Even If It's Chuunibyou, I Still Want to Clear the Dungeon

The old-timers grumbled, and Lucy made a show of pointing at the back of my neck. The contract sigil was glowing faintly.

"How cheap! I want to form a contract with Daon too!"

Elin, who was finally regaining some sanity as the curse from the stew wore off, shouted in her high-pitched voice.

"We can make a holy contract! I can bless you every single day!"

The StaffCarvingGranny ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠refused to be outdone.

"Aigoo, Saintess. Blessings? Newbie, come with Granny. I'll leave you my entire fortune and all my artifacts."

BlackFlameDragon, watching the whole thing, refused to back down either.

"Let's destroy the world together, partner."

A fierce tug-of-war was breaking out right on the dining table. I kept my head down and silently sliced the meat. It felt like I was going to get indigestion. Actually, I already had.

That was when the SeventhCircleArchmage smiled with clear intent and dropped a bomb.

"Fine. If talking won't work, we'll just have to show you with actions."

"Huh?"

"We've decided to establish a branch here in the dungeon."

"A branch?"

"That's right. The official offline branch of the Mage Gallery. This dungeon has plenty of space and excellent mana density, doesn't it?"

She looked around.

"The second and third floors are empty, right? We'll remodel them and use the space. We'll pay generous rent, of course."

"Wait, hold on. This is my dungeon with the Demon King."

"That's why I'm saying we'll pay. Besides, if we're here..." She glanced at Elin. "Even if the Holy Empire or the imperial army comes knocking, we can hold them off. Who would dare touch a place guarded by three archmages?"

It was tempting. Having solid backup like that would be reassuring. But it also felt like I was suddenly gaining three more mothers-in-law.

"Hoo...?" Lucy licked her lips. "Rent? Will you pay a lot?"

"An absolutely enormous amount. Enough for the Demon King to pile cakes into a mountain and still have some left over."

"Approved. We'll sign."

Lucy had apparently sold every last scrap of her pride for money (which meant cake).

"Lucy!!!"

Despite my anguished scream, the contract went through anyway.

"Looking forward to working with you, landlord."

The SeventhCircleArchmage gave a faint smile as she greeted me. At the same time, StaffCarvingGranny started massaging my shoulder.

"Now Granny will prepare delicious things (=tonics) for you every day. If you can't sleep at night, come to Granny's room."

BlackFlameDragon wasn't about to be left ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠out.

"I must establish an altar of darkness in the basement."

The SeventhCircleArchmage also seemed fully intent on turning my dungeon into complete chaos.

"I shall claim the top floor with the nice view for my laboratory."

And so my dungeon became...

First floor: Restaurant frequented by the Demon King and the Saintess.

Second floor: Hideout for the ancient mage hags.

Basement: Kitchen belonging to the excavated undead.

It had truly turned into a demon's lair.

The night grew deep. The gallery members each claimed their rooms and disappeared inside. Elin was dragged away by the hero party like she was being kidnapped. I dragged my exhausted body into Lucy's room—the boss room.

"Haaaa..."

I collapsed onto the bed. Then I felt a presence beside me.

"Daon."

Lucy was sitting on the edge of the bed, looking down at me. Her red hair spilled forward and tickled my face.

"You worked hard today."

"Thank you for recognizing that..."

"But you know..."

Lucy's finger traced my lips.

"I really don't like the way those old foxes keep eyeing you."

"I'm tired..."

"That's why I'm going to make things clear."

"Huh?"

Lucy slowly climbed on top of me. Her crimson eyes gleamed seductively in the darkness.

"Who the landlord is... and who your owner is."

She grinned.

"I won't let you sleep tonight. Prepare yourself."

I squeezed my eyes shut. Surviving in this dungeon. The difficulty was already way past nightmare and heading straight into hell. But what could I do? Tomorrow morning I'd have to cook again and open for business. I was Kim Daon, the family provider of this other world.

"Please... go easy on me."

My pathetic voice scattered into the night air of the dungeon.

The next day.

I climbed to the second floor with Lucy (in cat mode) perched on my shoulder. What used to be a floor crawling with monsters had been completely transformed by the Mage Gallery veterans' remodeling. It was now an entirely different world.

And right in front of me was a door covered in black curtains, candles, and magic circles. It was obviously BlackFlameDragon's room.

Knock knock.

"Enter. I've already disabled the barrier."

When I opened the door, a thick rose scent stabbed my nose. The room was filled with gothic furniture. And right in the middle stood BlackFlameDragon.

"You've arrived, my partner."

Her outfit was even more extravagant than usual. A black lace gothic lolita dress with layers upon layers. Her twin-tail hair, tied high, cascaded all the way to her waist and swayed gently. One eye was covered by an eyepatch embroidered with a red rose, and her hand was wrapped in bandages. Visually she looked like the president of a cosplay club, but the magic power radiating from her was the real deal.

"Big sis, your outfit today... you really went all out, huh?"

"Hmph. When crossing dimensions, wearing proper formal attire is only polite."

She lifted the hem of her skirt elegantly and gave a curtsy.

"Are you ready? The place we're going is an S-rank dungeon—the Shore of Screams."

"S-rank? Am I going to die?"

"Don't worry. This body, the 'Black Guide,' will protect you."

She had just called herself the Black Guide with her own mouth.

This should be fun.

Lucy on my shoulder yawned and swished her tail.

We're going to catch those fishy-smelling octopus bastards, right? I wanted to eat takoyaki anyway. Perfect timing.

"Then let's go."

BlackFlameDragon reached out toward empty air. Sparks of black lightning crackled from her bandaged hand.

The effect was impressive even if the chant made my anti-chuunibyou resistance kick in. Space tore open and a massive purple vortex formed. High-level dimensional magic that ordinary mages could never cast in their lifetime—she had opened it with a single chuunibyou chant.

"Let's go, partner!"

She grabbed my hand. It was small and cold, but her grip was firm. We were sucked into the vortex.

Whoosh—!

The scenery changed. Instead of the musty cave smell, the salty scent of the sea rushed in. When I opened my eyes, we were standing on a cliff. Below us stretched a black sea with violent crashing waves.

The dungeon, Shore of Screams.

"Whoa, nice view."

"No time to admire it. They're coming."

BlackFlameDragon moved to remove her eyepatch... then stopped and simply extended her hand. Looked like the eyepatch was purely for fashion.

"Kyeeeeeek—!"

Giant monstrous birds rose from the sea. Siren Harpies. Monsters with human faces and bird bodies. Dozens of them dove toward us in a flock.

"How dare you!"

BlackFlameDragon's twin tails whipped wildly in the sea breeze.

"Do not approach my partner! Dark Flame Burst—!"

BOOOOM—!

Black flames erupted from her hand like a dragon. With a single strike, over a dozen harpies in the lead turned into charred lumps without even screaming and plummeted.

Flashy effects and overwhelming destructive power. This was why she was called the "攻略 King" in the gallery.

"Heh heh... as expected, my power cannot be controlled."

She struck a pose while clutching her bandaged hand.

"That's pretty cool...?"

When I gave her a thumbs-up, her pale cheeks flushed slightly.

"C-cool? It's only natural!"

Hmph.

At that moment, Lucy snorted from my shoulder.

Catching mere small fry and acting all smug. Step aside, chuunibyou.

Lucy kicked off my shoulder and leaped into the air. A red flash burst in midair, and Demon King Lucy appeared in her dress.

"Real hunting is done like this."

Lucy snapped her fingers.

"Blood Magic, Rain of Crimson Thorns."

The entire sea turned red. Thousands of blood-red thorns formed in the air and poured down like machine-gun fire. The remaining harpies, along with the fishmen poking their heads out of the water, were all skewered.

Thudthudthudthud!

In an instant, the shoreline was covered in monster corpses.

"How about it, Daon? I'm stronger, right? I'm cooler, aren't I?"

Lucy floated in the air, puffing out her chest like a cat—wait, like a dog begging for praise.

"Yes, yes, Lucy is the best. Absolutely the strongest!"

"Tsk. It's just a simple display of power. There's no aesthetic to it, no aesthetic!"

BlackFlameDragon grumbled.

Caught between the two destructive ladies, I busily ran around looting the corpses.

"Obtained harpy wing ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠meat. Obtained fishman tenderloin. Oh, this would be perfect for spicy stew."

That was when the sea began to boil violently.

"KUOOOOOH—!"

The surface exploded as a house-sized shadow surged upward. The dungeon boss, the Deep Sea Lord Kraken. It was a colossal octopus.