.
And that grinning one over there is having the time of his life with blood streaming from his nose.
"Woori. Someone stop them — let's set rules before they all end up crippled."
"Do you think so? A dab of Holy Water will fix them right up."
Ah... wait, does it really? Just put some saliva on it and they're good?
It IS my saliva, but still — that's a bit undignified.
"Regardless, punching with your fists and kicking each other is banned. Someone could get seriously hurt."
"Of course, Haneul-nim. I'll go and tell them right away."
WHEEEEET.
Woori strolled leisurely onto the field, blowing his whistle.
The players scrambled over to him at once. Where did he find these kids? Their discipline is razor sharp.
He seemed to be explaining something to them, his voice rising higher and higher...
CRACK! THWACK! KABOOM!
Huh? Wha—? The players are getting knocked flat by a sixty-year-old man and rolling around on the ground! Wow... so THAT'S what discipline looks like.
His father never did that... wait, no, his GRANDFATHER did, didn't he?
Is something like this hereditary? Come to think of it, the next Grand Chancellor looks just like this one's grandson too...
"Hahaha. I've taught them well."
Taught them? You just went and blew off steam. You look incredibly refreshed.
"Uh... um..."
WHEEEEET.
The whistle sounded again, and the match resumed.
At least the kids looked like they were having fun, so that was what mattered. It was basically muggle brawling disguised as football at this point, but it would improve with time.
They'll refine the rules on their own as they go. Just as they always have.