No Need to Tip with a Curse
I instinctively took a step back. I glanced at the red cat sleeping in the reserved seat at the corner of the counter—Lucy. She lay on her back, belly exposed, lost to the world. Thank goodness. If she had been awake, the clash between two monsters might have blown this entire space apart.
Every step the guest took seemed to subtly warp the air, making the shadows on the floor ripple like living things. The skeleton maids serving tables rattled their bones and hastily cleared a path. Even the undead, who knew no fear, instinctively avoided her.
“U-um… miss?”
When I cautiously approached, she slowly lifted her head. Her unfocused, hollow eyes pierced straight through me.
“Is this… the Demon King’s Table?”
Her voice was quiet, yet it echoed vividly in my ear as if she were whispering right beside me.
“Yes, that’s correct. Please sit wherever you like.”
She chose the most secluded, darkest corner table and sat down. The chair let out a scream-like creak.
The entity’s ‘Misfortune Aura’ is too powerful.
The dungeon’s durability is temporarily decreasing.
A walking disaster had just entered my restaurant. I swallowed hard and carried the menu over to her.
“May I take your order?”
“Something that tastes like… darkness… and despair.”
“Pardon?”
“Just kidding.”
She let out a small chuckle. It sent chills down my spine.
“Give me the recommended dish. However…” She tightened her grip on the rabbit doll’s neck as she added, “If it doesn’t taste good… I’ll curse this shop so every customer trips over the threshold for the rest of its life.”
“I’ll serve you the absolute best we have!”
I sprinted into the kitchen.
“Kastab! Emergency! A VIP—no, a VVIP just arrived!”
“Why the sudden panic? Did the hero show up again?” Kastab turned from the broth he was stirring.
“Worse than the hero! She said if the food’s bad she’ll curse the entire place! We could both end up unable to pass on!”
“A curse? Hmph. You think a curse would work on someone who’s already dead?”
Kastab snorted, but when he peeked out toward the dining hall his jawbone clicked shut.
“…Don’t hold back on the ingredients. Bring out the highest-grade truffles and wagyu.”
In the end, even the ghost chef was terrified.
The dish we prepared was squid ink risotto drizzled with truffle oil. A strategic black-colored menu chosen to match her dark image.
“Sorry for the wait.”
My hands trembled as I set the plate down. Edible gold dust glittered across the black risotto.
Before picking up her fork, she stared intently at the food.
“So dark… just like my future.”
“Ahaha… it’s the squid ink. The flavor is actually quite savory.”
She scooped a bite and put it in her mouth. Gulp.
I, Kastab peeking through the kitchen doorway, and every skeleton employee held our breath.
Chew… chew…
A tiny shift appeared on her expressionless face.
“……”
“Does it… suit your taste?”
“……Mm. Not bad.”
She took another bite. This time a little faster.
“No, it’s quite good. It has the taste of death.”
“Excuse me?”
“The chef… isn’t a living person, is he? I can taste the soul mixed in. It’s clean, not fishy at all.”
She was right. She wasn’t simply tasting the food—she saw through to the chef’s very essence. This was a gourmet’s review on a completely different level from Lucy’s simple “It’s delicious.” It was like staring into the abyss.
She cleaned her plate completely. She even used the complimentary bread to wipe up every last trace of sauce.
“Thank you for the meal.”
She dabbed her mouth with a napkin and stroked the rabbit doll.
“It’s been a long time since I had a dish that made me lose the urge to curse. For about thirty minutes, anyway.”
“Thirty minutes is still a relief.”
“This passes. It’s worthy of a 7th Circle mage’s recommendation.”
She stood up. While rummaging in her pocket for payment, she suddenly froze.
“Ah.”
“Is something wrong?”
“I… spent all my money. I bought materials for a curse doll on the way here.”
Dine and dash? There was no telling what this monster might do if I asked her to pay. I frantically waved my hands.
“Oh, today’s on the house as an opening celebration! No need to pay—”
“No. Equivalent exchange is my principle.”
She shook her head firmly. Then she pulled a crumpled old book from her arms. Black smoke rose from its leather cover.
“Instead of money, I’ll give you this. I wrote it myself.”
“What is it?”
“Something like… a recipe. I thought it would suit you.”
She tossed the book onto the counter with a thud.
Skillbook: The Cursed One’s Touch (Author: CurseGirl)
Grade: Unique
Description: A curse skill that inflicts random status abnormalities on anything it touches. When applied to cooking, it can grant an ‘addictive flavor’ instead of food poisoning.
“Thank… you?”
“Use it well. If you cook with it… your customers won’t be able to leave.”
She grinned.
“Well, I’m off. I might drop by again sometime.”
Ding. Creeeak.
She opened the door and left. The heavy pressure that had been crushing the dungeon vanished like a lie the moment she disappeared.
“Haaaa…”
My legs gave out and I collapsed to the floor. It was a different kind of terror from when I first met Lucy. If Lucy was overwhelming force pressing down, CurseGirl felt like sinking into a swamp simply by existing.
Just then, Lucy—who had been sleeping at the counter—stretched and woke up.
Lucy yawned, tail swaying lazily.
“Huh? Oh, just a customer.”
Lucy sniffed the air a few times before losing interest.
As expected of the Demon King. She sensed CurseGirl’s aura, judged her weaker, and simply went back to sleep. My opinion differed, though. Regardless of raw power, CurseGirl was the type who would make your life exhausting if you messed with her. If Lucy was physical destruction, she was mental destruction.
The next day, I opened the gallery.
Reading the comments sent a chill down my spine. Eternal hiccups? Just imagining it was horrifying. Still, it looked like I was earning recognition from the strongest old-timers in this other world.
“Daon! Food!”
Lucy scratched at my leg, complaining she was hungry.
“Yes, yes, I’m coming. Today’s special is steak with ‘Cursed(?) Sauce.’”
I opened the skillbook CurseGirl had given me. My cooking would now transcend ordinary gourmet food and become true Demon King’s cuisine where magic and curses coexisted.
Of course, test subject number one was the red cat right in front of me.
“Out of the way! If you’re going to knead dough like that, go die! Oh wait, you’re already dead!”
As always, the kitchen of the Demon King’s Table opened with Kastab’s shouting. He was supervising the skeletons at the prep stations.
“Chef, please calm down. You’re going to wear their bones away.”
I entered the kitchen with a wry smile. A bizarre yet lively scene unfolded before me.
In the right corner was the pastry section. Marie, wearing a white lace bonnet, was piping fresh cream onto a cake with delicate precision. Her hand movements were far more elegant than any living person’s.
“Lord Daon, you’ve arrived?” Marie greeted me.
“Today’s dessert is ‘Blood Velvet Cake.’ I used beet juice to give it that red color.”
“Oh, Lucy will love that.”
On the left was the butchery station. It was brutal. Baron, with her short haircut, wielded a greatsword as tall as herself to dismantle a massive monster hind leg. It used to be an orc’s weapon.
Bang! Bang! Bang!
“Hey, boss.”
Baron waved, her apron splattered with blood. Her voice was husky and rough. Was it strange to feel a boyish charm from a ghost?
“The wyvern meat that came in today has incredible texture. The bones and flesh separate so cleanly.”
“Baron, handle the knife more gently. You’re going to break the cutting board.”
“Don’t worry. My blade avoids bone and only carves meat.”
The confident grin she showed was reassuring.
At this level, we didn’t lose to a Michelin three-star kitchen.
“Alright, everyone pay attention.” I clapped my hands.
“We’re starting new menu development today. We’ll be testing the ‘Cursed One’s Touch’ skill that CurseGirl kindly donated.”
And right now was the perfect moment to test the new menu.