The Magician Gallery Offline Meetup

"A curse?" Kastab frowned deeply. "I absolutely despise tampering with food. Flavor should always be honest."

"Chef, this isn't tampering—it's 'magical seasoning.' If it works, our restaurant's sales will jump tenfold."

I stepped up to the sauce pot I'd prepared in advance. It was an ordinary sauce. Following what I'd learned from the gallery, I focused my mana into it.

Shwooooooo! A dark purple aura flowed from my fingertips and melted into the sauce. The brown sauce momentarily took on a strange violet hue before returning to its original color.

"Done."

"The smell... is exactly the same?" Baron sniffed suspiciously. "Somebody taste-test this."

All eyes turned to the ogre mage washing dishes in the corner. Our restaurant's official guinea pig.

"Gruuung? (Me again?)" The ogre approached with a pitiful expression.

I scooped up a spoonful of sauce and fed it to the ogre.

"Here, try it. You won't die. Probably...?"

The ogre squeezed his eyes shut and swallowed the sauce.

One second. Two seconds. Three seconds.

Silence fell.

Suddenly the ogre's eyes snapped open. And then...

"GRUUUOOOOOAAAAAAR-!!!!"

He roared. It wasn't a scream of pain. Thick tears streamed down from both his eyes.

"K-Krrng! Krrruuung! (Mother! I can see my mother back home!)"

"Jackpot." I clenched my fist. This wasn't just about delicious food. This was cooking that touched the soul.

Even Kastab ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠stared at the ogre in a daze.

"You're moving people... with food? Using mere magic?"

"This is what they call 'soul food.'"

Just then, a clear bell rang from the hall.

Ding-a-ling.

"Customers! Everyone to your stations!"

As lunchtime arrived, the hall began to fill with people who'd heard the rumors. Thanks to the hero party's word-of-mouth, quite a few high-level adventurers showed up.

"Is this the restaurant the heroes raved about?"

"The vibe is killer. It really feels like the Demon King's castle."

The customers were initially horrified to see skeleton maids serving tables, but they soon adapted to the unique atmosphere. They simply assumed it was the restaurant's concept and theme.

In fact, when Marie served with her eerie "Enjoy your meal, kiihihihi" laugh, some customers found it entertaining and even left bigger tips.

I stood at the counter counting money while keeping an eye on the hall. This was my happiest time.

Lucy sat on her personal cushion beside me in her small red cat form, tapping the floor with her tail.

Lucy gestured with her eyes toward table three.

Four rough-looking mercenaries were seated there. At a glance, they were clearly low-quality C-rank mercenaries. Even though their food had arrived, they weren't eating. Instead, they were harassing Marie, grabbing her arm.

"Hey, missy. Your skin's real smooth. Must be pretty popular, huh?"

"C'mere and pour us some drinks. I'll give you a tip. A tip."

Marie's chin trembled in distress.

I frowned. Here come the problem customers.

Just as I was about to step in—

Bang!

Someone came storming out of the kitchen. It was an employee wearing a blood-stained leather apron and holding a massive butcher's cleaver in one hand. Baron.

‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠

Thud. Thud.

Baron approached the mercenaries' table. Her sharp gaze looked down at them.

"Customers."

Baron's voice was low and rough, like a man's.

"Is the meat too tough? Or should I slice it up for you?"

Clang. She stabbed her cleaver into the table. The blade pierced straight through and embedded itself.

"Or... should I slice up something else...?"

The mercenaries' faces turned deathly pale. She wasn't just any employee. The killing intent radiating from her was stronger than most veteran warriors. After all, even in life Baron had been a woman with quite the temper.

"N-No! The m-meat is super tender!"

"Y-Yeah! We'll enjoy it very much!"

The mercenaries frantically shoved steak into their mouths.

Baron muttered, "Should've done that from the start," pulled out her cleaver, and coolly returned to the kitchen.

Lucy watched and swished her tail.

"Baron noona is pretty cool, right?"

The situation seemed to settle and peace returned. But the real crisis was still waiting.

"Oh my! There's a real cat here?"

That familiar voice again. It was the silver-haired saintess, Elin. It looked like she hadn't come with the full hero party today—just her alone.

"Welcome, Lady Elin."

"Mister Daon! I'm back again! I came to see the cat!"

Elin beamed as she ran up to the counter. Lucy flattened her ears back with an expression that clearly said, 'That bitch again?'

"Did you come by yourself today?"

"Yes! My sisters went off for training, so I snuck out."

Elin reached out toward Lucy but hesitated, remembering what happened last time.

"Um... can I pet her today? I brought some Churu too."

Elin pulled out premium salmon-flavored cat treats from her pocket. Lucy's nose twitched.

The Demon King's pride, or the temptation of salmon?

'Yeah.'

'What about your pride?'

Lucy had surrendered. As expected, there was no resisting good food.

I smiled at Elin and said, "It looks like this little one has taken a liking to you, Lady Elin. Please pet her gently."

"Kyaa! ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠Really?"

Elin began scratching Lucy's chin with a blissful expression. The Demon King cradled in the saintess's lap. What an ironic and dangerous scene.

Then Elin said something strange.

"By the way, Mister Daon."

"Yes?"

"There's a weird rumor going around the village."

"A rumor?"

Elin lowered her voice.

"Lately, bodies have been disappearing from the graveyard. And they're only taking the corpses of very famous artisans."

Shit. I immediately put on my best poker face.

"Oh dear, how terrible. Could it be the work of a necromancer?"

"Probably? The guards are investigating. If you see anyone suspicious, please report them right away."

"Ahaha... Yes, of course."

Cold sweat ran down my back. The employees in the kitchen were exactly those 'missing corpses.' If this got out, it wouldn't just be a business suspension—it'd be straight to the stake.

At that moment, Lucy sent me a telepathic message while enjoying Elin's touch.

'Please stop saying such scary things!'

To change the subject, I handed Elin a menu.

"They say even the most beautiful mountain looks better after a meal. Why don't you eat first? We have a new menu item today."

"A new item? Wow, I'm excited!"

I placed the order in the kitchen.

"Kastab! One Cream Stew of Memories! I'll add the sauce myself!"

I cast Cursed Touch on the stew. What effect would it have this time?

A little later, Elin took a bite of the stew. Her silver eyes went blank.

"Huh...?"

Her cheeks flushed pink.

"This taste... it's like..."

She began squirming in her seat.

"The sweet candy... ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠that the big brother at the temple... used to secretly give me... when I was little...?"

"......"

This was bad. The saintess's expression had become far too seductive. The surrounding customers began murmuring and staring.

"Why is that woman acting like that?"

"Her eyes are totally glazed over. Did the food get to her?"

"Did she just die from eating?"

I quickly handed Elin some water.

"Lady Elin! Drink some water! Snap out of it!"

"Hehe... Mister Daon... why do you look so handsome today...?"

Elin suddenly grabbed my hand. Holy power and mana collided, sending a tingling static shock through us.

Lucy shot up from the counter. Her red fur stood on end. Forget the salmon treats—this time she was genuinely pissed.

Lucy's voice rang out chillingly.

The saintess's drunken—no, food-drunk confession. The jealousy-exploding Demon King cat. And the grave-robbed corpses hidden in the kitchen.

Could I actually make it to closing time safely today?

Right then, the dungeon entrance opened once more as a new group burst in.

A group of mages wearing flashy robes. They all had badges on their chests that read "Magician Gallery Offline Meetup."

"Is this the restaurant run by GeniusNewbie?"

"Whoa, it's actually a dungeon?"

"Where's the Demon King? We came to see her in person!"

7th Circle Archmage, Black Flame Dragon, Flame Mage. The gallery's veteran members had arrived for their offline meetup.

The timing was straight from hell.

I looked up at the sky and lamented.

"Oh god... I mean, oh Demon King. Please save me."

I waited for the comments to roll in. Of course, the chance that any replies would actually help fix this insane situation was slim.

But what was truly unexpected was... even though I'd written "veteran bros" in the post, every single one of them was actually a woman. There wasn't a single man among those high-level accounts.