Life Keeps Getting More Comfortable?
"This is what we call an ID card."
"Huh? Isn't it kind of big?"
"It has to be big, or there's no point in decorating it."
Ah. He thinks it's an ornament. That figures.
"It's fairly important, you know. What if you lose it?"
"As you instructed, we wrote down their physical characteristics, so it would be hard for anyone to misuse it."
"I suppose so."
Carving fingerprints or faces would have been too difficult, so we'd gone with written descriptions of physical features. It didn't look bad, actually.
But wait. What does my ID card say?
"Seriously? Why is my ID like this?"
"Well... there wasn't much else to write."
"And you think that proves anything?"
"Only Haneul-nim has ever been described with that phrase. It's not as if we could write something like 'no body hair,' could we?"
I bathed with him and scrubbed him down until he was fully grown, and this is what he turns into?
He's so old now I'd probably break a bone if I hit him... Ugh. Fine. I'll let it slide. Just this once.
"Keep that up and you'll get smacked."
"Honestly, I don't have many years left anyway. Dying at Haneul-nim's hand would be an honor."
Is beating you to death supposed to be doing you a favor?
"Behave yourself. I mean it."
"Yes, ma'am."
"Well, even if the ID itself doesn't help, at least I can get a sense of the population?"
"We estimate around 150,000 people."
That's incredibly few, isn't it? Or no — is it a lot? From what I remember, the entire world population back in the prehistoric era was only a few million to a few tens of millions...
"We need to grow the population as much as this land can feed. That's the ceiling."
"Understood."
Hm. Potatoes are honestly kind of broken, though. They grow way too fast — no risk of famine, and even if there were, replanting catches up in no time. Good grief.
As long as these kids just stay focused, even if technological progress slows a little, we'll have everything covered.
Today I made a rare appearance at the temple for worship. Whew — packed to the rafters again.
But what is with those people in the front row...
They're sparkling all over, something flashing on every inch of them.
"Temple Chief, what's with the glittering ones in the front row?"
"Those would be the wealthy folk from the surrounding area."
"Why do they go around like that?"
"I couldn't say, Haneul-nim."
I'll have to go ask them myself. Parading around like that does nothing but create an eyesore. They should show off their wealth some other way.
"Ohhh! Haneul-nim approaches!"
"What an honor for our family!"
Well, they seem like decent enough souls, at least.
"Hello there. I came to ask you all something. You're wealthy, aren't you?"
"Yes. Not abundantly, but..."
Rich folks after all. Hm, what angle should I take for this little moral education...
"Let me tell you an interesting story. It's about reincarnation."
And so, to their utterly fascinated faces, I explained the Buddhist hells and the cycle of rebirth.
You should have seen those pale faces.
"That's why you have to be good to your neighbors. Honestly, all that money you're holding? You can't take a single coin with you when you die."
"Then... should we at least pass it down to our children?"
Planning on generational wealth, are we?
"Do you think your kids will struggle to feed themselves? What you need is to build up virtue. Do enough good deeds, and you'll be born handsome and beautiful in your next life."
Not that you'd remember any of it. Well, I'm the exception here. I was told it was punishment, after all.
Born with a silver spoon in my mouth from day one.
"I'm not forcing you to do anything. Just think it over."
"Thank you for your words. *Sob*..."
Why are you crying now? Still, I do hope they live without being too greedy. What's the point of piling up money like a mountain? You die, and it's done.
Share it, help others — think how nice it would be to hear kind words about you for the rest of your life?
"Haneul-nim, do the hells truly exist?"
"Probably."
Given that I myself got reincarnated, there's probably something similar out there.
"We will record today's teachings carefully and use them for moral instruction."
"But don't force anyone. Virtue is something each person has to pile up on their own."
"I see. Understood."
What worries me is that someday they'll start going on about bourgeoisie this and that, stringing up the rich and such.
"I don't think ambition is a bad thing, mind you. What I'm saying is that when the time comes, you should empty your hands."
Ambition drives progress. That's how I get to play games, and whoa — ride airplanes! Whoa!
Wait. Is that me being greedy? Am I about to get suddenly summoned somewhere?
Maybe it's because I ordered everyone to make sure no one ever went hungry, but the population had swelled like a snowball.
We're now at the point where the great-grandson of my Woori's great-grandson serves as Chancellor.
The capital was simply too crowded, so we've been sending people off to other cities and building new ones.
"Is it just because we've got the good stuff smeared all over this place that everyone wants to live here?"
"Because you're here, Haneul-nim."
"What if I went to go live somewhere else for a while?"
"There would be an even greater catastrophe."
Does the whole city fall into chaos or something? People in other cities might shrug and carry on, but these ones here... yeah, I can actually believe it.
"How are the people we sent north doing?"
"They miss having you around, but by all accounts they're doing well."
This area needed to be reserved for farmland, so we sent a whole wave of people up to the northern grasslands for herding. We picked out the slightly freer spirits among them, and it seems they're adapting nicely.
"By the way, I hear the women are complaining?"
"Yes. They enjoy soccer, but they hate that it gives them muscles."
Ah, right — these kids have full bellies. Meanwhile I'm over here desperate for muscles.
"Give those muscles to me, then."
"Everyone's trying desperately to become like you, Haneul-nim."
Hasn't making me the standard of beauty taken this era a bit too far ahead of itself?
And besides, I've got my own struggles here, you know.
"So the women want a different sport to play, that's what you're telling me?"
"Yes."
Table tennis is hard because the ball's difficult to make, and billiards has the same ball problem. Hm. What about tennis?
Tennis players were secretly jacked, if I remember right...
Should be fine, right?
"Hnngh!"
THWACK!
Wow... where do these girls get this kind of power? Their bodies look so delicate — it's fascinating. Is it because they're tall?
One thing is certain: I seem to be on the short side. Everyone's heads are half a body above mine... Sad.
POW!
Ah. The ball burst. These kids are just too strong.
"They burst easily, do they?"
"Yes. The ball needs to bounce off the ground once too, so it's a difficult balance."
"I think it's more that the kids are too strong?"
"..."
You know it too, don't you?
"At least they say it's fun?"
"Yes, everyone loves it."
"That's a relief."
Though doesn't this sport involve a ton of running too? Wouldn't their legs bulk up? Well, if they like it, I'll leave it be for now.
"And those billiard balls I mentioned — the ones from elephants?"
"Not a single person here has ever heard of an animal called an elephant."
"Ask beyond the mountains, then. Those traders have wandered everywhere."
I could have sworn there were elephants in India and southern China, even in the jungles. But then again, did the balls really have to be ivory?
"Hm. Then let's just try something else roughly similar."
What should I call gateball... How about "ball clubbing"?
"Let's play ball clubbing. Make several balls out of wood tough enough not to split no matter how hard you whack them."
The old grandpas and grandmas used to play it a lot. It must be fun, right?
CRACK!
"Nice!"
Wait, isn't this basically just golf? How far can these balls even fly?
"What is this?"
"What you described was too short a range, so we made this one to hit farther."
Wasn't this supposed to be a battle of precision and fine control? It's turned into a sport decided by brute strength?
"Ahaha..."
"Is something wrong?"
"No, you're doing great."
I remember saying that if you're strong, life is easier — but these kids have a real tendency to try solving everything with muscle.
And yet the research keeps producing results on its own track somehow. Fascinating...
"Also, the peninsula to the east appears to have founded a nation of their own."
Apparently they've set up a country called "Han" roughly south of the Han River. Life there isn't exactly easy, but at least no one will be harassing them from up north.
"A bit of a shame. Still, stay on good terms with them."
Those guys across the sea will make life plenty difficult for them regardless. They can always be annexed later, anyway.
"We could simply invade, you know?"
"A friend won through force can never be a true friend. Wait — the time will come."
"Understood."
"Though the fact that they visit so sparingly suggests they manage themselves just fine, doesn't it?"
Sometimes they only come by once or twice a year, you know. Suspicious.
"As people multiply, everything gets easier. Haha."
"Hm. True enough."
They said 1.1 million now, good grief. And the Yellow River civilization of China looks set to collapse at this rate.
We've gotten quite good at launching ships now — sailing over to snatch people up. The funny part is they only bring back men.
Supposedly the women are too ugly to even look at.
"Pffahaha."
"What's so funny, Haneul-nim?"
I can't exactly say it out loud — I'm just laughing at what we'll be recorded as in the history books of China someday.
Something like the "Gei Kingdom" or "Land of Gays," maybe?
Well, at least there are plenty of women back home, so they'll have plenty of children. Small mercies.
"Oh, and one more thing. Raiders keep crossing over from beyond the western mountains. We should mount a punitive expedition soon."
Hm, so it's finally here. The Mongols, is it?!
"Have we suffered much damage?"
"No? They came charging at us on their scrawny little horses, so the stables grabbed the lot of them and put them to work."
Wait — what? Aren't those guys supposed to be the original horse-lords? And you people are still better?
"Don't they ride really well, those raiders?"
"Perhaps, but compared to the stable folk... not particularly."
Ah, that's why they're talking about going to sort them out...
"Still, that land is enormous. With so few people, they'll be hard to even find."
"Hm. What should we do, then?"
Think for a second, would you? Why the long face already?
"They raid because they don't have enough food. Tell them if they bring over livestock, we'll trade. They'd probably be delighted if we handed over farming tools too."
From what I know, surviving on the northern steppe is no picnic. Wherever you go, feeding yourself is the eternal problem.
"Then first we'll need to teach our slaves the language."
Ah, translators. Our proud Daehan people absolutely refuse to learn foreign languages. They do keep records, though...
If someone can't communicate, they just grab them, teach them Hangul, and then use the resulting slave as an interpreter.
Remarkable people, truly.
I'm... honestly a little scared, you guys. What exactly do you think you'll be written as in the history books someday?
And then, several months later.
"Haneul-nim. We've concluded negotiations with the tribes of the west. They seem desperately short on food. In exchange for provisions and farming tools, they've agreed to send us horses, sheep, and slaves."
Oh. That went well. Just as I expected. Hm? Wait. Hold on — there's something off in the middle of that sentence?
"S-Slaves?"
"Yes. Their range of movement is astonishing. We told them to capture as many as possible — the payment is just surplus potatoes, after all."
"Wouldn't farming potatoes be easier for them, though?"
Potatoes grow just fine almost anywhere, don't they?
"Oh? You didn't know?"
"Know what?"
"Potatoes only grow here, in Sinsi."
What is that even supposed to mean? Since when do plants work like that? Those winter-growing little things are picky about their soil?
Why? What's the difference between that dirt and this dirt?
"We assume it's because this is the land guarded by the World Tree... but you truly didn't know?"
"So it's only this area, then?"
""This area" would be nearly the entire plain."
Holy moly... what on earth is going on here? No wonder the surrounding tribes kept falling head over heels for potatoes.
They planted them elsewhere and nothing grew, huh...
"Th-That's a relief..."
"You really had no idea?"
"Uh..."
Another one of the potato's secrets, revealed. Is it really because of the Tree? It is strange how a tree that massive stands perfectly still even in the wind...
Practically a World Tree? I mean, the farming around here is amazing too — could it actually be the real World Tree?
The trees around here certainly grow way beyond merely "thriving" — they shoot up like weeds...
And the blacksmith city of Moda consumes wood by the mountain-load these days. If we never hear a single complaint about timber shortages, then case closed.
Come to think of it, I'm not exactly carrying just one or two cheat codes, am I?