No.1 Instructor Grid's Sex Ed Class (2)
“Leperi, did you hear? They're doing sex ed for the freshmen today!”
My friend from the swordsmanship department's second year brought some unexpected news.
“Huh? We didn't have that back in our day, right?”
“Exactly! I heard they stopped it five years ago after some shady instructor caused a scandal, but now it's back!”
Freshman sex ed. Something the academy had done for new students ever since it was founded.
The academy was a place where young students from all sorts of countries, races, and classes gathered, so naturally, there were plenty of hookups.
Due to differences in culture and education, the board chairman had mandated it every year to prevent disruptions to the academic schedule.
But five years ago, a puppet master hired as a special instructor tried to demonstrate positions using puppets, and it got shut down.
“Hey, even non-freshmen can go watch. Let's check it out, Leperi!”
“Nobles get that kind of education before coming to school anyway, so it probably doesn't matter for them, right?”
My friend Anya's invitation didn't really appeal to me. I already knew everything there was to know.
And if I ever got into something like that myself, the practice partner would probably be...
“But the special instructor's name is new to me. Grid—do you know him by any chance, Leperi?”
“What? Who did you say?”
“Grid. That's all it says—no other info.”
Why!? Why is it Grid!?
My heart felt like it was about to burst, but I answered as casually as I could.
“Let's go watch. When is it?”
“Huh?”
“I said let's go!”
My face was burning up. Why was Grid teaching a class like that...?
“Yeah! It's during lunch period today! They said it'll count as attendance for afternoon classes... Leperi? You okay? Your face is all red.”
“I'm fine. I must've overheated from morning training. Let's grab lunch, Anya.”
“O-okay? Leperi! Wait up!”
I quickened my pace so she wouldn't see my flushed face.
Normally, my favorite afternoon class was sparring with Iris, but that wasn't important right now.
Sex ed... from Grid...
All I could do now was wait trembling for 2 p.m. to arrive.
1:40 p.m. The academy.
I wasn't even a student, but here I was visiting the academy two days in a row.
At this rate, I'd be coming regularly enough to slap an "academy" tag on my novel without it feeling out of place.
Unlike the quiet vibe last night, the academy was packed with hot guys and cute girls today.
Ugh, it made me uncomfortable. As someone who'd wasted my school days without that youthful glow, it just stirred up envy—not a sight I wanted to linger on.
“The problem is I didn't prepare anything for Silbi.”
I'd agonized until dawn over what to do about her, but came up empty. All I could do was pray she had zero interest and skipped it.
The closer I got to the auditorium, the more students I saw.
The weird part? There were just as many second- and third-years as freshmen.
“Is someone else lecturing today besides me?”
No way this crowd was just for a freshman class.
Overthinking it, I thought as I headed to the auditorium's waiting room.
And right as I arrived, I got some shocking news.
“So the class isn't just for freshmen—second- and third-years can join if they want?”
“That's how it shook out. Guess the five-year hiatus has upperclassmen curious too.”
Waiting to greet me was the chairman himself, looking just like he did in the novel—a plump, friendly uncle type. Like the guy selling pressure-cooker fried chicken.
“I can't just squash the students' thirst for knowledge on a whim, right? Bear with me.”
You smug bastard. Stealing my halo with your self-centered crap, and now throwing in variables like this...
My irritation must've shown on my face, because the chairman snorted and plunked a heavy pouch on the desk.
“Advance payment. Not part of the original 150 gold. You'll get the rest after a successful lecture.”
“Whether it's one listener or ten thousand, my material doesn't change. Why bother with this?”
I snatched it quick and peeked inside—easily over 100 gold, even if I couldn't count it exactly.
Fine, extra heads were no big deal at this rate. Do whatever you want!
“Then give a great lecture. Looking forward to good news.”
With that, the chairman left the waiting room.
“Hmm. Time to prep.”
I pulled out the empty bag I'd brought and stuffed it with my purchases.
“Should've asked for a materials fee.”
Most of today's items were from level 2, so nothing too pricey, but it still felt like pure profit drain.
“Think of it as advertising costs—cheap at the price?”
A lecture I'd hoped for a thousand attendees had drawn over three thousand. Tripling my exposure to customers.
Prep done, I stepped out of the waiting room.
“Time to teach 21st-century sex ed. You condomless consequences.”
The buzz filled the air as I climbed onto the podium.
“Ah, testing. Ahem, ahem. Mic check, mic check. Can everyone hear me okay?”
The magic circle under the podium amplified my voice via amplification magic, so I tweaked the volume a few times while gauging the students.
The auditorium fell silent fast as the lecture seemed about to start.
Probably thanks to the professors sprinkled in the back and here and there.
“Hello. I'm Grid, owner of 'Emporium of the East', serving as special instructor today at the chairman's request.”
“Emporium? Why's a shopkeep doing sex ed?”
“Better than a puppet master or necromancer, right?”
“Does that even make sense?”
A mix of reactions erupted after my intro.
Made sense—they weren't used to sex ed as an official subject.
“If anyone still doubts my credentials after the lecture, feel free to come see me afterward.”
Lie. I'd grab the balance from the chairman and bolt, but hey, bounce a check first.
“Questions welcome anytime—just raise your hand, and I'll answer on the spot.”
Laid down some free attendance bait too.
And so began my first—and last—sex ed gig as an instructor.
“Everyone agrees sex is a tough topic to discuss lightly in front of crowds.”
Well, in some Confucian country, adults could still get finger-wagged at for banging. Scary stuff.
“So I've prepared a simple exercise to help you all take it less seriously.”
Sweeping the auditorium, I saw plenty of kids avoiding my eyes or pretending not to notice.
I got it—that fear of being singled out. Especially on this topic.
“Professors in attendance, please raise your hands.”
About forty hands went up at my words.
Probably the ones whose classes got canceled since everyone bailed for this.
Spirit arts, alchemy, spearmanship, archery, destruction magic, divine power... Huh?
Scanning for familiar novel faces, one super familiar one jumped out.
Why the hell did swordsmanship class get canceled too?
She wasn't just any sword teacher. She was the sword saint, swordsmanship department head, world's strongest, and yesterday's innkeeper who slayed a high dragon with a massive greatsword—Iris.
At this rate, Leperi'll show up too.
After noting the raised hands, I pressed on.
“From now on, professors, repeat the word I say—nice and loud. Easy, right?”
Nods all around. Good. Teachers set examples.
“Do it right away!”
I took a deep breath and bellowed the word I'd prepped.
“Sex.”
My low voice echoed through the hall.
The pre-arranged professor buy-in? Forgotten. Dead silence below the podium.
“D-did that guy just say s-sex... that word?”
“Over three thousand people here, and he drops that!”
“Shameless... so shameless!”
Whispers started rippling out.
Me, embarrassed? Hell yeah. But I couldn't show it.
-Whew.
I sighed, put on a serious face.
“This is a crucial step. Professors.”
This was straight from my college prof's playbook. Back then, the reaction was just as bad—or worse.
“No one here is used to talking about sex publicly.”
Obviously. Medieval romance-fantasy world or not.
“But proper sex ed leads to happier times and better family planning—everyone agrees on that.”
I held up three fingers.
“One more time. I trust you'll nail it.”
Folding them one by one.
“Three, two, one—now!”
“Sex!... Sex! Sex!”
Still hesitant, timings off, but the profs shouted it out.
“Oh my god, Professor Iris just said 'sex'?”
“The... divine power prof! Spouting vulgarity!”
“No way! Our prof lives on dew alone! She wouldn't—aaargh!”
Students reacted wildly to their profs' plight.
Yup—sacrificing the higher-ups always works better than starting with the kids.
Your turn next.
“Thanks to the professors leading by example, the mood's much lighter. My sincere gratitude.”
I scanned the hall, turning my head side to side.
“With masters showing the way, I'm sure the students can follow suit.”
“What? Our turn now?”
“No way, even if... how do we shout that out loud...?”
Three fingers up again.
“The loudest shouter wins a humble prize: a tasting voucher for Owl's Nest Inn's limited bulgogi menu.”
At "bulgogi," eyes lit up instantly. Mood shifted on a dime. Countdown.
“Three, two, one.”
“Se————————————x!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
A clear, resounding chorus filled the auditorium.
Perfect. Sex ed starts now.