The Meetup Location Turns Out to Be a Battlefield
I was sure the gallery was full of gruff old dudes or edgy middle-school boys with chuuni syndrome. But when the door opened… every single person who walked in was a woman. And not just any women—bizarre, dangerous ones. I’m sweating so much my keyboard is literally slipping out of my hands.
A bright ding! rang out as the door to the Demon King’s Table swung open. The inside of the restaurant was already a battlefield.
On my right stood Saintess Elin, cursed by “First Love’s Curse” and refusing to let go of my hand. On the left, perched on the counter, was Lucy—the Demon King in cat form—fur bristling with jealousy and clearly preparing to hiss. And standing right in front of me was the full offline meetup crew from the gallery.
“Nice to see you, Newbie! We’re here!”
A husky voice called out as the person in the lead threw back her robe. I had naturally expected a bearded grandfather or a pot-bellied uncle.
“Huh…?”
Instead, the face that appeared was an old woman with deep wrinkles around her eyes and a powerful, tough expression. A massive oak staff was strapped to her back, and her arm muscles looked like they belonged to a retired bodybuilder in his prime.
“S-StaffCarvingGranny… bro?”
“Bro? Call me big sis… no, call me Granny!”
She let out a booming laugh and slapped me hard on the back. I nearly yelped. It felt like my HP had dropped by ten percent.
“Aigoo, I never imagined our GeniusNewbie would be this pale and adorable. You act so cocky when you’re gallery-posting, but in real life you’re just a baby!”
She pinched my cheeks and shook them. Her grip was no joke; it felt like my bones might shatter.
“Out of the way, Granny. You’re suffocating our newbie.”
From behind her, a girl in a pitch-black dress with an eyepatch over one eye stepped forward. Twin tails, full goth lolita look. Anyone would instantly recognize her as a chuuni.
“Heh heh heh… We finally meet. My soulmate, GeniusNewbie.”
She stroked her eyepatch with a meaningful gaze.
“I can feel our darkness resonating. As expected, you were destined to become my ‘partner.’”
“Partner? Isn’t that wording a little strange?”
“Shut up. It’s how I feel.”
Finally, the most overwhelming presence entered. A beautiful, intellectual woman in a red archmage robe and gold-rimmed glasses. She looked to be in her mid-thirties, yet her eyes held the profound depth of someone who had lived for centuries. She was the gallery’s head manager—the 7th Circle Archmage.
“Nice to meet you, Daon.”
She gracefully extended her hand.
“Even better in person. Your talent isn’t just overflowing—it’s practically dripping.”
Her eyes scanned me from head to toe. It was the look of someone appraising a rare magical artifact on display. No… it was closer to the gaze of a predator staring at delicious prey.
“I want to drag you back to my Magic Tower and spend all day researching your mana circuits.”
A chill ran down my spine. These ladies were far more obsessive than they ever seemed in the gallery.
At that moment, Elin—who was still clutching my hand—cut in with a tearful expression.
“Daon… who are these aunties?”
The air inside the restaurant instantly froze.
“Aunties?”
The 7th Circle Archmage gave Elin a cold smile.
“My, my, Newbie. Who is this cheeky little lady? Why is she daring to hold our Newbie’s hand?”
“Ah, let me introduce her. This is Saintess Elin, and… her condition is a bit off right now because of the food—”
“Saintess?” BlackFlameDragon scoffed. “Hmph. You think just because you can use a little holy power you can steal someone else’s man? Not a chance. Newbie is a black mage. A child of darkness. Therefore, he’s mine.”
“What are you talking about! Daon is my first love!”
Thanks to the curse, Elin refused to back down and shouted right back. She hugged my arm even tighter. The soft sensation pressed against me, but this was hardly the time to enjoy it.
“Hoo…” Granny StaffCarver rolled up her sleeves. “These young brats are throwing a double tantrum. Our Newbie is like the grandson I raised myself by feeding him! Who do these nobodies think they are, trying to snatch him?”
The killing intent of all three women zeroed in on Elin. Fueled by the stew’s alcohol effect, Elin fearlessly stood her ground.
And the red cat on the counter who had been watching the entire spectacle? Lucy’s patience had finally reached its limit.
Demon King 'Lucy''s jealousy has reached critical levels!
She will no longer hold back.
Boom—!!!
A massive explosion rang out as red smoke engulfed the restaurant. The cat form vanished, and Lucy revealed her true appearance—the Demon King in a flowing red dress. She stood atop the counter, looking down at everyone with arrogant, rage-filled eyes.
“What exactly do you think you’re all doing in my restaurant?”
The demonic energy pouring out of Lucy was no joke. The glassware throughout the shop began cracking. The skeleton staff had already flattened themselves against the floor, bones rattling.
“The Demon King?!” The 7th Circle Archmage’s eyes widened. “So the rumors were true?”
“Heh heh heh… That overwhelming darkness! It’s beautiful!” BlackFlameDragon was genuinely impressed.
Lucy gracefully descended to the floor. Click. Click. The sound of her heels made my heart pound. She walked over to me, forcibly pried Elin’s hand off my arm.
“Ouch!”
“Don’t touch what’s mine, you stinking Saintess.”
Lucy wrapped her arm around my waist and yanked me firmly to her side.
“And you lot.” Her crimson eyes pierced the gallery members. “If you’re customers, you should be eating and leaving, not flirting with someone else’s butler. Do you have a death wish?”
A murderous standoff. The Demon King versus the veteran mages versus the drunk Saintess. And caught right in the middle—me, Kim Daon.
This has to be a dream. Please tell me it’s a dream.
But it was reality.
The 7th Circle Archmage, far from being intimidated by Lucy’s aura, adjusted her glasses with clear interest.
“Hmm. A black mage the Demon King is obsessed with. Our Newbie was more of a ‘treasure’ than I thought.”
She pulled out her staff.
“The rarer the magical tool, the stronger the desire to own it. Just because the Demon King has her eyes on him doesn’t mean I’ll give up.”
“That’s right! He’s our gallery’s treasure!” BlackFlameDragon summoned dark flames.
“Granny’s going to feed him! This scrawny boy needs some meat on his bones first!” Granny StaffCarver prepared to use physical force.
At this rate, the restaurant would become a ruin in under a minute.
I shouted desperately.
“Stop!!! Everyone, stop right now!!!”
My yell drew all four women’s gazes to me.
“This is a restaurant! A place for eating! If you want to fight, take it outside!”
I looked at Lucy.
“Lady Lucy! If you destroy the shop, there won’t be any cake! Are you going to pay for the remodeling?”
“……Tsk.”
At the word “cake,” Lucy flinched and withdrew her demonic energy.
She then turned to the gallery ladies.
“And you ladies! You came for an offline meetup, didn’t you? You came to eat my cooking, right? So please, just eat first!”
“Food?” Granny StaffCarver’s eyes sparkled. “That’s right. Food is what matters. I’ve been dying to try the meal our Newbie made.”
“Hmph. Newbie’s cooking… I’ll eat it even if it’s poisoned.”
Thankfully, everyone’s “appetite” overpowered their “battle lust.”
I mobilized every Ogre Mage and skeleton to push tables together, creating one massive long table in the center of the restaurant.
At the head seat sat the Demon King Lucy with her arms crossed. Beside her, Elin sat with dazed eyes, mumbling “Daon…” over and over. Across from them were the three veteran gallery members. And I was the one running around between them like a madman.
“Kastab! Prepare the full course! The most expensive, largest portions you’ve got! We need to keep their mouths full!”
“Got it! You crazy bastard! Try managing your guests better!”
Kastab’s scream-like shout echoed from the kitchen.
A short while later, the meal began. The menu featured Demon Realm whole-pig barbecue, Abyss seafood stew, and a cursed… no, a delicious salad.
“Munch munch… Hey, this is good.”
Granny StaffCarver tore into a barbecue leg and let out a sigh of admiration. “Newbie, you’ve got skill. This tastes exactly like the orc roast I used to eat when I was young.”
“That wasn’t orc. It was wild boar.”
“Heh heh heh… This black sauce… I can taste the flavor of darkness.”
BlackFlameDragon was reciting chuuni lines while eating squid-ink pasta, but the sauce smeared all over her mouth made it clear she was enjoying it.
The 7th Circle Archmage elegantly sipped her wine—or rather, grape juice infused with magic—and called out to me.
“Daon.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“Your cooking is excellent, but what’s even more impressive is your mana control. You’ve delicately infused every single dish with magic power.”
She gently stroked the back of my hand. Her eyes still clearly hadn’t given up on dragging me back to the Magic Tower.
“How about it? Why not become my disciple? If you come to the Magic Tower, I can give you a private laboratory and… your own bedroom.”
Clang!
At that moment, Lucy threw her fork onto her plate.
“Don’t talk nonsense while people are eating. He’s my exclusive property.”
The Demon King’s eyes were filled to the brim with jealousy.